Not gonna lie... I put off this chapter for a long, long time. We're closing in, people! 

Don't forget to comment and vote!! 

Huffing and puffing, I'm a sweaty mess when I come back from my run. It was a good one, this time. I'm almost feeling better about Harry's temper tantrum from earlier and I haven't thought about my dad once. 

It's definitely an improvement.

However, when I swing open the apartment door, I freeze. An entire audience is crowded in my living room, staring back at me with startled eyes.

And by audience, I mean Louis, Niall, Liam, Zayn, Drew, Audrey, and a very disturbed Harry. 

The whole ass band plus groupies.

The heat from my body immediately disappears. It feels like I've been doused with iced cold water. They're all here and looking at me like they're about to deliver bad news. 

Oh no...

"What's going on?" I warily step into the living room. Based on the somber faces, nothing good can come out of this. The boys being here only adds to my stress. I didn't even know whether they were still in the country! If they came especially for me, it must be bad news. No sane person would travel continents for no reason.

Well...

Audrey's the first to speak. "Have a seat, babe," she says as she pats the empty spot next to her. I immediately pop down, fully aware of the sets of eyes following my every move.

"Actually," Louis interjects, sending me a hesitant look. "I think this is more of a private conversation."

My heart pounds against my ribcage. I wish I could say it's from overexerting myself from the run but it's definitely not.  What makes it worse that everyone nods in agreement.

"You're scaring me," I say in a lighthearted attempt for them to break out into grins and tell me they're kidding.

They don't. 

Harry reaches for my hand but I stand up, rushing to my room. The last thing I want is a reason to stall. Not to mention, I'm still a tad upset about earlier. He follows in my footsteps, trailing a little too close to comfort. 

Look, I've had a long day. All I want is my bed.

Unfortunately for me, Harry claims it. He pats the vacant spot next to him but I childishly cross my arms and stand. He sighs. 

Good. It's the least he gets for breaking his stupid hand and leaving in suspense like this. 

When it's clear he isn't making the first move, I do. "What's going on? Why is everyone here?"

"So, you remember your favorite person in the world?" he starts, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Off the bat, I can't tell who he's talking about. 

I wait for him to continue.

"Trina," he answers. "Well, I just found out some information. Her management is suing us for violation of contract unless we continue the charade."

I furrow my brows. "But you're paying her, right? I thought that was the new deal? Either way, I'm sure you can afford the settlement," I say, not understanding where he's going.

"It's more complicated than that. The whole purpose of the contract was publicity. She doesn't want our money. In fact, Tom was telling me that the whole point of this lawsuit is to defame me. They don't like that I've backed out and they think they can make a good case not only about the contract, but other false accusations. They want to drag my name through the mud and file several charges against me."

"...And they'll believe her because she's freaking Trina Star," I finish. The realization hits me and my stomach drops. Holy shit. Holy shit! Harry's going to be slandered, ruined even. "So what now?"

"I have to finish our arrangement or else they'll take me to court."

My knees weaken. I begin to pace around, afraid that if I stop, I'll collapse. "Okay, I knew she was a bitch, but this? This is a whole new level of low."

"Babe, that's not even the worst part," he quietly adds. I give him a bewildered look. What could be worse than this? "She isn't aware that this is an arrangement."

I freeze and lean against the wall for support, suddenly feeling like the air's been sucked out of me. "What!" I yell. "So, you're telling me, that she has no idea this whole thing is fake? It's all real for her?"

