Published: Wednesday, May 3rd 2017 5:48 am

2 years later

Chapter One:

February 2nd, 2018

        One of the worst things to happen to you on the first day of school, let alone college, is to be late. It isn't like high school where the teachers find you and give you detention if you're late or haven't done a test or turned in a paper. You're an adult now and you have to act like it. Your papers must be completed and perfect and you have to be prepared to push yourself past your normal pace. Whether or not you attend class is up to you, but skip even once and you'll be behind. When I first moved down here and took one class, I learned the hard way how different college and high school lives are.

        That was two years ago. Not many people have the opportunity to reinvent themselves and move past their past selves. Luckily I am one of the few people. If it wasn't for my sister Tehreem and her husband Noor, I honestly would have stayed back in Riverside and went to the small community college at the edge of town. I would have been at home for who knows how long until my parents brought up the topic of marriage or getting out of bed to be productive. There isn't really much for me back in Riverside anyways. Alia went a thousand miles away to college, my sisters and their families went back home, and Jafar and Ayah are mostly in New York for their jobs.

         It was my time. It and now is my time to shine and I wasn't planning on passing that up. So I packed what I needed–clothes, phone, laptop, and some food and hopped on the next plane here. Two years later and I still don't regret that decision.

"Jamila, you're late. Again."

I suppressed an eye roll at my sister who was sat at the table drinking a cup of coffee. Amna, Mina and Zak sat at the table with her quietly eating their breakfast. You could definitely tell from the scene in front of them how much they have learned from their mother. If it was me who raised them they would probably be doing anything but being quiet and not making messes. Even Tehreem hinted at me not being the best influence after one influence.

   Granted that I caught Mina with one of my crop tops on and my red lip stick smeared across her face. It was a school day, we were running late, and Tehreem was not happy. The little girl in question looked up at me from where she was eating her cereal, her hazel eyes staring deep into my mine.

"I'll try to do better next time," I assured her and placed my school supplies down on the couch to go and scan the table for breakfast. After fainting last week because I was up late studying and hadn't eaten in almost a day, I had been highly reprimanded and told to stuff the food down my throat if I had to. Inaya for you. Tehreem took this time as I made a plate to usher the kids to the car while I was mid way through the table.

She stood there after Zak was the last to go through and folded her arms as if she was our mother at me. She has been acting this was since I got here and I'm guessing Ummi told her too. In this moment they look too much like twins to think otherwise. I had to scowl at the fact that she was even doing the foot tapping.

"Can you not help yourself? You look too much like Ummi," I said, voicing my thoughts as we walked out of the door. She laughed as she locked the door behind us and continued walking besides me to the driveway.

"You're basically my child," She smiled widely, making me groan. While I may be the youngest of my siblings and yes Tehreem does have a daughter a few years younger than me–I am almost twenty one! There has to be a point where I'm given my adult credit.

"Because that's what I live for," I said sarcastically. "I'm an adult. You could at least give me some credit."

"I will when you act like it."

I stopped walking just a few feet away from the car to tilt my head in thought. "So I don't act like an adult? Really?"

Tehreem continued walking to the front seat and opened her door, but not before rolling her eyes at me. "Jamila, you're being dramatic. Get in the car."

"No," I protested and stood where I was. Even if I wanted to, my feet had no intention of moving anywhere right now. "Not until you tell me why you don't think so."

"Look at yourself, Jamila," Tehreem laughed but I don't find anything funny about this situation. "You're answering your own question."

        Realizing that I was, in fact, proving her point, I puffed out a deep breath and checked the time to realize we are all very close to being late. So, reluctantly, I moved forward into the front seat and pulled out my headphones.

         "But to answer your question," Tehreem started as I was almost done untangling them. We had stopped at a red light and she turned in her seat to me. "You have changed in the last two years, Jame. The woman you are now and the many changes and accomplishments that you have done is inspiring and shouldn't be taken lightly. Know that I don't take it lightly."

         "So you take back what you said about me being childish?"

         I couldn't help the smile that took over my face as Tehreem groaned and began driving again towards the schools and my college. Thankfully the high school, middle school, and elementary school were in the same area. That makes a huge difference when you have three different kids and three different schools to get to. Plus my college is a distance from here.

         "I mean," Tehreem paused to wave at the person supervising the kids of Mina's school coming in before continuing. "I mean you know what you want and will do whatever to get it. You recognized that you were ready to move on in life. Recognizing that you're ready to grow up is the moment that you do–whoa! I'm driving."

         I pulled back from the side hug I had given her to cause a mini panic attack and sat back in my seat. Out of the three of my siblings, Jafar and I always seemed the closest. I guess it was because we were the two youngest of Ummi's kids, and while our sisters moved away and started families, we stayed behind and had each other. I've always had Alia there, but in the last few years things have shifted between us. She moved to Ohio and I moved to Miami. Long distance relationship, whether with a couple of best friends or a significant other, the distance always gets you.

        It's that barrier that gives you a choice to either fight for the friendship/relationship, or just realize it's too much and end it. The last time we talked was two weeks ago. We chose. But we didn't choose each other.

***

"No."

