Chapter Twenty-Five {Part Two}

The Temple of Souls was... beyond. Beyond words, beyond anything I could have ever imagined. The base of the massive structure was a stone rectangle that stretched what would be the length of a football field but at the top sat a pyramid made entirely of glass. Through the glass, I noted the pyramid was full of a red mist.

At the top point of the pyramid was a statue of two bronze hands joined at the wrists but the fingers were open with palms facing the sky. It was exactly what Kheelan had done when Ivan was dying. From the middle of the joined wrists, continuous red smoke swirled out, escaping the glass encasement of the pyramid and evaporating into the crimson sky.

“Kheelan did that when Ivan….when he,” I swallowed, trying to force the words out. Maris just sighed. It was understandable. I was a nuisance with all the emotions and the questions and truth be told, I wasn’t too thrilled to ask her, but who else was there? I had no one else to turn to. North and south, Earth and Hillenia, there was just Maris.

Visibly annoyed, she joined her wrists together in a similar fashion, “Two wrists--Seelie and Unseelie. Joined together with open hands represent our ancestors welcoming a perished soul into their hands, regardless of their court. Whether light or dark, we all wish to be admitted into the never ending cycle.”

Never ending cycle? Yes, another question and one I fully intended on asking but getting closer to the Temple, I was awestruck at the delicate and worn beauty of the stucture that was surrounded by fragments of broken stones in the red sand yet it stood without one crack. There was no describing it without completely short changing its beauty. Thick columns of marble adorned the outside forming a transparent but solid curtain before the entrance to the temple.  Beautiful hieroglyphics were carved into the frieze, the symbols the same to those on my arms….well, the ones once on my arms. The capital of the columns each had symbols carved of the elemental symbols; a leaf for earth, a flame for fire, a swirl for air and a droplet for water.  It went without saying: in the Temple, all the elements were as one.

Ivan’s covered body was taken up the marble stairs and side by side, Maris and I walked in behind them. In a way, as much as I disliked her, I was glad she was there.

Stepping into the doorway, I paused, blinking. Within, hooded figures of red and white bustled about, some carrying silver urns and others golden bowls. But when the traveling party stood at the door with Ivan’s body, all those inside scurried aside in unison, forming two straight lines. Lowering their bowls and  urns onto the floor, their glass hands joined in the cradled position like that of the bronze statue on top of the temple and in this form, they knelt before their urns and bowls. Pressing their foreheads against the marble floor, they chanted  Beannaigh an anam in soul stirring melancholy tones and after repeating it three times, everything fell into deep quiet. I remembered the words. Kheelan had uttered the same phrase when Ivan was dying but thankfully I didn't have to ask what they meant.

"Bless the soul." Maris offered in a hushed whisper. The sad chant was beautiful and enough to jumpstart my grief but wrapping my thoughts firmly around my reasons for being there, I whispered it under my breath and settled into the same roaring silence.

Ivan’s body was then brought forth, and no one moved. Neither did I, partly because I was  stunned by the beauty inside. Along the walls of the temple ran a shallow pool of the red water, feeding into the altar at the center of the open floor.  The altar itself was the same symbol of open hands, but much larger and from the middle of the joined wrists, a raging flame roared. The smoke then rushed out through the glass pyramid.  And even though the fire was strong, the ocean breeze swept in, offering much comfort.

Ivan’s body was laid on a flat stone surface at the foot of the altar and in laying him down; the hooded servants each bowed and in their prostrated positions, stepped back.

Maris strode inside without another word, as if she owned the place; I was still a bit unsure so I stood by the arched doorway. It wasn't as if we had been invited in and yeah we weren't vampires but courtesy was courtesy was courtesy. However, I forgot all manners and abandoned the door when behind me a roaring wind tore through, crashing against the temple walls with a threatening potency.

The rhythm of my hurried steps slowed when at the end of the path made by the prostrated figures, appeared the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.  Regally, she stood in the middle of the opening, just before the altar. The same paleness as I in my faerie form, her skin was eerily smooth with the transparency of a ghost. It was strange. She looked older yet time never seemed to have imprinted itself on her skin. There were no fine lines, just a stone like face with a weathering only brought on by age. But she was timeless, beautiful. And she glowed but just slightly, angelically and effortlessly. It was obvious she had supreme control over her powers. My glow was erratic and uncontrolled, but hers shone evenly and unwavering.  Her hair was a whitish blond that moved in ripples like flowing water putting my shambled mess to shame. But I'd been to hell and back so my looking a complete mess was justified.

