You’re like a bag of pampers. Self absorbed and full of shit. 

I  would tell you to go fuck yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.

Since you know it all, you should know when to shut the fuck up.

Yep, no doubt about it, your father should have pulled out earlier.

I swear some men were conceived by anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.

I’m not a proctologist but I sure know an asshole when I see one.

I hear there’s a new app called sense of humour. Download it bitch!

You’re like a plunger, you like bringing up old shit.