❝It's not the pain. It's who it comes from.❞

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CUATRO:

A CRACK IN THE WALL

Rough fingers crept along the back of her leg to wrap it around a firm waist, waking her from her slumber as they traced her side and found her right breast. A breathy sigh escaped her as his hand sent a wave of pleasure throughout her body, before her grey eyes fluttered open. As contradictory feelings sprouted from the exhausting battle between her heart and her mind, her lips curled into a relieved smile at the sight of his tanned form looming over her.

His blue eyes held a familiar intensity, a meaning that both soothed and aroused her. That smirk that drove her crazy danced on his lips as he kept her bare legs wrapped around him, and it only grew when his hardness teasingly rubbed the warm cavity between them. Calloused hands gripped her wrists and held them on the pillow over her head, before he latched his mouth to her sensitive neck and bit down hard.

It felt like an electric jolt of realization shook her body as his teeth sank into her skin, causing her eyes to snap open as a pained moan left her lips. The brutality of an attack she hadn't been expecting brought her out of her fantasy, and reality came crashing over her by the hand of dread. Her stomach churned with the remains of alcohol as her surroundings switched and his blue eyes became green and the illusion broke, leaving her gasping for breath.

Hayama Kotarõ, the man she had been spending her lonely nights with for the last few weeks, took over and a pang of longing added to the sickness forming in her stomach. Her body tensed as her mind screamed, begging for her to break free and flee — to stop fighting the truth with more mental pain, to embrace her feelings and halt the constant assaults to her bleeding heart.

Her inner contradiction could be seen in her glistening eyes, but it didn't stop Hayama from taking her. She welcomed his roughness, trying to dive into the pleasure having him moving inside her warm depths never truly brought; but she needed the distraction, even if it was in the form of pain.

However, something was different that morning. Perhaps, having taken Aria with her to the club for the first time had affected her in a way she hadn't expected; a short argument she couldn't blame on her had led her good friend to speaking her mind about what she did. Her brutal honesty had been just as shocking, but the amount of alcohol swimming in her blood hadn't allowed Kaiya to think them through.

As her mind awoke from that state of inebriation, Kaiya felt her stomach churn again as her words echoed in her head.

"At least I've accepted my feelings and pain! But you keep hiding from your affliction, giving into temporary distractions and stomping on your heart. Until you have the guts to admit you're a fucking mess, you will keep hurting. Say that after everything, you still love and want that piece of trash that broke you."

Feeling his legs slid against her, demanding yet enjoying her sudden resistance, Kaiya mustered the courage to listen to what her heart kept screaming.

You don't want this, or him. Stop this self-destruction!

And what was she supposed to do? Stop fighting and drown in depression, become a broken doll unable to get out of that hole of consuming emotions?

"Where are you going?" Hayama asked in a lazy voice when she stood from the bed and started searching in the dark for something to cover her exhausted body with.

Not turning to look at him, Kaiya put on some clothes without a second thought and ran a hand through her dishevelled hair. "I'm going to have breakfast and get the reek of sex off. You're going to get dressed and be gone before I'm back."

A chuckle escaped him as the man gave her a look that screamed arousal. "You could freeze Hell, doll."

Ignoring him, the woman walked out and stepped around the trail of clothes that led to the living room and disappeared inside the bathroom. As she took a look in the mirror, she paused and frowned. Her make-up was smeared, her hair a mess. Her eyes trailed down her face to find a mark of teeth on her neck, and Kaiya swore under her breath — she had no intention to keep traces of his savage actions on herself.

Aria would worry if she kept showing up with wounds.

"Scratch that, she's already worried and hates his guts," she muttered as she used a wet cloth to get rid of the blood.

Satisfied and not noticing it kept coming out, Kaiya avoided her troubled gaze and walked out. The smell of fried eggs slipped inside her nostrils and she hummed in appreciation as she found Aria in the kitchen, back towards her.

Yawning, she croaked, "Make me some while you're at it."

By the snarky reply she received from Aria, it was evident the woman was still in a bad mood. Kaiya had caught glimpses of her drinking away her feelings from the dance floor, and her assumptions had been confirmed then; it was no her scene, and instead of losing herself like Kaiya did, she had become extremely grumpy.