"Oh come on, why not?!"

"Because I don't like basketball like that," I shrugged and started to pack away my books as slowly as I could without being shushed by the study group behind us. My arms felt like wet noodles, and my energy level felt lower than it has ever been. The only thing on my mind all day is sleep and I am ready to make those dreams come true.

"You say that every time though," Inaya stood up once I was done packing up and started to head to the doors besides me, all while talking non-stop. I am just not in the mood for that. The last basketball game I went to was in high school and the reasons behind that are behind me. "How can you be a Florida native and not enjoy the teams."

"Um, like this," I said, gesturing to myself. "Plus I have loads to study for. Tests upon tests are coming up. And I was supposed to have mastered this computer program two weeks ago! Why aren't you freaking out like me?"

"Because I didn't choose a computer science major like you," She laughed. "Plus I have a personal tutor twin. Speaking of which," She paused to point towards the parking lot where her twin brother, Ismail, sat waiting for her. And just like that I knew what was coming next. "Do you need a ride?"

"Tehreem is coming in an hour," I yawned, checking my watch to make sure that I was right. By this time the kids had now gotten on the bus and are on their way home, but because College isn't that generous and I'm half an hour away from the house, my best bet is waiting.

"Ismail doesn't mind," She waved off and linked arms with mine. "Come on, come on, it's hot!"

"Hey," We were greeted with once we had gotten inside to the, thankfully, cool car.

"Wa Alaikum Salaam to you too," Inayah teased with a smile and pulled her seat belt to a close. "We're dropping off Jamila so we have to take the freeway."

"I was thinking more of stopping for ice cream," He piped up, Inaya's eyes widened, and I would be lying if I said the idea wasn't making my mouth water. I hate hot days like this, especially during school time. The heat mixed with stress team up to make my life and my scarfs life a living hell. Nothing about being roasted is appealing. Suddenly he was looking in the rear view mirror to me with a raised eyebrow. "What do you think, Jamila? Is it hot enough?"

"It's definitely hot enough," I laughed bitterly, wiping away the sweat on my forehead with my hand. "But I left my wallet at home."

"Which is why I'm buying," Inayah paused what she was doing, trying to find the right angle for a selfie, and turned slowly to her brother. "What?" He asked innocently. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't treat you two?"

"A very bad one," Inayah agreed and patted him on the back. "Mama raised you right."

***
        "How can people say there isn't a God?" Inayah suddenly spoke up and I paused from moving towards my cone to raise an eyebrow at her. We sat at a table at Ben and Jerrys while Ismail paced around a few feet away on his phone. Thankfully Noor had gotten off of work early and is at home with the kids, meaning I had time to just relax and enjoy my treat. This week had been nothing but studying and writing papers on computer design, and it's only Wednesday. The sooner the weekend comes the better.

        "What do you mean?" I asked, failing to hide my smile at how she looks right now. With both elbows sat on the table and spoon in hand, she has her head tilted and her eyes trained on her ice cream with heart eyes.

         "I mean, look at your ice cream. Seriously."

         "Okay," I said slowly and looked down just in time to catch a drop from spilling on the table. "I looked. What's your point."

        "That's my point!" She exclaimed, and I shook my head. "How can you not believe in a God that blesses the world with ice cream? It's crazy if you ask me."

        "Or a God who created a one of a kind girl like you too," I added, picking another spoonful up. "I see your point."

       "How can you feel this way about me and not want to go to the game?" She brought up our earlier discussion and I internally groaned. "I don't know if we can be friends anymore if you have a hate for the game."

       "Not the game exactly, but the memories," Came my clipped reply, and I didn't want to go any further than that. While Inayah has become a very close friend of mine whom I can tell everything to, I haven't told her a lot about my past and a lot of people have been left out from our discussions. But every time she mentions something like this, basketball, I feel the need to tell her but stop myself. Bringing those times back up will be hell to get them removed again. I prefer to keep my skeletons buried or stuffed into a closet.

        "My high school team sucked," I cleaned up when she stopped eating to wait for me to continue. "I guess it traumatized me," I shrugged.

        "Now I'm determined to change your perspective," She clapped with a wide smile and I pursed my lips with a shake of the head. "The hurricanes are playing next week and we're going!" The hurricanes? The name sounded familiar but I couldn't place it. But then it hit me once Inayah spoke her next words. "One of the star players is from your home town actually," I gulped, yet my face remained emotionless. "Mu'adh Scott I think. You know him?"

        "Probably from high school," I said after at least a minute of pretending to think while Inayah waited for an answer.

        "I don't know how you could not remember him. He's hot!"

        I laughed along with her, not wanting to risk showing any type of emotion to the situation. It's weird that after two years of leaving the past in the past that I would feel like a bumbling idiot when his name is mentioned. But I did, and I do. The question is, when will I not?

***
February 4th, 2017

        "I have to use the bathroom, Zak! Stop looking at yourself in the mirror!"

       "Kids, stop yelling and get ready for school!"

       "We will when Zak comes out? Zak, come out!"

