I can’t breathe.

Figuratively, of course.

No wonder the guys are complaining when they have to sleep in the bus. Because the truth is, you can't really sleep inside the car. The space is cramp. I can't even stretch my legs, even though I'm not blessed in the height department. And my back! Oh dear, it feels like someone sat on it. I can't even take a nap. How can I rest then? And how does the band spend their time travelling when they can't sleep?

KY is still not talking to me, well except for the times when he needs something which barely happens. Ever since the jacket incident, it’s as if I lost my credibility. He doesn’t even trust me anymore.

I feel miserable, yeah, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Like Lance said before, KY is KY.

And I’m still pinning over him which is stupid because I’ll just get hurt. It’s so obvious that he doesn’t like me. He acts as if I don’t exist.

Meanwhile, I become closer to Nate. He never gets tired of teasing me, especially now that we live in a closed space, our bunk beds side by side; it’s hard to ignore him. Not that I want to. I’m not crazy; Nate is hot. No, I mean, he is very good looking. I saw him shirtless before. Actually, countless of times already. He’s mostly shirtless when we’re travelling, it’s not like the bus is musty or anything. He doesn’t flaunt (he doesn’t need to) I just learned that he’s comfortable that way. His body—

Let’s just say it’s distracting.

Lance and I even had an awkward conversation about it. It’s still fresh from my mind.

“Do you like Nate?” he asked.

“No,” I answered.

“You’re always staring at him.”

“I’m not,” I denied.

“Look, about the rules—“

“Seriously, no,” I said. I’m glad that he thought it was Nate that I have a crush on, and not KY.

“We can forget that specific rule if you like him,” he continued.

“Are you kidding?”

“No,” he said. “It’s only applicable to Yves. We didn’t agree to it.”

He shouldn’t have said anything. It only made me wistful.

For the past couple of concerts, I made sure that I only go where I’m needed. I didn’t look around and just stayed with the band. It’s my job in the first place.

But today, I want to roam. The concert will not start in a couple of hours. The guys are practicing, and because the venue is big, there are more staffs than before.

I walk outside, passing the frantic crews on my way. They’re all busy with their work. I hope tonight will be a success. It’s another sold out show.

I enjoy people watching, so when I see the queuing line, I look for interesting people.

Whenever I’m observing, I always hide my staff ID. I can’t let people know that I have a backstage pass. They will try and plead that I’ll introduce them to the band. That happened the first time.  I only felt sorry for them because I couldn’t help them. I can’t let one person have a backstage pass because there’s no doubt he or she will tell his or her friends about it. Then they will all want a backstage tour. I can’t risk my job.

While walking, there’s this particular couple who catch my attention.

For one thing, usually couples go to parks or restaurants to date. Based on my experience, concert-goers are in pack, or alone. From the time I started watching live bands performing, there are only few couples during concerts.

With nothing to do, I observe them. Honestly, they look cute together. They’re about a few years older than me. The girl glances up and catches me staring at them. I turn my head away and chastise myself inwardly. I need to be discreet.

I stay outside, enjoying the weather and hearing people’s conversation about the band, and how excited they are to meet them.

I’m planning to head inside when the girl I saw earlier strikes a conversation.

“Hi,” she says, smiling at me.

“Hello,” I respond.

“Are you alone?”

“Uh, no,” I say. I don’t want to lie to her; she seems nice. “I’m with my friends.” It’s the truth; I came with my friends: Infinite Chase.

“Lucky you,” she says, “My friends aren’t interested in concerts. Fortunately my boyfriend accompanied me. I’m Dari, by the way.”

“I’m Brielle.”

Dari has this awesome auburn hair and angelic features. “My boyfriend just left to buy food. Have you eaten?”

“Not yet.”

“Do you want to stay with us while you’re waiting for your friends?”

I smile at her. She really is nice. Some stranger will not bother talking to me. There’s still faith in humanity.

“Unfortunately, I can’t,” I say. I don’t want to go away yet, but I’m afraid my time is up. I need to check up on the band. “Thanks for the company; hopefully I’ll be able to take your offer soon.”

