"You need to tell Coach," Marcus urged. He sat rigidly on the park bench, occasionally twitching like his whole body was locked in an internal civil war.

Stephan, pacing a few feet away, cut through the air with his arms. "You can't. He could deny the whole thing and who would Coach believe? A newbie or a guy who's been on his team for four years?"

Marcus shook his head. "Coach isn't stupid. When he sees how serious we are, he'll believe. And if he doesn't, we'll get Harmony to tell him the truth."

"I don't think that will work," Arianne piped in. She sat next to Garrett on the grass, her arms behind her and her legs stretched out in front. "It'll be like pulling teeth to get her to talk."

"So then what do we do?" Marcus asked, frustration coating every word. "We can't let Gus get away with this."

"What about Jordan?" Arianne asked. Garrett was momentarily distracted as she wiggled her sandals off and crossed her ankles. Such cute fucking toes. The nails were painted a neon pink with white polka dots. "Isn't he the captain of your team? If you can't go to your coach to fix a problem, shouldn't you be able to go to your leader?"

"He's Gus' roommate," Stephan pointed out. "He'd take Gus' side. Plus, he picks on Garrett all the time. He'd do anything to spite him."

Arianne looked doubtful. "Jordan isn't that petty or small-minded."

Stephan's pace grew quicker as he geared up to argue, but Garrett stepped in. "She's right. We had him all wrong." Garrett filled them in on his talks with Jordan, glossing over the more delicate topics like Arianne.

"Why didn't you tell us this?" Stephan asked. The tension that had plagued their friendship returned in spades.

Garrett plucked blades of grass, rolling them between his fingers as he studiously avoided their gazes. He'd been thinking about this ever since his talk with Jordan, and he realized a couple of things. "It wasn't a conscious decision. In my mind, I built up this image that if I let people in, they'd take the place of my brother."

He allowed Arianne in because he viewed her in a romantic way, so their relationship wasn't a threat to his brother's. His friends, on the other hand, and even his teammates were a completely different story. Their bond could replace what he used to have with Spencer so he'd protected his memories and kept himself apart. Of course, it was categorically untrue, but in his fucked up thought process, it made sense.

"Deep down, I know nothing could replace my relationship with him, but here," he rapped his knuckles against his head, "is a different matter." Arianne squeezed his shoulder in silent understanding. He laid a hand over hers and sent her a grateful smile. "I can't promise that I won't be a selfish ass again because I probably will, but I'm trying."

Life, he was learning, was a process. A person didn't get to the promised land and then live happily ever after. It took continual work, and compromise, and self-evaluating. The guilt he felt over Spencer wasn't going to vanish. It would be something he struggled with for the rest of his life, and that was okay as long as he didn't bury his feelings, so they festered like a wound.

"We get it," Stephan remarked. "Well, I mean not really because I've never gone through anything like you have, but I understand why you would feel this way. I wish you would...I don't know, not wait till things blew up to tell us the truth."

Marcus gave a firm nod. "Same. It's like we're always playing catch up."

His stomach ached as guilt poured into him, but before he could wallow, Arianne smacked his chest. "Stop," she whispered "Going there won't do you any good."

"Like harping on your STD does you good?" he whispered back.

A crooked smile. "Touche."

He ran a thumb over her cheek, feeling a tug in his chest like a string tied around his heart. How had he gotten so lucky to find someone who understands him even in his darkest moments?

"Are we in a Hallmark movie?" Stephan murmured to Marcus. "Because I feel like we are."

Marcus let out an exasperated noise. "I don't even know what that means."

"Never mind. So what are we going to do about Gus?" Stephan looked at Arianne and Garrett. "Have we come to an agreement yet?"

Garrett volleyed the question to Arianne. "Gus and Harmony affected you the most. You decide what you want me to do."

She drew her knees up and rested her arms on them. "I think you should talk to Jordan first. See what he has to say and then go from there. I want Gus and Harmony to pay, but at the same time, what will it accomplish? I can't go back in time and unsend that email."

"You can get revenge." After his brother's funeral, Garrett had hunted down Matty Patinkin and Lincoln Stamford and beat them until his knuckles turned bloody. It didn't bring Spencer back but it sure as hell felt great to put his hands on those assholes.

Arianne's eyes turned downcast as she twisted her fingers together. "Revenge only leads to more pain. Haven't we endured enough?"

