cw: this gets dark

=~=~=~=

I said the words, and I meant them, and now we can't grow far.

I cherished them, when I said them, and they burn in my night star.

If my keening lacks conviction, I apologize. It's my fault.

My soul is always dripping soggy with mirror scrape.

This blood, it shines with limerence. Poke me to shed a spark.

Keep not the needle timid--plunge your knife deep with hate.

I know I'm less than you wanted and always worse than you deserve.

I blubbered my best efforts at human; this worm, it squirms to serve.

My love, it binds me seething; all my drooling shapes no cocoon.

No mold catches my melt, nor chill give form from shiver.

In all my squelching midnight, my phonelight blared too soon.

Your tired groans of anguish? Welcomed. Embraced: shiny fetter.

I see how this looks from the outside and that's why I hid in shame.

I heard your words of sorry and accept that I'm to blame.

With those three words, I bound us:

those who love can never leave.

Without me, you're safe and sound. Just

don't show the heart you believe.

I am not proud of these ropes, nor the rust of these chains.

I can only say, "I'm hopeless." Making drama as it rains.

Your feet are bare out of care, I know how itchy socks'll be.

I paint them as a monument. Do you remember that day on carpet?

Do you still add a pinky of red? You used to. Not that I see

what you do now. It's all down to that beast you give your sonnets.

Were I a poem,

I'd be your pain.

I can pop like a blister

or weep like a sister.

This is your choice. You see?

In honesty, there is always conflict.

In trust, I give you voice.

Removing the rag.

See? It's not that bad.

You and me have this one kind moment.

Own it.

Or better yet, own me.

I'm not petty

or pretty.

You can be all the stars.

I your night,

he your light.

Just give me a taste of dusk.

It isn't lust.

I know,

this is about trust.

Of course, the ropes are optional. Those chains were a matter of convenience.

This blade is yours. This key--you're free to drive off and leave me; sullen beat.

Only know that I gave too much.

Inside, I'm all mulch;

there's no room for a seed.

I have no in-between.

I am a hole that you give purpose.

Were I to die, I'd die happy.

Knowing you gave what I need,

and I need whatever I need; as you say, it is so. So my needs are rarely, if ever, simply more than a glob of spit from your sweet lips. Will you scream to your hearts content?

You can be mad.

I...

I live with sad.

I am the bad.

You are the nail. I am the cross. Let your love puncture deep; only don't let me get lost.

I am found in your grace. If you leave, it is for the best.

But I'd rather you stay.

We have a game of red to play.