4.

I am not happy with what Indigo is proposing.

"I just need two wires and a power source. The ends would be placed at each of your temples. The voltage would be intense, but not damaging... well not overly."

I take Copper's arm, whispering to him, "Please tell me you aren't considering this?"

He looks at me, then back to Indigo, a pensive expression on his face. "It's our best shot, honestly. We need to go off the grid in order to hide from S.H.A.D.E."

"The only thing we're going to be off of is our rockers, Copper, if we let him fry our brains."

"Do you trust me?"

His question startles me. "Yes," I answer, to my surprise, without any hesitation.

His expression softens at my answer. "Good. I think this is our best option. Indigo may be useful to us."

"I have one request," Indigo speaks over our hushed voices.

Copper and I glance over to him. "And what would that be?" I say dryly.

"After I have helped you in all the ways that I can... I... want to be executed. A quick and painless death. I know I deserve far worse, but..." he twists his hat in his hands again, "but I'm a coward, it seems."

Copper and I stand in silence in the wake of his words.

My anger towards him lifts a little, seeing the remorse for the first time clearly on his face. He wanted to do good. He thought he was doing good.

Scarlet and Iris enter the apartment again, immediately sensing the gravity of the moment.

"No," I say firmly, breaking the silence and causing everyone to look at me, including a shocked Indigo. My lip feels like it will quiver, but I fight past it, continuing. "I speak for my entire Swatch now, Swatch 999, and I get to decide if and how you die. I choose to let you live." The last words hurt, like spitting out shards of glass, but I say them with conviction.

Indigo tremors, his hat all but a tight little ball in his hands now. "Will you ever forgive me?"

Ah, there it is, the anger. The memories. Violet's hair, sailing past me as she falls backwards to the floor.  Beige's body going limp, Fuisha's sobs, Al's frantic pleads for mercy. Silver's unflinching eyes, carelessly above it all. It all comes back full force.

I swallow the rage back down, I let it go up in smoke in my chest. "I don't know," I answer truthfully, "but you dying doesn't make them alive. What does it matter?"

I leave the room, going off in search of some ice for Onyx's head. I don't mean to make a scene, but I just can't be near him anymore.

Copper follows me into the kitchen, stands in the doorway as I route through the unfamiliar freezer, finding the ice tray and popping some cubes out to place into a cloth.

He doesn't say anything, and I'm grateful. It's enough that he's just there.

I wonder why. I think I know why, but there's no time for things like that.  People have died.

"Is Onyx really going to be okay?"

"I think so."

"Good." I pass the makeshift ice pack to Copper.

"Do you want to go through with his idea? I'll get it if you don't."

I let out a long, sad breath, expelling the grief from my body. I have to be a machine again, it's what's needed right now. I have to be my own Sync now, and control these emotional impulses. I look at Copper, feeling determined. "I'll do it. We need to get to your family, and this will help."

He looks relieved, and I realize that he had been banking on Indigo's plan in order to protect his family. But he was waiting for my go-ahead.

Yes, it's not all about me. I have to remember that now. Copper, Scarlet, Iris, and now Onyx too. We all have things we are fighting for.

I walk up to Copper, and maybe brazenly, take his hand in mine. "We'll keep them safe," I say to him, "don't worry."

He smiles down at me. This is the first time I've ever seen him smile, and it stirs up my emotions again.

I let go of his hand. "Get a grip," I mutter to myself, utterly failing in the first minute at this whole machine thing.

"What?" Copper grunts in confusion, following after me back into the living area with the others.

Onyx has been lifted onto the couch. He groans in pain, but his eyes flutter open, searching around the room. His stare falls on all of us, disoriented.

"Why am I not dead?" he grumbles to himself, looking almost disappointed.

Scarlet smacks him on the head, disregarding his injuries. "The hell kind of question is that?" she rages.

At her voice, Onyx's blue eyes widen at her in recognition. "Scarlet?" he says softly.

Scarlet's cheeks turn a little pink, and she doesn't seem to know what to do with her hands. "Hey," she finally responds.

Watching this happen to someone else is kind of funny, but I refrain from speaking this thought out loud.

I feel Copper's eyes on me, and wonder what he's thinking about finally meeting the real me. I run a hand through my hair and turn away from him, walking over to a chair to sit down.

I'm so tired.

Onyx and Scarlet talk for a bit, Scarlet explaining all that has happened since yesterday afternoon, why she went silent on him.

Onyx looks over to Iris, then grins back at Scarlet. "So this is the famous Iris."

Scarlet rolls her eyes, slightly embarrassed, and Iris beams happily. 

"Can we get back to business?" Scarlet says, turning her attention to Indigo. "So you think you can disable our chips, hey? What do you need?"

"I can probably make due here. Find something to use that is connected to a power source."

Onyx nods to his desktop computer.  "How about that?"

Indigo rubs his chin some, thinking it over. "The start up maybe...?"

"Worth a go," he shrugs. "And anyway, you guys, feel free to make yourselves at home. Old Indigo here has reported back, and Viridian's bit the dust. For a few hours, we have a place to call home."

I nod, thinking about nothing but a shower and a power nap.

I do just that, changing out of my beat up clothes and washing the blood and grime off my skin, the last remnants of being a Shade. Now, any blood I aquire will be of my choosing.

I both dread and look forward to that choice, thinking of menacing, deep-set eyes.

Once I am out of the shower, decked out in one of Onyx's over-sized sweat shirts and pants, Copper dabs peroxide on my leg wound, then carefully wraps it up with gauze. I wince the whole time, wishing I had those Psychic healing powers he was talking about before.

I wonder if I can use my apparent Psychic potential to help me against S.H.A.D.E.?

Finishing up my leg, Copper goes for his own shower, and I slip into Onyx's bed, already half asleep.

I only stir when I hear Copper making a place for himself on the floor. He's shirtless, only wearing sweat pants borrowed from Onyx probably.

I take this time to let my eyes wander over him. He is in good shape for a guy who only eats instant noodles 24/7. "What are you doing?" I ask drowsily.

He jumps a little, realizing I'm awake, then gives me a look. "What does it look like? I'm exhausted."

"Why don't you come up here with me?"

We both kind of pause for a second and let that sink in. I don't take it back though, and I wonder at my own boldness.

Fine. I think I like Copper.

Is it unexpected given that I hated his guts before? Is it strange, since I really don't even know him? Is it super inconvenient? Hell yeah. This is not the time for such things. But here I am anyway.

He looks at me, as if waiting for me to quickly say that it wasn't what I meant, or possibly to laugh it off and say it was a joke, but I just keep my gaze fixed steadily on him, almost like a dare.

And he takes it, abandoning whatever mess he was making on the floor and sliding in next to me.

I don't know if I'm craving comfort or I'm just pleased with myself, but I move over and lay my head on his chest, breathing in the clean scent of shampoo and body wash, feeling the cool dampness of his skin that is refreshing in the L.A. heat.

Copper is still for an instant, clearly unsure of my actions, but I feel him relax and exhale softly, his arm resting on my shoulder and head lolling close to mine, nose in my hair. 

It's easy to fall asleep like that. For the first time in a long time, I am content.

So much for being a machine.