I wrote this last summer when it was too hot in my room and I couldn't sleep so I guess that's an excuse for breaking the writer's fourth wall. It's not even that smutty, compared to previous stuff. It's just really weird, and inspired by the one and only, Billie Guitar.

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Now, you may be wondering why Joe Perry was red with rage and yet the one down on his knees yanking out Steven Tyler's penis to wrap his lips around.

Of course you may not, in which case, you can stop reading now.

However, if you're a curious soul, or just genuinely bored and for whatever reason are reading a new update, then you might want some details of how that situation might have cum about.

Picture this: Steven has gifted you a guitar because he simply loves the life out of you. You are, obviously, Joe in this case and Joe plays guitar so, yeah, that works.

Said guitar was something like a thousand dollars, custom Gibson, and all in all, a priceless piece of craftsmanship.

Nice, right?

Yeah, wrong.

Well, not technically wrong, but it had quite a substantial problem with the design.

Why, you ask?

Steven Tyler's face. It had Steven Victor Tallarico, Steven Tally, The Demon of Screamin', whatever-you-want-to-call this-man's goddamn face on it.

Yep. You read that right.

The Steven Guitar.

Now, picture this: It's concert night and Steven forced you to take THE STEVEN GUITAR as he declared it so proudly, in your arsenal to play during the encore AT THE VERY LEAST.

(Capital letters are because Steven has a loud voice. He also types in them on all of his social media accounts.)

You are, of course, still Joe, and you/Joe also love Steven very much, but his nagging and enthusiasm does piss you off a lot, even if you've learned to put up with him your whole life and have got pretty good at ignoring him.

So anyway, the concert in Minneapolis happens, The Steven Guitar was indeed played for the very first time during the encore which means it was sure to make headlines in the next few days, but it wasn't just the outrageous guitar design that might be slapped on the front page of a rock magazine and gain a few laughs or "what the fucks?"

It was how Steven performed around Joe whilst The Steven Guitar was slung across his body that was most concerning, and any videos that made it into the world might need to be locked in a vault never to be seen again.

(Yo, Pam and Tommy writers! Where you at!? *Edit, I must've finished watching Pam and Tommy and made a link to their sex tape being stolen from the safe 💀)

To put it simply, and you'll have to use your imagination here...STEVEN CROUCHED DOWN RUBBING HIS MIC STAND BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND SNOGGED HIS OWN FACE WHILST JOE SOLOED WALK THIS FUCKING WAY.

(Walk this way* 'Fucking' isn't explicitly in the title, but it might as well be with how iconic the riff is.)

So, that happened and Joe didn't really know what to think, but it got the crowd going, apparently Steven too (which was a bit...self gay?) and he still managed his solos as usual, if a little put off by the saliva that shined on his instrument.

Aerosmith continued their short US tour and The Steven Guitar kept being played because it was a demand from Steven, and Joe would lose his voice if he kept yelling back gay insults when he was gay with the man he was yelling at. BUT, his argument was because Steven kept doing WEIRDER shit around him and it was honestly a bit concerning.

Examples!

Steven liked to hump his own face. Spraying water on his face like it was piss, or like he was ejaculating (electrical were not too happy with that one). But it was mostly kissing with his big lips onto his printed big lips, and licking his tongue on his printed mouth.

Oh, and...spanking? A nice big slap on his face cheek and knocking all of the guitar's tone knobs in doing so.

Joe really did put up with all of this whilst he was trying to play. He was used to it at this point, but when Steven caused him to lose his balance during an instrumental interval in an Ohio concert and stumbled on stage, he did lose his temper and stormed over to his boyfriend.

Sigh.

Yes, they were still boyfriends after all; it would take a lot more than constant arguing to break them up.

Not the usual couple, are they?

"Ohhh shit," Steven said into his mic, though from the way he laughed as he spoke, it sounded like he slurred his words.

Joe nudged his mouth closer, but his voice still cut out with how Steven hogged it.