The last thing I see is Harry sympathetically nodding. My vision blurs and I fall to the ground, a pair of strong arms grabbing me before I hit the floor.

~~~

When I come to, I see a familiar sight. Four heads, eight eyes, peering down at me as if I'm some injured bird on the brink of death.

With a jolt, I sit up. The boys have a quick instinct, moving backward before I headbutt any of them. 

Dread settles into my stomach. Louis, Niall, Zayn, and Liam are all here. That dreaded revelation I had earlier was not a nightmare. It's reality. My reality. 

From out of the corner, Audrey walks up to the bed. She looks just as exhausted as I feel. We've had a long, long day.

Ugh. The longest.

As if her best friend instinct told her to, she climbs into bed with me. The boys take the hint and disperse from the room. I'm grateful for the alone time. My head settles on Audrey's bony shoulder. The comfort her presence provides is astounding. 

"Trina Star will be the death of me," I huff. My hands twitch to grab one of my pillows and smother myself with it. I can't kill myself in Audrey's apartment though, the property value would go down. 

"I know," she agrees. "She won't stay away."

"Why is this so complicated?" I hit my head against the headboard. It doesn't hurt as much as I expected. 

Audrey sighs before her lips quirk into a minuscule smile. "I think God said that you can't have Harry Styles as your soulmate and an easy life."

I giggle, despite the hollowness that's threatening to overwhelm me. "That, or I'm cursed by all his fans who are jealous of me."

"Oh yeah, they're so jealous of a girl who doesn't exist to them," she says sarcastically. I playfully smack her arm before sighing.

"Well, Trina can be the aim of their bad luck now." Much to my horror, my voice cracks. Before I know it, wetness begins compiling behind my eyes. I clamp my lids shut.

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not-

"Ellie," Audrey whispers so gently that the dam breaks. Tears begin streaming down my face. The weight of today settles in as my body physically slumps. 

I'm exhausted. 

Exhausted and slightly devastated. 

"Is he here?" I ask through sniffles. God, I'm pathetic. What am I even crying over? 

She shakes her head, soothingly rubbing my arm. "He wanted to give you some space." 

"So where is he then?"

She shrugs, not dignifying me with an answer. We sit in silence for a bit. My tears eventually run dry and at that point I remember I've come from a run.

"I'm gonna shower." I get out of bed, still a little lightheaded. My legs feel like jello but I drag myself to the bathroom anyway. 

Surprisingly, a fresh set of tears spring out of my eyes. The water from the shower mingles with the salty streams, giving me the illusion that I'm not crying over something as silly as this.

But we both know that's not true.

I want to rip my hair out, truly. Why does this always happen? Why do things always screw up right when they're perfect? It happened with my dad, with Drew, and even with Harry countless times. How many more times can I survive this without damaging my heart?

When I drag myself out of the shower, my room's empty. After clicking the lock, I walk my towel-clad body to my closet.

My heart drops. Like, down to my feet. Maybe even lower. It sure feels like it's gone to the depths of hell.

Whatever clothes Harry had in here are gone. Only a few t-shirts are left, probably for me to sleep in. Other than that, his bags and clothes are gone. 

The familiar waterworks start up again as I collapse on the floor. This time they're thick and snotty. 

It's over. It's really over.

Harry's leaving me for Trina Star.

Suddenly all my insecurities rush back to me. When we had first gotten together, I knew I wouldn't fit into his world. It was foolish of me to think that then, and it's foolish of me to think of that now. 

I'll never fit in. I'll never be truly his.

The realization fully hits me then. I'll never be his. 

With newfound angst toward the world, I tug on the closest clothes I can lay my hands on and grab a bag. With every t-shirt I angrily shove into the tote, a small piece of my heart breaks off. 

This has to be done.

Once all of Harry's shirts are clear, I march into the kitchen with determination. "Where is he?" I ask the boys lounging around. They all straighten from the malice in my voice.

"The same hotel as last time," Zayn answers, earning dirty looks from his bandmates. 

I nod in acknowledgment and scan the room. "I need a ride."

Everyone with cars hops to their feet, ready to take me where ever I need to go. A minuscule part of my heart warms. They all care for me so much.

"Drew," I gesture at him to take me. He's the only one who can calm me down now. Plus he's considered neutral, which might come in handy. I'm on the brink of homicide and self-sabotage. He's the only one who can save me now. Or bail me out of jail. We'll see. 

