I think it's easier to admit things to people you don't know very well. Maybe it's because they still have the opportunity to run away.

Or maybe I admitted it to Naiya because I feel like she understands. Maybe I just wanted her to know. I wanted her to hear it from me first.

Maybe a part of me wanted to be from free my burdens. Keeping secrets doesn't help. It only becomes a part of my identity. After Chicago, I realize I want to be myself again. I mean, I've always wanted that. I've just never really tried.

Naiya was glad I told her. That was all we said about it. The rest of the hike was peaceful. The mountains are beautiful. We didn't hike very high. The taller peaks are still covered in snow and probably will be for a few more months, but here the season has already begun to change.

Winter is gone now. Spring is on its way.

Wednesday is April Fool's day. I don't realize it is until Dylan walks into school with irregular blonde streaks in his hair.

As he walks towards our group, Ace and I try desperately to keep a straight face. We bust out in laughter right as Dylan stops in front of us.

"Dude," Ace says, barely able to get the word out. "No offense, but I don't think blonde is a good look for you."

I've never seen Dylan look so pissed. "Try telling Jack and Haden that, will you?" Jack and Haden are Dylan's younger twin brothers. I've only seen them around a few times, but I can tell how Dylan is easily annoyed by them.

Zach grins at Dylan. "What are you gonna do for payback?"

Dylan slumps onto the bench beside Cooper, tilting his head back and sighing. "I've got nothing."

Cooper pats his shoulders. "You can sneak laxatives into their food. That's always a good one."

"Don't you think that's a little mean, though?"

"A little mean?" Ace starts. "They died your hair, Dylan. If you wanna hear something that's a little mean, you should hear what I have planned for Mr. Colby."

We all lean closer to Ace. He just grins wildly at us.

"...Well?" Dylan says.

Ace grins even bigger, if that was possible. Then, as if right on cue, the bell rings. "Meet me at Mr. Colby's room after school."

Cooper walks with me to class. Naiya usually doesn't show up too early in the mornings anymore now that Zach isn't driving her.

"You know Ace almost got suspended last year for one of his April Fool's day pranks," Cooper tells me.

"Really?" I say, though honestly I'm not that shocked. Ace has gotten a detention or two from doing stupid stuff like this all the time.

"Yeah. He did something with baking soda and vinegar and it–like–exploded all over one of the classrooms. He had to clean it all up himself."

"Ah. That's kinda funny." I shake my head. "I'm not much of a prankster myself. I don't think I could pull off anything good."

Cooper looks at me and shrugs. "I think you could if you wanted. But yeah, I don't really do pranks either. That's sort of Ace's thing."

"And Dylan's brothers."

Cooper laughs. "Yep. And Dylan's brothers. I hope the dye they used was permanent."

I laugh along beside him. "Me too," I say.

After school, I head over to Mr. Colby's classroom just like Ace told us. When I arrived to find the rest of the gang wasn't there, a sinking feeling fell into my gut. Within less than a minute, though, Ace and the others show up holding some bags and I'm immediately relieved.

"Did you not get the text?" Ace asks me as he sets one of the bags down in front of a row of lockers.

I pull out my phone and sure enough, Ace texted the group to meet at his car instead. I don't really look at my phone much during school. I've been trying not to, at least, so I can get my grades up and so the teachers won't keep giving me office referrals.

"Oh. Sorry," I mumble.

Ace waves a hand dismissively. "It's fine. We got it. Mr. Colby's out doing parking duty so he won't be back for another thirty minutes or so. Forty if he tries to chat up Miss. Lee." He grabs a key out of his pocket and unlocks the classroom.

"Why do you have a key?" Zach asks as he follows after Ace. I grab the bag Ace had set down and put it on one of the desks.

Ace digs through the box I just set down. "Liza gave it to me." Liza's a senior who is Mr. Colby's teaching assistant during the block Ace has class.

"What'd you give her in return?" Cooper asks, setting his own bag down next to the one Ace is digging through.

"Five bucks. Kind of a lot, if you ask me, but she's really stubborn. And here it is." At the last part, Ace pulls out a giant jug of Diet Coke. "Remember my baking soda and vinegar stunt from last year. That's gonna be nothing compared to this."