Her stare flicked to Maris for a slight moment but her face remained expressionless. That 'slight' moment was more than enough time for me to see her gray eyes blaze with recollection and none of it good. There was no mistaking the stare. It was hate, plain and simple.

Her sights then turned to me and slowly, she took me all in before meeting my eyes. My breathing hitched, the intensity of her gaze leaving me breathless. The anger was gone, replaced by a profound wisdom, a deep understanding of the past and of eternity. But it also glimmered with the curiosity of a child. It was a odd, yet beautiful contradiction as if she knew everything, yet knew nothing at all, always wanting—needing to learn more.

 Still staring at me, she remained wordless…so I curtsied. Was she Her Grace? Maris didn’t seem ruffled by her appearance hinting at her being a higher being. But I curtsied still. It was either curtsying or bowing but bowing was so much more masculine and well….oh I don’t know. I curtsied, end of story. Isn’t that what people normally do in formal situations? 

Without a word, she turned around, the train of her glittering white robe brushing behind her, leaving a trail of sand that snaked behind her like obedient children. Truly a stunning sight. Ascending the altar with curiously slowed steps, she walked around where I could see her face again.  Raising a hand to uncover Ivan, she hesitated. It was a brief reluctance,  but I caught it and it spoke volumes. Then lifting the blue robe, she quickly lowered it, pressing a hand to her stomach. With a slight intake of breath, she stepped away, turning her back to the crowd though only Maris and I saw her since everyone remained down.  She knew him and by the solemnness that overtook her, it was evident she knew him well.

I wanted to ask Maris but didn’t dare speak. Even whispering would have been heard by how quiet the temple grew. It had been silent before but this sunk into deeper levels and it was then I noticed that all sounds had ceased. There was no breathing, no movement, no hushing of the ocean--just the intense crackling of the fire. Even Maris looked to be unsure if she should breathe or not. I never thought I’d see her reluctant about anything and that left me feeling even more unsettled. I still had much to learn about these people—scratch that, I knew nothing about this Temple, the people, the rituals and the strange woman but two things were clear. She was powerful and she knew Ivan. Make that three things—Ivan’s death left her in downed spirits. What if she got angry?  The last thing I wanted was to start a battle in this unknown place to then be blown to smithereens.

Thankfully, the intense silence was soon shattered when in their language the woman recovered, ordering Ivan's body be cleaned, obvious by the flurry of movement that sparked at the sound of her voice. In swift movements, the assembled lines of kneeling servants disbanded, some hurrying to draw water from the surrounding pool while others approached him with bowls of leaves and red sand.  Surrounding Ivan, they sprinkled the sand on his body, rubbing it in circular motions with the leaves. The others then sprinkled water on him and with more leaves, patted his skin dry. The process then began all over again.

Entranced by the ritual, I didn’t notice the glowing woman had approached until her soft voice drew me from my thoughts.

“You have heard our call and you have come. We thank you.” She said flatly though her voice held a distinct indignation and deep traces of sorrow.

I curtsied...again. “Of c-c-course, your highness?“ 

Maris scoffed.

“Your Grace,” the woman corrected me, all the while glaring at Maris.  “I am Your Grace. You my child, both of you,” she sounded almost disgusted, still looking at Maris, “The two of you are your highness.” And putting her hands together at the wrists, she held them at her forehead and knelt before us. It made me uncomfortable to have her kneeling to me. I could have been a Queen and still wouldn’t consider myself above this woman.  Maris however smirked down loftily, crossing her arms at her chest.

 “Please don’t.” I touched her elbow, helping her to her feet. “It is my honor to be here and to have heard your call. Please do not kneel to me.” I had done nothing to deserve their worship and especially not if I was being bowed down to because of my father.

 Her Grace nodded once and accepted my assitance.

She said, “However I may repay you, speak it and I shall make it so, if it is for the betterment of your soul.”