She grins. “I hope! It was nice meeting you, Brielle.”

“The pleasure is mine, Dari,” I say enthusiastically. “Enjoy the concert!” I wave at her and make my way inside the venue.

“Where have you been?” Zeke asks as soon as I enter their dressing room.

“Outside,” I reply.

“You missed something!”

“What?”

And then he tells me.

The concert for tonight is kind of special because one of the concert-goers asked the band’s help in proposing to his girlfriend. I didn’t know this really happens in real life. I mean, I’ve watched this happened before on the internet, but they didn’t seem real even though it kind of looked genuine.

Now I’m part of the event, so I can totally assure you that this is not scripted or something. The guy really wants to propose to his girlfriend. He said he wanted to do it tonight because Infinite Chase was the reason they got together in the first place. He told the band that before, his girlfriend didn’t even acknowledge him, but the moment she saw him in the same concert of Infinite Chase three years ago, they became friends.

And that was the start of their story.

Isn’t that amazing? Who knew it could happen in real life?

The guys are ecstatic, and they’re enthusiastic in helping the guy. They made plans on when he’ll come up on stage; during one of the intervals. After he proposed, the band will play the chorus of their theme song; which is an Infinite Chase’s song.

I’m feeling giddy myself. I think it’s sweet what the guy planned to do.

“Is this the first time someone asked for your help during your show?” I ask.

“No,” Zeke answers, “usually they asked for our help during birthdays and anniversaries. Tonight’s the first time for proposal.”

“It’s cool,” Lance says. “I’m glad we’re part of their story.”

“They basically met in our concert,” Nate says, grinning. “That is awesome!”

I’m about to agree when my phone rings. Fishing it out of my pocket, I find that it’s my Mom. I swallow the lump in my throat. What will I do? I can’t take her call in front of the band. Before I change my mind, I swipe the ignore button. I’m just going to call her later. She’s been worrying about me, even though I already reassured her couple of times that I’m alright.

I forgot that one of the job descriptions of becoming a mother is worrying about her child.

“Who is that?” Nate asks.

“It was an unregistered number,” I lie.

“Why didn’t you answer it?” he asks. “It might be important.”

“Or someone is just playing a prank on me.”

I breathe a sigh of relief when he doesn’t ask more questions. At the corner of my eye, I see KY staring at me.

My heart skips a beat. Did he notice how nervous I was a while ago?

I bite my lip. I need to be careful than usual, I can’t let them know about my secret, especially him. I have no doubt he will make me leave.

An hour later, the band is up on the stage, singing their fifth song for the night, when KY suddenly says, “We have a special announcement.”

The crowd waits in anticipation. Someone even shouts, “Please don’t break up!”

“Of course not,” KY says, grinning. He turns to the side of the stage and says, “Ely, my friend, come on up here.” Then he moves to the side of the stage to let Ely have the center stage.

I gasp when I see the guy from earlier; the one with the nice girlfriend.

Don’t tell me he’s the one who’s going to propose.

The guy, Ely, joins the band on stage. He’s holding a microphone in his hand, and it’s kind of shaking.

“Thank you,” he tells KY. And then he turns to face the surprised crowd. “I asked the help of Infinite Chase tonight, and I’m grateful they agreed. I want to make this special for the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.”

The crowd must have guessed what this is all about because they cheer. I wonder what Dari is doing right now, seeing her boyfriend with the band.

I try to look for her, but there are so many people.

“Dari, please join me on stage,” Ely says.

There’s a commotion on the left side, and I realize they’re making a way for Dari to walk through. A few minutes later, she’s standing in front of Ely, looking as if she’s in a daze.

There’s a huge smile on my face as I look at the couple I first seen a few hours ago.

“You are the best person I’ve ever known,” Ely says. “You’re my best friend, and my better half. The first time I met you, I told myself that someday, I’m going to marry you.”

From what I can see, Dari is already crying. She must feel loved.