He nods and Audrey hesitates. He assures her that I'm in good hands and she reluctantly lets me go, not like she exactly has a say in the matter.

Throughout the car ride, I tightly hug the bag to my chest. My leg anxiously bounces. I attempt to keep my gaze out the window but I can feel Drew's eyes occasionally glance at me.

He finally breaks. "El... what are you doing?" 

He knows what I'm doing. He knows me too well. 

I glance up at him, keeping my face impassive. Should I tell him? He'll just tell me that I'm making a horrible decision. 

It doesn't matter though, because soon we're pulling into the extravagant hotel. It's practically filled to the brim with rich people and their fancy cars being valeted into the lot. 

"I'm gonna be fine... um, you can wait inside or whatever. If you want, you can leave and I can Uber." I don't really sound convincing. Hell, I'm not convinced either. I desperately need him to stay, even if I can't tell him that.

He follows me into the posh lobby, barely stopping to marvel at the exorbitant decor like I did my first time visiting. As ridiculous as it is, I feel like everyone's silently judging me. Could I blame them? I'm a hot mess.

"I'll be waiting inside," he smiles warmly and reassuringly squeezes my hand. I nod and hold my breath as I wait for the elevator. Drew sees that I make it inside safely, then disappears somewhere. Just knowing he'll be in the building with me sends warmth to the pit of my stomach.

I can do this.

I make my way to Harry's room, which is surprisingly easy to access. Shouldn't he have higher security? What if someone robs him? What if someone-

Calm down, Ellie. 

My fist meets the wood of the door three times to be exact. My ears strain to hear any noise from the opposite side. Either the walls are very thick or he's not here.

My gut sinks when an eternity passes. Right as I'm about to chicken out, the door swings open to reveal an irate Harry. Not only that, but his clothes are rumpled and dark circles accompany his eyes. It's crazy to believe I saw him only hours ago.

Relief spreads through his face when he realizes I'm the unexpected visitor. I'm about to scold him for not checking his peephole when the wind is knocked out of me. I'm crushed into his chest with him pulling me back into the privacy of his room. 

I hold my breath until he lets go.

Before I can break, I shove the bag in his direction. "I brought back some of your stuff." 

He slowly takes it, his smile faltering before dropping completely. "Oh, I kept these for you to have. I just thought that since I can't be there with you, you'd like to sleep with my shirts."

"I know."

His brows furrow in confusion before dropping. Realization slowly begins to dawn in those emerald eyes of his. "Wait... what?"

I inhale as much air as I can before bracing myself. "It's over."

Right away he turns assuring, as if I'm not breaking up with him. "El, this whole thing with Trina, it's temporary. Just a couple of months. Nothing's happening to us."

"Something is happening though. I'm dumping you." I bite back a wince at the frost in my tone. Surprisingly, I feel like I'm the one being dumped, when that's hardly the case. But, I know Harry. He won't let go unless I give him a reason to.

And I need him to.

He boldly takes a step forward, although his head is tilted in confusion. My eyes follow as his hand slowly reaches up and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "What are you doing?"

The gesture makes my heart flutter, but I remind myself to not fall back into our vicious cycle. "I need you to leave me alone. We're done. It's over."

I turn to leave, as quickly as I can in this suffocating room, but his grip is tight, even with one hand. He pulls me in for an intense kiss. Electricity jolts through my body as his lips touch mine. He pulls me in closer with a certain urgency. I let myself has this one joy. This is the last time I'm kissing him, the last time I'll ever feel this spark. Nothing and no one can ever compare to the way he makes me feel. 

It might be the soulmate bond but it grew to so much more.

Ellie! Bad!

I eventually pull away and pry out of his grip. He doesn't let me go easily, grabbing my waist from behind before I can escape. His body is flush behind me, his warmth radiating off his skin. His heavy breathing ricochets off my ear. 

"Let me go," I sigh. He's making this much harder than it needs to me. 

His lips meet my neck and my knees weaken. I unintentionally cock my head to the side so he has better access. I feel a brief smirk on my skin before he sucks on my soft spot. I can't help but moan out of pleasure. 

Damn me and my easy succumbing to seducing!

"You cannot tell me you're just leaving," he whispers darkly in my ear. A shudder racks through my body. 

My voice waivers and I hate myself for it. "I am."