       Not even both of my pillows could muffle the sounds coming from outside of my room at this hour. Only I could be lucky enough to have a room right across from the bathroom and have to live with three children, two of them teenagers. Before I moved here and lived in Riverside it was just my parents, brother and I and the house was quiet. I never had to get out of bed with my hair covering my entire face and swing open my door to find two of the three said kids glaring at the bathroom door. The same sound of water running that I heard upon waking up could be heard, and I woke up almost twenty minutes ago. So the only two options is that he either is taking a shower or has drowned. The snickering, however, ruled out the latter.

Sliding past Amna and Mina, I raised my hand and gave the bathroom door a long and hard knock.

"Zakaria Shahid!" I called, and almost immediately after the water cut off.

"Yes?" Came his muffled voice through the door as he cracked it open a little. I placed my left hand in the doorway to keep him from closing it and causing even more conflict. "I had to, uh, wash my face and..." he looked around for something to claim and zeroed in on his hands. I swear he is twelve yet acts as if he's still eight "...and my hands. I just did my hair."

"With my shampoo, right?" Amna raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. Zak shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'maybe' and Amna's eyes zeroed in to glare at him. "I knew it. When will you leave my stuff alone, Zak?!"

"I wouldn't have to take it if you would just let me use some!" He fired back, then tried to quickly close the door. He would've been successful if my hand hadn't been inside to keep it from closing. It was as if all of the air had been knocked from my body and my screams silenced, yet the sound of something cracking was at full volume. Instead, with all of my strength I pushed the door back open and pulled my hand out to see it already bruising.

"Oh my God!" We all turned in the direction of the hallway to find my sister, Tehreem, standing there with her mouth wide open and staring at my hand. I could barely see her through the hair in my face, but I know her and I can make out her expression. "How–what—I just–Jamila what?!"

"Ow don't touch it," I screeched when she began to come towards me, but that didn't stop her from taking my arm in her hands. "Tehreem, don't pop it back in place or something! It hurts!"

"I'm just examining it, okay?" She said softly as if I was one of her patients at the hospital and turned towards Amna. "Go get my keys, my scarf, and my...," she looked down at the outfit she had on to see what was missing, then turned back to her daughter. "And my sweater. Go tell your father what happened. Wait!" She called when Amna started to do as she instructed. "How did this happen?"

With a smirk on her face, Amna pointed in the direction of the bathroom where Zak was, basically in shock. "Ask Zak."

The look Tehreem gave her son as she turned around to glare at him had me shaking in my socks. "Speak."

***

        "Not too fast, ow, ow, ow," I hissed as the doctor moved towards me to show Tehreem where the fracture shown on the x-ray was on my wrist. From the moment we had stepped foot into the hospital and Tehreem took charge in paging the female orthopedic doctor on call to look at my hand. From then on we had been doing nothing but x-rays and waiting over an hour for results and consults. It was just my sister and I in the room, plus the doctor. My brother in law Noor had taken Amna, Mina, and Zak to school while Tehreem insisted on staying with me despite my protest. She had worked back to back double ships for the past week and planned on staying home until my...accident.

        She even quickly shut down me calling Inayah to come stay with me on account of some excuse about burdening others with family issues. I couldn't help but notice how much she looks like our mother wile impatiently waiting for the doctor to return, and constantly taking digs at her own hospital and how slow the staff was being.

        With my healthy hand I guarded my hurt one close to my stomach and nodded in the direction of the x-rays.

        "I just fractured it today. It's still sore."

        "Which is perfectly normal," Doctor Anne said with a wide smile, then tried again to grab my arm but was once again rejected by me. She placed her hands on her hips with a sigh and a shake of her head. "I'm not going to re-break it dear. I'm just going to point out the different breaks. It's even already splinted!"

        "There's no point in pressuring her, she won't do it," Tehreem said with a smirk and folded her arms. Instead of disagreeing, I nodded along and brought my wrist closer to me, if possible. "Three to six weeks, correct?"

        "Correct," Doctor Anne nodded and thankfully took a few steps away from me. "Also keep weight off of it and also keep it elevated and you should be fine."

        "I will," I said with a smile and finally took the death grip I had off of my wrist. "If that's all I need to get back home and, well, sleep."

        Tehreem stood up from her seat, shouldered her purse and opened the door for us. "Ditto."

        "I never did eat breakfast," I voiced once we had gotten outside and into the hot Florida sun. The throw on sweater and thick cotton scarf Mina had found for me was doing nothing to help with the heat. If possible, today is hotter than yesterday. But maybe it's my outfit...

         "Is this your subtle way of asking me to stop at McDonald's?"

        "Just simply a suggestion," I shrugged and awkwardly got into the passengers seat with my one working hand.

        "I thought you wanted to sleep?"

        "It's food," I said in a 'duh' tone and pulled out my glasses from the glove box. "Food comes first."

         Tehreem turned towards me at a red light and lifted up her own glasses and raised an eyebrow. "Exactly how are we related again?"

        "For a woman with three kids I would think you know how that works," I chuckled and pressed the lever to let my seat back. "Just saying."

        "You're wrong about food before sleep," She said and began driving once the light turned green. "Sleep is definitely the best state for you."

***

First chapter! Thoughts?

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