Maris instantly moved to speak but her Grace’s face transformed, her glasslike face wrinkling at the brow in deep cracks as she scowled at Maris. Her silver eyes swirled into pits of deep purple smoke. “You have no right to speak in this house, regardless of who your mother is.” Her voice thundered, sounding like a chorus of tenors and sopranos while a gust of wind snapped through the white curtains that draped from the ceiling along the back wall. And just like that Maris was put in her place. But before the winds died down and the curtains settled, I saw that in the back wall there was a painted mural of all the elements swirling into a white abyss, and in the middle, there was a gate.  Surely it was of the famous door to the veil between Earth and Hillenia but my brain was too fried to launch into an artistic analysis.

Gently, the winds hushed back to a calming breeze and the curtains resettled. Her Grace turned to me, her eyes misting back to gray.

“But you,” she said, her voice softened to its comforting tune. “Tell me, what does your soul desire?”

A normal life.

To know my mother.

Peace...

My heart desired so many things and as of late, even the simple things such as a random conversation with Casey. I missed that, the little 'non-important things' that I took for granted. The simplicity of giggling with my best friend, oogling over a boy I couldn't have.....heck, even ice-cream. Briefly extending a blink I remembered those trivial things, taking a moment to lose focus and be selfish...just a little bit. But in opening my eyes, reality slapped me in the face when over her Grace's shoulder I saw the newly cleansed body of my common, just as a velvet robe was draped over his vessel, shielding him from my eyes. Remembering my reasons for being in the Temple and all that had happened, my stomach clenched queasily. The nausea was furthered in thinking I would fail.

Yes, I had become quite the party-pooper, a real pessimist but I'd seen everything from heaven when fusing with Ivan to hell in seeing him become that monster then be killed. I embraced my pessimism. What if bringing Ivan back was not for the betterment of my soul? Hell, what if it wasn’t even possible? What If she said no? What if—

A hand touched my shoulder.  Lifting my eyes, Her Grace stared down at me, her eyes now a pale yellow.

Taking my hands, her voice lowered to a whisper where I could have mistaken it for something deeper than a thought. “Do not be frightened, my child. Come,” she said but her lips did not move. A deep sense of love and sadness waved through me coming from her gentle touch. Her hands, though gritty were silky in texture just as the red sands were that sprawled outside.  Smelling of the ocean, her fragrance surrounded me with serenity and comfort...a familiar safety. The same safety I felt when with Ivan.  I could have held her hands forever and in all the madness my life had been over the past months, I relished that small measure of peace I was gifted.

Leading me around the altar, we walked through another doorway leading outside. I stopped in my tracks.

“Is this safe? I thought my fath—King Xanthus had spies and if they see me—“

“Your father cannot see you behind the veil provided us by the spirits of our ancestors,” she pointed up to the statue releasing the smoke. “It is most strong here. It is released to be embraced by the elements and bring us peace. Into the air it flows, traveling in the wind. When it rains it falls back into the ocean while too nourishing the vines of life that are then fed to the flames and the cycle begins once more, never ending.”

That was the never ending cycle Maris spoke of. It was the ultimate protection provided by nature itself, by our ancestors. Settling a bit knowing that I could not be discovered there, I stepped outside but chose to sit at a stone bench within an alcove. Remember the pessimism? Exactly.

Looking out into the distance, the red ocean lapped with its continuous waves, once more reminding me of my mission.

Sitting beside me, with my hands still in her hold, Her Grace gave each palm a kiss. Then joining them together, she said, “You have brought back our beloved highest Sage. May you always be blessed. I will be forever grateful.”

Grateful to me? Thank God she called. She summoned me right when I had run out of hope and only desperation lies at the end of that road. If she hadn’t…it wasn’t worth thinking about. Not anymore. Not until she told me she couldn’t restore Ivan. Then I would be desperate.

Must’ve having sensed my inner turmoil, she lowered my hands. Squeezing them reassuringly, she said, “You can ask me anything you want child.”

I nodded, slight trembling overtaking me.  That was it. The question played readily in my head but my fear in hearing the answer kept me from saying it. Nothing over the past few weeks had prepared me for the possibility of what her Grace would say when I asked her my question.

 “I was told of your power, and...”  My voice broke. Damned fear. Clearing my throat and looking out into the endless waves for strength, I started again.

“As you probably already know, Ivan, your high Sage….he is--was my common,” I stopped, looking back to her in case this was news to her. Apparently it wasn’t as she smiled compassionately and nodded encouragingly. And then it hit me, I fused with Ivan on that beach. It was her voice we heard during our fusion. Mortification swamped me.