"You see...th...tar?

"Say that again," the singer snickered, his sweaty, smug face showcasing just how much he enjoyed being in trouble. "I don't think they quite got that."

Joe was sweaty too- his shirt was long gone, and he was left in ripped jeans. With all his frustration though, he just wanted to lick the shine from Steven's skin. He also thought that the fancy stage wear (with some interesting personal adjustments- you'll find out, don't worry) needed to be ripped off.

"You see this guitar!?" Joe asked the audience, lifting up his weapon from his muscular torso. He whipped his head, and hair, right towards a smirking Steven, swaying with the mic stand. "This fucking guy bought it for me, but I think it was just a present for himself so he could fuck his face on stage."

The crowd went wild. Literally. Like it was the best insult they had ever heard.

Joe felt a rush of heat tinkering with the strings since he was heavily breathing in the same air as his idiotic boyfriend, because the only thing separating them was the teetering mic stand decorated in ocean themed scarves.

"You mi...s'well-"

Steven definitely rolled his eyes as he looped an arm over his shoulders and nudged the mic against Joe's mouth again because his voice wasn't picking up properly.

Letting his guitar hang freely, Joe clasped his hands around the mic for himself and started again.

"You might as well see Steven's fuckin' dick at this point because he's so gay!"

But Joe wasn't done there either. He was on a roll, laughing softly as he let rip on the insults, and faced the enormous crowd.

"I mean, why do you think he's wearing this brand-" Joe reached to nudge apart the thin, sparkly jacket Steven wore. "See? GAP, which stands for Gay And Proud."

"Did I hear a live strip show is inbound?"

Oh, yeah because Tom stepped forward to HIS mic on the stage with a big smirk on his face. Oh, and then Joey took that as his cue to start doing a slow foot drum beat and a simple snare beat afterwards as encouragement. Brad was just laughing and had given up playing at this point.

The instrumental was non-existent.

"Yeah, come on, Steven! Take off your pants!" Joe provoked, lips brushing the mic from his taunting smile. He even reached over his abandoned guitar that he slung to his left hip, to squeeze the singer's crotch. "Show us whatcha got packin' in here!"

Another firm rub of his hand, the twinkle in Steven's eye appeared (the lustful looks they gave each other were extremely inappropriate) and he lurched forward to take the mic. He pressed it right up to his mouth, carrying it with one hand and tugging back his hair with the other.

Joe had succeeded with his tease.

"Oh shit! Ohhh SHIT! YOU WANNA SEE MY COCK!?"

Joey was picking up the drum beat to encourage it, and with Tom and Brad's clapping hands above their heads, the crowd quickly caught on.

Steven marched up to the front of the stage.

"I SAID, DO YOU WANNA SEE MY COCK!?"

He leaned his mic out to the hollering, clapping crowd, and there was quite a substantial approval to his request.

Joe joined him out front, grinning like a mad man, already strumming the bluesy chords on The Steven Guitar with an intro of a fitting song that let the rest of the band know what to play next.

"Better get those cameras ready. It's a sight for sore eyes!"

Steven placed the mic stand down next to him, whipped off his jacket, and threw it in the crowd.

In time with the drums, he undid the zip on his crotch slowly, head thrown back despite the fact he was so obviously having the time of his life, and the crowd was LIVING when he sensually rubbed the area around his penis.

The leather was pushed down and down...and down and down to his knees, and then he held up his Gay And Proud t-shirt with the nipples cut out (*Le Gasp* The wardrobe adjustments!) and pushed down the waistband of his underwear.

Thank the lords it wasn't a thong.

"Keep goin', Steven," Joe said, taking advantage of the best view as he spoke into the sacred microphone. "Gotta give the people what they paid for."

To give the frontman credit, his clothed cock was easily outlined and he showed a decent amount of pubes, but Steven was never going to go the whole way. However, Joe's assumptions weren't entirely true, because he received a sexy wink, and Steven flashed his ass to the crowd instead of his dick so the quickening drum beats didn't go to waste.

