Chapter Seventeen

Annabelle jumped upon hearing her stomach rumble in loud disapproval of her deciding against supper. Had not the affairs of the day been more than enough for her nerves, to then add rich sauces and broths to her knotted stomach? No, no. Disasters were of plenty to willingly bring about further discomfort. Much to Annabelle's dismay, Mrs. Hawkins had been invited to supper at which time Nathaniel expressed his dissatisfaction with Logan's current governess, in turn offering Mrs. Hawkins the position. Annabelle could have died as the devil woman was set to stay. And though Mrs. Hawkins purposely refused Annabelle her gaze during the evening meal, uttering but a few simple pleasantries, Annabelle still felt her icy eyes upon her, branding her skin like snake fangs, her few words settling into her veins like poison. 

She gritted her teeth. Damn the deceitful woman! She was up to something; surely she was--but what? Had she not promised that Nathaniel would hate her if she dared weasel herself into his life? Was marriage not considered the ultimate meddling? Yet, Nathaniel was as affectionate as was proper and acceptable; never once letting on that something perturbed him or afflicted his mind. He had indeed sat awfully quiet, Annabelle internally refuted but then dismissed it in remembering his request that she sit beside him instead of at the end of the large oak table, to which he then followed by holding her hand, his finger stroking hers in soft rhythmic circles. She blushed. If he only knew how his touch affected her, causing sensations she hadn't ever felt before? But as torturous as the affair had been, If not for his touch, Annabelle was sure she wouldn't have made it through the tribulation without either releasing the contents of her stomach onto her plate or climbing over the table and savagely strangling the mask from the face of the seemingly well behaved woman that was Mrs. Hawkins. 

Settling further into her chair, Annabelle shivered. No matter what warmth the fire offered, the cold numbness would not rid itself from her bones. Goodness, perhaps she shouldn't have excused herself from supper in case Mrs. Hawkins decided to wage her war in her absence--

Nonsense! There was no way she could guard Nathaniel from his mother for the rest of his life out of fear. No, she had to think!  Rising in hopes of dispelling the cold by moving about the room, Annabelle sighed.  If Nathaniel only knew of the monster lurking behind his mother's silk gown surely a priest would be called for an exorcism.

But the devil woman had behaved and was tucked away in one of the many apartments for the night-

Annabelle froze. In all her furious thinking, she forgot about the matter that now twisted her nerves into a suffocating tangle; her wedding night.  Expectantly glancing at the connecting door to Nathaniel's room, she envisioned him walking in, the sheer thought arresting her breathing. He would come to her that night, to consumate their marriage. 

Suddenly, as if on a cruel cue, the door slightly opened,

 "Annabelle," Nathaniel called quietly, "are you awake?"

Dear God. Her nerves shattered, the softness of his voice striking her like lightning. Gripping onto the bedpost for support, she hoarsely intended to answer, but her voice failed her. Forcing her nerves into submission, her heart instantly fell to her feet as Nathaniel entered and behind him, closed the door.

Eyes aflame with fear and uncertainty, she watched as he pensively walked to the sitting area, his face expressionless.  Sliding off his waistcoat, he draped it on the back of the chair and paused.

Silence.

Something was wrong. Why else would he be so solemn? So...unreadable? Dispersing the cowardly thoughts, she opened her mouth to voice her concerns when he met her eyes, "How are you feeling?"

Her deathly clench on the bed post intensified, her nails digging into the wood in veiled terror, "V-v-very well." She faltered, "Why would you ask?"

He paced the room absently, his voice flat, unaffected as he went on, "You hardly touched your meal and barely spoke a word during supper, even after my mother attempted various times to initiate a conversation." Damnation! He was angry. It irritated him seeing her contempt for his mother, thinking it barefaced and rude.

Annabelle coiled back, trailing him with her gaze, "And that angers you?" she prodded with certainty.

His gaze flickered with confusion, "Angers?" 

What? Annabelle's mind paused. He was angry-wasn't he?

He clarified, "No, no.  I was merely concerned," Thank God! Annabelle's inside eased as air rushed back into her lungs. Though not entirely relieved, it was more than enough to coax her into releasing her strangling hold on the bedpost.

