Joke 1:
Funny Ways To Breakup With Your Spouse

The following below are the funniest ways to breakup with your Boy/Girlfriend..."16 missed calls?! You killed my battery so you're capable of killing me... It's over!!!""How come mosquito is biting me and not biting you? I smell conspiracy. IT'S OVER!""You don't even respect me, I'm talking and you are busy breathing? It's over!""So now you're drinking coke that has another man's name on it, better go and find him because it's over between us.""So Beyonce's "Drunk in love" is your caller tune? I can't trust alcoholics with my future kids.""They are shouting bird flu, you are still cooking chicken. You want to kill me? It is over!""I called you and you picked up immediately. You lack patience. I can't date someone who's not patient.""Why are you using broom to sweep my room when you know I support PDP? It's over!""You are always abbreviating your texts, you want our children to be short abi? It's OVER!""I told you I love my food hot but you refused to warm the ice cream. You don't care about me. It's over!""You don't pay your tithe, if you can cheat on God, then who am I?

Joke 2:
The Farmer's Horse

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat. One day, the horse became ill. So he called the veterinarian, who said, "Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the third day and if he's not better, we're going to have to kill her." Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation. The next day, they gave the horse the medicine and left. The goat approached the horse and said, Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to kill you! On the second day, they again gave the horse the medicine and left. The goat came back and said, "Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three..." On the third day, they came to give the horse the medicine and the vet said, "Unfortunately, we're going to have to kill her tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses." After they left, the goat approached the horse and said, "Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on... Get up... Get up... That's it, slowly... Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on... Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! Yes! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!" All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting, "It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand party." He called his servant, "Tom, kill and prepare the goat!"

Joke 3:
My Grandchildren

A mother-in-law ask her son's wife a question, "Why is that all my grandchildren don't resemble my son?"The daugher-in-law replied, "What I have between my legs isn't a photocopying machine but a reproductive organ."

Joke 4:
Money Title

Money has different names:1. When you owe someone (DEBT)2. In church it's called (OFFERING)3. When you borrow from the bank (LOAN)4. When you offer after a service (TIP)5. In marriage it's called (BRIDE PRICE)6. In divorce it's called (ALIMONY)7. Boss to workers (SALARY)8. Master to subordinate (WAGES)9. When you pay government (TAX)10. In court (FINES)11. Government to retirees (PENSION)12. Children (MAINTENANCE)The question is "when a Boyfriend gives to his Girlfriend" what should we call it?

Joke 5:
Questions and answers

How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

No time at all it is already built.

If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

Very large hands.

If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.

What looks like half apple?

The other half.

What invention made it possible for humans to walk through walls?

The door.

Last Joke:
Science Demonstration

A group of scientists organised a competition to test the intelligence of different African students at inventing things.  Three African students qualified for the final. On the day of the final, they were called out from the crowd to come and present what they had invented. The first student came out and said; "I'm Thambo Masekela from South-African, I invented a Biro that can write what people are saying on a paper itself." He demonstrated his experiment and was applauded it. The second student came out; "I'm Nyara Wangai from Kenya. I invented a Chip that can tell the amount of money on anybody standing close to it." She demonstrated her experiment and was applauded for it. The third student came out and said; "I'm  Asad oomaar from Somalia. I invented an explosive that can shatter the human body into a million pieces, penetrating the hardest of bones. Can you allow me to sit down, while I demonstrate my experiment?" The Chief Scientist stood up and said; "Don't bother to demonstrate it, you are the winner of this competition!"