She chuckled. “Fusing is as sacred as it is private, Charlotte.” Thank heavens.

She went on, “I only hear the vows traveling in the wind and encourage the next set of promises. Nothing more. Now tell me, what is it you seek?”

Swallowing, I regrouped.  “I thought that with this being the Temple of Souls, perhaps, if there was some way you could bring him back,” There were no further words. None were needed. My stare should have said it all because I had just handed her my heart. I could have pleaded and begged but in the end the answer was hers to make and it was either a simple yes or no.

She stared at me for a moment.  “Charlotte,” she started, and I went cold all over. Whenever anyone starts a sentence with a name, it’s never a good thing.

Charlotte, you’re grounded.

 Charlotte, I won’t be home this Christmas.

So I waited because Charlotte, there is no way to restore Ivan seemed to be next in line.

She released my hands. I braced. “Restoring a soul is hardly ever done.  We respect the balance of life, and once a soul becomes one with our sacred air, to bring it back is a disruption to the natural order.”

My heart stopped. She took my hands again but they continued shaking because slowly I was crumbling. I’d somehow managed to build myself up. No one told me she could bring him back. That had all been part of denial. There were three steps right. Denial being the first. Then was anger and another one I couldn’t wrap my head around because I couldn’t get past denial. Anger was far too dangerous. Anger would mean bloodshed. Anger would mean no way back because it would devour my humanity. So I clung to denial…

“Charlotte,”

Here we go again. More bad news.

“That doesn’t mean it can’t be done.”

What? Was denial also responsible for messing with my hearing?

She went on, “But for it to be done, the use of very ancient and dangerous magic must be employed. I can perform the ceremony and call upon our ancestors. But I will only be opening the door to the spirit world; you alone must plead the reason why they should restore him. They will ask you one question, and one question only. Your answer to that question alone determines whether they restore Ivan, or not. You will only have once chance to answer it and the answer must be one of a pure heart,” she pressed an open palm against my chest, “and of a pure soul.” She then pressed her palm on my forehead. Lowering it, she cupped my face.

My soul stirred. Pure reasons? I was speechless. Not because I didn’t have any reasons but because there were so many. But would any of them appease the ancestors? Blindly I nodded. At least it wasn’t completely over…yet.

Yet. That word was the rock of my denial. I’d had my share of pain to give up now. Until I had a definitive answer, everything rested on yet.

Looking to her Grace, I nodded. “If you will perform the ceremony, I will give the elders my reasons."

She pressed with earnest concern, “Are you certain you wish to do this? You will be in the company of the greatest of sages and you will not be in your body but in spirit alone. You will have no access to your powers. If they are not satisfied with your answer and see any evil in your heart, they will keep your soul. You must be certain.”

Well, I was not expecting that. I had to risk my life---my soul to get Ivan back. But there was no question.

“I’m certain. He died for me, to give me a chance, because he vowed to protect me. We had our differences, but he did what he set out to do. To keep me safe, to strengthen me, to teach me. And whether or not I bear his marks, I am certain...because he didn’t run away. He stayed after I tried to kill him. When Maris sought to kill me from within and he didn’t know what I was, he reached for me still saying he could help me.” I met her eyes, “I am certain because foolish or not, I loved him, and I love him still and even if I tried to, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

Her Grace was quiet for a moment. A moment too long where my heart bursting from my chest seemed like a possibility. I prayed she wouldn’t back down because she was the only one who could perform the ceremony.  

My heart rattled violently.  What if she said no?

My chest caved. If she said no, I would lose him.

My vision blurred.  I suppose I do cry a lot. But this was it.

Her Grace squeezed my hands. Lifting my gaze, she smiled, crystal-like particles of sand spilling from her eyes, and as they fell onto our joined hands, they melted, streaming through our fingers as droplets of wine colored tears. It was heartbreaking but so painfully beautiful.  

With a motherly affection I never experienced, she wiped my tears. “A mother could only pray for such a pure and loyal love for her child. And our ancestors have heard my prayer.”

What? In the deepest corners of my soul, I saw this conversation going one of two ways. But the right path suddenly became clear because my mother was human….And then I understood the gray eyes, the blond hair—Heavens.