He continued, "You excused yourself so hastily, I thought perhaps you were unwell. And even now you are greatly paled; I dare go as far and say you look terrified. Are you sure all is well?"

Annabelle could not stop shaking but managed a smile, "I am," she chuckled, mocking her crippling fear, "I am well. It's been a long day and I had no desire to eat..." He hadn't been angry; he was worried--silly girl!  But upon closer observation, it seemed her excuse failed to ease whatever concern claimed her husband's brow. It occurred to Annabelle that perhaps she should not abandon their current course of conversation and so approaching the chair opposite his, she said, "Though I suspect you are not."

Staring for a moment, the light casting a solemn sparkle in the blue of his eyes, he lowered his gaze. "It's nothing." He replied, a strange nervousness spilling from his words, his face troubled.  Christ, please let it have not been his mother...

Her mind whirling in fear, Annabelle pressed, "There is something you wish to talk to me about? To ask of me?" He remained silent, the clenching of his jaw betraying his thoughts.  Smiling weakly, he shook his head and rose, stretching a hand toward her, "Come."

Goodness, Was then this the moment? When he would take her, make her his? Dazed, Annabelle wished to go forward but her feet rooted to the floor.

Perplexed brows arched, "What frightens you Ann?" awareness then snapping over his eyes, "God, did Clara scare you last night?" he gritted his teeth. After having spent the past nights at her bedside, talking for the major part though passionate affections never lingering too far behind, Annabelle gathered Nathaniel deducted her deep inexperience to which he apologized for not possessing the required feminine delicacy to explain the matter without perhaps frightening her. That following evening Clara sat with Annabelle, no doubt at Nathaniel's request, to educate her on said topic. Unfortunately, she too lacked the decorum needed to explain what would be required of Annabelle in the marital bed, indeed frightening Annabelle, whose little knowledge came from servant tattle heard under the stairs. The rest of that night, Annabelle lay awake trying to make sense of all she had heard; her only comfort coming from knowing that Nathaniel would be a gentle lover, after which she would be his, wholly.

She shook her head shyly, "Just a little but don't reprimand her please. She only wished to help."

Closing the space between them, Nathaniel intertwined his fingers with those of a trembling Annabelle, lowering his head onto hers, "You needn't be frightened of me, ever.  I've no intentions of taking your gift until you are fully prepared." He whispered, leading them back toward the bed. Sitting, he drew Annabelle beside him and ushered her down by his side, "I simply desire to lay with you, to hold you."

Oh how she wished she could have frozen time at that moment. Lying there, in that intimate space with her husband, hands entwined over his rising and falling chest, soft kisses being granted upon her head; heaven.

Tenderly, he stroked her hair, "This is my fault. Blinded by the years of desperation in which I sought you, I seemed to have forgotten that in essence we are strangers..." He chuckled, "Perhaps my mother was right in reprimanding me."

"Reprimanding? For what? You've done nothing--"

"For hurrying you to wed me while still not having asked you of your past. She thought I was being boorish and selfish."

What! "You mean to say she requested you ask me of my past? Your mother proposed this? For me to tell you how I ended at the Melbourne House with no possession, no family, no...name?" The nerve of the clever witch!

Annabelle shuddered clearly identifying the bait, the lure for her to cast the first stone. Yes, yes. Mrs. Hawkins simply wished for Annabelle to blame her, to accuse her while having no proof to which then she would go for the kill and counter Annabelle's accusations as insane and untrue. She would have the upper hand in her accusation, branding Annabelle paranoid and crazy and with lack of proof would it not appear so? Annabelle cringed. Perfectly aware of the lure, and praying she not regret her decision, Annabelle delved into a deep and detailed account of her troubling years, however omitting specifics of names for the time being.

"And that is why I now have nothing. Everything was taken--auctioned." She paused, white fury searing her veins in recalling her mother's gowns, her warm smell infused in the fabric.

Understanding hands cupped over hers,"Let us speak no more on the matter until you are able-"

"No." Annabelle readily replied, "We must because while now I have no proof of which to persuade you and corroborate my story, I fully intend to." Though she had yet to think of how. Continuing with her horrific account, Nathaniel reddened with anger, at times paling in shock.

