Settling into his arms, I closed my eyes and let his heartbeats soothe me. It really was regrettable that I hadn't been bound to him. He was the type of support I needed from a mate and I didn't even need to ask him for it.  The warmth he radiated mixed with the constant rhythm of his heart seemed to bring everything into perspective. It was all really happening, and it only seemed to be starting. 

Braving the answer, I opened my mouth, "So what happens now?"

Shaking his head on mine, he sighed "I'm at a loss Charlie.  When I was sent here, Queen Alistrina sent me with a message of sanctuary...but I don't know if that will be the case once she learns of your baggage..."

Baggage? Didn't he mean curse?

"But what if I do nothing?" I offered, fully knowing it wasn't an option.

He was quiet for a moment, as if actually thinking it over but then he stiffened, "We can't risk it. Maris is dangerous and being near the Queen might do something to bring her out-"

"No, I don't mean going to your Queen...our queen...." I started, stumbling on my words. It still felt so weird accepting all of it. I was a Fae, I had a Queen...

"I mean, what if I don't do anything at all? Ivan bound Maris so she isn't a problem anymore. What if I just have my own powers bound too and stay here, in Shongopovi--"
"Charlotte, denial isn't an ally right now. Your being bound to Maris is no accident. Whoever did it spent a hell of a lot of time and trouble getting it right. They will come for you and it will be a matter of time until they break through the barriers in this place...Trust  me, whoever is powerful enough to bind Maris to you will eventually get in. We can't afford to not do anything--"

"How touching" a cold, sarcastic voice cut through our embrace. Pulling back, Ivan stood a few feet away but might as well been breathing in my face by how forceful he stared, not at me though.   Never moving his eyes from Kheelan, he smirked icily, "So tell me Kheelan, did she glamour you into holding her too...guess she doesn't know she can only bind herself to one brother..."

 "Cool it Ivan, let her explain..." Kheelan warned.

 "Let her go..." Ivan's angry eyes lowered, focusing on Kheelan's arms which still held me against his side while I gripped tightly at his shirt.  His jaw clenched and lowering my eyes, his fists followed suit.

Kheelan sighed, "Ivan-"

"I said let her go..." he growled lowly. His gray eyes swirled with a darkness that was unsettling. It was a physical darkness, almost like a smoke, "Release her!"
"Please don't" I gripped Kheelan tighter, but taking my hands from his shirt, Kheelan stepped back, "I'm so sorry Charlie...he's your common now...I have no rights to you"

Reaching for him mentally to practically beg, I got nothing....then Ivan chuckled,

"He isn't allowed to do that either...only I have access to you now" he taunted with a sadistic coldness, "though I doubt that'll keep you from throwing yourself on every human and sidhe from here to Hillenia..."

".....Just as long as it's not you" I snipped rigidly.  Finally looking at me, his scowl dropped into that of shock. What did he think? I was going to sit around and let him insult me endlessly?

Gazing back at him with the same intensity, I didn't notice Elena walk up beside him until she spoke.

"So..." she glanced at Kheelan and then at Ivan, never once at me. What the hell was it with people thinking me invisible? 

"What's the plan?"  She asked unamused.

Resuming his scowl, he turned to Elena, "You need to go clean up the mess at the hospital...some people will need to be persuaded into forgetting the mess this one made..." he motioned his head in my direction. I knew what that meant all too well.  A few people needed their memories influenced...altered to forget me.

"You go with Elena" he ordered Kheelan, "make sure her doctor remembers discharging her...everyone else should have a hazy memory but nothing concrete...understood? Robert said his men will go with you and take care of all surveillance tapes...that should about cover it. I'm going to meet with the tribal leaders and answer whatever questions they may have....Robert seems to think they'll be lenient. We'll then gather back at my place to sort out this chaos..." he ran his hands through his face, letting it cup his mouth before falling lifeless at his sides.  His fusion marks looked so beautiful against his pale skin....but he seemed to have aged since our fusion. I guess that's what ghosts do to you...

Kheelan and Elena nodded, then there was a loaded silence.  All of us seemed to be thinking the same thing until I finally dared Ivan's wrath and asked, "A...a...and what about me?"