He took her hands in his and kissed the backs. "If not revenge, then you should at least get justice. You deserve that much."

She withdrew her hands and clasped them in front of her, her thumbs fiddling with each other. "I'm tired of it all. I want it to go away, but I know it won't." She glanced away. "Maybe I'm the one that should leave."

A cloud of panic descended. "You can't leave. What about all your classes?"

"I wouldn't leave right this second, but I could request a transfer to a different college next year. Preferably one where no one knows who I am."

"But...which colleges? Would you even stay in California?" And why was this the first time he was hearing about her plans? Had he meant so little she didn't deem him worthy of sharing life-altering plans?

Her eyes darted to Marcus and Stephan who were doing a piss poor job of pretending they weren't eavesdropping. "I don't know. I don't have it all figured out yet, but it's something that's been on my mind."

"And you're just telling me about this now?"

Her chin jutted out as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "You don't own me. This is my life. I can decide whatever I want."

He took a moment to calm down. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm feeling a bit blindsided."

"It's only an idea," she replied, her cheeks pink. "Nothing's concrete. And it wouldn't change anything between us. We could still be, you know, together."

Maybe but how long would it last? Long distance was hard enough without both of their emotional baggage piled on.

She leaned into him, her eyes pleading for him to understand. "This isn't about you, Garrett, or even us. It's the gossip and the hate I feel every time I step outside of my dorm."

"I get it. I do because I lived through that hell with my brother but what happens if someone finds out at your new school? Would you transfer again and again and again? Where would it stop?"

Her eyebrows furrowed as she glanced down. He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head. "Don't go. We can weather this storm together."

Indecision warred in her eyes, so he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. If it has been a hard, angry kiss, she would have pushed him away, but this kiss was gentle. Understanding. Affectionate. He wanted it to penetrate her heart and break through the pain shored inside.

"Garrett," she whispered, fisting his shirt.

He kissed her again, holding nothing back. He wanted her to know how special she was to him. "I know it's selfish, but I want you to stay here with me. Eason wouldn't be Eason without you."

"You'd get over it," she said, still clinging onto him.

"I think you and I both know it wouldn't be that easy."

She dropped her forehead to his chest. "You're right, but my reason to stay can't be for a guy."

"Don't stay for me. Stay for you." He brushed her silky hair back over her shoulder. "Show them, hell, show yourself, you're stronger than those stupid rumors. And in the meantime, if you need someone to lean on, I'm here."

"I want that. I do. I just don't know how to let it all go."

"I'm not an expert, by any means, but I know it doesn't happen all at once. And it can't happen if you run away." He rubbed her back, massaging the knots of tension. "Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to stand there and take life's punches."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" she asked.

"Something like that. It's not always about winning, but surviving. When you can go through the lowest lows, and come out on the other end, you know you can do just about anything. That's a good feeling." He kept rubbing her back, feeling her body slowly melt into his as she released the stress.

"And you're right you can't stay for me because, to be happy, you have to find it in yourself." He gave a short laugh as he realized something.

Arianne lifted her head, her eyes slightly dazed. "What is it?"

"My therapist asked me a question a couple of weeks ago, and I found my answer." He'd been consumed with finding his safe haven, he never considered the problem was him. He kept picturing a hole in his life, and if he could plug it with something like the pitching mound or Arianne, the bad memories and feelings would stop leaking out, and everything would be fine. However, instead of trying to plug it with something or someone, he should be filling it with himself—using those bad memories and feelings to create new ones.

Arianne and the pitching mound weren't his safe haven anymore.

He was.

***

It didn't take very long for Garrett to get a hold of Jordan. As he explained the situation, he felt himself sweating, scared Jordan wouldn't believe him, but it was quite the opposite.

Curses exploded out of Jordan like a cannon as he slammed his fist against the chain-link fence surrounding the baseball field. "I knew something was going on. I knew it." Another furious punch rattling the metal chains. "He was acting strange, especially after he found out about my shoulder. And then he told me he wanted to step up and be more of a leader. That he was going to take you under his wing. That motherfucker."

Relief hit Garrett, but anger quickly followed. "Take me under his wing?" The only time Gus talked to him was about B-Bash. Looking back, Garrett realized he'd been fishing for information. "What do we do now? He can't get away with this."

