Chapter ten of colors: Molded
Take the worst in me and create something better.
The past define us, it makes us better.
But if my past destroys me, trust me.
I'll find a way to make myself a new beginning.

Jasper's POV:
A long time ago, nothing appealed to me. I was the loner kid (*cough cough* I still *cough* am). My family wasn't the greatest, a neither was my social life.
They were practically best friends!
That's not funny...
It kinda is...
ANYWAYS!
When I came out as gay and or bisexual, hell, even bi-curious, they flipped their shit. Before, life was peaches and creame to me, to everyone, it was so nice. I sometimes miss the days when my dad actually liked me, and my siblings hasn't replaced me. They all turned their back on me and left me for dead, they just didn't give a shit. I had one time, tried to use Jackie, as a fake girlfriend after confessing to her that I was one: very gay and two: my parents hated me and my sexuality.
It was as if my sexuality was all they saw, they didn't see their soon that they had raised. So when I brought Jackie over, they thought they I had finally converted from my satanic ways, and even offered to by me cake and ice cream to celebrate.
Jackasses right?
I could see Jackie restraining herself from strangling them where they stood. She told me after that altercation, she never wanted to see my parents ever again, unless they had a change of heart.
HA! That's never ever gonna happen.
I had wanted the lie to go on, but my sibling, Ben, just had to go an tell father and mother dearest.
My dad, on the very night, came into my room, and beat the ever living shit out of me. I was left bloody and bruised on my cabin wood floor. He had busted my nose, cut me in multiple places, cracked two of my ribs, and messed up my ankle. I couldnt move, I was in shock. I was hoping that my mother or my siblings would come and find me, help me. But they didn't, nobody cared. So I dragged myself up, and reached for my phone so I could call Jackie. When she got to my cabin, she almost stormed out to go and beat up my entire family. She took me to the hospital and fit the bill. She wanted to go to police for everything, but I begged her not to.
No, I fucking hate pain, as well as my family.
But if I went, my dad could've went an cancelled everything, denied everything, because he's a lawyer, and my mom was a cop, or an investigator. So either way, no matter who I blamed, I was virtually screwed, so I had to let it go.
Ever since then, I had been on my toes, trying to stay under the radar and out of the line of sight of my father and of my family in general. My dad is notoriously known for being the man able to convince anyone to do anything. So I didn't want him calling my extremely muscular and homophobic cousin's, or my gossiping grandparents. Word travelled fast on both sides of my family, and I would rather not be subjected to the hell of my sexuality.
Me and Jackie hung out more, to keep me away from home, her family was okay with sexuality, so I had no issue spending the night or hanging out with her. They were like the family I never had; they brought me birthday presents when my parents refused to, they got me school supplies when my parents didn't care to, they acknowledged my existence when my parents didn't even see me as a human, but as a sinful sexuality besides straight.
I went through dark times, for a certain portion of freshmen year. From a few violent mishaps with my dad, to a few first dates go on wrong. I've managed to skate by, but these things drove home hard, shutting me down, and drowning me. I shut myself away in a tunnel of misery and self loathing, feeling better sinking then floating. The dark oblivion that was my subconscious told me fight back, everything would fix itself's.
But life had given me lemons, and someone poured them into the veins in my heart.
I had come so close, to giving myself to myself, letting me, and only me, end it all. But then I realised something...
That if I did that, they would win. They would've finally gotten ride of the mistake, the molded piece of bread in their loaf, they would've helped end me. They win.
I couldn't do it, looking at the perfectly crafted noose hanging from the spinning fan on my roof; over the railing of the cliff edge, down at the razor blade right next to me heart line, faulted and cracked, scratched and bruised, but defiantly not unrepairable.
So I threw away the noose, I walked away from the edge, and sewed my heart line back together. I wanted to try again at what I thought was a foolish existence. I started to see the beautiful simplicity in the misery of my life. I longed for beauty of nothing and found extravagant purchases. I wasn't alone in the long haul, I had myself along the way.
Everything...is...okay...
Beeep! Beeep! Beeep!
I opened my eyes, glancing around the cabin, laying in my canopy bed, looking at the ceiling.
I turned my head to left and was greated with the smile of an angel, my boyfriend, Caleb.
"Come on, it's time to get ready for school".
Time sure does fly when you're having fun, but it also flies when the gets away from you, in a hurry to help create you new beginning.
I had zoned out, so he started to place kisses all over my face. I laugh and pushed his face away from me.
"Ew peasant! Morning breathe! Hisss"
He rolled his eyes, and leaned away from me.
"Bitch, you got morning breathe too" and he leaned in and kissed me, his touch gentle and sweet.
I smiled into the kiss, my hands going around his neck. We pulled away, going back into the world, our eyes connected and staring back each other, adoration in each.
Damn, I was falling hard.
But for a moldy slice, people never thought I tasted so good.
And I am fully ready to fall...

Again.

Heyyo! Captain cookie here!
So I had not been feeling well these past couple of days, so sorry about the absence. But I'm back now, and has you can see, so are they! It's been a couple of months passed on between them, so summer if over, and school has started back up.
What will happen?
Who did Jasper originally fall for?
What happened in his past?
All shall be revealed in due time...
But till then!
I hope everyone is having a good day or a good night!
And with that,
~Captain cookie out~