He paused, but didn't answer, focusing solely on Kheelan and Elena, "you two should get going--daylight's approaching and shadowing will be impossible..."
Stealing a glance at me, Kheelan turned to Ivan "Ivan, you can move as fast as I can. Why don't you go and I can take Charlie home--"
"You've done enough" he answered sharply, "She's my mistake, let me deal with it"

"Mistake? What's your problem?!" I snapped, unable to contain it any longer, "Why can't you just let me explain-"

Elena scoffed, "You have some nerve asking anything of him Charlotte or Maris or whoever the hell you are...I told him you were a mistake! He should've let you rot in your own blood you fake! But I must applaud you really..." she chuckled coldly, "You really had the whole damsel in distress thing down. But trust me, even if he refuses to kill you, I have all intentions of doing so-"she charged at me but Kheelan yanked her back.

"I didn't trick you him you bitch!" I blindly countered her charge when surprisingly Ivan held me back...still refusing to look at me. God, the only thing I felt was my blood surging in my veins from his touch when his scent instantly intensified. Looking down at his hands, his fusion marks almost glimmered with a reddish hue...he felt it too. 

Quickly his hands dropped, "Charlotte-"

"Ivan, look at me!" I demanded but he refused, opting for the view over my shoulder, "I didn't even know she was inside of me. This all started happening on my birthday and then it just snowballed and...." My voice cracked. He wanted to believe me, I could see the hesitation in his eyes. His jaw tightened in frustration and I wanted to reach over and soothe him. Sweeping thoughts of our fusion swirled into my mind but I fought them because having him there and his smell did things to me I couldn't even describe. It seemed to have the same effect on him as he squeezed his eyes tightly. I was getting through, I needed to continue.

"I'm scared Ivan, okay? What is it that you want me to say? What do you need me to say to make you believe me?  That day in the classroom, you didn't let me die. You healed me and bound her and took me to the hospital and sat with me....You saw something in me then, why can't you just see that again? I still need you all the same..." I hadn't realized my hands were pressed on his chest until he lowered them...

"Because..." he finally looked at me with eyes swirling in confusion, "seeing you there glowing...God, you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on ...now I can't even bring myself to look at you..."

"It's still me! You chose me! You bound to me!" I pulled his arm to mine, "Dammit Ivan! She didn't make those vows, I did! And so did you!"

The confusion in his eyes remained....The same way it had been when we fused. He wanted to believe me....I needed him to believe me....

Sighing deeply as if reaching a moment of clarity or of compromise, he opened his mouth-

"Don't fall for it Ivan" Elena injected, devouring all confusion. Ivan instantly shut his mouth and before I could even say anything, he turned around and walked away.

"Jesus...." Kheelan muttered behind me but my eyes remained glued to the solemn figure with tattooed arms, walking away.

With an equal seethe, Elena walked past me, jogging up to catch him. I could've broken her in half...but I was done.

"He'll come around Charlie..." Kheelan assured, walking up behind me, "I'll handle Elena....but you just keep talking to him and when we meet back up, we'll explain everything to him okay?" he gave my shoulder a squeeze and walked ahead to Elena. Sighing, I threw my head one last time before pushing my steps back to the real world.

***

In all the years I lived in Shongopovi, I'd never noticed how rocky the roads were. The whole ride was a treble and a rumble of rocks being smashed underneath. It was like a comical backdrop for everything that was going by unsaid in the black car.

Kheelan and Elena disappeared into the night at the barn and...husband was stuck driving me home. At first I thought it was a good idea as it would give us time to sort things out but the silence between us was consuming. I'd attempted to talk a few times but he didn't say much. Aside from asking me for my address...everything was...quiet...

 Ivan drove fast...really fast and I almost didn't mind was it not for the fact that I more than likely had an APB out for my arrest. The constant thought of being a fugitive clenched my stomach--

"Relax" Ivan snipped, "Kheelan and Elena know what they're doing..."

My head shot to him. Could it be? He finally spoke to me and it wasn't an insult?

I never doubted them I thought focusing my attention back on the soul stirring beauty outside of my window. Pink and purple rolled throughout the sky weaving in and out of wispy clouds. My soul longed for the openness spread out with the promise of morning. I always found such peace in those in-betweens. In between day to night and night to day...between peace and a storm. I guess God knew we'd all need a moment of peace and beauty before it all got lost in the business of the coming day or the uncertainty of the night. I was grateful though, because without it, I could have never shaken the darkness that I experienced the prior night. 
 