"For starters, you're going to play the hell out of tomorrow's game. So help me god, if I found out you've lost on purpose, Delko..."

Garrett straightened his shoulders, his chest puffed out. "Not going to happen. We're going to win that game and go to regionals." He wouldn't allow any other outcome because not only would his teammates be disappointed, but he would as well, and he was tired of letting himself down or looking for a way out. He wanted to stand on top of that pitching mound with pride.

"Good. Now let's go find Coach. He needs to know what's been going on."

Garrett was happy to hear Jordan was on his side but was it a good idea to tell Coach? He didn't want to become known as a snitch. "What do you think Coach will do?"

Jordan rubbed the back of his neck. "Your guess is as good as mine."

Garrett had zero compassion for Gus, but Gus was Jordan's friend. "Are you sure you want to do this? You are roommates. It will make things awkward."

"Things are going to be awkward either way. He put our team in jeopardy, and that's unacceptable."

If Garrett didn't already like Jordan, he would now. That type of attitude was what separated the mediocre players from the legendary. Of course, it was easier for Jordan to say when he wasn't sitting on the bench for four years. "To be fair, I don't know if he's involved with the hacker. That could be my roommate's shady friend."

"It doesn't matter. He broke the cardinal rule—team first. A good player would set aside his ego and do what's best for the game, and that's you on the pitcher's mound. I don't care that he's a senior. He's been playing long enough to know better." Jordan led him off the field and to Coach's office. "What does Arianne say about all this?"

"She says it's up to us. The damage to her reputation has already been done. Not much we can do."

"I don't know about that. I have a couple of ideas." Jordan knocked on Coach's door and poked his head inside. "Do you have a couple of minutes? We need to discuss a serious matter."

"Who's we?" Coach asked. Jordan opened the door farther, revealing Garrett. Coach glanced between them and sighed. "This doesn't look good."

Jordan and Garrett settled into the chairs opposite of Coach's desk, and for the third time that day, he explained the strange events of the past couple of weeks, leaving out the part about Harmony cheating. By the time he finished, Coach's expression was thunderous. Garrett had only seen that look one other time, and it was aimed at another team when they used dirty tricks like stepping on Eli's feet with their cleats to win a game.

"Thank you for informing me," Coach said, standing up. Jordan and Garrett followed suit, and he showed them to the door. "I'll take care of it. And please don't share this with anyone else."

Garrett walked out of the office feeling confused. "So what is he going to do?"

"Like he said, he'll take care of it."

"Yeah, but what does that mean?"

"I know you've only known Coach for less than a year, but trust me when I say he'll do the right thing. Why do you think I came here? I could have gone to schools like Yale, Stanford, or USC, but I chose Eason because of that man. He wants to win, yes, but he'll only do it through honorable means."

Garrett's phone vibrated with a text from a number he didn't recognize.

Unknown: I need to talk to you.

Garrett: Who is this?

Unknown: It's Harmony.

Garrett: We have nothing to talk about.

Unknown: Can we meet? Please.

Garrett: Definitely not.

Unknown: Please. I'm begging you.

Garrett: What you did was horrible.

Unknown: You think I don't know that? I've been sick to my stomach about what happened to Arianne. I had no idea it would blow up like this.

She had no idea? Either she lived a completely sheltered life, or she knew and didn't care.

Unknown: Please don't tell anyone about Gus. If he finds out I told, he'll let the administration know the truth I could get kicked out of college. I'm a month away from graduating. Please. This would be a black mark against me. I'd have trouble getting into another college or even finding a decent job.

Garrett felt a pang of sympathy. That was rough, but she shouldn't have cheated on an exam, to begin with, and more importantly, it wasn't his job to protect her reputation.

Garrett: Sorry but I already told Coach and Jordan. Gus will know soon enough.

"Everything okay?" Jordan asked. He gave Jordan a tight smile and nodded, which didn't convince Jordan. "Where's your head at for tomorrow's game?"

The question made his stomach turn. So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Would it affect his ability to play? "I'm not sure," he replied honestly.

Jordan motioned to the empty field behind the locker rooms. "Do you want to practice for a while?"

"Do you mind?" Garrett asked, thinking of Jordan's shoulder.

"Not at all. Let's get you game-day ready, Saint. Plus, we can go over what you're going to do about Arianne."