Mitch РОАжчзвыха

I stood by idly and watched Jerome brutally murder skeletons.
I would help, but, y'know, flammable stone n' stuff...
Jerome hacked through bone so quick that Betty was a blur, still wearing his blank expression as usual. Oh Jerome. The poor skeletons didn't even really have time to react.
"MITCH," Adam whispered, but he was Adam, so it was more like a screech of a majestic eagle.
"Well sweet mother teresa on the hood of mercedes benz, what?" I asked.
"Uh...mother-tuh-what?" Jason asked. We ignored him.
Adam frowned. "Can you, like, untie us?"
I grinned. "Sure!"
I looked over at Jerome, who was still fighting the army of withers singlehandedly with Betty and not breaking a sweat.
"Jerome, go untie everyone."
Jerome didn't seem to hear me. He was too busy chopping skulls.
"Ugh, do I have to do everything myself..." I muttered, flicking a fireball at a skeleton and soon setting the entire hoard of dry skeleton bones on fire like a forest.
Jerome glanced over at me. "Thanks Mitch for finally doing something I can now free our friends."
"GOD JEROME DON'T BE SO SMUG ABOUT YOUR VICTORY-" Ty yelled, but broke out into a terrible coughing, hacking, echking fit before he could hate everyone.
Jerome untied everyone, and they all ran out of the room, probably to go murder some more stuff.
I went to leave, but a chest caught my eye. Flammable things always catch my eye. Because I like to think to myself, 'I can burn that.' and 'I can burn these.' and 'I can burn him.' and 'I can burn Jason's boat.'
I walked over to the chest and after five minutes of trying to remember how to open it, I finally was able to get the lid open and look inside.
"Wow! This chest is such very conveniently filled to the brim with nothing but super healing potions!" I exclaimed, but no one was there, so I wasn't really exclaiming to anyone...
I grabbed all the potions and put them in my inventory, and saw something else in the chest too.
It looked like...hm, one of those things smart people use, with paper and fancy symbols inside, then they do that fancy thing with their eyes, I think it's called reading.
I knew what this was...it was a short word, it started with a b.
Hm...Bacc? Bæ? Boat? Bodil? No- it was a bra.
I'm sure of it.
Wait, no. It was a book, right?
No. A bra.
No. A book.
No. A bra.
No. A book.
No. Both.
I took the bra book and caught up with everyone else. They were trying to escape this cave place.
Suddenly, Ty dramatically collapsed on the ground dramatically.
"Oh no, Ty's hurt..." Adam said, with not much care.
"Why didn't he ever tell us?" Ian asked.
"If only someone had some kind of healing remedy of healing to help heal Ty of his wounds that must be healed with that healing remedy of healing," Adam sighed.
"Yes, what a shame." Jerome said.
We stood there for a while.
"Oh wait! I remember! I have something that can help Ty!" I exclaimed.
"Then do it! Ty's dying!" Jason exclaimed.
I had just the thing for Ty. I was so smart for getting it from the chest.
I threw the bra book at Ty's face.
He only yelled and swore a lot.
"I'm out of ideas," I admitted.
"Mitch, I can see a healing potion in your hand," Jason stated.
I looked down. "So that's what that was! I thought it was Pepto Bismol."
I took the bottle and threw it at Ty's face.
"THAT'S NOT A SPLASH POTION YOU IDIOT! I HATE EVERYONE!" Ty screamed after I threw the glass bottle at his face.
"So Ty are you okay?" Ian asked.
"No," Ty said irritatedly, rising to his feet and putting a hand in the wall for support.
"Great! So Mitch, what's that book?" Ian asked.
"Oh, so it is a book!" I said.
"Hey, maybe it can help us get out of Minecraft somehow?" Jason asked. "Like an extremely convenient guide on how to get back to real life?"
Adam glanced at the book "No, the title's just Coma."
"Ugh, I hate everyone," Ty growled.