"Could've fooled me" Ivan tossed back. Having forgotten he had access to my thoughts, he more than likely overheard all my thoughts, yet when I searched for his thoughts...I got nothing. Leaning against the window, I purposely thought of a brick wall. A nice, big, red brick wall. I even imagined some graffiti and it read, "Screw You"

 Within seconds, Ivan chuckled coldly and pushed down further on the gas. Bastard. I really wished there was some way I could show him that I didn't trick him into binding with me but it didn't matter. He would still find some other way to blame me anyway.
 
The town came into view and we were in it just as quickly as my pinks and purples became a sea of blue. Pulling up at my house, it looked so different. Almost as if it were someone else's home. That's because it was.  The last time I walked from those doors I was a regular eighteen year old with nothing on my mind besides what my best friend would say about my drastic haircut.  Returning I was a nut job Faerie with a common who hated me and an unknown person looking for me, more than likely to kill me....Oh right and there was Sam and his men too...yeah, that wasn't my house anymore.

My father wasn't home...he hardly ever was but I'd still kind of hoped you know? Maybe see his shiny Lexus parked outside...

At the risk of sounding crazy, the house looked sad. I almost felt like a burglar sitting outside and watching it the way I did.
 
"What are you waiting for?" Ivan sighed absently, without even the slightest glance. And again, it got to me. I don't know if these were Maris' emotions or mine, or both but I didn't want them anymore. Without a word, I slammed the car door and ran to my front door. Retrieving the spare from behind a flower pot, I heard Ivan speed off. He didn't even wait...

Pushing back the pitiful tears, I opened the door and entered my humble home hoping to find some comfort in the pieces of my old life.
 

 ***

Ivan

 When he thought he was going too fast, he pushed down on the gas further. He needed to get away from her. His body called for her and felt her body call for him. But he fought it and distanced himself further and further, faster and faster. 

There was almost something different about being in his human skin...something toxic. He couldn't make it out. But whatever it was, suffocated him beyond control. Slamming the breaks, the car shrieked to a sudden stop.
 Air. He needed air. Stepping out onto the desert road, Ivan gasped, hauling in as much oxygen as his human body could withhold.  It was no longer just guilt haunting him....but disgust and disdain at his own self and together, they threatened to kill him slowly and torturously. 

 Slamming the hood of the car, he cursed. She didn't trick him and he knew it...but they were bound and Maris was within her..... God what a mess.

Releasing a deafening roar, he fell to his knees. His conscience blared that he should have let her die, that he should have let Maris kill Charlotte and it would all be over....

But she knew, he thought with a cold chuckle, Maris knew he wouldn't let Charlotte die. That only brought about a bigger question that flooded Ivan's mind: Whoever bound Maris to Charlotte knew he wouldn't let her die...but how? Only Sages could predict a linking of commons but...it was forbidden magic. Death would surely befall any who even dared dabble in the dark arts. But someone had, Ivan agreed, and they succeeded.

Squeezing his eyes, he knelt in the center of the road. 

Charlotte, he thought with a long exhausted sigh.  The memory of her reddened blue eyes swirled into his head, how scared she was while fusing but how devastatingly beautiful....and vulnerable...and trusting.  He groaned. She was innocent and good and pure...he didn't deserve her.

 An approaching car honked, but Ivan simply motioned for them to go around.  Around or over, he didn't care, but he refused to move.  Sighing, he dragged himself back to his thoughts. She was a child and she was alone. Even so, she was strong, he thought with a smile. With everything going on, she fought with them, listened to them and never once argued or fell apart... And she'd saved him. She'd killed for him and he threw it in her face...

 The cold desert wind dragged his mind to their fusion in an instant. Remembering her cool mist sweeping over him sent his blood bursting through his veins. He could almost taste her,  smell her. Pressing his fists to his eyes, he recalled her giving herself wholly and he rejected her...calling her a whore.

 
Cursing repeatedly he dropped his hands to let the sun burn his crystal skin. The golden sun that reminded him of when he first laid eyes on her in all her brilliance. Her glowing beauty...and all that beauty belonged to him. 

Tugging his hair, he sat up. Maybe he had spent too much time under. The human emotions were becoming a nuisance. Why did Queen Alistrina care about humans so much anyway, always wanting to dig deeper into their feelings?  

