Ellie's P.O.V

I am such a big fuck up. 

Why couldn't I let myself be happy with Harry? Why did I think it would be ruined with my touch?

I've been sulking for weeks. Harry continued his tour in Europe. I saw all the news about him and the other girls. Part of me was relieved because I know Harry couldn't get it on with those girls. 

Speaking of, my life with Drew has gotten dull. It's fun but doesn't have the spark, presumably because we're not soulmates. 

I had to speak to him. Of course, I didn't have his phone number or any point of direct contact. 

I have to slide into his DMs...

I cringe as I open twitter and search his name. Of course, he's the first Harry that pops up.

Worst case scenario, he doesn't want to see me. That's okay, I dug my own grave. It doesn't hurt to try, right?

I open the message tab and begin typing. 

Me: One date.

The gray checkmark appears, indicating that my message was sent. Now the hard part, waiting.

I have to distract myself. A watched pot never boils and I can't stand to stare at the screen, waiting for him to open it.

Lily barges in and I shut my laptop before she sees the screen. 

"Do you ever knock?" I ask annoyed. She sticks her tongue out and sits on my bed.

Why do little siblings just come and sit? 

She scrolls on her phone and me on mine. 

During this time I decide to download Twitter onto my phone. That way, it'll be easier to see if he read the message.

Gosh, I'm so desperate.

I know better than to keep my hopes up. 

Coloring suddenly seems very appealing. It has never been fun during colorblindness. You could never see the result. Without thought, I grab an adult coloring book I've had and some color pencils. I begin furiously coloring.

"How would you even know if your picture looks good?" Lily peers over to my coloring book. 

I shrug, "Probably doesn't, but it'll be fun to see it when the time comes." I want to look over my old pages, but don't want Lily to be suspicious. "Can you please get out of my room you ugly gremlin," I ask, now frustrated.

She laughs and gets up to leave. When she's by the door, she flicks me off and then proceeds to not shut the door. 

Ugh! Sisters. 

Once she's way out of sight, I decide to check the old pages. 

Either I'm in a really bad state of mind or just on crack, but I start cracking up.  I mean I am literally 'LOL'ing. The colors look awful together! I mixed browns with purples, blacks, greens. It looks like puke. 

After my small mental breakdown, I head downstairs for dinner. My mom smiles when she sees me. 

"I heard you laughing earlier. I'm so glad," she pulls me into a hug.

I didn't even realize that my sadness is affecting everyone around me. My poor mom, she must have felt hopeless. 

The three of us eat dinner together and talk about random stuff. My mom avoids everything boy related, unless it has to do with Lily. I'm so grateful for that. 

Even if things with Harry and I work out, how am I supposed to handle Drew? It shouldn't be a big deal because we knew soulmates would happen. However, I lied straight through my teeth. I know he'll be hurt by that. Especially with the fact that I still play house with him, giving him false hope. 

After we clean up, I take a quick shower and head to bed. Before I sleep, I decide to check my phone one last time. Maybe he's responded.

I open the app and check my messages. The checkmark is blue, meaning he's read it. No response.

My heart sinks and I know that I fucked up.

Goodnight to me I guess. 

~~~

People say jogging is a great way to relieve stress. I decide to give it a try. I wake up before the sun and change into running gear. 

Sunrises are my favorite things ever. The colors are vibrant and it just reminds you of a fresh start. 

A fresh start is what I need.

I head downstairs quietly, trying not to wake my sister and mom. 

Running on an empty stomach is awful, so I decide to eat some breakfast first. I pour myself a glass of orange juice and make some toast with avocado smushed on top. I then lightly season it with pepper. 

I open TikTok on my phone and watch videos while I eat my breakfast. The world feels peaceful right now.

After I finish, I put my dishes in the sink and tie my sneakers. I decide against headphones because I don't want to block out the sounds of nature. 

I quietly open the door. Before I can even step outside, a tall silhouette appears in front of me. 

"Shit!" I scream. A hand covers my mouth.

"It's me," the sweet British voice sings. He lets go of my mouth.

"Harry," I whisper. Even in the darkness, I see his white teeth.

I pull him out of the doorway into the outdoors. I fumble with my keys as I try to lock the door. I'm shaking from shock.

"What- what are you doing here?" I ask. The sun is starting to rise and light begins to shine. I then notice the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

He notices and brings them up to me. "You said one date."

I begin to blush. He came. He actually came! 

His hands travel up to my cheeks and his thumb caresses the blushing part. "I've never seen a girl's cheeks get so red. It's quite cute."

I begin to blush even harder. He just chuckles. 

My heart is about to explode.

"Do you want to go on a run?" I ask, biting my lip. I notice his nice clothing and retract my question. "Nevermind, that's stupid. Uh, how about a walk?"

He smiles, grabs my free hand, and nods. I decide to take him to a nearby park. Since it's super early, the odds of anyone being here are slim. We walk in silence, but it's comforting, not awkward.

"Do you know how hard you are to find?" He asks once we find a bench. 

"Me? Oh please, you found me easily."

He scoffs. "Gosh, it was hard. It was pure coincidence that I did."

I was shocked. I thought I would be easy to find and he chose not to try.

"How did you?" I ask.

He hesitates for a minute. Now I'm very curious. 

He bites his lips and I can't look away. How can one look so hot doing a simple task? His eyes trail down to my lips. He leans in slowly, hesitant to see my response.

Do it. Kiss me.

It's my shock that I pull away. 

"You're stalling," I respond.

"It was at the ice cream shop. I recognized your sister and followed both of you home."

My eyes grow wide. I knew someone was following us that night. Lily said I was paranoid.

"I know, it's creepy. I didn't have any other way though."

I take into consideration that he knew nothing about me. "It makes sense. You need to work on your following skills."

"Listen, babe, I'm not trying to be a professional stalker." He retorts. 

I giggle. I'm smitten. He's so damn cute. 

"Tell me about yourself. I'm assuming you can google most things about me." He looks at me patiently.

"I don't even know where to begin. Uh, my name is Ellie Marsh.  I have a sister, Lily, and a mom. My sister kinda loves you. I grew up in Florida. I have a pretty boring life."

Before I can continue, he adds "that's about to change."

Those words haunt me, but I pretend that they don't. "Anyways, there's not much to me. I'm taking a gap year to work so I can save money for college. It's really fucking expensive."

His mouth forms an 'O' shape as I explain. Then we sit in silence for a minute.

"What's your favorite color?" I ask out of the blue. He seems to be deep in thought, like he hasn't thought about it ever. I continue, "mine's the sunrise."

"The sunrise? That's not a color." He responds.

I smile. "Isn't it though? A mix of those beautiful yellows and oranges and pinks. It's indescribable." 

He chuckles and nods. "I guess so. I'll have to think about mine."