“Elle.”

Elle?

 I turn around and see Kyle standing in front of me. “Yes?”

 “Let's talk after the concert,” he says.

 “About what?”

 He smiles. Smiles. He. Kyle smiled at me.

 Oh good Lord. He smiled at me.

 Can I capture this right now? If my brain has a memory card, I will store this moment in it.

“Hey.”

I snap out of my trance and see him watching me. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Come on, Bri. Don't lose your focus. Just because he smiled at you doesn't mean he likes you.

But he rarely smiles.

Mind, shut up. Heart, stop punching my chest. Lungs, breathe.

"Later?" he repeats. “Can I talk to you?”

I nod.

I want to respond but I can't find my tongue.

Before he walks out of the room, he says, "Get some rest."

I blink.

Those are my three new favorite—

No, no, no.

I don't like where my thoughts are headed. That's danger zone. Don't even try.

Maybe he needs help with something. Don't get too excited, you always end up disappointed.

Besides, you are moving on. You already let him go, didn’t you?

I take a deep breath and calm my nerves.

I can do it.

I take Kyle’s advice and head to the dressing room to take a nap. I didn’t sleep well last night because I was busy double checking our things for this tour.

I’m about to doze off when a loud ringing of the phone makes me jump in surprise. I search where the sound is coming from. I find it at the top of the table.

It’s Zeke’s.

The caller ID flashes: “HER” in capital letters.

Should I answer it?

Zeke is out there with the rest of the band, sound checking their instruments, and I don’t want to use his phone without his permission.

Who’s HER though? And what if it’s an emergency call?

Okay, I’ve decided. I’ll just explain it to Zeke later.

I swipe the answer button. Before I can say that Zeke’s out, the caller starts speaking.

“Hi, I just want to say have fun, and rock it! Before your concert,” HER says.

I frown. I think I’ve heard her voice before. Though it’s kind of hoarse, it’s familiar. But it’s at the back of my tongue, I can’t remember it.

“Ex—“

“I missed you so much. I can’t wait to see you again!”

“I—“

“Bye!”

I blink.

That ended too soon.

HER hungs up on me.

I didn’t even have the chance to tell her she didn’t speak to Zeke, but with me.

Once the guys finished with their practice, they return to the dressing room.

“Zeke, someone called you a while ago,” I say, handing him his phone.

“Who?” he asks.

“HER.”

He slowly puts his phone in his pocket and looks at me weirdly. “What did she say?”

“Have fun in your concert,” I relay.

“Anything else?”

I cross my arms over my chest. I don’t like the way he stares at me, like I did something wrong. “I’m sorry I didn’t have a sticky note, I didn’t get to write everything she said.”

He sighs. “Sorry about that,” he says with a shake of his head. “I’m just tired, I guess.”

“It’s okay.”

Maybe it’s her girlfriend. Or whatever. I’m not allowed to ask the band about their personal life.

“Bri,” Nate calls me from the other side of the room.

“Coming!”

I leave Zeke who is now busy tapping on his phone.

I take a seat on the sofa beside Nate. He automatically puts his arm over the armrest I’m leaning on.

Friends do this thing. I have nothing to worry about.

“Let’s eat dinner after?”

“Where?” I ask.

“Anywhere you want?” he says, smiling.

“With the guys?”

He purses his lips and turns so he’s facing me. “Can we have a friendly dinner? Just the two of us?” he says, emphasizing the word friendly.

“I guess,” I say with a shrug. “But won’t they mind if we go out without them?”

He ruffles my hair. “You’re too busy thinking of other people. Can you be selfish for once?”

I lean towards him so that when I speak, he’s the only one who can hear me. “I am selfish,” I whisper, “because I’m still pretending to be your band manager.”

“Excuse me.”

Looking up, I see Kyle towering over us.

I squirm away from Nate. I don’t want Kyle thinking that there’s something going on, especially, he saw me leaving Nate’s room a few nights ago. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.

And he said he wants to talk to me later, after the concert. Maybe before Nate and I grab dinner.

“Elle.”

“Do you need anything?” I ask. And why do you keep on calling me Elle?

“Did you bring my jacket?”

Ah, the infamous jacket. “Yes,” I answer, walking towards the closet rack to get it. I rummage through their clothes. When I find it, I give it to Kyle.

I’m planning to go back to the sofa with Nate, but he’s gone. Along with Zeke and Lance. I’m alone in the room with Kyle.

“What’s with you and Nathaniel?”

I frown at his question. Here we go again. I thought we’re finally standing on solid ground. Maybe not.

“If you think I’m breaking—“

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” he cuts me off.

I raise my eyebrow. “Why are you asking then?”

Is he jealous?

Oh, Brielle, don’t be delusional.

Kyle is incapable of feeling anything.

“I don’t know,” he says finally.

I shake my head.

Kyle is a lost cause. He can’t even understand himself.

“Okay, if you don’t need anything else. . .” I trail off.

He remains quiet.

