Chapter 9

"Correct," he said a shade gloomier than before, "Or so we thought."

The eerie sensation that things were heading towards a very undesirable conclusion nudged at me. It felt so much like watching a horror movie where you yell at the protagonist that she's being an idiot and that the monster is right around the corner. Well it was much like that just instead of a monster; it was an answer that lay in wait.  

Swallowing all fear, I turned the corner, "What do you mean you thought? Either she's dead or she isn't...right?"

"Right, just if we follow that logic and she were dead, the veil between our realm and the human world would have collapsed. Obviously hasn't happened as humans still inhabit this world," he said coolly, "We still have to wait for the various solstices and portal openings in order to travel between our worlds. "

"Well then what's the problem? She isn't dead. That's good-"

"Not entirely.  Not when she's missing. After Ivan--" he paused sharply then cleared his throat, "We just aren't sure where she is" he said with a questionable finality.  

"That's not what you were going to say" I blurted. I don't know where the authority came from, but there was a different ending to his sentence and so much rested on it. I didn't care if I had to beat it out of him, "After Ivan what?"

He shifted uncomfortable, tuning the radio on, "It's not important right now--"  

I turned it off," Don't!" I snipped, slamming my fist into my thigh. A swirl of the most vicious anger soared through me but I swallowed deeply. It wasn't connected to my strange abilities. It was simply the basic white hot anger felt by a human who was tired of the secrets, of the neglect and of feeling alone. In blinding frustration, I reached over and turned the steering wheel towards the side of the road. He quickly slammed his foot on the breaks, sending us into a spinning sudden stop.  

"Are you insane?!--"  

"Yes! Apparently so!" I countered, louder than was necessary but loud enough to release all the pain and anger. It wasn't just in reaction to the lack of answers in our little exchange. That was frustrating in its own right. What tipped me was the lack on answers in general. And furthermore it was knowing that what I once held as true, wasn't.  It was the sudden realization that for eighteen years, my life had been a lie.

"I'm insane! I'm crazy! I'm--" the knot in my throat collapsed, sending me to girlish tears. My will to breathe vanished and I struggled for air. Pushing open the door, I ran out into the cold desert. After few steps, I collapsed onto the sandy ground that instantly became muddy with my unwelcome tears.  The shadow man didn't follow, but instead drove the car to the side of the road. Guess he didn't want to have the guilt of another dead person on his conscience. He then came to me, and did what I needed most....sat beside me and didn't say a word.  

I knew the urgency of the situation. We were probably being followed after our little stunt at the hospital....but I needed more answers before I took another step. I refused. I would sit there until something gave, whether it were the answers I needed or being swallowed up by the cold.  I don't know how long I sat there but finally my horrible sobs simmered.

Regaining some of my composure, I sat back and stretched my legs before me like a child. Looking over at Kheelan who sat in a similar fashion, I shook my head.  

"Is this a dream?" I shrugged shyly. He released a sigh that was saturated with sympathy and compassion and remorse and said-- "I'm sorry love....it's all real"  

And there it was, in a nutshell. I looked away quickly, feeling the tears swelling back. Did I really think he would answer any different?  Somewhere, the immature girl in me hoped he would have while the woman I was being forced to become yelled at her to grow up.

"Look Charlotte--"  

"I don't even know you're name" I cut him off with a misplaced laugh as I gathered nearby stones into piles, for no reason at all.  

"Kheelan" he replied as soft as his name sounded.  

I sniffled with a slight laugh, "That's a really pretty name.  But as luck would have it, not only do you have a pretty name but you also happen to be absolutely beautiful and nice but then you're also the one telling me I'm some killer faerie...Fate is having a ball with me"  

"Don't say that darling--well I'll take the compliments" he laughed, nudging me sideways with his body, "but you're not a killer faerie.....you're a Faerie and that's nothing to be ashamed of. What you're going through, we've all gone through. The hunger, the uncontrollable powers, the confusion....we've all experienced it. Just back in our world, we have guides who will usher all Fae from infancy. You never had that."  