"You're gonna get in so much trouble, Ace," Zach says. He's a little anxious about this, I can tell. It's almost comedical that Zach is the least troublesome of the group yet he's the one that always hosts the parties. I guess getting into trouble at school is different than with your parents, and Zach's parents aren't even that strict.

"That's why I've got this." Ace pulls out a large painting tarp from one of the bags. "Hopefully they won't suspend me now."

Within minutes, Ace has rigged up his soda and mentos contraption. We moved the desks away and set up the tarp underneath. I doubt the tarp will make it any easier to clean up. The soda might even hit the ceiling.

"Now for the final touches." Ace grins wildly at us as he digs into the bag and pulls out a ball of yarn. He attaches it to the mentos rig and follows us out the door, tying it to the doorknob on his way out.

We stand there for a few minutes, holding our empty bags and waiting for Mr. Colby to come back.

"Mr. Colby's gonna be pissed," I say to Ace as we lean against the cool lockers.

"I know." Ace grins back at me. He's probably everyone's least favorite teacher. He's surprisingly grumpy for his age. Mr. Colby's probably the only one that doesn't give me any slack at this school. His class is now the only one I'm still failing.

"He's probably gonna give us detentions for the rest of the year, you know that right?" Dylan says. "I feel like I'm an accomplice."

"Well it was your choice to help–" Ace abruptly stops speaking. Mr. Colby rounds the corner and is approaching us.

We all look at each other, frantically trying to think of something casual to talk about. Zach pulls out his cell phone so we can record the big moment.

"So what's the math assignment again?" Dylan starts.

We all stand there dumbfounded for a moment until Cooper answers. "We have to do that worksheet, the limits one. Like when x approaches whatever, y approaches something."

"Oh right," Ace adds with a nod. I almost laugh at how terrible of actors we are.

As if in slow motion, we watch Mr. Colby walk past us with a tight-lipped smile. He grabs a set of keys out of his pocket and we watch with wide eyes as he pulls the door open. The twine goes taut and for a second, nothing happens. Then everything springs to life. The jug of soda sprays straight upward, blasting Diet Coke all over the room. I haven't seen one of these coke and mentos experiments done since I was in seventh grade, probably. It looks like a foaming volcano, brown foam spewing out of that comparatively tiny jug of soda. It reminds me of one of those geysers in Yellowstone. Everything is still and then suddenly, out of nowhere, boiling hot water bursts out of the ground with such force that it shakes the earth itself. I'm momentarily mesmerized.

Once the mentos have done their job and the fountain of foam ends, Mr. Colby turns abruptly back to us. The expression across his face is livid. For a second, he looks exactly like John.

Then I feel a tug on my shoulder and I'm pulled backwards. Cooper's eyes are wide and once he sees I've turned around, he starts running along with the rest of the group. I join in.

I know we're going to get in trouble for this. But it feels so good. Sweet adrenaline is pumping through my veins, my feet move swiftly underneath me, and we're laughing maniacally. We're out the door in no time. Mr. Colby could never catch us. We run all the way to the parking lot, giving each other fist bumps and high fives all along the way.

I wonder if this is how Damon felt whenever he got a hold of something, just completely on top of the world, like nothing can stop him. It feels good to be happy like this. It feels so, so good. I didn't realize how much I missed this.

But of course, like with every drug, there's always a comedown.

That comedown, for me, is Thursday the next day. I'm called to the office during my first hour class. Zach and Dylan are in my first hour, too, so we walk together in silence. When we get to the office, Cooper and Ace are already there.

The principal folds her hands together and places them on her desk. The atmosphere is tense. Mr. Colby breathes loudly behind us.

"I warned you not to do something this year, Ace," Mrs. Lewis says. "I'm even more disappointed that the rest of you joined in as well. Especially you, Easton." I feel my blood run cold at the mention of my name. "We've been patient with you this year. More patient than what's deserved."

Everybody's staring at me. I wish Mrs. Lewis would start talking to Ace again.

