Black clouds vanished into Elena’s vortex of death, flashes of lightning illuminating her at the center, spinning faster with each turn. Grato set off as a battling windstorm  while an army of speared stones exploded from Addax’s hands.  Kheelan still stared at me running toward him, oblivious to their approach behind him. Instincts flaring, I dove into Kheelan’s arms while tearing the ground from beneath Addax.  His concentration broken, the spiked stones lost their track and were sucked into Elena’s vacuum as Addax struggled to keep from plummeting to his death. Kheelan fell back, taking me with him, but before falling I shut my hands into tight fists, closing the earth around Addax. It was harder than I thought it would be. We battled for control of the same earth, the pressure mounting in my head, blurring my vision.

“The memorium, now!” Elena thundered, absorbing all attacks, mainly Grato’s.  Kheelan made to stand but I pulled him down, screaming for a memorium.The winds whipped around us, fireballs and icy daggers flying past, leaving their beautiful trail in the air. But, in that moment, Kheelan was caged in my thoughts, only the two of us existing. Awareness glossed over Kheelan’s eyes, his crystal stare locked onto mine. They cracked with a darkness that stabbed me. He realized the choice I’d made, and more, its consequence.  The boldness of my images tore at edges of his respect for me. Gradually his skin faded to ashen white, and though it was just a second, it was an eternity for me to know that in that moment, seeing all I'd done, Kheelan hated me.

Skipping over the moments between Ivan and me, I dragged him to the memories of Kala’el killing her Grace. Bursts of lightning exploded above our heads. Even with Elena and Grato’s violent crashing, the thunder roared loud, matching Kheelan’s pulse that raced under my hands that clutched his chest. In the distance, I watched the clouds fall, wrapping our bodies in fog. Beneath me, Kheelan grew blistering cold, the ground suddenly covered in frost. Lastly, showing him Ivan in the Temple of Truth, I snapped our connection. Kheelan's glamour dissolved from his body as black smoke. Thrusting me off of him, he floated to his feet, his long hair whipping around him.

Elena and Grato exploded from their tornadoes, each landing on their respective sides.  Their funnels dissipated instantly, swallowed back into the frozen clouds. Blinded, everyone stood still, the sound of nothingness painful, terrifying. Beside me, a barely visible Elena panted. Bloodied, she looked up, but not to me. Following her gaze, she looked to Kheelan who glowed in the mist, a gilded angel with a distant razor sharp stare. He moved his hands in a strange pattern, tracing invisible symbols in the air. It was slow and fluid, a haunting dance.  Lost to his mind, he moved his hands before him, above him in a synchronicity that was so perfect it was frightening.  I was scared to say anything.  It didn’t seem like the time or place to meditate, but instincts told me his dance was much more. Suddenly the temperatures plummeted, crystalizing my suspicions. A small movement then caught my attention, all speculation confirmed. A single snowflake glistened before my eyes, its beautiful edges unnaturally sharpened. In the mist, the particles of water twisted into icy daggers. Kheelan’s dance was a call to his element to obey him, and it did. With his millions of speared raindrops, Kheelan was setting for mass annihilation. One more rotation of his hands and Kheelan stood fatally still.

“Don’t be foolish Kheelan,” Mirad’s voice echoed from across the fogged and frozen plain between us, “she’s just a girl, a human girl—a traitor.”

Kheelan blew out a breath, parting the fog, a path directly to Mirad appearing. His world of icy daggers suspended all around us, Kheelan asked “Where does your allegiance lay, Mirad?”

Mirad scoffed. “Listen to yourself! Her father killed your father. Now the daughter is responsible for your mother’s death, and still you mean to protect her? You don’t want to do this. We have fought together, bled together, we are brothers in the fight—I know you. You can't kill me, you won't. Join me, brother! You know I'm right. Join me.” Mirad, who flicked two orbs of fire in his palms, didn't realize he was already in an glacial tomb.

