Garrett ignored the looks from students passing and wiped his eyes. Feeling sorry for himself wasn't going to bring Spencer back. Neither was having a meltdown in the middle of campus.

Collecting himself, he drew in a breath and entered the library. He almost wished he hadn't because Harmony and her group of friends stood in the marbled entrance. He wanted to turn and run, but before he could, her heart-shaped face lit up as she locked eyes on him.

"Garrett," she greeted, breaking away from the group. He recognized a few of them. They were power players on campus, each a queen bee in their own right and they weren't hiding the fact that they were eavesdropping. Harmony looked up through her lashes and gave him a playful frown. "You've been avoiding me."

He shifted uncomfortably, trying not to stare at the cream-colored skin bared in her apricot laced top. It hugged her curves, skimming the swells of her breasts and tapering to her waist. "Just busy," he said, which seemed to be his go-to answer for everything.

Amused, Harmony replied, "You're a freshman. You don't know busy." Inching closer, she shifted her tote bag letting her strawberry blonde hair cascade over a shoulder in effortless waves. The subtle invitation wasn't lost on him, but he didn't feel tempted in the slightest. His blood, it seemed, only boiled for one person.

He shifted on his heels, putting distance between them. "Chalk it up to acclimating to higher learning," he replied lightly, easing the rejection with a self-deprecating smile.

Her shoulders stiffened, but her tone was smooth as she asked, "Have you started your essay yet for Professor Fraser's class?"

He thought of the blank Word document open on his laptop. "Still at the research phase."

"Same, but I'm lucky. I got my hands on a copy of that book he recommended."

"How'd you manage that?" All the copies had been checked out of the library weeks ago, and the waiting list was three months long.

"Professor Fraser's TA is in my sorority. I'd be happy to lend it to you."

The impish wink she sent Garrett reminded him of the first time they met at the start of the school year. He'd been late for art history class. Greg, in a drunken stupor, had accidentally torn out Garrett's alarm o'clock from the wall. He'd woken in a panic, and dashed across campus, barely making it in time for Professor Fraser's closing remarks. Every seat had been filled, so he quietly lowered himself on a step in the back. A girl at the desk closest to him caught his eye, winked, and then handed him her copy of the class syllabus. Attached was a note explaining he could have it as long as he gave it back next class. It'd been the start of a friendship. Or at least, that's what he thought. She had other things on her mind.

But despite his lack of interest, he couldn't let her offer go. The book would cut his research time in half. "That'd be great," he told her. If he pushed his other work back, he could read the book and return to her by the end of the week.

Her lips lifted in a feline smirk. "Awesome! We can study it together. When are you free?"

He silently cursed himself. Trapped like a rat sussing out cheese. "Um—well..."

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" She pulled out her phone and brought up the calendar. He was amazed and slightly scared, of her meticulously planned and color coordinated schedule. "I have a meeting at three, but it should end by four."

Was his shirt getting tighter or was it the rope tightening around his neck? "Baseball practice," he spat out in a rush. "I, uh, have baseball practice."

"When does it end? We could meet for dinner and then head to the library."

Shit. He had to be the only male on campus who didn't enjoy getting hit on by Harmony Breeland. He sputtered to find a plausible excuse, but before he could, one of the girls with Harmony spoke up. He recognized her as Gus' on-and-off girlfriend. "They're usually done by six."

"Perfect," Harmony beamed. "Let's meet at that little cafe by the lake."

A recipe for disaster. The cafe was known for sultry music and dark corners with private booths. However, as much as he didn't crave Harmony, he didn't want to hurt her either. "I-I can't. I'm-uh, I'm taking meditation classes," he said, quickly coming up with an excuse.

His announcement was met with surprise. "I didn't know the college had meditation classes."

The back of his neck heated with embarrassment. "It's for baseball. Helps me concentrate when I'm out on the field."

A frown marred her smooth skin. "Never thought about meditation before. You should try yoga. That's what I do."

Before she could suggest another time to meet, he said, "I better go. I have a backpack full of books that need studying."