The front door opened as Kaiya leaned over her back to take a peek at the food, but as Kise's voice flooded in the room, she was distracted by the unexpected sight of Hayama walking out of her room wearing her panties. She didn't realize Aria had frozen in place in front of her, shielding her from the wandering gaze of someone who wasn't supposed to be in Japan — much less in their house.

Hayama planted a kiss on the wound on her neck, drawing an annoyed grimace on her face. While she welcomed his presence during the night and under the influence of alcohol and the need to distract her mind, she was never one to drag it into the morning. And right now, Kaiya just wanted to be left alone with her troubled thoughts.

"You didn't have to, rookie," he sang while stealing some of Aria's breakfast. "You're not so bad once you lighten up a little, doll."

Momentarily taken aback by the fact that Aria hadn't told him off — she hadn't even reacted to his taunting words —, Kaiya gave her a confused look that she didn't return as she kept her eyes on the front door. For an instant, Kaiya followed her gaze to find Kise in her line of vision, and her frustration spiked.

"Oi, Hayama!" she called as she noticed the man walking back to her bedroom. "One last warning: get the fuck out, or I'll throw you out myself. And those were my favourite panties, asshole."

Turning around with a smirk, Hayama shrugged. "You took my boxers, sweetheart. I'd love to have them back."

Kaiya clicked her tongue in annoyance as she realized he was right, before her feelings got the worst out of her and she yanked an apron from the wall next to her and tied it around her waist. Knowing Kise was still on the door, she had no intention to be showing her ass around.

Throwing the boxers at his smug face, Hayama caught them and whistled. "How about a date?"

"No," she replied curtly, but he just chuckled.

His green eyes flicked past her, and a smug grin formed on his face. "She's so hot when she's a mess, don't you think?"

Expecting Kise to reply something rude and tell him off, she was caught off guard when footsteps approached and stopped right behind her. Her heart stopped, her hair stood on end as his chest rumbled against her back and the man she couldn't seem to move from spoke up.

"I think she told you to fuck off. As I thought, your dick is just as small as your brain, seeing how you're able to fit it in that thong."

Was her mind playing tricks to her again? There was no mistake though; it was him, the reason of her broken heart. His voice was just like she remembered it: deep, husky and with a hint of danger beneath a mask of irritation.

"I could tell you about all the places I've fit it in today, Aomine Daiki."

As Hayama spoke, he sent a wink in Kaiya's direction. But the woman was long gone; her mind trying to comprehend the current situation, trying to process the fact that Aomine Daiki was standing right behind her.

She had yet to turn around and face him, had yet to meet his blue eyes. But her heart was beating too fast, her lungs couldn't get enough air, and her mind was falling. She was unaware of the conversation between the two men, as her ears had blocked out everything that moment his husky voice had reached to stir her emotions like only he could. And damn, Kaiya couldn't move. She was paralyzed, stuck in the middle of a hurricane as her emotions screamed and galloped around her.

Why was he there?

Why had he come back?

Hadn't he had enough of breaking her?

"Kaiya."

Tears rimmed her eyes as a sudden wave of longing squeezed her heart.

"Kaiya."

No, he didn't have the right to come back, to call her name with such intensity and repressed emotions. He had lost that right a long time ago, when he had stomped on her feelings and dumped her. As that day rushed to her mind like a warning call, she gasped as pain shook her heart.

"Shut up," she choked as her throat tightened.

Feeling his warmth reaching out, she stepped away and exchanged a quick glance with Aria. The latter nodded, understanding what she needed — time alone, for everyone to stop demanding her attention.

"You have a lot to explain, Ryõta," Kaiya hissed without looking at him, keeping her eyes on the floor to hide everything that was going on inside.

Expecting Kise to stay put and give her the space she needed, she was surprised when the man strolled over and grabbed her by the arm to turn her around. He hadn't come for her, as he had been staring at Aria ever since he had stepped inside. However, she could see the wheels turning in his head as he frowned at her in disappointment.

"You have a lot to explain too! You dragged Aria to some club full of grabby, dangerous men like your fuckboy over there!"

Snatching her wrist, she let her angry, betrayed heart control her actions and she pushed him away.

"Not everything is about you, arrogant bastard! Take a look around you and snap out of your bubble of self-love; maybe you'll notice just how much of a dick you're being!" she snapped before shaking her head and whispering to herself, "How dare you bring him here, Ryõta..."

Avoiding his blue gaze, she picked up her shattered heart and disappeared in the bathroom.