"What have you done!" he growled, shaking me violently then thrusting me from him. Before I could blink, I painfully slammed onto the dusty barn floor.  

Kheelan's voice suddenly came back into hearing, "...of God"  

Wait...What? Gasping for air, and seeing Sam laying before Kheelan in the same position he was before it all started...I realized only a minute had passed.....  

Before I could process a thought, a firm hand yanked me to standing, shaking me violently, "What the hell have you done!" Ivan's angry eyes burned mine but I couldn't speak. Pushing against his chest, I tried to pry from his grip but his fingers dug deeper into my skin, "Tell me!" he roared, shaking me. Using all my strength, I ripped my arms from his hold and fell back. Scurrying back, he stormed to me but was suddenly pulled back.  

"Ivan! Calm down-" Kheelan moved between us holding his arms out but Ivan was like a manic animal. He stepped left, then right, trying to reach me. Struggling to my feet, I attempted to run, but Ivan pushed Kheelan out of the way and grabbed me by the hair, pulling me back. The pain hammered in my veins as his hand gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him but before he could say another word, the barn door slammed open. Tossing me to the ground, I hit my head against the wooden panel which sent my head into a dizzying spin. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. What was going on? 

Instantly Kheelan rushed to my side, pulling me into his arms. Thankfully, I was still dressed. I guess our bodies were never actually taken away...only our souls. But it didn't change anything... 

Smoothing my hair down, Kheelan held me tight against his body, helping me control my shivers. But it was no use. I trembled violently. The way Ivan looked at me, so full of repugnance and loathing, left me feeling so dirty. His silver eyes, so close to steel could have just as well devoured me. What the hell had I done? 

"Ivan!" Elena's voice ruptured his attention. Taking another minute to scowl further, Ivan turned to Elena who ran toward him. Behind her, an elderly man surrounded by other younger and armed men, entered. I moved closer toward Kheelan who murmured words against my head, but my hammering heart made everything inaudible. Elena said some words to Ivan then spun around slowly in disbelief. Her eyes immediately shot in my direction. Again she said something but through the sobs that unwillingly escaped me, and my ear pressed against Kheelan who covered the other, I didn't hear a thing.  

Rushing in my direction, she went to grab me but came to a sharp halt. Her eyes widened in a mix of shock, horror, disbelief and cold fury. She froze. I wasn't doing anything, and looking up at Kheelan, he looked at her with the same puzzling confusion. Only Ivan, who squeezed the bridge of his nose tightly, seemed to notice what it was that shocked her. 

Bringing a tight fist to her mouth, she shook her head slowly, "Tell me it was you Kheelan.....tell me you were dumb enough to.....to--" she couldn't finish her phrase and that's when it clicked. The way Kheelan held me exposed the back of my neck...and the marks that seared it. 

And looking at my hand that gripped Kheelan's shirt tightly, those damned marks peeked from underneath the jacket sleeve.  

"Kheelan!" she roared, "Tell me it was you!" Kheelan remained quiet. So did Ivan. Elena's midnight black eyes stabbed my skin with a hatred that was almost tangible. The silence between the two seemed to answer her question. Turning sharply, she stormed to Ivan and tore back his bloody sleeve. Gasping, she stumbled back, nearly collapsing.  

In the midst of it all, Sam cowardly ran to the group of me at the barn entrance, "Attack them! They tried to kill me! They killed a dozen of our men--" he pleaded, but no one moved. The elderly man within the middle of the men stepped forward and suddenly a slap rang through the air. Startled, I turned to see Sam bent over, nursing his cheek.  

Not enough....but he would get his. Of that I was sure. 

The elderly man said some words and two burly men stepped forward, each taking hold of one of Sam's arms and dragging him from the barn. The rest of the men looked utterly terrified and confused as they looked around the barn filled with remnants of clothing, weapons and piles of ash... 

And I had done it.... 

Elena and Ivan's arguing voices seeped back into hearing, "There has to be some mistake!" 

Ivan snarled drenched with denial and revulsion. His eyes took me in fully and it were almost like I was naked standing before him...and hated what he saw.  

Kheelan shot me a compassionate glance but I didn't want pity. I...gave myself. For the first time, I was open and vulnerable and undone...and he was disgusted. 

"You and I both know there are no mistakes when it comes to fusing Ivan!" Elena nearly burst, "and why didn't you stop them?!" she scowled at kheelan. Kheelan's look instantly darkened unlike anything I'd ever expect from someone so white and pure. 

"Fusing is sacred" he replied with a calm fury, lifting us both to our feet, "I would have forfeit my life if I dared go anywhere near the sacred light...and what for?" his chest rumbled, "Fusion doesn't just happen! It's predestined! And this was yours Ivan, whether you like it or not, she is your mate now, your common" 

Ivan glared at kheelan and I could almost feel the silent insults and threats they sent one another with their stares.  

Chuckling coldly, Ivan turned to me, "Why don't you tell them charlotte!" He stormed to me, but stopped short as Kheelan shifted me behind him.  

"Tell them who you really are! See if he'll defend you then!" he continued his tirade, "Tell them how this has all been a trick! Who sent you?! Was it Xanthus?! !" he roared. 

I wanted to talk, but what could I possibly say to make it all better? I couldn't fix this. He was a bastard and a liar, but he warned me to stop! And I didn't. 

"Calm down Ivan" Kheelan warned rigidly, "You're as much to blame--" 

"Bullshit! Tell the little wench to tell you!" Ivan's voice shook as if on the brink of snapping and setting fire to the place, "Charlotte isn't even your real name is it? I should've killed you, you little whore--" 

"Then why didn't you?!" I snapped, to my surprise. Enough was enough.  

"I thought I was healing you when....when it all started happening but you didn't stop me! As much as you want to blame me, I didn't fuse by myself!" 

Why did the phrase 'it takes two to tango' pop into my head? I always hated the phrase, but was anything more true? 

Feeling Kheelan's hands on my shoulders, I realized I had come from behind his back and was nearing Ivan. Letting his arms hold me back, I ripped off his jacket from my body, "You think I want this?!" I scratched the black marks, "You think I wanted to kill these men!" The memory of their bodies dissolving almost undoing me, "I don't even know what I am! I don't know who she is!" 

Elena stepped between Ivan and me, "What the hell are you two talking about?!"  

Roughly wiping his jaw, Ivan paced back, "Why don't you ask Maris here?" 

Maris? Who the hell was- 

"What did you just say?" Kheelan muttered from behind me, his hands tensing on my shoulders. Elena's eyes widened in shock but Ivan stayed focused on me. 

"That is your real name...isn't it?" he snipped callously. 

So that was her name. My own personal demon had a name...Maris. And that name sent Kheelan's arms falling from my shoulders. Turning around, he shook his head at me, not able to hold my gaze,  

"Dear god..." he muttered running his fingers through his whitish hair. 

"Kheelan, please I didn't-" I stepped toward him...but he stepped back. My heart shattered. Elena's rejection was expected and Ivan's denial was devastating....but Kheelan....Kheelan's rejection threatened to kill me. Biting my quivering lip, my hand fell lifeless to my side. I felt dirty enough as it was....but this was Kheelan, my only ally, literally turning away from me. Suddenly the weight of the world seemed to fall on my shoulders. 

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woo, these chapters are agonizing but this will all get sorted in the next 3 chapters once Charlotte starts training :) 

I actually have the next 2 chapters written.... oh and there are some niiiice kheelan moments (though I am a Ivan girl all the way) ...... 

hmmm, to upload or to torture...that is the question :) 

vote/fan/comment! 

xoxo