Upon her last word, a silence stretched between them in which time Nathaniel held her close, "While I do hope that one day you will tell me who this person is," his voice darkened, "I think it is best you not tell me now as surely there would be blood on my hands."

Nestling further into the crook of his neck, delighting simply in his masculine scent and gentle pulse, she said with all the certainty in the world, "You wouldn't." because she wouldn't ever allow him to commit such a sin regardless of her own personal hate.

She looked up at him, "What else did your dear mother say? She did not seem at all pleased." Annabelle suppressed the smirk tickling her lips, anything of which would cause the old hag some discomfort being a delight.

"Nothing worth repeating. She was a bit surprised but she's come around and even willingly agreed to help you make this dramatic transition into society-"

"What!" her mind and voice yelled in frightening unison, "The hell she will!" Shooting up, Annabelle settled back on her knees  "Nathaniel I refuse to let that woman help me with anything, especially after she--"

Hush! Her conscience blared, cutting her off midflight; you mustn't cast the first stone!

Cast the first stone? By heavens, had Mrs. Hawkins not cast the first stone--first bullet more precisely? Had she not cast the first stroke upon sending her to the Melbourne's under false pretense! First stone indeed!

Furiously, Annabelle bit back her words, "After she clearly looked at me in such distaste as to tell me of her disapproval. She does not want us together. Please Nathaniel. She does not care for me; I saw it in her stare. Can't you find someone else?"

Nathaniel frowned, "Ann, you are aware this is my mother we speak of?" his voice sharpened, "I know she can be a tad difficult but she means well. I can assure you with my life, she is harmless." He stiffened, "She has been the one person I have been able to confide in fully all of these years and I wish her to be that for you as well." Taking her hand, he led her back down beside him. "You have been through much and while she may appear quite frightening, she means well and only has my best intentions in mind--your best intentions in mind. I trust in her wholeheartedly and soon you will see that you can as well."

Damn. Was there anything else to be said? Though painful, his obvious bias favored his mother--

Surprised?

 No, not at all. His mother's influence was much greater than her own and although love was of certainty, Annabelle quickly realized that trust had yet to solidify in the unknown ground that was her union to Nathaniel.

 "Very well." She sat slowly, her back to her husband, "Forgive me for my outburst. I did not mean to offend you in anyway."  She turned to look at him but without warning he rose from the bed. Heavens, had she offended him so?

"Nathaniel--"she turned hoping to stop him but was surprised to see he was coming around the bed.  

He stopped before her, "No more talk of the past.  For now I simply wish to hold you and dance."  He smiled, extending his hand to her, "My lady?"

Flushing deeply, Annabelle slid her hand into his, the coolness of his fingers rippling through her body. Against her better aims, a cathartic tear streamed down her face as Nathaniel led them to the center of the room, the golden hues of the fire warming their skin. He lifted his hand, intending to wipe away the falling tear but Annabelle softly shook her head, forbidding him as there was no shame in its descent.  

Firmly placing a hand at the small of her back, he lifted their hands, resting hers within his. Leaning down, his lips pressed softly against hers, lingering. A surging heat swept over her, as his  kiss deepened but just as quickly vanished as he pulled back. With a tender smirk, he began humming a gentle tune leading them into an intimate waltz.

Spinning her dramatically and quickly losing proper form, Annabelle giggled at his admirable lack of tune and for once heard his hearty laugh, the one that so often filled her younger days.  Their eyes remaining solely on the other, unwavering, his lips captured hers once more as together they fell into a silent dance, the gap between them closing, welcoming the joining of their bodies for the first time, in many times that night...

***

Comment? Vote?

A FEW IMPORTANT THINGS:

Thanks to all of your wonderful support, Flashbacks of a Fool was added to the Historical Fiction library on Wattpad! So a huge thanks for all the support.

Second, I'm sorry the chapters have been less 'action' packed. I'm trying to establish Nate&Anna first before...well before the boom but I think they're pretty established now so I suppose this is the last ho-hum chapter :)

And with that, please vote and comment and if you haven't yet, go ahead and fan :)