Steven was yanking up his trousers not a second later, not bothering to do them up properly, and he grabbed his mic stand by the scarves. His sweaty hair stuck to his neck as he ran back up the stage, but he had left quite a visual impact judging by the fainting chicks in the front row.

"HIT IT!"

Joe heard his boyfriend's voice, stayed put at the front, and led the way into Big Ten Inch Record like nothing had ever happened.

Cool story? Maybe a bit disappointing that there were no snapshots of the frontman's penis? And it still doesn't really explain why Joe was angry?

Well, the first one is true according to the latest issue of In Rock magazine, the second is true because that grand cock was for Joe's eyes only, and the third is true because that happened back on tour, and now they weren't.

It was their first day off to be exact, and things were never as perfect as they seemed on stage.

Steven's voice was recovering, yet he was still pestering Joe about the darn guitar, and when they lived together, there was never an escape.

"Admit it! It's your favourite guitar."

"I don't have a favourite, Steven. I have about three hundred, and picking one is impossible."

It was Joe's response every single time, bar a change of words here and there depending on his mood, and rightfully, he had reached his limit with his patience. Not even preparing a simple side salad for their dinner was enough to enlighten a different conversation topic, or even a nice, relaxing silence.

"Yeah, and one of which is The Steven Guitar, better known as the best in the fucking-"

Joe dropped the knife. His nostrils flared, his eyes pressed closed, and he ground his teeth.

He was fuming. His ears felt hot and just thinking about punishments was teasing to get him hard.

"...world?"

Joe dried his hands on a tea towel, scrunched it in a ball next to the chopping board, and then made his way around to stand in front of a weary looking Steven.

"Undo your jeans."

Steven snorted. "What?"

"Don't make me ask you again."

"Why do you-"

Joe held up a firm palm as if to say: 'you already got the punishment cumming, don't deny yourself the free orgasm now.'

Steven controlled his interrupted mouth that was parted in a graceful o-shape, obeyed, and his fingers gravitated to the button to pop it through. Like the good boy he could be, he even paused on the zip.

"Now stand right there, whilst you learn to shut fuck up."

When Steven was in the correct position, Joe dropped to his knees, yanked down the jeans and underwear and grabbed the soft cock. It didn't stay soft for very long when he was jerking his hand and licking the sides and shoving it down his throat for a few seconds.

"Not a word. Understand?"

Steven nodded.

Blowjobs were easy when you knew how and your partner knew what. And Joe knew how, and Steven knew what. So the speed, the little pressure here, the little rub there, and the drifting tongue in time with a squeeze, was a formula they had perfected.

A lot of the time it was switched up to tease and prolong, but when it was fast and dirty, Joe could make Steven cum down his throat in about a minute.

Sucking, lightly gagging, a trail of Joe's saliva dripped from the tip when he pulled away, and as he rested hands on bare thighs, Steven's cock nudging against his chin, he listened to the whiny noise that escaped above.

Joe watched for a while, noticed the white knuckles curled on the kitchen counter, but he never saw the face above him. No, that was angled away to the outside and probably had a harsh clamp of his lip and screwed up eyebrows from having his cock so roughly used.

Then, because Joe was in the middle of making dinner, he went for the grand finale.

Even in his dominant moods, he savoured the sweet taste of his boyfriend's cum when he licked his lips clean, because he loved it. He loved being responsible for pleasure. And he loved how Steven avoided his eyes when he casually walked past like he hadn't just given an unscheduled blowie.

"Don't ask me that fuckin' question again."

The knife hit the chopping board with a firm slice into a tomato, and Steven perched half on the stool he sat on before, dick softening and shiny with spit and cum, and a lot more out of breath than he had been a couple of minutes ago.

It was a lesson learned for now.

You can probably guess what happened later because Steven was never quiet for very long, and as for Joe's opinion on The Steven Guitar...

Well, that was a secret. I guess you'd have to ask him yourself.

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