"Give me one reason," he murmurs against my skin before planting wet kisses from the bottom of my ear to my jaw. He loosens his grip just enough for me to turn in his arms and face him. 

I take a deep breath, composing myself to the best of my abilities. This is it. One final blow and it'll be over. I think out my next words very carefully. "You're suffocating me. Everything about you is so exhausting and I'm tired of it. I need a fucking break from you."

Ouch.

He takes a step back, hurt written all over his face. My brain is screaming at me to take my words back, to fall on my knees and apologize for hurting him, but I can't. 

It isn't true. Every word I've said to him a lie. He isn't suffocating. If anything, he's like a warm blanket enveloping me whenever I'm in need of comfort. Just being with him makes me feel free, calm, happy. Being without him is the suffocating part. 

The damage is done.

From the bewilderment on his face, I can tell he didn't expect that. Hell, I didn't expect it either. He takes another step back, as if he's remembering my words again.

I take this moment to turn on my heel and walk out of his room. I don't glance back as my soulmate crumbles to the ground. I can't bear to see it nor can I let him see the tears floating in my eyes. 

As soon as the door shuts behind me, my knees feel weak. I lean against the wall and slide down until my butt touches the floor. The tears fall freely and don't stop. I silently sob into my arms. I probably look like a maniac but I'm too distracted by the stab in my chest to really care.

It hurts.

My breath comes out in heaves and I find myself gasping for air. It feels like claws are wrapped around my throat, squeezing every molecule of air out of my body.

What have I done? 

Oh my god, what have I done?! 

"Ellie?" Drew's voice calls from somewhere. He runs up to me and holds me close, as if this is routine for him. I cry in his arms, wishing he was someone else. 

And then I cry harder when I realize I have no right to have such thoughts anymore.

For once, pushing Harry away wasn't selfish. It may seem so at first, but it's not.

He needs to date Trina, he has no choice. He can't fake it like before, because she thinks it's real. What happens when she goes to kiss him or even have sex? Harry can only deny her for so long before it gets suspicious. If he gets caught violating the contract, Trina will be so furious that she'll hit him back ten times harder. She'll feel betrayed, and a hurt woman knows no bounds.

Even if I did justify myself, he wouldn't accept it. I know he'd rather walk to streets as an accused rapist than lose me. That's the problem. He's sacrificed himself so much for me, it's not fair. He doesn't deserve this.

This time, I'm sacrificing myself.

He needs to put all his effort into her and their relationship, and making him hate me is the only way.

I wouldn't be able to stand him kissing her behind closed doors. I wouldn't be able to handle the fact that it should be me and not her.

Maybe it is selfish. 

I don't remember the ride home. Or even getting up from the hallway floor. 

I do remember telling the boys to leave though. They're clueless to the recent events, but they're bound to figure it out soon. I can't stand to have them here right now, no matter how supportive they are. Everything reminds me of him, even them. Especially them. 

They leave after Audrey and Drew reassure them I'm being taken care of. Drew even mentions they should check in on Harry. I think that's what gives them the hint. They all leave without saying goodbye and I'm glad. I can't stand to see their faces when they know. I'm not ready for the looks of betrayal.

I've experienced a fair share of hurt. I've always self-sabotaged myself and my relationship with Harry. But this pain is by far the worst.

I think deep down, I always knew we'd bounce back. We'd make it out stronger from all the fights. I knew he'd fight for me.

But what I've done this time is irreversible.

Since I was young, I thought the soulmate bond was unbreakable. Recently, everything's proven it's not. Gemma can't be with whoever her soulmate is. Zayn had one and fucked up so badly, she's gone.

No matter the relationship, what I did was dumb. I sacrificed my own relationship for fucking Trina Star.

Well, I did it for Harry, but I hate that she's involved.

I don't think we'll ever recover from this.

My phone starts blowing up right after I banish the boys away. Curled up in my comforters, my heart drops. Harry's calling me nonstop, leaving tons of voicemails and messages. For a second, I have a flicker of hope. He'll fight for me.

Then I remember he shouldn't and all hope is gone. He can't. I need to be selfless. 

I turn my phone off for the rest of the day.

After a while, the calls stop coming. I crave to hear his voice but I don't dare listen to the voicemails. I know I'll crumble if I do, and I'm not ready for that.

He still sends me good morning texts.

