"Hardship defined us. From the hell

Of Special Weapons training to

The sheer inhumanity of our postings

It was hardship that made us what

The Army wanted us to be.

A Horseman of the Apocalypse

The Horseman of Madness"

Chapter Nine

2/19th Special Weapons Group

Restricted Area, Alfenwehr West Germany

Late Winter- January, 1986

Day 11 of Repairs

Day 3 of the Second Incident

Morning

The dream shattered as the alarm clock went off. I was already moving, still half asleep, vaulting off the top of the bed, hitting the slick tile, and busting my ass as the frost instantly melted under my warm skin and my feet went out from under me.

Bomber laughed, swinging out from his bed. "Nicely done, spaz."

I got up, rubbing my elbow and trying to get the tingling in my arm to calm down. I moved into the bathroom, turning on the shower and looking at my reflection in the mirror.

"Nobody likes you. You are worthless beyond the fact that you will die so that someone better than you will survive. You will never be worth anything more than whatever good your death can do. Nobody will ever love you, everyone can barely tolerate you, and you deserve nothing good," I told my reflection. "You will die alone, and nobody will know or care that you are gone."

I waited a minute to see if anything let me know that things had changed. Nothing happened, so I shrugged and got into the shower, relishing the pounding spray. The door opened and closed and Nancy slid into the shower, holding out the soap.

"You OK?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?" I answered.

"You're shaking. Nightmares?" she asked me, twirling her finger for me to turn around. I did so and she started washing my back with the Irish Spring.

"No, just dreamed about Operation Copper Window," I told her.

"No such thing," she answered, putting up the soap and scratching my back.

I grunted, unwilling to answer. It'd been a royal bitch the whole time, but we'd done it. The site had been completely up to speed, passed its NATO inspections.

Chief Henley had gotten another Meritorious Service Medal for that. I'd gotten told to get back to work and Chief Henley had tried to tell me that knives were not allowed at the sites. I'd ignored him and kept carrying my knife.

"Soap me up," she told me, turning around. I washed her back, then finished up washing each other off. The alarm had gone off at zero-seven, so we had about two hours before formation, so we weren't in any hurry as we started to move together.

We'd just finished when a knock came at the door and Stokes' voice sounded out. "You guys gonna be much longer?"

"Naw, we'll be out in a minute," Nancy yelled back. She grinned at me and kissed the middle of the scar that went around my shoulder. "Should I leave you in here for her as a present?"

"Naw, just let it go, babe," I told her, getting out and grabbing my towel. I dried off real quick while Nancy turned off the water, then handed it to her. I had a set of boxers in the little shelves beside the shower and pulled them on just before Nancy wrapped the towel around her waist and walked out.

Stokes stood there in her blue and gold PT's, stepping back and blushing as Nancy stopped in front of her. "Need your back washed, Miranda?" Nancy asked.

"No, I'm good," she mumbled, sliding by us. The door shut and Nancy laughed as we moved into the main room. Bomber was sitting at the desk in his PT's, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette. He handed me the pack and his Zippo and I lit one for me and Nancy.

"Guess we get to find out if Teflon James was lying about that two days on, one day off shit he was talking," Bomber grumbled. I handed back his smokes and he nodded. "My goddamn gut hurts today."

Nancy let go of my hand and walked over to her wall locker, stopping by the dresser to grab her keys so she could unlock the brass locks.

"How bad is it?" I asked him, rubbing my shoulder.

"Stomach hurts, balls throb, feels like someone's stabbing me in the scar," he admitted. "How's the shoulder?"

"Aches, feels like a piece of ice is stuck in the joint," I told him. The staples were still in the scar, holding it together, and they were starting to itch like mad. I started wiggling them back and forth, relishing the slight pain and the ease of the itching. Stokes called for Nagle from the bathroom, wanting to know where the conditioner was, pulling Nancy's attention from where she was locking her wall locker back up.

"Still bugging you?" he asked, then snorted. "He drove that bayonet clear through your shoulder and you're acting like you should have bounced back already. It's been, what, a month, that's it?"

"Yeah, but it's still bugging me," I told him. The thin scab along the bulged up skin where the scar was forming was wet and I started picking at it with my thumb nail. John slapped me across the stomach.

"Quit doing that, you split that bitch open a couple weeks ago, don't fuck with the scab."

"Or what, it'll leave a scar?" I grinned. He rolled his eyes, dropped the beer bottle into the garbage can, and grabbed two more, handing me one. "My head's really bugging me today, I can't seem to focus my eyes well."

That got him to look worried. I tried to twist open the cap twice, but wasn't able to get my grip right. Bomber waited a second and grabbed the bottle, opened it, and handed it back.

"No grip?" he asked me.

"No. My whole arm is tingling, and my pinky and ring finger are numb."

"Shit, you need a goddamn hospital, not staying up in this frozen shit-hole," he grumbled, taking a swig off his beer.

"Both of you should be on convalescent leave," Nancy grouched as stepped up and motioned at him to stand up. "Lemme see your stomach, John."

