"Harry, I don't think I'm comfortable doing this," I groan.

"It's fine, just try."

"But there are people around!" My voice sounds slightly whiney, but I don't care. "Besides, consent matters."

"Stop being so shy and just touch it," he grunts, annoyed at my hesitation. My eyes scan around and see multiple people out and about. 

My heart beats anxiously. "I- I can't! I'm not ready."

"Fucking shit Ellie, stop being so stubborn. Start or I will." 

Audrey snickers from behind me, enjoying my misery. 

"El, no one's watching you," Drew chimes in. "Except us, and we will judge, but that's beside the point."

Harry sends him a glare before turning back toward me. "Relax baby. This isn't your first time, right?" 

"Of course it's my first fucking time," I snap. "Have some common sense." Everyone's eyes are on me, and I know I have to make the first move. 

My hand slowly reaches for the long knob and find my fingers tightening around it. I slowly pull at it and Harry groans.

"Hurry the fuck up," he growls, his patience growing thin.

"Jeez, Harry. You make it sound like she just grabbed your dick," the blond snorts. Embarrassed, I quickly move my hand away.

"Ugh," Harry thumps his head against the headrest. "Audrey, you're setting us two steps back. If you're not going to be helpful, you can leave."

"Okay," she squeaks, knowing Harry would actually kick her out. 

"Okay," I whisper, grabbing the gearshift once again. I pull it until it reaches the 'D' and sigh. The first step is done! The car lurches forward and I begin to panic. 

"Brake!" Harry yells, making me panic even more. "Left pedal," he reminds me, and I lightly push down on the pedal. My foot was on it earlier, but the excitement of the moving car made me take it off. 

"That was good!" Drew smiles reassuringly, putting his hand on my shoulder. Harry sends another glare at our contact, but Drew doesn't seem to mind. 

"Okay baby, you're going to let go of the break now, slowly. Lightly put your foot on the gas, but don't press down too hard, okay?" 

I nod, focusing on his instructions. I lift my foot off the brake and press the gas. I push it too hard and the car violently jerks forward. I immediately pull it off, scared of the movement.

"Relax, try again, but super lightly. Once you get a feel for the acceleration, you'll know how hard to push it." Harry gives me a reassuring smile, but it makes me more nervous.

I nod and try again. This time, I slowly push down, adding more force as it's needed. Once the car is going a whopping five miles per hour, I beam.

"I'm doing it!" I cheer. My friends join in, clapping for me. 

"Okay, now put your foot back on the break and put the car in park," Harry instructs. I furrow my brow but do as he says.

"That's it?" I confirm. He nods and I roll my eyes. "I moved like five feet. Why can't I do more?"

He lets out a snort. "Babe, it took you fifteen minutes to take the car off park. We need to take baby steps."

I feel like he's crazy, but my friends nod in agreement with him. "Really guys?" I huff, disappointed. 

"He's right, girl. Besides, it's a rental and we don't want anything to happen to it. Not the best car to practice on." 

I see Audrey's point. I reluctantly take off my seatbelt and scoot out of the driver's seat. Instead of getting back in the car, I watch Harry drive back to the parking spot. I sure as hell can't park yet. 

"That went well," he smiles proudly at me as he gets out of the car. My friends follow, slamming the doors as they pile out. Harry cringes but keeps quiet.

"Maybe I can practice with Audrey," I smile. She turns around and gives me a look.

"Look, I love you and I don't doubt you're an amazing driver, but no. Not with my baby," she rejects the idea. She visibly shudders and I can only imagine she's thinking about her car getting into a wreck. 

I huff and continue back to our place. I grab a water bottle as soon as we're in and chug it. All the screaming has me parched. 

"So," I pause, taking another sip, "when are you going back?" Harry lingers in the kitchen entrance. 

He shrugs. "No idea."

I toss the empty water bottle into the recycling can. "Oh, well. Don't pause your career for me." It comes out more bitter than I intended, and I can see the hurt on his face.

"Babe," his face softens and he comes closer. His warm hands cup my cheeks. "You're worth more than anything else in my life. Even my damn job."