~~~

After a week has passed, I change my phone number. Only Audrey, Drew, and my family have it. They're the essentials - people who won't rat me out to Harry. 

People won't let me crawl back to him.

Everyone's concerned about me. I've asked the boys to stop coming over. They're hurt about it, but I know they'll tell him everything. He can't know I'm miserable. It'll give him a false sense of hope.

Plus, I don't want them to pick sides. It's not fair to them to be the middlemen. I don't want them to feel like it's me or him, so I'll pick for them. I don't deserve them anyway. They were always too good for me. It's good if they get away from me for a while. 

I finally decide to tell Lily. I know she'll be pissed and won't understand my reasoning, but she needs to hear it from me. She's a child, after all. She doesn't know how harsh reality can be. How cruel fate can be. 

When I show up at my mom's house looking miserable, she knows. She pulls me into a hug, regardless of our previous drama. Everything else is forgotten. She's there for me as my sister. 

As time moves on, I move out of the apartment and back home. Drew decides to move in with Audrey and I couldn't be happier for them. They both truly deserve everything good. But I can't stand watching them get the happy ending I thought I'd have. As happy as I am, I'd be a downer around them. I'm not the most optimistic about relationships. Besides, I should spend some quality time with my mom and sister before college.

"Hey, honey," my mom greets me as I eat cereal in the kitchen. She has no idea why I'm sad. To her knowledge, it was a bad breakup with a boyfriend.

She doesn't know about Harry, or the fact that I even have a soulmate. I've never told her because I'm afraid it would hurt her; her daughter living the life she never had. I'd rather not shove it in her face.

"Hi," I mumble only to be polite. 

She pours herself a cup of coffee and gives me a kiss on the head as she leaves for work. Once she's gone, I start crying all over again.

I've been crying a lot. Way too much. Everything feels like it's crumbling in the palm of my hands.

Lily is nice enough to not ask questions. I'm sure she's heard about him and Trina and put the pieces together. It's not that hard to figure out.

Audrey tells me that the boys have been showing up at the apartment. They eventually tire of not seeing me and go home, which is good.

I don't keep track of Harry, no matter how easy it is. I delete my Twitter, which is only another form of communication we had. Yet, I can't resist skimming over our old messages one last time. I smile at our old DMs. After stubbornly sending him away on his tour, I'd finally caved and DMed him on twitter, allowing him to take me on a date. It was the beginning of it all. 

That timeline seems like years ago, when it wasn't even the span of a whole year.

We haven't even been together for a whole year. Why do I feel like I'm being crushed from the inside out?

I delete my account and the app from my phone. I try not to see any updates of him that I might come across. Even Lily doesn't obsess over him like she used to, at least not in front of me. I appreciate it more than she'll ever know. 

After doing the dishes, I decide to update someone.

Me: Life update: heartbroken and moved out, so I won't be stopping by any time soon. I'll visit you b4 I leave for UF.

Noah the beautiful barista: :( I'll miss u but thanks for keeping me updated FOR ONCE. I wish u the best in life and I better see your ass before you leave me 4ever.

I smile at his text. He's the only person who hasn't pitied with me. Granted, he doesn't know the extent of the situation, but it's refreshing regardless. From what I gather, all he knows is that Harry and I aren't together, which barely scratches the surface of it. 

The days pass much faster when I work. Goodwill treats me okay, but I'm not complaining. I rather focus on something productive than sit at home and let Harry consume all my thoughts. Plus it doesn't hurt that I'm getting paid. 

Except working at a quirky thrift shop means teenagers coming in all the time. Word gets around that Harry's gone back to London with Trina. I can't help but wonder if he introduces her to his mom. What does Gemma think of her? Is he taking her everywhere he's taken me?

Is he slowly falling for her like he fell for me?

Ooooh, Ellie. You're always so dramatic, aren't you?

Do you guys understand why she did what she did? Or do you just think she's stupid lmao?