"I'm fine, the scar just hurts today," he told her, but he stood up anyway. Nancy pulled up his shirt and pulled the waistband of his shorts down. "Hey, what the hell?"

"I need to make sure you didn't herniate, you idiot," she snapped. "Want your intestines dropping into your ball sack, or maybe your guts bulging out?"

"Sure, show everyone my dick," he bitched. I looked away and took another swig off my beer. Nancy chuckled, slightly muffled, and Bomber's voice got embarrassed. "Hey, don't do that, what if Stokes comes out."

"Sissy. Your abdominal wall is a little tender, but doesn't feel compromised," Nancy said. "Ant, get in my bag and get the KY."

"Woah woah woah," Bomber said as I knelt down to dig the KY out of her bag. Well, the military version of it, which had some weird name. I glanced over and Nancy was tearing off her index fingernail with her teeth. She spit it on the floor and stuck her finger into Bomber's balls. I looked away again as Bomber hissed in pain. I knew what she was doing, sticking her finger in that ring of cartilage where the tubes dropped out of the abdomen and connected to the testicles.

"Shut up," Nancy snarled. "These feel fine. Bend over."

"Hell no. You aren't..." he said.

"Shut up and bend over. You've been hurting for the last week," she said.

"No fucking way," Bomber said.

"I swear to God, John, if you don't turn around and bend over I'll wait till your sleeping and beat you with a fucking koala," she told him, her voice cold.

"Want me to leave?" I asked.

"Yes," John said.

"No, you'll stand right there in case I need you," she told me.

"Fine," he said, turning around and putting his hands on the desk. "I swear to God, Ant, make any smart assed comments and I'll break your fucking jaw."

"Not me," I protested, holding up my hands and the tube of KY. "You know where I sleep."

"Gimme the KY," Nancy told me. I handed it to her, and ignored the weird burbling noise it made when she squirted some out.

"Jesus, bitch, are you using your whole fist?" Bomber bitched. "Umm, that don't mean I'm gay or nothing."

Nancy laughed softly. "Of course, silly, that's what happens when someone rubs your prostate. If it didn't, you'd be in serious trouble since that'd be nerve damage somewhere. I wanted to check nerve function."

"Christ, stop rubbing that," John said.

"Oh quit being a sissy, there's a reason guys get off on anal sex, stimulation of the prostate is a pretty badass way to get off. I've always been kind of jealous, since anal sex has to be amazing for guys," Nancy said. She paused for a second. "John, when was the last time you took a shit?"

John looked embarrassed and I lit him a cigarette. He made a face when I put it between his lips.

"I've got kind of the runs for the last couple days," he admitted. "Oh, my God, it feels like you're trying to check my wisdom teeth."

"Just relax, honey, trust me," Nancy said quietly.

"Umm, am I interrupting something?" Stokes asked. I looked over and she was standing just inside the main room with a large beach towel wrapped around her. It had to be a beach towel, even though it looked like a normal towel would wrapped around a normal woman.

"Goddamn it, how far up there are you going to reach?" Bomber asked.

"Why are you doing that?" Stokes asked, then blushed when I grinned at her. "Umm, I can come back."

"I'm done," Nancy stood up and headed for the bathroom.

"Can I wash off now or do I have to keep leaning over the desk like it's nickel Tuesday?" Bomber asked.

"I'm done with you now, sweetie, so sure." Nancy winked before she went around the corner.

"Bitch," Bomber complained, pulling up his shorts and following her. He was walking spraddle legged like we all did when we got our six month checks. Stokes changed her clothing while I stared at the fridge.

"This is still really weird," Stokes said quietly over the Nancy's giggling from the bathroom after the shower came on.

I just shrugged. "It's life on Alfenwehr. Life at Atlas."

"It's just... weird."

"I know, Miranda, but you're in a lot of danger right now," I told her. She looked at me with confusion. "Aine is the one who bit you. She's dangerous as hell and she might have targeted you for some kind of game."

"Dangerous? She's like three feet tall."

I shook my head. "She's smart, she strong, she's got the endurance of an ox, and she's weird as hell." I waved in no particular direction. "She's not like anything you've ever..."

Nancy came out of the bathroom, drying off with her towel. She grabbed her uniform out of her locker and began dressing, putting the towel in the laundry bag tied according to regs on the footboard of my bed.

"This sucks," Nancy said after Bomber came out and got dressed.

"You're not the one who had someone stick their fist up their ass," Bomber bitched as we headed for the door.

"Not from a lack of asking," Nancy grinned. Stokes flushed and I elbowed her in the hip.

They were serving breakfast in the CQ Area, ham and eggs with sausage patties, toast, and gruel. I got a tray and went into the dayroom to eat. On the projection TV, AFN was showing Sesame Street, which was fine with me. It may have been full of snow but at least it was watchable. Watching Super-Grover spaz out for the umpteenth time was just as amusing to me now as it had been when I was a child. After my breakfast, I lit a smoke and went into the game room to play a video game. I went through about three bucks before Nancy came into the game room and leaned against the wall.

"You all right, Ant?" she asked me quietly, lighting two cigarettes and handing me one.