Kheelan remained frozen, his jaw clenching. The snowflake sparkling before my eyes in Kheelan’s light seemed to melt and reshape itself.  Kheelan was struggling, and when he spoke, I understood why. “I gave my word to protect her, and will fight to the death to honor my word, to honor my brother.  I will give you one last chance to die with honor, however little of it is left. Let the last words from your mouth be the truth. Where does your allegiance lay?”

“Once all of Faerie finds out who she is, that she is the key to breaking this pathetic veil between our worlds, they will join Xanthus! Every Fae remembers how the humans betrayed us, how they used us for our powers then turned against us. I am one of those Fae,” Mirad roared, murder dripping from black fangs. “At first she was rumored to be but a myth, a legend to make us all believe that one day we would get our revenge on the humans. She is no myth! Alistrina means to kill her to protect her precious humans; Xanthus means to use her for what she was made to be, for our revenge! That is where my loyalties lie, with the one who will end it all.”

There was a moment of complete and utter silence where the world held its breath, the mournful song of violent winds whipping around us. Then, before a breath, I was surrounded by ash, the rolling fog swirling remnants of dead faeries around us. Kheelan fell to his knees and with his falling tears, the skies opened and it began to rain.

 *

 A stretch of time after, the rain beat against us, cold and hard, a reminder of what was to come. I stood behind Kheelan until the white dust danced its last pirouette from the ground. He didn’t say anything to me even after he’d shed his tears. I didn’t say anything either, but I looked at him.  He didn’t look at me. And he didn’t make it stop raining. All we had was cold, rain, and silence.  

 “Kheelan, I’m sorry,” the words tumbled from my mouth. It probably wasn’t the best time, or place…or time. Without a word, Kheelan stood and turned, his face bleak as the intruding fog. He paused for a second, a hesitation of having something to say.

But, “We need to go,” were the extent of his words, a long exhale fueling his steps away from me toward the car where Elena waited.  Sliding into the driver’s seat, he slammed the door and the car roared to life. That was my cue.

I walked—well, limped back to the car where an equally beat up Elena held the door open for me.

“Give him time,” she whispered, sliding into the passanger seat. I sat in the back. As soon as my door slammed, Kheelan’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his jaw clenching. Jerking the shift to drive, the wheels screeched and we were off.

Destination: Unknown.

 **

We pulled off into a wooded area somewhere after driving for a long time. Yeah, there had been destination signs along the way, but sometime after Denver, I just started tuning them out. The faster we got to our destination, the faster there would be more fighting, more death. I simply closed my eyes and forgot we were ever going to stop. The days had, after a while, bled into the nights, until I no longer knew what day it was, what hour.  Cities passed in smears of color, save for stops for gas, or food when my grumbling stomach got too loud to ignore.   There had been no time for fluffy reconciliations, for reflections over everything that had happened, and sadly no time for apologies—well, there was time, just no desire. I had no desire to say a word, the guilt too strong. Kheelan had no desire to say anything to anyone. The only one with any desire had been Elena. I’ll hand it to her. She tried. She’d comment on passing towns, or billboards, or about the weather. Because the silence in the car was uncomfortable, or because she actually cared, I don’t know. But, sadly, breaking the ice when someone is completely frozen over is a waste of time, and Kheelan was subzero. After a few failed attempts, she stopped trying and we all settled into silence.

I didn’t blame him for not talking to me. I just wish he would. He could yell, or curse, or demand I explain myself—something, anything. But there had just been silence. And while I could deal with Ivan and his moods, it was always Kheelan that hurt me the most.

Kheelan shut off the car. “Gather what you need. We walk the rest of the way.” It was nice to hear his voice. Kheelan got out of the car, cold air sweeping in through the open door. Shutting it behind him with a gentleness that reminded me of the old Kheelan, he walked to a clearing off in the distance. Stopping, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, tilted his head back, swirls of smoke puffing from his lips.