He scoffed. She could have his human feelings; he thought but quickly retracted the selfish notion. Queen Alistrina couldn't have his feelings because in having his feelings then she could have Charlotte. And she couldn't have Charlotte, he decided. Charlotte was his common and he vowed his life to her. She deserved to have his truth and above all she his honor and his loyalty....
 
Rising quickly, Ivan jumped back into his car with one thought only: Charlotte. Driving at an alarming speed, he used what glamour he needed to avoid detection and floored the gas. The closer he got to her, the more intense his own need became. His skin burned in yearning and he wanted nothing more than to solidify their union once and over again all the while apologizing and vowing each promise repeatedly. He would use all power to control Maris, and they would go to Queen Alistrina and ask to have Maris unbound from Charlotte...but first she had to train. He would help Charlotte get stronger and be able to control Maris...who was equally strong. Sighing, he nodded. It was settled. He would train Charlotte and prepare her for their return to Hillenia.
 
Reaching her house, the desperation did not alleviate. Climbing her porch steps, he lifted a clenched fist to knock...but stopped.   Perhaps she was sleeping...

Against his normal judgement, Ivan glanced around, making sure the coast was clear and snuck to her backyard. Standing close to the house, he closed his eyes and dissolved into the shade offered by the two story home. Slowly rising like a black mist, he noticed pink curtains drawn tightly though the window remained open a crack. Perfect, he smirked, slowly sliding inside. 

The room was dark. Furnished sparsely with a simple sleigh bed, a matching mahogany dresser and few posters on the walls. One of U2 and another of The Cure. Ivan smiled; his favorites. Noting the empty bed, he swept quickly through the room towards the door when his eyes were caught by the two distinct sounds.  One being a running shower....the other, whimpering. 

Brushing to the adjacent door within the room, the light was on. Crap. Hovering over the crack in the door avoiding all light, Ivan froze.  Sitting in the middle of the shower was a shaking Charlotte scrubbing viciously at her fusion marks, sobbing with each harsh swipe. He closed his eyes, the sound of her pain lacerating him. He did it. He put her there.  Braving the guilt, he opened his eyes once more and watched as Charlotte sluggishly stood, turned off the water and wrapped a nearby towel about her shaking body. 

 Leaving a trail of crimson droplets with each whispering step, Charlotte reached her bed, lying down and curling into herself like a child. Ivan's heart thundered, the guilt eating at his shadow as if flesh. With each hitched breath, he cringed with a paralyzing guilt.  
 
She was crying and he was sure he was the reason. But what hurt him the most was that she cried alone. Never was one to endure the transition from a budling to a Fae without guidance and help from other Fae.... Queen Alistrina often held a ceremony on each of the solstices to celebrate the transition, but Charlotte would never experience the pleasure of the occasion. But even more painfully, Ivan recalled Charlotte's words to Kheelan...

 ...the guy holds the girl, even if for a minute...

 He settled low on the floor, feeling even lower. He was to blame. Wholly.

Hearing her breathing finally steady, one last sniffle marked her ease into a deep slumber. Sweeping across to the floor, he lingered solemnly by her bed.  What on earth had he done?  Trailing his eyes on her pale skin, his mist quivered looking at her reddened arms. She scrubbed so hard, yet the black marks remained....as they would always. 

 Watching her chest rise and fall, he admired her gentle beauty. Her black lashes nestled upon her reddened cheeks. Her soaked hair of blond and black all in different directions only added to her rarity. She looked as peaceful as he'd ever seen her, bringing a slow smile to his lips. She was his. His mate. His common. In the strangeness that was their newly formed union, he felt he loved her more than was imaginable.

 Smiling, he realized that everything he ever believed in lay before him. Remembering the code that all Seelie Faeries lived by, he saw each one personified in Charlotte.

 Beauty is life...he thought, believing charlotte possessed all the beauty he'd ever need...

Never forget a debt...how could he? She had saved his life...

Love conquers all...he loved her more than anything...he would fight to the end for her...

Death before dishonor...

Whispering the last code, he stopped.  That last code ruined his world once before. he chose to kill Maris before dishonoring his Queen. It ruined his love...ruined his life...But looking down at Charlotte an even more unsettling thought lingered close...

 Death before dishonor...

 That would be fairly easy to obey, if only he knew where his honor lay...

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<3 Thanks for reading.

I posted these together because if not, they would be 3 really short chapters.

Not too sold on them yet but maybe i'll go back and edit.

As always, Vote & comment!