“You made me see things clearly. Without you, I will remain the same, but you taught me it’s alright to be different. I’m looking forward to every day with you. I want to spend the rest of my days with you, no matter how long or short they are.”

My attention is fixed on them, that I didn’t notice Nate beside me. “What are you doing going down the stage?” I ask incredulously.

He shrugs. “We’re not playing.”

“But you will, as soon as he finished proposing.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re no fun.”

I push him back towards the stage, and before I know it, he plants a kiss on my cheek.

That guy will be the death of me.

“Now I have a question,” Ely says. “It’s been keeping me up all night. I’m sure that it’s you, it’s always been you.” Ely takes something out of his pocket, and drops down on one knee. “Dari, will you marry me?”

Dari nods.

Ely puts the ring on her finger. The crowd cheers and clap as the couple embrace and kiss each other.

The band congratulates them, and plays the couple’s theme song.

This is better than any romantic movie I've ever watched. This is true. This is the real deal.

After the concert, we stop by a diner. Fortunately, there are only few people at this time of the night. We choose the booth on the far side. The band orders our food. We’re silent as we eat; I notice the guys’ tired expressions. They performed more songs tonight than their previous concerts.

We’re headed north. Only a couple of tours, then we’ll have a vacation.

I’ll meet Naomi in one of the upcoming shows. She made me promise that she’ll meet the band. I’m not sure what I’ll do about it, but she insisted.

After eating, we pile up in the bus.

The band goes to their beds as soon as they finish organizing their things. A few minutes later, they are all sleeping.

I smile at the sight of them.

My body feels tired, but I need to take a bath. I can’t just sleep like this because it was a long day. Besides, taking a long shower will freshen me up.

I make my way towards the bathroom, making sure I tiptoe; I don’t want to wake them with unnecessary sound.

I pass by KY’s bed.

He looks different when he’s asleep. The angry expression is replaced by a gentle one. It’s the opposite when he’s awake. I wonder why he’s always yelling at me. Did I do something to annoy him? I haven’t even seen him smile at me.

I stare at him, the distance of our faces only a few inches.

To my surprise, the bus swerves on the right, making me stumble on my feet. I almost lose my balance, but I hold on to the side of the bed before I fall down. When I look up to see why there’s something soft touching my lips, my eyes almost pop out of their sockets.

KY’s lips.

I pull away quickly.

What—

I can’t—

My thoughts are in a haywire. I can’t think properly.

KY—

Kiss—

Our lips together—

I put my hand over my mouth, still shock at what happened.

I just kissed KY.

Kyle Yves, my ultimate crush, the band leader, the vocalist of Infinite Chase.

I slap my cheek to make sure I’m not dreaming; I’m probably hallucinating from the lack of sleep.

No, it’s not a dream. It happened.

I purse my lips—

Wait, no.

No, no, no.

He’s my first kiss, and he doesn’t even know it.

You can’t think about it.

Erase, erase, erase.

Come on, Brielle, when KY finds out, he’ll kick you out.

I scramble on my feet and quickly go to the bathroom.

As soon as the water hits my body, it’s like the tension of the day leaves my shoulders. The scene earlier clouds my vision but I do my best to ignore it. I take longer than usual; I didn’t even notice the time. When I’m done, I wrap my hair in a towel and go to my little space.

The lights are off, only my bedside lamp is on so I didn’t see Nate standing beside my bunk bed until I’m beside him.

“Hey,” I say.

He turns around; his face hidden in shadows. Did he see me earlier? Did he think I stole a kiss from KY? That was an accident, I swear, I didn’t plan it.

“Why are you still awake?” I ask, trying to hide that fact that I’m nervous.

I wonder why he’s kind of distant. Is he going to tell KY about it?

“Nate,” I start, and then I see something in his hand- my cell phone. “Why are you holding my phone?”

I remain quiet as he takes a step closer to me. There’s something about his expression that bothers me. His voice is different from the way he usually talks to me when he says, “Who are you?”

*****

I hope you liked it! The song is A Boy Called Happiness by Erin K. Photo from Audrin.

Thank you for reading my story! Don’t forget to leave a comment! =)