“You need to talk to him, you know?” Elena stared out at Kheelan, the glass growing foggy, “He needs you.” I pretended not to hear, instead dug into my duffel bag for another sweatshirt, and a scarf. “Charlotte—”

“I know, okay?” I snapped, frustration heavy, “I know I need to talk to him, I know I need to apologize. But it doesn’t matter what I have to say because I’m the last person he wants to talk to.”

“Which is exactly why you need to talk to him. You two have a lot to discuss and it’s better to do it now, rather than when we have an army looking for us, don’t you think?”

“There’s never a good time for what we need to hash out. Besides, weren't you the one that said give him time? That's what I'm giving him. I’ll just give him his space and wait until he’s ready,”

“You’re going to wait until he’s ready? We both know this isn’t about him being ready. It’s about you not being ready. But guess what, it isn’t about you. If it’s awkward or uncomfortable to talk to him, then so be it. Yes, I did say give him time, but it's been five days, it's time for you to say something. Not for nothing, but you’re partly responsible for killing his mother. And he killed his brother for you, yet, you expect him to make the first move? As much as I don’t like you, even that is below you. He has all the right to be angry and you should be the one talking to him.”

Leave it to Elena to make me feel worse. But, she was right. Not bothering to reply, I forced myself out of the car without thinking. If I thought of it, I could come up with over a thousand excuses to stay inside that car, one of them a really good excuse. The only shoes I had were canvas sneakers. Not exactly fit for snow.  But trudging toward Kheelan as my feet succumbed to frost bite, I chalked it off to atonement and pushed on.

My steps were heavy; I could hardly keep my knees from buckling. The closer I got to Kheelan, the harder it became.  Reaching him, warmth crept up my neck, overtaking my face. “Hi,” I tried, my voice faltering. Kheelan said nothing.  I didn’t know what to do, what to say.  Cowardice told me to leave. I moved closer. “You hate me, I know. If I could take back what I did,”

“Don’t,” he clipped contemptuously. His face set hard, he shook his head.

 “Kheelan, please, I’m trying,”

“You’re trying?” His acidic tone echoed all around us, snow falling from the surrounding trees. “My mother died for you. My brother—I killed him, for you.  I just slayed Fae who were like brothers to me, who I’ve fought beside, for you, and you’re telling me that you’re trying? I am the one that’s trying,” He jammed fingers into his chest, yet, it hurt as if he did it to me.  “I’m trying to see the good in all of this. I’m trying to understand how everything I’ve been taught to believe, alliances I’ve been raised to honor are gone because of you. You’ve wiped them away as if they never existed. I want to understand it and I can’t. Since meeting you, it’s been a war, after a war, and now I just don’t know anything anymore. I no longer know,” he cut himself off, raking a hand through his hair, squeezing the golden locks before his hands fell lifeless at his sides.

I couldn’t bare the agony in his stare, the confusion, or his words. He said he didn’t know anything anymore, but I was certain I knew what he was feeling, because at one point I felt it too. “I wanted to give up on myself too, so I understand. You don’t have to fight for me anymore.” The words clawed at my throat, breathing a chore. “Whatever oath you made to Ivan, you upheld it, you kept me alive. You can go back to Hillenia, say you lost me or that I escaped…you don’t have to stay.” I wanted to meet his eyes to reinforce the conviction of my words. I didn’t.

The wind whispered past, the bare vines scratching against each other.  Kheelan exhaled. “That’s not what I meant,”

“No, please. I get it. I wouldn’t want to fight for me either and you’re not obligated to. You never were. I never asked you to. Not you, not Elena, not Ivan. When Maris first manifested, I begged Ivan to leave me. But, he didn’t. He healed me, and then you came, and then everything started happening to me, all around me, and I had no control over any of it. I never wanted this duty, destiny, curse—whatever you want to call it. But it’s mine. I have it. You don’t. Go. You’re free of me. Pretend like this nightmare never happened, like I never existed.  You just tell me which way to go, and I’ll turn around and leave, and—”

“I’ll follow you.”

My eyes shot to Kheelan who turned to face me. “I will follow you, and protect you for as long as it takes.”