"Then come sit with us. One of our friends reserved a table."

Her offer threw him. Why was Harmony insistent on pursuing him? After all, Garrett was only a freshman. Typically, college girls didn't date younger guys, and there wasn't a shortage of popular upperclassmen who'd give their left nut to call Harmony theirs. Garrett wasn't sure how to refuse without sounding like a jackass, so he said the only thing that came to mind. "I'm studying with a friend. Actually, they're waiting for me right now."

Her eyes narrowed as disappointment colored her voice. "Okay. Catch you later then."

As Garrett jogged down the steps to the computer labs, he wondered if Harmony's interest in him had to do with control. If Harmony dated Garrett, he'd be known as Harmony's freshman. But if Harmony dated someone like Jordan, for example, she'd be known as Jordan's. Could it be that simple? Or was there something more he wasn't seeing?

Garrett found a table in the back facing the computers, but before he could open a book, he caught sight of Gus with his on-and-off girlfriend, which meant Harmony was close by. He watched as the girl whispered something in Gus' ear making Gus frown. What was that about?

Not wanting to get caught, Garrett gathered his things and ducked behind a row of shelves. He zigged zagged his way through the maze of books getting lost along the way. The library was the biggest in the state and had once been used as a rehabilitation hospital for World War II veterans.

At one point, Garrett found himself in a long hallway of doors. All of them were closed except for a door slightly ajar at the very end. Curious, he stepped inside. There were rows of bookshelves and display cases, each showing off ancient scrolls and texts. His nose itched as he explored, the musty room bigger than it appeared.

He spied a long cherry wood table in the back that could fit at least twenty people. Jackpot. He hurried over but stopped in his tracks when he saw a hooded figure sitting at one end surrounded by a blockade of books. Should he leave? But what if he ran into Harmony?

The idea alone compelled him to slip into a seat on the opposite end. He noted the other person didn't so much as twitch. He thought it weird but spotted white earbud cords snaking out from under the hoodie. If they wanted to ignore him, that was fine by him. He had more than enough Spanish translations to keep him busy.

An hour later, Garrett set his pen down. Not only had he finished, but he'd done it in record time. To his surprise, he'd forgotten about the other person, unusual since the tiniest sound distracted him. The person's hood was still in place, but he guessed his partner was a girl because of the way the sweater hung off her body. He leaned over to get a better look and almost toppled over his chair.

Arianne.

What was she doing here? Did she recognize him? His pulse spiked at the thought of her knowing it was him. Maybe he hadn't been a bumbling idiot at meditation like he thought, but then he remembered his abruptness at the end. She'd been a beacon of confusion and hurt.

No, she couldn't be there for him, he concluded. It had to be a meeting of chance and wasn't that a kick in the face? He never saw her when he actively searched, but now that he was trying to stay away, she was everywhere. Maybe this was the universe's way of testing his willpower. He hadn't been strong enough for Spencer, but he would be for Arianne.

His resolve didn't last ten minutes. He had to see her. Had to get a look. From his angle, Garrett couldn't see her face, but he could see her hands which were fiddling with the ends of her hair. She had long, slender fingers and short nails which were painted bright fuschia. She wore the same silver ring she'd had at the lake, except this time it was accompanied with several other rings, though none as big or clunky.

Suddenly, she let out a little sigh that sounded so forlorn it made his chest ache. It wouldn't hurt to talk to her, right? He didn't even have to speak. He could write her a note. Something to cheer her up. Make her feel less alone. But what to write?

Hey, how's it going?

He scratched it out. Too basic.

You come down here a lot?

Sounded trite especially when he wanted to take her mind off whatever was bothering her. He thought back to their first encounter, and suddenly, he knew exactly what to say.

You never told me—what's my color? -Garrett

He folded the note till it was a small triangle, then flicked it over the wall of books. He bit back a grin when she gave a startled yelp. It didn't take long for a crumpled piece of paper to be lodged at his head.