I regret my words and wish I could take them back. Of course, I'd never make him choose. We've had this conversation multiple times, and I just can't fathom that I'm more important than his fame.

Part of me can't comprehend the idea that he'd actually like me.

"Do you want me to leave?" His voice is laced with vulnerability. I frantically shake my head, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "Good," he sighs. "I wouldn't leave anyway." 

Just like that, our conversation is back to playful.

"Oh yeah? Then you gotta start paying rent buddy," I tease, patting his chest.

"Me?" He scoffs. "You first."

I pretend to be offended. "I pay... in other ways. I pay with my friendship. What are you bringing to the table?"

His eyes darken, and the atmosphere changes again. His hands trail down my body and stop at my waist. 

"I could think of a few ways," he smirks. My heart speeds up and my palms sweat with anticipation. I know he said he isn't ready, but the way he's acting, I don't doubt he'd take me right on his kitchen counter.

He grabs my hand and hastily guides me to my room. He closes the door behind us, making sure it doesn't slam.

His lips crash into mine and we begin to feverishly kiss. 

"Harry..." I gasp for air. "Are you sure you want to?" The last thing I want is for him to be uncomfortable. Never in a million years did I think that Harry wouldn't want to have sex and I'd have to ask.

Doubt flashes in his eyes, but it's gone in an instant. "Just because I don't want it doesn't mean I can't help repay you." 

My cheeks blush at his words and I kiss him before he notices. 

He pushes me against the bed until my legs hit it. I fall back, pulling him down with me. He stands up and pulls me further up. Without breaking eye contact, he reaches for my jeans and pulls them down. I kick them off, making sure I don't hurt him in the process. 

His soft lips leave kisses along my inner thigh. I squirm with the sensitivity. His kisses linger before he pulls down my underwear. 

I shut my eyes and anticipate the sensations. 

"Look at me," he growls. I open my eyes to see his dark eyes focused on me. He smirks and enters his fingers in, causing me to moan. I quickly cover my mouth, well aware that my friends are in the same apartment.

He pumps his fingers at a torturing rate. I beg for him to go faster. He eventually breaks eye contact and dips his face under. I close my eyes and face up, unable to handle all the sensations.

"Harry," I moan, trying to be quiet. I use one hand to cover my mouth, and the other to grab his hair. I feel his groan inside of me. 

"Fuck baby," he whispers before continuing. 

I keep trying to stifle my moans, but it proves to be difficult. 

I stiffen and remove my hand from his hair. I grip onto the sheets for my dear life and become undone. My vision blurs and I squeeze my eyes shut.

When I open them up, I see Harry intensely staring at me. 

"What?" I mumble, hiding my face with my arms. He pulls them away and sets them on my sides.

He doesn't answer my question, and just keeps staring at me. 

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do for you?" I know what his answer will be, but I try anyway.

His eyes drop to the floor. "I'm good." Fuck, I've made him uncomfortable.

"Sorry," I blurt. "I just wasn't sure..."

"It's okay," he gives me a small smile before climbing into the bed with me. 

"Do you think they heard?" I change the subject. 

He laughs. "Babe, I'm pretty sure the neighbors heard. You were so loud. Harry, Harry," he mimics my earlier moans. 

"Ugh," I groan with embarrassment. "That's so awkward."

"If they're nice, they won't say anything about it," he smirks before resting his head on the pillow. He opens his mouth to say something else, but stops himself.

"What?"

"Nothing," his face turns a slight shade of pink, which intrigues me more. I keep prodding him to tell me. "Okay, jeez. I was just thinking about how much sexier it is when you wear my shirts."

I begin to giggle at his mind.

"I know," he groans, pulling his pillow over his face. 

"No," I pull it away. "It's cute. We'll have to remember for next time," I smirk. He pulls his face toward me and gives me one last kiss.

"I'm tired." He sighs. I watch him close his eyes and within minutes, he's drifting off. 

My mind begins to wander. What's Harry and I's future like? Does he even want a future? Marriage? Kids? 