 “But you just said,”

“I didn’t say anything, love. You set off on your monologue all on your own,” he chuckled solemnly, but the smile faded just as quickly. “What I was going to say was that ever since meeting you it’s been a war, and because of you, I no longer know what side I’m fighting for.”

I hugged myself tighter, trying to fight off the slight hope swelling at the pit of my stomach. “So, you’re not leaving?”

Kheelan shook his head a little, but enough for hope to blur my vision. Pulling my sleeve, he brought me close and buried his nose in my hair, “I was angry at you, at Ivan, at everyone, but understand me.  I’ve honored the Seelie with my life for all of my life. Then I met you, and nothing is black and white anymore. Lines I shouldn’t have crossed, I have. Things I shouldn't have done, I did. Feelings I shouldn’t have, I do,” Kheelan ran a finger down my cheek, trailing a droplet of water, “Everything is gray.”

I understood him, well, most of it. I didn’t pretend to know exactly what he was feeling but I knew one thing for certain, “Walk in gray then, with me. I’m not doing this over some code. I’m doing this to protect those I love. Whether that makes me Seelie, or Unseelie, it doesn’t matter—not anymore. My code is love. I believe what is in my heart. Ivan is in my heart, you are in my heart, my father, Stacy—this world. That is who I’m fighting this war for. And though I don’t know half of what I’m doing, I need you to trust me. I’m learning, and I will make mistakes, but I need you—all of you. Don’t stay because you gave Ivan your word to protect me, because you feel obligated. Stay because you want to. Do this for those you love. I would never ask you to choose between Seelie and Unseelie, but there’s middle and I’m there, at gray. Choose me.”

Kheelan was quiet for a moment. A lifetime of Seelie teachings and this human emotion of love warred in his stare. Closing the space between us, he cupped his hand above mine. A cold breeze whirled within the closed space of our joined hands and removing his, there was a rose made of ice. “You never asked me, you didn't have to. I chose you a long time ago,” Lowering his hand, he stepped back, his eyes flicking over my shoulder.

 “So you’ve made up, I see.” Elena walked around us. Clutching the rose to my chest, I turned away from her. There was nothing to be ashamed of, I just didn't want to give Elena any ammo. She sighed, “At least that’s settled, now what?”

“The crossing is up ahead, just through those trees. Mirad had us going to a crossing that would have taken us to the lands of Tarshish. This one will take us just outside of Gri’ah, the water kingdom of the South,” Kheelan revealed. Elena and I looked at one another fleetingly, knowingly.

“Can we trust them?” I asked.

“No, but we have three things on our side. Xanthus will think you are still in the human realm. There isn’t anyone to tell him otherwise. Also, the Griahns aren’t expecting me. By the time word spreads to Hillenia that I was in Gri’ah, we’ll be long gone. But most of all; they don’t know who you really are.  As long as you can keep your powers under control and your identity a secret, we’re safe. We’ll stay a few days, gather some information, and come up with a plan,” Kheelan’s lips twisted to a smile, finally. “We’re going to be okay, trust me.” I held the rose tighter, the cold burning my hand and returned the smile.

His smile deepening, Kheelan took the duffel bag from Elena and started for the tunneled trees, Elena beside him. I lingered behind for an added moment. I needed that moment, in my world, surrounded by absolute peace and untouched beauty. Though another world waited for my arrival, I stood in the snowy clearing for that second, lifted my eyes, and smiled, because though darkness waited to devour me in Faerie, in that moment, on earth, the clouds parted and I saw the sun.

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Wow, the last chapter, finally! Thank you guys SO MUCH! Writing this story was something I wanted to do for a long time. I took the risk and you all embraced it so again, thank you!

As always, please comment and vote, I'd love to hear your thoughts of the end.

Also, join the FB fan page, external link on the right. I'll be posting the working cover for book 2 on there soon so you'll want to check it out!

This book needs a major edit, but I hope you enjoyed it.  You can find Book 2 called Faethfully Yours: Unbound here on Wattpad. I hope you enjoy it as well!

Thank you so, so much!

<3Monica