 “You’re Ivan’s mother.”

She nodded solemnly, lowering hear head to wipe her falling tears. I suddenly felt worse. I should have been the one consoling her when her son’s body had been brought back to her. How could I not have seen it? Not only the eyes, but the way she regarded Maris and then her pain upon seeing his body had been a singular pain…but then again, I never had a mother so what would I know?

I exhaled slowly not wanting to disturb her grieving. Her tears flowed like a child for long moments where I let her weep into our joined hands.

When her body no longer quavered with silent sobs and she straightened back, I dared speak. “I am so sorry for your loss Your Grace. Had I know, I would have offered my condolences—“

“You brought him home to me, Charlotte. It has been a long, long time since I last saw my eldest son. The last time, during his binding ceremony to her,” she paused, a purple mist flashing past her silvery eyes, “Everything was in such chaos; I wasn’t able to properly bless him or say goodbye.”

The last time she saw him was during Ivan and Maris’ almost wedding. That makes all the sense in the world. He had killed Maris then and Xanthus showed up. Goodbyes were definitely not on the agenda.

She added, “I could feel him in your world, barely but enough where I knew he was alive. I didn’t know where and did not risk reaching out to him for fear he might be found somehow if he dared open a connection to me. The last time I gambled doing so was to tell him of your land, of Shongopovi and even then I placed it in his soul as a thought. He never knew it was from me and I was never able to tell him that he was to protect you or tell him how much I loved him. The other time I sensed him was during your binding but you needed him as much as he needed you.”

A pale fuchsia glowed in her eyes as tears of the same color fell. She was literally pouring out her soul.

But then it hit me. “You sent him to me?”

Blankly she stared as if I was supposed to know. “Of course, Charlotte. I only bound your powers until your human side could come of age—“

I made no comment.  All the revelations were really short of a novel at this point and the climax was near.

“I have studied humans and dealt with them before but never an infant as you were. I did not know how your development during the adolescent years would affect the seals I placed within you.  You are aware that emotions heavily impact your powers. The emotional changes within you in those adolescent years are extreme.  I was worried they would undo what seals I made. You needed protection, especially if Maris was to waken simultaneously.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. “So you knew Maris was within me?”

“Charlotte,” she started, again with the name calling. “Who do you think bound her to you?”

Well damn.

I shot up. Walking to the veranda, I pressed my hands against the cool stone, feeling everything whirl beneath me. Her Grace was silent; maybe giving me a chance to recover but there was no recovering from that.

Naturally there were a million questions and finally there was someone who could give me the answers but the only one that I needed then was the answer to why, why did she do it and why me.

So I wasted no more time. “Why?”

She came and stood beside me, folding her glass hands one on top of the other on the veranda.

“Partly because I had no choice.  Your existence is one that has been eagerly awaited by both courts for different reasons. The Unseelie want you to break the veil between the worlds, the Seelie want to protect you so that it won’t ever happen. Sadly, I dare say a large number of them wish to destroy you as a guarantee. Previously we all thought Maris was the chosen one since she was so powerful in all the elements; it was assumed that eventually she would control time as a sort of natural progression of her powers. That was why I personally asked Ivan to instruct her….” The regret in her voice was palpable as was the guilt in her body language as she rubbed her arms tightly.

“But as Ivan taught her more and more, though she did control all of the elements with a frightening ease, I sensed that time was not hers to wield. It became more than apparent at the time of her death. Emotions, if not properly controlled can set off a chaotic display of powers,”

She was telling me that?

“Time would have instantly stopped in a defense mechanism of sorts even if she couldn’t control it. But as with any other Fae, her life-force left her broken vessel and Xanthus’ healers harnessed the force and stole it. Surely they meant to use it for their vile purposes but still, I was not too concerned because she was not the time holder. She could not do much damage. I thought we were safe…but then you were born.” She smiled faintly as if trying to lighten what was to come next.

“Whenever a royal child is to be born, the mother is brought here so that the child is delivered under the watchful and blessed eyes of our ancestors.  And while human, such was done for your mother."

Hearing her speak of my mother, however passing, stirred my emotions.