Your ability to show up at the most random times is impressive. -Arianne

Thank you. Why the Wall of China? I won't invade your lands. Promise. ;) -Garrett

He crumpled it into a ball and lobbed it over.

Maybe you should concentrate more on your lands and less on coveting mine. -Arianne

Perhaps your land offers something mine doesn't. -Garrett

Like a philosophy book? You can have it. Otherwise, it's pretty flat and dreary here. -Arianne

Definitely not flat OR dreary from where I'm sitting. -Garrett

His heart pounded in his chest as he tossed it. Fuck. Less than ten minutes and he was already flirting.

If you're talking about my "mounds" I should warn you they're not up for grabs. -Arianne

A bark of laughter left his lips. She surprised him at every turn.

We could trade. I'll bring the nuts. -Garrett

But who'll bring the meat? Yours look a little... -Arianne

A little what?! I'll have you know there's nothing wrong with my...meat. -Garrett

Arianne coughed several times which sounded suspiciously like laughter. She scooted her chair back and let her hood drop revealing twin braids that hung over her shoulders. Her almond-shaped eyes narrowed behind her glasses with mocking anger. "I'm trying to study, you know."

"So am I."

She brandished the crumpled note between two fingers. "Really?"

"I'm taking a break. Conjugating verbs can only stimulate the brain so far."

She sniffed, looking high and mighty except for the small smirk she couldn't quite contain. "Then must you not be doing it properly. I find conjugating practically euphoric."

Her dry answer and teasing lips was a punch to the gut. Suddenly, the distance between them felt like miles, not feet, and a need so vicious it curled his toes, rose up and tore through him. Stunned, he gripped the edge of his seat.

At his silence, she said, "I guess you don't agree."

He tried to come up with something witty, but he was left grappling like a fish out of water. This was a girl who knew who she was, and was unapologetic about it. And fuck, if that wasn't a huge turn on. He couldn't help but compare her to Harmony who was silly and frilly. No, that was unfair to Harmony. She wasn't silly per say, but she wasn't weighed down by the realities of the world, and that made her seem naive. Arianne, on the other hand, had those rose-colored glasses ripped off a long time ago.

Garrett realized she was looking at him strangely. Oh right, she was waiting for him to say something. "How long have you known about this place? I stumbled into it by accident." If he hadn't been watching her so closely, he would have missed her shoulders relaxing. It made him feel better to know she was nervous too.

"Since the first week of college. It's quiet."

And she liked her quiet, Garrett concluded. But was it because she needed it to study or because she wanted to hide? "I get why. It takes a map just to find it."

"Not if you were listening during the library tour at orientation."

He turned sheepish. "I think I zoned out after the first fifteen minutes."

"Most people did." Her nose scrunched. "Hey, are you gonna be here for much longer?"

Garrett's heart dropped. "Trying to get rid of me already?"

"I want to get some coffee. Would you mind watching my things?"

Relieved, he teased, "I don't know. What's in it for me?"

"I could get you a cup," she offered.

He thought of all the coffee he had today. It was better not to chance his ulcer flaring up. "I'm okay, but I could go for a muffin or something." He pulled out his wallet and tossed her a couple of bills, but she tossed it right back.

"My treat." Arianne stood up, and Garrett grinned at her choice of clothing. She wore black leggings under dark navy shorts and black motorcycle boots with knee-high socks. She should have looked ridiculous, but instead, she looked like a character out of a video game, especially with that "I don't give a fuck" attitude.

Arianne eyed him suspiciously as his grin grew. He schooled his expression into a bland look and said, "Better hurry. The coffee shop closes in ten minutes." After she left, he was tempted to go through her bag but thought it was too much of an invasion of privacy even for him. Instead, he moved his stuff close and occupied his time rearranging her wall of books, so there was a window giving him a straight shot of her.

When Arianne returned, she immediately noticed the hole but didn't say anything as she set a chocolate chip muffin and bear claw in front of him. "I didn't know what you liked."