I sigh. When I’m with him, it feels like I’m doing a monologue show. “I’ll get going—“

Kyle grabs my arm as I pass him by.

“Um.” I stare at his hand just below my elbow.

When I look at him, I’m surprise to see that his eyes are closed.

“Hey,” I say softly.

Is he sick? I reach out and put my hand on his forehead to check if he has a fever.

He flinches under my touch.

I didn’t expect to get hurt at that small gesture.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he opens his eyes.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

He nods and drops my arm. It falls to my side. “Brielle, I. . .”

“Yes?” I prompt.

“How many times did we start over?”

“Honestly?” A laugh escapes from my mouth. “I can’t remember anymore.”

“It’s my fault,” he says, sounding sheepish as he scratches the back of his neck. “I’m not making it easier for you.”

“I got used to it,” I say.

The moment the hurt flashes in his eyes, I regret what I said.

Bri, you need to filter your mouth.

“Friends?” Kyle says, raising his hand.

I stare at it, contemplating what he means.

“Friends?” he repeats, cocking his head to the side. His eyes are hiding behind his hair. He badly needs a haircut.

“Friends,” I answer, shaking his hand.

I smile at him. And for the second time this day, he smiles at me. Genuinely.

And that’s how Nate finds us, holding hands, and grinning like fools.

“Dude, we were looking for—“ he stops midsentence when he sees Kyle and me standing close, our hands clasp together. “Did I interrupt something?” he asks cautiously.

“No,” Kyle answers. “You said you were looking for me?”

“The producers want to have a meeting before the concert,” Nate says.

I try to catch his eyes, but he looks away quickly.

“Okay,” Kyle says. He turns back to me. “Let’s talk after the concert?”

I nod.

He walks out of the room, leaving me and Nate.

I clear my throat. “Hi?”

“I didn’t know you already made plans with Swift,” Nate says.

“Nate, he asked me before you—“

“You don’t need to explain,” he interrupts. “He comes first. I know. I’m your second choice.”

“That’s not fair,” I say. “Nate, don’t be like that. You’re the only one who understands me.”

“Yeah, well, I gotta go,” he says. “I still have to attend a meeting where I’m needed.”

“Nate—“

But he already pushes the door open, and he leaves without listening to my explanation.

After their meeting, they only have a few minutes before they need to play. I want to talk to Nate alone, but we don’t have time.

Before I know it, the opening band has finished playing, and the guys are walking up the stage.

The crowd scream the band’s name. They wave their banners, posters, and light sticks. Like usual, it’s a sold out concert.

I’m familiar with my task now. I seldom make mistakes. And for a band manager who doesn’t really have a background with my line of work, I have to say I’m doing a pretty good job.

My early years of fangirling and obsessing over bands, stalking their lives on the internet have done me some good.

It’s not a waste of time.

Suddenly, my phone starts vibrating. I take it from my pocket and see that it’s my mom calling.

I bite my lip.

The only choice I have is to answer it. “Hi, Mom.”

“Brielle,” my mom says.

I can barely hear her so I have to speak louder. “How are you?”

“What’s that sound?” my mom asks in a suspicious voice. “Are you in a concert?

“WHAT? NO!”

“Young lady, I told you to focus on your studies.”

I cringe at the sound of her voice. “Mom, chill.” I walk away from the stage and head to the dressing room. “It was my roommate’s radio, and it was blasting,” I lie.

See? This is one of the reasons why I can’t tell my mom what really happened. She’s a worry wart.

“Make sure you come home this Christmas.”

“I already told you, I will,” I say. “Is that the reason why you called?”

“Just making sure,” she says. “Now, go back to bed. You need a good night sleep.”

“Okay, Mom,” I say.

“Wait, isn’t Naomi your roommate?” she asks.

“Yes, Mom.” I can’t believe I slipped. “Actually, it’s from our neighbor’s.”

“Tell them to shut it down.”

“I will. I’ll see you soon. Don’t worry about me too much.”

She sighs. “As far as I know, worrying is in the mom’s job description.”

I smile. “I miss you, Mom.”

“I miss you too,” she says. “Don’t forget to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.”

“Okay,” I say. I need to go back to work. “Bye, Mom!”

When I get back to my place, the band is on their fourth song for the night.

I love my job. It doesn’t feel work because I’m having too much fun. It’s any fangirls dream come true.

But I didn’t realize some unexpected things are about to happen.

In the middle of the song, right in front of thousands of people, Kyle stops singing.

His mouth hangs open, and his eyes are wide as he stares in the distance.

What is wrong with him?

Nate stops strumming his guitar when he notices Kyle has stopped singing.

Zeke glances at Lance questioningly; he shrugs in return.

I look around the crowd; they seem to be confused why the band stopped playing. The silence is deafening. You can drop a coin in the middle of the venue, and you can still hear it as it falls to the ground.

I’m about to head on stage and ask Kyle what’s going on when he takes a step forward, and with a voice full of wonder says, “Charlie.”

*****

Song: Fools by Lauren Aquilina

Thank you very much for waiting! <3