CHAPTER ELEVEN

When I open my eyes, Rand is kneeling in front of me, my untouched glass of water in his hand.

“Water?” he offers with a smile. I accept it, and I down the glass in a few seconds.

He gets up and returns to the seat he was in when I blacked out. The spot next to him is empty.

“Where’s Caden?” I ask.

“He’s, uh…” He stops, his gaze flicking to something over my shoulder. I turn to see Caden walking around the corner, his eyes on us.

“I was just getting something to eat,” Caden says.

I watch as he makes his way back to the couch and then look to Rand. “How long was I out?”

“About fifteen minutes. Do you want me to pick up where I left off?”

It takes a second for me to remember the explanation – the reason that I fainted – and when I do, all I can think about is the memory of me in a dark room with a man holding a hard unidentifiable object. It doesn’t feel right to think of it as a memory, but I don’t think I can call it a nightmare anymore.

I nod in response to Rand’s question even though I don’t really want him to continue– I would rather forget everything he told me before I fainted – but I won’t be able to sleep tonight if he doesn’t answer the pounding questions in my head.

“Okay, well, as I was saying, they swapped your spirits. So, when I knew you as a child, your name was Sarah and you were Sarah, but then they put your spirit in Melissa’s body and put Melissa’s in yours. And because no one could see a physical difference and you were too young to realise what was happening, you just became Melissa. Is this making sense? It’s kind of a tricky thing to explain.”

I nod, but in truth, I’m still trying to get my head around it. “So my parents aren’t my real parents and my body isn’t my real body and my name isn’t my real name?”

 “Yep.” He smiles, and I can’t understand why anyone would smile at a time like this. He basically just told me that everything I know is a lie.

I really want to stop there, but there are still things I have to ask. “What does all this have to do with my disease?”

Rand smiles again, as if I’ve just asked him the best question in the world. “Spirits are freezing cold, but the body acts as a sort of container for the cold. If you were to come across a spirit which left its body, you wouldn’t be able to get within a metre of it before you froze to death. Everyone’s body is designed to hold their spirit and their spirit only, so if they’re swapped, the body won’t be able to contain the cold. The cold won’t leak out of the skin, but it will leave the spirit and freeze the body. And since your spirit knows that if the body gets to too cold and dies, it will die too, it extracts the heat from the air to keep you and your body alive.”

Rand gives me a few seconds to think over everything he said, and even then, it still just feels like a mess of words.

 “It only happened once a month at first because the cold takes a while to freeze the body, but as time passed your body got colder, and it will continue to grow colder.” Rand takes a deep breath. “There’s something else you should know. Your ‘heat attacks’ as you call them, only delay the freezing process. Eventually, your body will get too cold, and you’ll die.”

I can’t breathe.

This can’t be happening – this can’t be real. He’s lying – this just a joke and boy, have they fooled me.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No.”

Caden, who has been staring at the ground, now looks at me. His expression is blank, but he looks tensed up, as if he’d jump into action if need be.

I look back and forth between the two of them, each seeming very serious. “You’re lying. I’m not Sarah, I’m not dying. I’m fine, you’re wrong. I’m not…I’m not–”

“Melissa,” Rand has moved to my side without me even noticing and he places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m not lying. The memory of what happened is there,” he points to my forehead, “you just need to try and remember.”

A dark room.

I shake my head. “I – I should go.” I start to stand up, but in an instant, Caden is beside me, sitting me back down. He grips my arm tightly and I struggle out of his hold.

“You can’t,” Caden says.

“Why not?” I ask, forcing myself to look him in the eye as I speak, keeping my voice steady.

It’s Rand who answers. “Because you’re not safe anywhere else.”

I try to keep my anger contained, but slips through the cracks. “What? You think I’ll die if I go home? I can take care of myself.”

I pull away from both of them, stepping around the couch. They don’t move. “I don’t know what kind of prank your trying to pull here, but I’m telling you, it’s not gonna work on me.”

I turn and head for the door.

I’m halfway there when Rand’s voice reaches me. “It’s not your body freezing over that we’re worried about. It’s the people that are out there who want to finish what they started. They know where you live, they know where you go to school, they know what you do in your spare time, and they want to kill you.”

I freeze in my tracks.

“You’ve seen the spirits, Melissa. You’ve seen the ghost that follows Caden around and felt the cold that it radiates. All your life you’ve wanted answers – real answers – not the pathetic nonsense that your doctors have come up with. And we’re offering you that. The doctors can’t explain why you’re so cold; they don’t know why it happened in the first place. But we do. And if you don’t believe the truth, then maybe you should leave. You’ll work it out for yourself soon enough when those people come after you. And trust me, after today, they most definitely will.”

I turn around. “What happened today that would make them come after me?”

“Do you remember the odd abilities I said you possessed as a child?”

I nod.

“Well, the swapping process represses those abilities but only to a certain degree. Most people’s abilities would just disappear completely, but yours are too strong. If you wanted to, you could still use them, which is what happened today. You didn’t realise it, but you were using your ability.”

“What did I do?”

“Did you notice how windy it was, how the strong winds just appeared out of nowhere?”

I nod. I have a feeling that I know where this is going.

“That’s because they weren’t natural. You were controlling them.”

“You were angry,” Caden says. “And when faced with a strong emotion, you instinctually use your abilities. It’s your spirit’s way of keeping your body safe.”

Suddenly, I remember that time in science with the ghost out my window – how I was terrified that it’d try to hurt me – and then the window shattered. It had been me.

“So, because those people are watching me, they saw me use my ability, which is why I had to leave the school, right?” I ask.

Caden nods. “It’s also the reason why I have to keep my distance in public. If I spend too much time around you’ll, they’ll take an interest in me and what I know. They might try to kill me too.”

It all makes sense now, and I allow myself to believe them, to let go of the doubt and the fear that it’s all just a joke.  All those questions I’ve been harbouring in me for most of my life have finally been answered, and it feels as though a weight has been taken off my shoulders – as if all my life I’ve only ever been able to walk, and now I can run and skip and dance.

“So what now? Do I just stay here until they give up looking for me?”

Rand exchanges a glance with Caden and they both smile. “No,” Rand says. “Now for the fun part.” He claps his hands together. “Now we teach how to use your abilities so that you can look after yourself, and eventually find Sarah and swap you back.”

“So you mean, you’re gonna help me use my superpowers?”

Caden looks amused and Rand nods.

I can’t stop the small childish smile that slips onto my face.