"This is perfect," he replied, savoring the brief brush of her arm as she passed.

Arianne sat at the opposite end of the table and pulled a bagel and a tub of cream cheese out of a brown paper bag. As she started spreading the cream cheese, she asked, "What are you studying for?"

"What am I not studying for would be the better question. I feel like all the professors got together over winter break and decided they hadn't fucked us up enough."

"I know," she sighed, taking a bite, a dash of cream cheese stuck to her bottom lip. "I thought last semester was bad, but it's nothing compared to this."

"What classes are you taking?" As they discussed their course load, his forced himself to not stare at her lips, but he nearly stumbled over his words as her tongue darted out and licked away the cream cheese. God, what was this female doing to him? She was driving him crazy.

He hadn't realized he said the last part out loud until Arianne asked, "Who's driving you crazy?"

Brain scrambling, he said, "My Spanish professor. She assigns us at least a couple hours of work a day."

"That's nothing. You should meet my English lit professor." Eyes bright, Arianne launched into a story about goats and a three-fingered professor who had knitting addiction. As they laughed together, Garrett couldn't help but notice his satisfaction at seeing her happy instead of sighing in defeat. It felt good to do something right for once.

"What?" she asked, a worry in her voice that had him inching to soothe. "Do I have something in my teeth?"

"It's nothing."

"Aw come on. Don't shut down on me now. What is it?"

"You don't look sad anymore," he blurted out. Garrett regretted his words when her easygoing smile disappeared behind a mask. "I mean not that you don't look sad, more like you sounded...uh, sad." Crap. That hadn't come out the way he wanted.

Arianne's spine stiffened. "I sounded sad?"

He could feel her defenses shoring up, kicking him off whatever ladder he'd managed to climb. "It's just that before you looked like you had a lot on your mind. I know what that feels like. I have a lot on my mind too." He was rambling, but since she wasn't telling him to shut up, he kept going. "Honestly, I was having a pretty crappy night until now." Until you.

Her skepticism showed, but the edge in her voice was gone. "I know all about having crap nights. They're the worst."

He wondered if they had to do with the baggage she claimed to have when he accidentally spilled about his therapist. "Is that why you jumped off that bridge? Because of a crap night?"

She stilled. "Is that why you were running on that bridge? Because of a crap night?"

Touché. He wanted to evade the question as she did, but something compelled him to answer truthfully. "Yes."

Her flinch of surprise upset him. They might not be friends, but he assumed they shared more than empty words. And the fact that she didn't feel the same way pained him. "Was I not supposed to admit that?" he asked, weariness stamped into his soul. He felt he'd been to the end of the world and back with nothing in his pocket except pounds of regret and misery.

Suddenly, the floodgate of emotion opened and everything he'd been holding back dumped on his shoulders. It hurt. He hurt. Every day he fibbed and gave half-truths to his friends, his family, and hell, even himself. It chipped away at him, and he needed it to stop because fighting with himself was slowing corroding everything he was. He wanted someone to understand that pain. To understand him.

"You want the truth?" he asked, his chest tightening with what he was about to reveal. "I lie. I pretend to be something I'm not, and it's exhausting."

His anxiety spiked when she lowered her black lashes, hiding her thoughts. Had he misspoken? Trusted the wrong person? But then she said, "Lying has its purpose. Until it doesn't, but it takes a toll. Anyone would be tired." Everything inside of him eased, and he felt a thousand pounds lighter. He knew she would get it. She added, "The problem is the longer you lie, the more you believe in them."

"Yeah, but how do you stop and not get buried alive?" Because every time Garrett contemplated about being honest, an avalanche of truths landed on him.

She fiddled with her braids, brushing the ends across her upper lip like a feather duster. "I don't know. Guess it depends on what lies you believe in."

"That I'm okay. That I'm actually getting through the day."

"Those are lies everyone tells."

"Even you?" he asked.

Her lips curled. "I know I'm not okay. I don't have to fool myself on that." But she was fooling herself on something else? The admission struck him as hard and cynical.