What do I want? 

I immediately shut down any concerns about the future. I'm eighteen for goodness sake. I don't need to think about those things yet. I need to focus on my education and career. As much as I hate to say it, no man has any say in my future. Harry can't dictate what I want to do with my life, just like I'd never do for him. As much as I want him in those plans with me, I know there isn't a guarantee. 

The sensation of suffocation begins. The walls feel like they're closing in. I need to get out of this room right now.

I quickly untangle myself from Harry's arms and escape out the door. I sit at the kitchen table and stare outside the window. Although it was bright and sunny this morning, rainfall looms in the distance. I can't help but think this is superstition, and something dramatic is going to happen soon. 

I shake my head to rid the dark thoughts. There's no need to think so pessimistically. It's just a simple storm. It rains in Florida all the time. 

My subconscious is pushed to the back of my mind as I watch the birds outside. They scramble from tree to tree, no doubt trying to find shelter. 

"Hey bunny," Audrey chirps, basically skipping into the kitchen. I laugh at her ridiculous nickname. "You're in a good mood. I wonder why..." She fakes contemplation.

I roll my eyes, pretending to be unaffected. The blush on my face gives me away, as I remember screaming Harry's name. I bring my head down to the table and lightly bang it. My friend's laughter fills my ears and I can't help my smile.

"You're in a good mood too," I notice. Her eyes light up and she's quick to make jokes. "What's up with that?"

She eagerly sits across from me, as if she was waiting for me to ask. "So glad you were able to notice, especially when you're always thinking about yourself," she teases. She gently places her hands on the table and leans in as if she's telling a secret. I do the opposite and lean back casually in my chair. "Things are going amazing! I don't know what you did, but he's being so much more affectionate! It's baby steps, but still! He actually talks to me now. The other day we were talking about how you..." Her excitement is cut short as she realizes what she's about to say.

"How I what?" 

She avoids my gaze and focuses on her hands. "Just how you forgave Harry so easily." Her voice is small, as if she's afraid of my reaction. 

"Oh," I sigh. I thought it was going to be something more hurtful. "I guess I did, didn't I?" A small laugh escapes my lips. At that moment, forgiving Harry seemed impossible. It felt as if I could never get passed what he did. 

"You aren't mad?" She eyes me warily. 

If she had told me this earlier, I would have been fuming. That, or self-doubt would creep in. Since I know Harry's innocent, the whole thing is in the past.

And what a fucking relief. 

I shake my head and she smiles, then continues with her conversation. "Anyway, everything's been amazing!"

I hate to be the one who brings her out of her euphoric state, but I need to. "So, did you guys actually talk?"

Her smile falters for a second. "I just told you. We talked about the most random sh-"

"You know what I mean when I say talk," I interrupt her. Her grin is no longer present, confirming my suspicion. "I know things may seem good because everything is fine, but it's not. You both need to actually talk before you get things going. Otherwise, there will always be an impending sense of doom."

She's hurt by my words. "Says you," she snorts. "I don't see you guys talking about your relationship. He just asks you to pick up your life and bam, you're running to England."

Ouch.

"We talk!" I defend. She raises her brow, challenging me. I find myself shrinking into my chair under her intense gaze. "Okay, fine. We have to talk about somethings, but it's different. For once, I feel like we're at a good point in our relationship. There's no doubts, no regrets. Only trust and love," I smile. 

Audrey's eyes widen at my words, and I realize what I just said. My face mimics hers with complete shock.

Did I just say I love Harry?

"Oh my gosh, you love him!" She draws out the 'L-word' and smirks.  

"It just slipped out," I argue.

She doesn't believe me. "My best friend's in love," she laughs, getting up and dancing around the kitchen. With the way she handles this, you'd think she was the one who just realized her feelings. 

Before I know it, she's pulling me into a hug. 

"I'm so happy for you," she whispers in my ear and gives me a tight squeeze.

I take some time to process what I just confessed. It's weird hearing the word come out of my mouth, and weirder to think it's meant for someone.