The awakening, the party after the funeral. It's supposed to be the time where everyone acknowledges their own lives and how they're still alive. Not to mourn death but to celebrate life, but in reality  it's where everyone just goes for the free food and tea.

My parents hosted they're daughters awakening in their living room. Strangers crowded the whole first floor of our home while I sat on the stair case, crying. I couldn't stand to be near people right now.
No one dared bat an eye towards me, they just chatted,  laughed and enjoys the free food and tea. I doubt they acknowledge that I'm here with the amount of distractions downstairs.

So here I remain on the stair case the whole time, watching people pace back and forth between the food and divide into different gossip groups. There wasn't any point listening to what they were saying,  it was all nonsense, none of it was about Ellia.

I sat there for over an hour, my eyes followed my mother pacing around the room offering food to people, it wasn't until she stood in front of the stare case, facing the other way, that she gave up offering to everyone after everyone rejected her quiche.
An audible sigh came from my mother as she slowly turned, over looking the amount of people temporarily inhabiting her home. She was just about to move on till she spotted me on the top steps of our staircase. She gave me an exhausted, weak smile. I didn't return the gesture, just stared back at her the same expression I've had since I've sat down here on this step an hour ago. Her eyes started to sink, and her gaze moved to the lower steps. She slumped her shoulders.  She felt my pain, if not more of it. She was only putting a friendly face on for the people, she shouldn't be waiting on people in her own home, but knowing her, she had to be doing something. My mother was never empty handed.

It wasn't until the sound of breaking glass woke her from her trace. Her head snapped to the direction of the sound, trying to see over crowd of people to see where commotion of now laughter came from. She quickly gave me a quick look before running to her lost glass soldier.
Mothers collection of china and glasses were precious to her, it's her pride and joy to collect dishes for some reason.
And yet again, I was alone.

...

Everyone had left, thankfully.

  After a long painful day I gladly didn't have to show my face anymore. not that I technically was apart from when everyone was saying the condolences and goodbyes. I quarantined myself in my room until later that evening hours after the awake that I left my room again and crept my way down stairs. From the last step I could see into the kitchen/dining room.

My parents sat at either ends of the table, from where I was I  couldn't see my father, but if it wasn't for my mother frequently looking up at him from the pile of paper work in front  of her, i wouldn't have guessed where he sat.

I remained still, trying to over hear them. They starting yelling at each other, over costs of the funeral, food, bills and such.

Mum's hands expressed her frustration, constantly thrashing around as herself and my father yelled over the table, neither of them giving the chance for the other to speak.

It wasn't until my father stopped yelling, my father looked at him confused for a moment that she knew what he was looking at.

I slowly started walking towards the kitchen,  when the TV on the kitchen counter come into view, the volume got louder the closer I got to it. I didn't notice that it was on from the stairs.

I stopped in the door way of the dining room, everyone's attention was towards the TV.

The NEWS.

A lady stood in the middle of a screen holding a microphone,  she wore a red jacket and a purple scarf, her brunette hair sat on her shoulders.

The scene behind her was at the cemetery, clearly after the service the news people ran down to make their report.

"Just days ago the alleged 16 year old Ellia. Jackson. Went missing on her way home from school. Police reportedly found her body by Murrysville river here in Bubrooke, 23 hours after concerned parents of the young girl reported her missing.  Police stated that Ellia had raped, beaten and killed before her body was dumped by the river, there are no suspects just yet, but we advise to keep an eye on your children and any suspicious persons. If you have any idea of who the murderer might be, please report to the police at crimestoppers.com,"

My father turned the TV off before we could here anything else.  Mother let out a heavy sad sigh and leaned her face into her hands. She sobbed quietly, father slowly came to aid for her and rubbed her back gently. My mother didn't deserve this, to lose her child. No one  should ever have to feel the pain a family feels when you lose a loved one.

"Get off me," mother said under her breath to dad.

He stopped and leaned down, not saying anything, just trying to look her in the eye.

Mum snapped, irritated and spat at my father.

"I said, Get Off Me!"

He immediately backed off, arms up in surrender.  Standing behind her.
Mum turned and gave him a dirty glare before turning back around, folded her arms on the table and rested her head on her arms.

Dad hesitantly wanted to  comfort her but gave up. Didn't want to barked at again.

It was enough for me. I took off, storming up stares to my bedroom.  I could feel fathers eyes watching me, neither mum or dad knew that I was down stairs. I think my parents would have felt guilty if they knew I there. They wouldn't have wanted me to see our family falling apart.

Mum and dad know that my baby sisters death had taken a hard toll on me. We were close my sister and I. You could say that we were like best friends, the moment she was born, I swore I'd never let anyone hurt her.
I'm sorry I couldn't keep that promise baby sis.