The lull of the silent room brought me back to the continuous high pitched beep that seemed to have carried on for ever.

I sat in a chair that was set beside the bed she laid on. I held to sheets she laid in and I starred out the window she gazed at. I now know way she wanted to leave all those years ago. The pain that life inflicts on you begins to wear you down. I've been sitting in this empty room for what seemed like weeks even though it's only been about 5 hours since they've taken her body out of this room. I still sat here, looking out this window hoping, wishing that it was all a dream. But I know it wasn't. A hand was placed softly on my shoulder as the person behind me leaned down towards my ear.

"It's time to go dear."

My mother whispered gently. I tried to think of an excuse to stay but in the end I knew I had to move on, but it'll be hard. I trudged towards the car, feeling a huge imaginary weight push on my shoulders making me hunch over a bit. I watched the trees pass by in a blur, blending the greens and blues together.

A day or so passed and me and Cameron were ready to head back but mom wanted us to stay for the funeral. I wasn't sure how I felt about it but we stayed anyways and before I knew it I was standing beside a white and silver casket with metallic pearls framing the the bottom corners. Everyone stood with their heads facing the ground as a man in a black suit read from a small black book. I didn't pay attention to who was around me, I felt a lump in my throat and a pain in my heart, I glanced around me and few people had started to cry for the lost family member, I felt that should be something that I should be doing, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried not tears weld up in my eyes. I didn't even feel the sadness that people felt anymore, I couldn't feel anything.

The reception was like every other reception, full of sad and depressed people. I sat in a chair that had this ugly Irish green palsy pattern framed with a light polished birch wood. I lazily looked about the room. I just wanted to flop down onto my bed and pretend that this was all just a really bad dream.

"This is boring"

Cameron sat down in the seat beside mine, placing his palm onto his cheek and leaned against it. I nodded slowly, watching a relative that I never met before go around and hand everyone a stapled  copy of a few verses in the bible, while my great great great grandma told stories about how the universe is what we should believe in, my family has mixed beliefs. My mother came walking towards me with a forced smile on her face.

"I think it's time we head home."

I nodded, unsure if which home I was more willing to go home to. Cameron stood up with a look in his eye that told me in his head was so glad to get away from these old people.

The ride home was silent. Mom drove because she didn't trust dad driving when he had just lost the closet person to him, besides us of course.

We made it back with our body's in on piece, but our hearts were a different case. Our bags were packed and by the door, mom and dad standing in front of us, Claire and Will stayed at the reception to help clean up, they said their goodbyes to us when we left the old building anyways. Mom tried too smile as she grabbed my shoulders but as soon as she touched me she broke into tears and pulled me close. We stayed like that for a few moments before she grabbed the side of my face and moved away.

"You two have a safe trip, we don't need too have another funeral anytime soon."

I think we all knew it was supposed to be a joke but none of us laughed. I grabbed her hands and kissed her cheek mumbling a goodbye in the process. My dad slapped his hand onto Cameron's shoulder and looked him in the eye.

"You make sure my daughter gets home safe, and don't you do anything to her, got that?"

Cameron nodded and I couldn't tell whether he was scared or found it amusing. I kissed my dad goodbye and then made my way through the door seeing my family for the last time until my next visit, hopefully not for anyone's funeral.

I dropped the bags down onto the floor and fell back onto the couch. Home felt so good right now, I just wanted to enter my room and fall asleep without having to worry about anything and just drowning in your sorrows.

"You. Make dinner. Now"

Cameron say down on on of the chairs in the living room and started scrolling through his phone, no emotion on his face what so ever. I sat there, my mouth open with disbelief. Does he really think I'm going to make dinner?

"You selfish b**tard!"

His head shot up to look me in the eye. I could tell he was slightly shocked. I stood up, I was pissed.

"You think I'm going to make you dinner? I just lost one of the closet people to me! And you think I'm going to make you dinner? I'm not your wife! Got it? Go get your own damn food, or starve for all I f*cking care!"

I stormed off to my room and slammed my door. I angrily kicked my bed post, which I soon regretted as I held my food and hopped onto my bed.

No sound was heard for the next hour or so. I figured he went out or something. So I decided to come out of my room and find something to eat. When I walked through my door, there he was, sitting at the kitchen table eating some take out, so he is capable of taking care of himself. His back was to me so he was still oblivious to my presence. I crept to the fridge and opened it up to look inside and find it completely empty. I groaned as I slammed the door shut, forgetting who was behind me.

"There was no food in the fridge so I bought take out."

"You could've told me that before I go disappointed?"

He starred at me before turning back to his food. I glanced down towards his chicken and my stomach started growling, worst timing stomach. He glanced up at me, stopping all his actions. I huffed and made my way back to my room with a now grumbling tummy. I laid down on my bed, hoping to get some shut eye.

I awoke to the sound of my door opening and I rubbed my eyes as I slowly sat up, facing the door. I smelled fried chicken and fries and my stomach growled once again. I smiled as the smell came closer, but a frown appeared when I saw who was carrying the delicious meal.

"What are you doing in my room Cameron?"

I asked, holding a pillow in my hands ready to throw it at him. He came closer and set the chicken and fries on my side table before sitting on the floor on the opposite side of the room. I glanced between the chicken and him.

"I'm sorry about your aunt."

He mumbled, but I heard him clearly. My brain was shook, did he just say sorry?

"I-it's o-okay?"

I was a little hesitant with answering.

"I'm assuming you were pretty close?"

I nodded and looked down at my lap and started playing with my fingers.

"Yeah...We were pretty close. She was someone I could tell anything to."

I sat there, an overwhelming feeling of saddens shot through me as I remembered everything about and all the memories we had with one another. I felt like I should've cried then. But I didn't. I realised that I haven't cried much, only once and that was when she died right in front of me, and since then not a single tear has left my eyes.

"Every year for my birthday, she'd bring this ice cream cake, and every year we'd have a food fight. She would always take my side, but later on she'd betray me and hit me square in the face with a slice of cake. Now every year for my birthday I'm going to blow out candles like a normal person."

I could tell Cameron wanted to laugh, but I was confused as to why he held back. He gave me this look that told be to continue. Why was he listening?

"My aunt was put into an institution because she was suicidal, she attempted multiple times every attempt either left her with a few scratches or more emotional trauma. We'd visit her often, at first it felt weird, but after a while it felt like that was her home, as weird as it sounds."

Cameron slowly stood from his place on the floor and made his way over to my bed before sitting down about 60cm away from me. I decided to continue despite the weird feeling I felt in my stomach.

"She kept telling us every time we had to leave that she was would be able to say goodbye to us in her own home. And we always believed her, she always had the determination to do things, and so she had the determination to get better. She was released the night of the reunion."

I looked down and for the first time since this happened, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I felt sadness and depression full my body and all I wanted to do was cry. I was unable to find the words I wanted to say. I bit my lip as a way of trying to focus but I just couldn't. Long arms pulled me close to him and I let the tears fall as I held his shirt and sobbed in his chest.

"But she still wasn't free"

I didn't care that my enemy was holding me close. I didn't care that my heart was beating quickly and that my cheeks were red. I didn't care, all I wanted to do was cry and feel comforted.

He smoothed down my hair slowly and whispered in my ear things like 'it's okay' and 'just let it out'. I wrapped my arms around his torso and held him closer to me. My sobs had stopped, the sadness didn't. I could feel him attempting to pry me off, but that made me hold on tighter.

"Please, please don't leave me"

As pathetic as it sounds. I really needed him right now, and if he owed me anything, it would be this.