"Sure," I told her, dropping another coin in Donkey Kong Jr.

"I'm serious. Aine's screwing with your head, and your brain's already messed up." She sighed and scrubbed her face with her hands. "Formation is in a little bit. I'm going to tell the LT that you and Bomber need the day off. You can't see well and Bomber tripped and fell on the stairs so I'd like it if both of you guys got evac'd."

I snorted. "What's the chances of that?"

"Right about the same chances of you being the next Sergeant Major of the Army," Nancy snickered.

Formation hit after I'd gone through another four bucks, and I walked away from a game in progress to hit formation in time. We stood through the report, finding out we were still missing men. My own squad was full, with Parker standing there with his two black eyes even if he did look a little sullen about it.

LT James called out the names of those of us who had the day off, leaving only Parker having to work since Aine had worked for her two days. We headed up to my room, leaving Aine to do whatever fruit bats like her did with time off.

"I want both of you to lay down," Nancy said, hitting the lights and letting the nightlight do its best to keep the room lit enough. It felt better on my eyes than the harsh light bulb and I sighed, leaning back against the wall while I lit up a smoke and had Nancy crack me a beer.

She wasn't too pleased over the fact that I couldn't open the beer bottle myself with my loss of strength in my right arm.

We basically spent the first part of the day BSing, with Stokes sitting on John's bed napping or quietly sipping a Jack and Coke.

It wasn't a bad day. I mean, it wasn't great, but on Alfenwehr, you took what you could get, you know? By noon my vision had cleared up, but Nancy still made me take it easy, kicking back and just talking instead of trying to read. I dealt with the nagging headache, and after about the fifth beer it eased up.

"Wanna hit the weight room?" Bomber asked me.

"Hell yeah," I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed to jump down.

"No. Both you dipshits sit down," Nancy snapped. "Ant, you lift weights and you'll tear up all that hardware in your shoulder that hasn't set yet. Bomber, your gut is already bruised to hell, you start pumping iron you'll rip your intestines."

I sat back, groaning in disappointment. Bomber just shook his head and leaned back.

"Man, this sucks," I bitched.

"Yeah," Bomber agreed.

"Shut up," Nancy grunted.

"You're right," Stokes sighed.

We went back to BSing, the day just crawling by. We were used to working all day, or doing more than just sitting around. We were all pretty fidgety, and glad as hell when sixteen hundred rolled around so we could hit up formation.

After formation, LT James waved Bomber, Nancy and me over. We clomped over, a mixture of curiosity and boredom filling me.

"I read the CQ logs, and Corporal Lancer's statement that someone has gone through the Orderly Room files alarms me," he stated. "I want the three of you to accompany me so that we can do a security sweep of the ground floor."

"Yes, sir," we all chorused.

We followed him down the stairs, expecting him to be silent, and were startled when he started speaking.

"I do not believe we are alone up here, and the missing files as well as other evidence shows that this is not some random actions that we are allowing paranoia and uncertainty to inflate into a conspiracy," he said, holding us at the stairwell landing between the first floor and ground floor. "I am on the edge of arming everyone and going on the offensive."

"That might be a good idea, sir," Bomber said.

"With that, let's go sweep the ground floor. Are the three of you armed?"

I nodded. "Armed."

Nancy shrugged and patted her hip. "Got my issue bayonet."

"Yeah, whatever," Bomber mumbled. "I'm good."

"Small of my back," I told him, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. "Grab my bayonet."

"Dude, I'm good." Bomber grinned. "I've got my Bowie Knife on me."

At the bottom of the stairs, the LT stopped us. "Specialists Nagle and Bomber, check the Ready Room, the Supply Room, and wait for Corporal Stillwater and I to join you before you move onto the north side of the building."

"Roger that," Nagle said. Bomber nodded and followed her, both of them moving quietly.

I moved in front of the LT, heading past the mailboxes and taking that right toward the Orderly Room. Something felt off, and the lizard hated what was going on. He was hissing and caressing the 'fight' button, putting light pressure on it to charge up my system.

Something was off.

When I got to the edge of the little hallway, in front of the First Sergeant's Office with the utility closet on my right and turned to look into the Orderly Room I knew that the lizard was right the whole damn time.

Standing in the Orderly Room was almost a dozen people, all of them in BDU's, one I recognized hanging up a phone with a disgusted look on his face while the other one I recognized had seen me and was starting to smile.

I flashed the "stop" signal with my left hand, since the men in the Orderly Room couldn't see it, praying that the LT saw it. I came to a stop and stared at the men in the Orderly Room.

Men who had reached the barracks during a blizzard. Who had somehow gotten past Dead Man's Corner, Indy's Instant Cliff, and up to the barracks.

Men who shouldn't be here.

"Corporal Stillwater, just the man I need to see," Major Mallory said with a smile. "I need access to the secure records vault, Corporal, and this saves me a lot of time."

The lizard hissed and caressed the combat button with more pressure to bring me even further up. Cool wet fire slicked down my spine, my right arm erupted in pins and needles, and my vision sharpened even further.

...and they all go marching down, into the ground, to get out, of the cold...