Love is something that has always managed to evade me. I was always in an unpleasant situation or as they call them nowadays, situationships.  It was either I loved someone who didn't love me back or someone loved me and I didn't find them mildly attractive.

I always thought I would be one of those girls. You know, the ones that eventually would settle for just anyone because they ended up not having the one they dreamt of. They called them standards, I called them not settling for less. But then again, whose the judge of the deserving and undeserving. Take for example those who are born ugly, right from their very first breathe, they have a york to carry. It isn't their fault. these people will live half if not all of their lives being judged for something they didn't have control over.

Me, I was just one of the unlucky ones. I wasn't the most beautiful out there but I wasn't ugly either. I have, on a couple occasions been called pretty, sometimes pretty hot even. The problem wasn't looks, in fact I still don't know what the problem is.

Born and raised in a religious home, prayer was a norm. I didn't hate it. To me, it was a calming experience, fulfilling endeavor and overall, drew me closer to one larger than life itself. That is not to say I was a saint, in fact, chief of sinners I might be.

The only true love I have experienced was that of my parents. My mom and Dad, on the verge of a divorce themselves each loved me unconditionally. Despite their own battles, they made sure I grew up in love. It didn't help growing up as an only girl with four big brothers either. I was lucky than most in this regard. The good times outweighed the lonely times, the tempting times, the grieving times, the depressive times or even the heartbreaking times.

Here I was, three years later at the university doing a course of my choice and I still didn't know how time went by so quickly. Just the other day I was only finishing high school and now I'm counting months until I graduate. Time just flew right by and I still felt some kind of loneliness. Still single, I had given up on searching. At this point, I didn't give one rat's ass if I die single.

There were more important things to focus on. I had a whole career and a whole new life ahead of me. Why cry over some boys who couldn't tell apart their nose from their dicks. Don't get me wrong, I did get approached, asked out on many occasions but none of those who tried really caught my attention. One thing about Julie, she doesn't just do things for the sake of it. I had one golden rule when it came to dating, I didn't do meaningless relationships. Perhaps that was the reasons I was still single. Perhaps I should have taken more chances. Perhaps I should have let my guard down a few times, just to know how it feels.