Epilogue
Chaos. Madness. Death. Destruction. Screaming.
Though New York had been somewhat restored—there was still plenty of work to be done—that was all I could think of anymore. Between my mind trying to return to normal from Loki's control and my nightmares, recovery wasn't an easy process. For a while, I heard the noises of battle around me, especially when I was enveloped in silence.
I could never understand how soldiers did it, go into war so bravely. I had been thrown into it against my will. I was sure, like all surviving soldiers, I was like them in so many ways. Our pasts would forever haunt us, we would always be more aware of our surroundings. We would never forget what we had to do to win, to stay alive and protect others from harm.
Though I looked completely put together on the outside, inside I was a wreck. Nobody knew about my inner turmoil, not unless I trusted them enough to tell them. Todd only knew how New York had affected me, as did the Avengers. I never really kept in contact with them since Thor and Loki went back to Asgard. I didn't even visit Stark Tower, which was still in rebuilding. I regretted that, because sometimes I did want to take up Stark on his idea with my fire. One of these days, if it all became too much for me, I'd take up Pepper's offer as well to visit.
I guess that could wait another few months, when I really felt up to it.
It technically wasn't true, the whole not-keeping-in-touch-with-the-Avengers thing. Cap—Steve—and I seemed to talk the most post-war. We saw each other enough.
Those times, we never discussed what happened. We acted as though we'd known each other all of our lives. We chatted the days away like we had all the time in the world.
While Todd was off at his job, I was at one of the many outdoor cafes. Nice, bright days didn't make me happy anymore. It had been a perfectly quiet day in New York when the Chitauri had rained down from the portal. The blue sky had been smothered with smoke.
I sat back in the uncomfortable chair, a coffee cup right in front of me, the contents half gone. There was a gentle breeze in the air, and those around me—mainly the men—kept eyeing me. I paid them no mind, they weren't worth my time. Not even if they were attractive. Not that all men were pigs, but most that approached me—I could tell—simply wanted to have their way with me.
There was still an odd atmosphere in New York. The crime rate was at its lowest. We all were still trying to get back to a good level of normalcy.
I crossed my legs, massaging my temple. Headaches became more frequent since the battle. I couldn't forget about the nightmares either. Some were recaps of the war, some had alternate endings. The alternate endings often felt so real that I woke up screaming. Not only did I suffer on those nights, but Todd did as well. He was a good friend and everything, but I knew he had to grow tired of my behavior sometime; he was just putting on a brave face. I would understand if he wanted some time away from me.
My mind wandered up to Asgard. I thought about the Bifrost and if it would ever be repaired. I thought about Thor and how he was fairing. He couldn't be much better off than me. And how could I forget about Loki, the man I—
What? Still had feelings for? Still had hope in that he would return to me as the man I'd fallen in love with? How I felt about Loki would always remain complicated until the day I would feel nothing for him, if that day would ever come. I didn't want it to, he had captured my heart. He still had it, for now at least.
"Mind if I join you?"
I almost instantly replied "No" as many guys who asked me that were often looking for something that they were never going to get. But with this guy, I didn't have to do that to him. Why would I turn him down when we'd gone through a war together?
Instead of the usual handshake, I got out of my seat to hug him. I'd finally perfected how much strength I put into my embraces, the first few times I nearly cracked bones in his body. Though Steve was stronger than most humans due to experimental serum, he wasn't stronger than me. The only people who could give me a run for my money on that were back up in Asgard and Banner's "other guy".
Steve took the seat across the table. It was so normal now to see him out of his Captain America attire. If he put it on right now, it'd be weird for me.
"How'd you find me?" I asked. "Just happened to be around and noticed me?"
"Pretty much."
"We seem to run into each other a lot. Do you stalk me or something?"
"You aren't that hard to spot."
"I don't have a beacon on me, do I? There are a lot of blondes out here, Steve."
"I know it'll sound strange to you, but I can tell it's you by your body language."
"Oh?" I was kind of interested now.
"You're guarded, like you're ready to act at any moment if there's danger. Your body is really tense."
"You have too much free time, Steve. You might want to invest in a hobby."
"Destroying punching bags might not be enough anymore."
"Probably not," I agreed. "So, how've you been?"
"I could be better."
"I can say the same." I fingered my coffee cup. "You exploring the world any? Traveled anywhere?"
"Nah, I prefer to stay here."
"Seriously?"
"Why don't you go do that, travel?"
"I don't know America like you do. That doesn't sound like a bad idea, though, traveling the country with a partner." I grinned sheepishly.
"Are you trying to ask me to go on a road trip with you?"
"If you want to." I shrugged. "I mean, the Avengers aren't needed now, so why not? We'll have plenty of time for things that don't involve saving the world."
Steve chuckled. "I'll think about it."
"It must be weird for you."
"What?"
"Having only so many people know who you really are." I smiled.
"That might not be as true anymore."
"Oh, right." I'd forgotten he'd lost his mask during the Battle of New York. "Well, you haven't had obsessive mobs come after you, so I still think it's truer than you think."
"It's got to be harder for you."
"Not really. On Earth, to most, I'm nobody. I'm perfectly okay with that, I'd prefer to have my alter ego get all the attention anyway."
"Oh, and what's her name? Girl on Fire?"
I made a face. "The name doesn't fit me if anyone outside of Stark calls me that. Though, I have a lot of time on my hands, so I did think up some names. Much better than picking up on someone's body language." I snickered. "I might visit S.H.I.E.L.D. one day to see if they'll put it on my record."
"What's the name?"
I beamed. "Cynder."
"I'm guessing that's something fire related?"
"It is. I did my research."
"It does suit you," Steve said thoughtfully. "Now all you need is a costume."
"Hey, one thing at a time," I said playfully. "I won't worry about that until we're needed again." My eyes went up to the sky, spotting a sight I should have recognized for as many times as I'd been out here. "Huh. How come I never noticed that before?"
"What?"
"Stark Tower."
Steve turned around to see what I meant. Sure, Stark Tower was still under reconstruction, but the entire building wasn't what I noticed. I remembered there were letters along the building that would light up, probably looking lovely in the New York night.
Looking at it now, only one letter remained. It had to be some sort of freaky coincidence that that was the only letter that remained on the tower. I wonder if Stark will keep it that way. It'd be fitting. I personally liked the single letter on the tower. It made the tower hold a greater importance than it once did.
I felt empowered by staring at the lone "A" that hung up high on the building. It was sending a message to everyone in New York, saying whether you like it or not, the Avengers are here, and we'll do everything possible to keep you safe. In a way, it also sent a message to the people who wanted to try and create terror around the world, saying if you try something, we'll be right there to stop you.
I felt proud to have the ties that I did with the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. As long as we were around, the Earth wasn't going to fall to any evil power, whether it be from this realm or another.
Should the world be in danger, we'd be there in a heartbeat, ready to fight for it.
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