She went on, “When your mother gave birth to you, time stopped. It literally came to a standstill for brief moments, mere seconds. The red skies no longer swirled, the waves ceased…. until your first cries were heard. As the voice for our ancestors, your stopping time did not affect me, but no one else realized what had happened. None of the sages, not even your father.  But I knew it was you.” Her gaze focused out to sea.

“Your father was bound to learn of your ability sooner rather than later, so while your mother recovered, I bound your powers with very ancient seals that unless you knew where to look, they were invisible to all healers and sages. I told your father that you had no powers…that though half fae, your human side was stronger. I assumed it would have kept you safe, that he would have disowned you and I could have kept you safe here in the Temple but—”

“He didn’t disown me.” The words left my lips. The pieces were easy enough to put together but I let her tell me.

“He didn’t. You were a ‘powerless’ vessel…the perfect vessel for Maris. Your father threatened to destroy the temple if I did not bind Maris’ life-force to you. And he would have. He has no regard for our traditions, for our sacred places.”

“But why? Maris can’t break the barrier between the worlds, why did he still want her?”

“Because she could still kill Queen Alistrina, something Xanthus wants probably as equally as destroying all humans.” She placed her hand on mine, her eyes a honeyed yellow.

“Please do not hate me Charlotte. I believed that in binding her to you and helping your mother escape, I could have delayed the war that was to undoubtedly happen when everyone learned of your ability. That was why I sent Ivan to you. He was to help you develop your powers so that when the time came, the moment when you stood before the greatest of all seals, you would know what to do…you would know which side to choose.”

I thought over her words. It seems Fate trumped everyone.  But there was no doubt in my mind. When the time came that I stood before the one seal that kept our worlds apart, I would know because, “There is only one side to choose. I want to keep the worlds separate.”

“The choice may not be so easy when the time comes.” She said truthfully and I kind of wished she would have lied. You know those ‘needed lies’ we tell in life to spare pain and confusion. But she didn't, and with reason. This was the mission that lay stretched out before me. Eventually I would have to make the choice as to whether to break apart the veil or keep it lifted. My conscience told me the choice was already made but a dark part of me agreed with Her Grace. Who knew what would be hung over my head when that moment came? What things would I learn along the way that would maybe shift my reasoning? I could always plan. I could force myself to cover my ears and reject everything, sticking firmly to my resolve not to break the veil.

But then again, hadn’t I also planned to be married at 24 with some work-at-home job so that I could watch my babies grow up? Yes, yes I wanted the house and the 2.5 kids….I wanted things, normal things. But nothing I wanted was part of the equation and nothing in my life was normal any longer. Besides, I should know by now that nothing I wanted ever happened. Which brought me round full circle—

“I’ll be ready when the time comes and I can’t promise you what I’ll do when it happens but there is one thing I need before that time comes.”

“Ivan.” She said with all certainty and she was right.

“I know seeing the elders is no small step and I’ll be putting myself up there for slaughter…but I’m certain I want to do this. I’d rather them take my soul then having Xanthus find me. Anything would be better than that. Besides, if they take my soul then no one will be able to tear the veil…” I smiled; trying to reassure her but her pale pink eyes glinted with tears.

I added, “I no longer know Fate’s plan your Grace, but I’m sure it’s for the best. It brought me here, didn’t it?”

She stared at me with a deep wonder and fascination. “I hope Ivan loved you dearly and knew how special you were.”

I took my hands from her hold, not wanting her to be able to tap into me as she had done before. “I’m sure he cared for me, in his own way….” In a very strange, tortured, silent, near invisible kind of way.

Her eyes swirled back into an intense gray. “Are you sure about this Charlotte?”

I hesitated, but only for a slight moment, only for a moment to let my life flash before my eyes. And emptying my lungs of all air, I said,

“I’m sure. Let’s do this.”

Heck, I’d battled monsters; humans….what were a few dead faeries that had the power to keep my soul and trap me in the spirit world forever. A piece of cake, right?

Yeah….

 **

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In the next chapter, the biggie of all questions will be answered and Charlotte’s quest will become much more clear. And that should be the last of Book One. Hopefully I can keep it to one upload depending on how long the chapter is. I don't want to rush the ceremony and her seeing Ivan again-- YES YES A SPOILER-- she will see him, but that's all Im giving you :)

Kheelan will also be back soon but I might leave that for the next book....not too sure yet.  I want it to be all big and dramatic haha

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