I shrugged, knocking over the tower of stones I so carelessly built. If he only knew I'd never had anyone guide me through anything at all, period.  

He continued, "For some reason your powers were dormant and just now flourished. We need to find out why..."  

"How? We don't even know what all my powers are" I simmered in pessimism.  

"Well first we need to get to Ivan--"  

"No" I objected quickly dragging myself from the ground.  Kheelan followed suit as I walked back to the car. 

"Ivan is a sage, Charlotte. He'll know where to start--"  

"I said no all right! He won't want to see me! The last time I saw him, I--" I bit my lip.

Kheelan's brow arched questionably, "Seems like I'm not the only one holding puzzle pieces then Princess?" he smirked, "Tell you what. Let's find Ivan--"  

"I said--"  

"Ah, ah!" he raised his hand to silence me, "We'll find Ivan and then we'll all sit down and sort out everything. No secrets, no lies, no tears..." he said gently wiping away my lingering tears. His touch sent whispering cooling effect through my body, tingling as it traveled through my veins and untangled all my tense nerves. Everything eased until distinct smell of the ocean surrounded me, calling me to abandon all reservations. Leaning into his hand, I could faintly hear the distant waves but just like that, they were gone. Opening my eyes that I hadn't realized I'd closed, I met Kheelan's piercing gaze and gentle grin.  

"Better?" he barely said, sweeping renegade hairs from my forehead.

 I nodded, "What was that?" I breathed, barely able to form a sentence. Opening my door, he helped to my seat seeing as my knees were jelly and buckled my seat belt. In the state I was in, having him that close threatened my prudish ways.  

"Just a bit of Faerie healing...why? Would you like some more?" he asked in my mind all the while smiling widely.

Sluggishly, I rejected the offer instantly realizing the danger of his beauty and his healing. Both called for complete abandon...of everything.  Making mental note to never allow that to happen again, I slurred, "Get out of my head"

"I thought you'd be ready to share those naughty thoughts with me now" he taunted and with a teasing chuckle made his way around the car. Sliding into his seat, he took a hold of my hand and placed a soft kiss on my palm.  

"Rest, love" he whispered, lowering my hand back down to my lap and in subconscious submission, I nestled back into my seat and closed my eyes...  

I barely slept. When I opened my eyes, we were driving through the sleeping town, nestled in complete silence. Kheelan attempted to make conversation informing me we were all to rendezvous at Elena's. The idea wasn't thrilling but neither was being on my own. And Ivan would be there which left me...I don't even know. What I did know was that the closer we got to Elena's house, the harder it got to form a sentence.  

Guilt was obviously a factor in my apprehension, but it was nothing next to my fear of rejection. Finally, I was a part of something. I had a strange, non-human circle of people like me. I was no longer the friend being invited for Christmas dinner because her father never came home for the holidays. I was no longer just a pretty girl...just a girl. I was a Faerie, with powers and people risking their lives to protect me...but I could lose it all. Elena was already skittish about me, Kheelan hardly knew me and was brother to the man I accused. So yes, all my answers unfortunately rested in the hands of my art teacher but so did the rest of my life.  

Biting my nail, I pushed the thoughts from my head, instead gazing at passing houses. I chuckled internally thinking of their inhabitants bundled in their beds, unaware of what had just happened. They would wake up the following morning; feeling a bit more refreshed than usual but would think nothing of it, maybe just that they were extra tired the night before.  

The car came to a sudden stop outside a two story building, near the outskirts of town. The area wasn't the greatest, especially not for a single woman but then again, Elena only appeared to be a woman. Crumbling brick walls lined most of the buildings while cardboard boxes, bottles, graffiti, and broken glass adorned the pavement. It had all the makings of a ghost town had it not been for the two huge flood lights on the building we parked in front of. The blinding light illuminated every nook and cranny as far as the eye could see.

Kheelan unbuckled his seatbelt then curiously stopped. Thinking nothing of it, I went to unbuckle myself when Kheelan shot across and stopped me.  

"Whatever you do, don't use your powers"  

Opening my mouth to speak, I swallowed my words when I noticed the barrel of a gun staring back at me through Kheelan's window.