Damon awoke to an empty bed, sitting up in confusion he found Avery nowhere to be seen. And it terrified him. With what Avery had said the night before, Damon was scared something had happened to him. Or maybe he was just upset.

Damon wasn't sure, he felt like Avery was shutting himself off from him, despite the revelations of the previous night, he felt like there was so much left unsaid. He did at least, know where his boyfriend might be.

He reached the clearing in the woods not too long after, and sure enough Avery was there. Knees pulled up to his chest and a half empty bottle of some sort of cheap liquor, Damon couldn't figure out how long he had been there.

"Avery?" He asked gently as he came to sit beside him. Avery said nothing, only held the bottle out to him. Damon pushed it away. "How long have you been out here?"

"Couple of hours." Avery replied quietly, taking a swig from the bottle.

"What's wrong?" Damon gently took the bottle from his boyfriends hand. Avery didn't even register that it had gone.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not." Damon moved closer to him, taking his chin in one hand and gently wiping away the tears that listened against Avery's smooth skin. "You're crying."

"I'm fine."

"Avery come on, this isn't like you." Damon was worried, his eyes scanning Avery's face in an attempt to find any reaction at all from him.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Avery, I don't want to lose you." Damon was getting closer and closer to his boyfriend and he was doing everything in his power to stop himself from kissing him. "Please, I've almost lost you once, I can't go through that again."

"You won't lose me." Avery finally met Damon's eyes.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Avery nodded.

"Good." Finally Damon gave in and kissed him. And of course Avery kissed him back. Damon pulled Avery closer to him, keeping one hand possessively on the small of Avery's back to ensure that they stayed close together. With the other hand he began to run his fingers through Avery's hair, relishing in the closeness between the two and Avery with both arms wrapped around Damon's neck clearly didn't want to be any further away from him then Damon did.

It was Avery who pulled away first, his eyes were gleaming with tears. He didn't say anything, only pulled Damon close to him, hiding his face in his chest. Damon just held him as he cried, his sobs shaking both of them violently. "Its okay, we're going to be okay." He murmured as he held his broken victor close.

Avery was drunk and emotional and it was only ten A.M. It worried Damon, he didn't want Avery to end up like this, he'd seen so many victors in the capital turn to alcohol to get by and the fact that it might happen to Avery when he was so young, it broke his heart, he had to stop it, but Avery had clearly hit a mental and emotional wall that he couldn't see past and it was terrifying to see him that way.

"Don't give up." Damon murmured as he gently brushed Avery's messy hair out of his eyes, Avery didn't respond, only moved his head so Damon couldn't see his face. "Please, don't give up."

They sat there for a while, before Avery finally spoke. "I can't do this anymore."

"Avi this isn't like you, you have to let go of the past and focus on the future." Damon said, he knew it was too soon, far too soon for Avery to be talking about what he had been through, but there was no harm in trying. "Talk to me please."

"I've killed people Damon, I've killed people." Avery finally let go of him. "How am I supposed to forgive myself for that?"

"Because they would have killed you." Damon responded. "You had no choice."

"I didn't have to kill them." Avery murmured, his eyes were red from crying and Damon noticed him reach for the bottle.

"Yes you did, you made me a promise and you kept it, you kept yourself alive." Damon said, watching Avery take a swig from the bottle.

"How can you stand to be around me?" He said inbetween swigs of alcohol.

"You're not a monster Avery, no matter what you think, you are not a monster and you are not a killer." Damon tried to take the bottle away from him again, but Avery moved his hand away. "You did what you had to do to survive and you came home."

After Avery took another drink, Damon seized the opportunity to grab the bottle and empty it out, discarding it to one side when he was done. "I am not giving up on you Avery, and you better not give up on yourself."

"Its not getting easier." Avery murmured staring at the empty bottle wistfully.

"You have to give it time, you went through hell, you need time to heal." Damon was trying to be delicate, but he couldn't help the anger that boiled up inside of him. How could the capital be okay with this? He was angry at what it had done to Avery, who was so perfect in his eyes, but so broken from his experiences. He felt cheated.

"I don't think I can." Avery muttered, he sounded so shattered, so unlike the boy Damon had fallen for.

"Avery you are the strongest person I know, if any one can get through this, you definitely can." Damon told him. He gently forced Avery to look at him. "You're stronger than this. You can beat it."

"I'm scared." Avery's eyes filled up with tears. Damon kissed his forehead gently.

"I know, but I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."