COLLATERAL DAMAGE
written by _callmesa

A girl in the shape of a monster,

Being a monster wasn't as hard as they all said.

Being a monster, hating came easily. You didn't think about it, you just did. Just like breathing, just like eating, just like punching the prison guard in the face every time they came to close. Just like hating all humans for making you feel like you weren't good enough to walk the same roads as them. Their stares burning trough your skin as you passed by. Their whispered insults reaching your ears loud clear.

Being also a girl, loving was easy. Simply holding hands, gifted flowers, small dates at the café. The first kiss shared between giggles, hiding from all the curious eyes of your friends. Shared glances from across the room, secrets whispered in the comfort of each others arms.

Being a girl, hating was hard. People used to reciprocate your smile, adding kind gestures here and there. Guys and girls held doors for you, they offered their things. Hating something or somebody hurt deeply inside, like your body rejected it. Like trying to swallow a sharp edged rock, big like your fist.

Being a monster, loving was hard. You didn't even remember clearly what it was. What was the difference between love and lust? Did it felt the same? Was there actually any differences at all? Who could ever feel something as pure as that when there is nothing but sins rotting inside of you?

Love, maybe it was just a story for little kids.

Maybe it was just chemicals.

Maybe that's why it didn't take you that long before  you found yourself buried between a pair of fluorescents arms, sharing kisses that tasted like burned toxins. Hiding feelings that felt like stones over your chest. Screaming matches happening more than one time per day.

You didnt remember how love felt like, but you knew it didn't use to be like that. It felt wrong to even compare the two. One reminded you of spring and freshly bloomed flowers, the other of being addicted and drinking alcohol first thing in the morning.

And nothing made you feel as good as that.

A monster in the shape of a girl.

YOURSELF  ✶  [Name] Vespera

ALAN TUDYK  ✶ Alexander James Sartorius.

&
THE REST OF THE CREATURE COMMANDOS
CHARACTERS AS THEMSELVES...

TRIGGER WARNINGS:
Addictions. Blood. Death. Gore. PTSD. Sex. Swearing. Torture. Toxic relationships. Much more.

DISCLAIMERS:

✶  ;  English isn't my first language so i'm sorry in advance for any mistakes that you will probably find.
✶  ;  I don't own the creature commandos serie but I do own my character and her back story.
✶  ;  The plot follows the serie but with some new parts added by me to understand better the characters' relationships.
✶  ;  The reader will never be openly described so that anyone can fit right in, imagines and gifs are just for aesthetic purposes.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

✶  ;  Me vs my love for deranged, disfigured men who got tortured and now use humor as a copy mechanism.
✶  ; Absolutely not trying to romanticize toxic relationships. The story is seen from a sick brain, from someone who was tortured and denied affection. Like I've stated up there^^ you reader don't remember clearly what's love, that's why it will be described as something poetic and beautiful. But it's not. You will see that it's nothing too crazy but it is a toxic relationship.
✶  ;  Can't say much else except that this is my husband of the month and no one seems to care enough about him to write for him so I took matters in my own hands.
✶  ; For the first time ever (And probably for the last time too) this isn't such a slow burn! Ofc we love yearning so don't expect much but this time we go straight to it, I can say that.
✶  ;  Toxic exes (literally and figuratively) who still got the hots for each others but would rather die and come back an hundred times then admitting it out loud!
✶  ;  Lots of misunderstanding, just for shits and giggles.

good reading
_callmesa © 2024