Pressing her lips together, Arianne rested her head on the back of the chair and stared at the ceiling, still fiddling with her hair. "Have you ever been so desperate for something you'd give up everything? Your pride. Your self-respect. Break every promise you made to yourself just for a chance of something?"

"Every day." Garrett would get down on his knees and beg for another minute with his brother.

"Me too and it pisses me off. I don't want to feel this way."

"Why do you then?"

She glanced at him. His breath caught at the sheer amount of yearning. "Because no matter how many lies I tell, the past will always be there."

A truth his brother couldn't live with. "I guess that's the price we pay for breathing."

"Hell of a price."

"Yeah," he echoed, thinking of dripping blood and pale skin. "Hell of a price."

"We're quite a pair, aren't we? Eighteen and already damaged."

"Speak for yourself. I'm nineteen." She let out a low laugh, and he felt something warm unfurl in his belly. He did that. He made her laugh, and it felt incredible. "So where are you from?"

She dropped her braids and sat up. "A little town in the middle of nowhere Arizona. How 'bout you?"

"A little town in the middle of nowhere Illinois."

"You came to Eason to get away too?"

"You bet," he said, thinking of his mom. "It was either come here or suffocate at home."

"Over-involved parents?"

"Super over-involved."

"Let me guess..." Putting her elbows on the table, she rested her chin on her hands and studied him with a keen intellect. It reminded him of how his therapist viewed him. Usually, after he admitted some deep seeded truth. Arianne pursed her lips. "Good looking. Pitcher of the baseball team. Outgoing. Yeah, I can see it. Golden boy of the town. Am I right?"

"Our football team sucked," he answered modestly, though his heart quickened a few beats when she mentioned his looks.

She snorted. "Ours did too, but that didn't stop hordes of people from attending."

"Does your town have enough people to have a horde?"

A shadow darted over her features. "Barely."

There was a story there. Garrett would bet anything. But he sensed Arianne's skittishness and decided to steer clear of the topic. For now. "My turn," he said.

"You don't have to," she quickly replied.

"I definitely do." He enjoyed watching her squirm. "Popular, but not the rah-rah cheerleader type of popular. More like..." He tried to picture in her high school. Younger, probably had glasses then too, but still mature, an old soul. He had a feeling she came out of the womb that way.

"More like what?" she asked.

He imagined her the night on the bridge. There was an ethereal quality to her. An aura that intrigued but also kept her just out of reach. Unattainable even. But not cold. No, never that. She had too much sweetness, too much warmth. "You're the princess type. People are drawn to you."

Her nose scrunched. "Princess? Yeah, I don't think so."

"Bet your parents would agree with me."

The blood drained out of her face, and Garrett knew he'd said the wrong thing. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring up a bad subject."

She schooled her expression so well, no one would have thought she'd just been ghost white, but she gave herself away as her foot tapped nervously like a butterfly. "You don't need to apologize."

"I keep saying the wrong things to you."

She refused to meet his eyes, preferring to look over his shoulder and stare at a bronze statue. "My parents are a touchy subject. I don't like talking about them." She tried to hide it, but there was a wealth of emotion in that statement. Most surprising was the anger.

Suddenly, she stood and started packing her books. Garrett reached across the table and laid his hand on hers. He couldn't help but think about how silky she felt. How good it would be to stroke, nibble, and kiss. Get your head out of the gutter, Delko. "Don't go. I won't bring them up again."

"It's late." She pulled away, her skin gliding under his.

"Sit. We won't talk. Let's just study. I need to finish this anyways."

He could feel her wavering. "Promise?" she asked.

He promised as he gave her his most charming smile, the one that had gotten him out of trouble more than a few times, and after some deliberation, she sat.

They worked in silence after that, neither daring to say a word in case it broke their tentative treaty, and that was okay with Garrett. He was confused himself. For so long, he kept his distance from Arianne, assured that he was doing the right thing. But he had to wonder—was it wrong to be with a person who made him forget? Who made him feel whole again?