Mrs. Lewis shakes her head. "And Ace, you should know better than to bring him into your little stunts." My wish has come true. "All of you should." Mrs. Lewis pauses again before writing something down on a piece of paper in front of her. "Zach, Dylan, and Cooper, you'll have detention everyday after school and on Saturdays for the next two weeks. Ace, it'll be four." Then Mrs. Lewis turns to me again.

I can tell she doesn't know what punishment to give me. She's been fairly lenient to the rest of the group, I think, considering Ace almost got suspended last year.

"I want you to stay in here with me for a minute, Easton. The rest of you can go back to class."

The others give me a pat on the back as they exit the room. As the door shuts behind them, Mrs. Lewis starts to speak again. "You can't keep using your situation as an excuse to misbehave."

"I know." My voice sounds so meek and I internally cringe.

"I need you to be better than this." She swallows. "I've spoken with your guardians and your psychologist, Dr. Connoly. I just want to know how we can help you."

At the last part, I'm surprised to feel anger bubbling inside of me. "I'm trying, okay?"

"We were thinking of finding you some tutors or possibly a support group that you can talk to."

"No way," I say.

"Easton." Mrs. Lewis hands me a couple pieces of paper. One looks to be a list of available tutors and the other two are flyers for some support groups. "Just take a look at these, okay?"

"I already talk to Dr. Connoly. I don't need anything else."

Mrs. Lewis breathes out through her nose. "Well obviously you need more help than that. If you're not interested in what I gave you, that's fine. In fact," she takes out yet another piece of paper from one of the drawers in her desk. "I know our school counselor would be happy to meet with you."

She hands me some form with not only questions about my birthdate and such, but questions like 'what's your biggest fear?' and other crap. "I told you I already talk to–"

"Dr. Connoly, I know. But Miss. Lee can help you specifically with your academics, something I'm sure isn't the main focus of Dr. Connoly's sessions." Mrs. Lewis folds her hands in front of her again. "While your friends are spending their weeks in detention, I want you to meet with Miss. Lee during your free period."

"Are you serious?"

"She's going to help you figure out things with your teachers and making sure you're getting all your assignments done on time."

I slump in my seat. "I told you that I've been trying to get my work done. Just ask my teachers. I've been turning everything in on time these past few weeks."

"I beg to differ, Easton," Mr. Colby suddenly interrupts. I had forgotten he's here and frankly very annoyed he is. "The argumentative essay I gave you was due Monday. You still haven't turned it in."

I mentally cuss him out.

"Alright. Miss. Lee will see you tomorrow, Easton." Mrs. Lewis smiles at me before I stand up and exit her office.

I step out into the hallway, suddenly mesmerized by the emptiness of it. I feel so out of place in the big, empty space. I'm reminded of another moment in time when I stepped out of a principal's office into a hallway so oddly empty.

It was early December, a week or two before winter break. I had gone in to talk with the principal about my transfer to Copper Valley High School in Halson. That was the last time I was there at that school. Nothing truly felt real during that month, like I was only walking through a dream.

Now it feels real. It feels raw. It reminds me when you scrape your knee and a part of your skin peels off. It's this horrible, burning sensation that engulfs your senses and no matter how hard you try to think of something else, your mind can only focus on the pain swelling up in your knee. That's how it feels now.

My backpack is still in my first hour class but I don't want to go back for it. Mrs. Lewis' conversation only reminds me of how messed up I am. I don't even get detention like the rest of them. My misbehavior isn't rooted in some teenage act of rebellion. No, my misbehavior is me acting out because I can't possibly deal with the fact that my mom died.

Zach and Dylan share my first hour. When I get back to class, they seem happy to hear they only got detention and not expulsion. I can't say I feel the same way.

You know, it's sort of funny how my life works. I imagine it as a giant set of dominos. It starts out small, with pieces barely the length of my pinky. Slowly, it starts to get bigger, the dominos towering ten feet over my head. On their own, those giant, glistening pillars seem impossible to move no matter how hard you try to push it down yourself. But really, all it takes is one light gust of air to send the first few dominos going and from there, the biggest of dominos slowly tumble down one by one.

I add one more domino to my chain when I wake up Saturday morning and find a single letter sitting unopened on the kitchen table. Two things stand out: one, it's from my older brother and two, it's addressed to me.