Summary: During Natalia's first solo mission after she and James defected to SHIELD, her handler decides she'll use her old tricks to get information from their target.

A/N: There are a few notes before reading that you should be aware of.

First, this takes place in an alternate universe where Natasha and Bucky both defected to SHIELD together. Second, there is referenced dubious consent that you need to be aware of. It is not between Bucky and Natasha and it is not expanded on, but it is a main plot point. Please mind your triggers and only read if you feel okay and safe doing so.

James was still adjusting. They both were. With over a year since they defected, there were still things to learn about being free and working under the supervision of an American espionage agency that both James and Natalia were struggling with. There were things they knew they should be comfortable with, but it was hard. The only thing that wasn't a hard, though, were the missions.

Just like everything else, SHIELD ran missions differently than the Red Room or Hydra had. James was expected to avoid killing their targets in favor of obtaining information; Natalia was not forced into the bed of one man or another to steal secrets and kill in silence. It was a good change, but a change nonetheless. There were still times when James nearly pulled the trigger because it would be easiest and Natalia found herself using more force than necessary.

For their first missions, they'd been separated. Barton was sent with one of them while the other remained at headquarters and while it had been irksome, they'd endured it. While Barton was sent to accompany them less often now, they had yet to be sent out together.

"Barton says they're afraid we'll disappear," Natalia murmured in Russian.

They had yet to feel comfortable speaking in English with each other. The language sounded clunky to their ears, even if they were both fluent in it, and James would openly admit to still distrusting some of the other agents. They looked at them strangely sometimes and even though he knew some of them spoke Russian, it was a safeguard that neither of them was eager or willing to let go of.

"Where would we go?" James scowled. "If we left, the whole world would be after us."

Russia knew where they'd gone, that much was certain. SHIELD kept records and although both Natalia and James had lied while filling out information for their separate files, it wasn't enough to keep them safe from either the Red Room or Hydra if they searched for them. After James had been shot with an unidentified Russian slug on a mission in Eastern Europe, their suspicions had only been confirmed. Defecting from SHIELD would make them targets for almost every country in the world.

"They're just scared," Natalia told him, running her fingers through his hair with a soft smile, admiration clear on her face.

Since their arrival to SHIELD, she'd started letting down her guard around him, even when they were in their room at headquarters, and it was James's favorite new thing about her: being able to read the admiration loud and clear. In Russia, she'd been careful even while out on missions. It was only after a thorough check of their safe house that she let herself relax around him. With SHIELD, she'd been quick to make the change. Others wouldn't notice, but James did.

"I love you," he breathed, reaching a hand up to gently cup her cheek. Seated on the edge their bed with Natalia standing between his legs, he was below her but not out of reach.

Just like she did every time he murmured the words, Natalia smiled and leaned down to press her lips against his. It was short, unpanicked. That was another change they'd both quickly adjusted to: the easy affection. Their handlers, although stern in their own way, wouldn't punish them for touching, whispering, or sharing glances. All things that would have led to immediate and harsh punishment in the Red Room were now permitted and neither James nor Natalia were going to take them for granted.

"I love you too."

James tugged her down to him, grinning slyly when she landed on his lap with a graceful thump.

She'd leave in the morning for a solo mission, the first one either of them had ever been given, but they were both used to minimal sleep. An evening together, protected from prying ears in their room at headquarters, was just what James was in the mood for and Natalia was just as willing to indulge.

* * * * *

Natalia slipped away early the next morning. Her handler, John Garrett, had called for an 04:00 fly-out time and while they were both used to early mornings, James was still groggy when she pressed a kiss to his forehead and murmured a goodbye. Thirty minutes later, James was wide awake and alone.

Her mission would only last a day and she'd be back by the following afternoon. In the meantime, James was expected to report to Barton for what SHIELD called training and what James and Natalia called a review. Although Barton was a skilled fighter, he was easy to take down and it wasn't until James and Natalia were sent to spar with each other that either of them got a real workout. Training with Barton was a good exercise in restraint, though, and that was something that SHIELD expected from them both.

"Rumor has it Tasha was sent out on a solo mission," Barton said as James stepped into the training room. He nodded. "Worried for her?"

James almost scoffed as he smirked.

"For Natalia? No," he said with a shake of his head. "It's her target we should be worried for."

"That's true," Barton agreed. "The girl sure can hold her own." Turning to James with an array of blades in his arms, he said, "Now let's see if you can."

* * * * *

The following morning when word came that Natalia had returned, James felt the familiar itch to seek her out. Unlike during their first weeks at SHIELD, though, he didn't drop what he was doing and rush to make sure her handler had treated her well. John Garrett was a man that made James's skin crawl, but he had never laid a hand on Natalia and James would be grateful for that much.

By the time James was cleared to meet Natalia, she was in the medical ward.

It had happened before that one of them would end up in the medical ward after a mission, but Natalia's history with doctors made the experience worse. The first time she'd woken up in a SHIELD hospital, they'd had to restrain and sedate her until James could be brought to meet her. Since then, he'd made an effort to meet her in the medical ward whenever it was necessary for her to visit. The fact that he hadn't been told prior to her arrival was disconcerting.

"Natalia?" James peered into her room.

She was on her feet, not laying on the bed, and had her back pressed into a corner as a nurse spoke softly with her. She didn't look too bruised or bloodied, though, which only caused further confusion for James.

Natalia's eyes widened at the sight of him and she stepped away from the wall. He didn't miss the small smile she gave the nurse or the way the nurse remained in the room as Natalia moved toward him.

"They didn't tell me you were going to the medical ward," James said, frowning when she stopped just out of reach. "I would have met you here. Sooner."

"I didn't want you to," she admitted. Her eyes flitted to the nurse who gave her an encouraging nod. Natalia's eyes hardened and she turned back to James, her chin raised as she said, "Everything is fine. It was just procedure."

"No, it's not," James argued. He reached for her hand and took a step closer. Natalia did not relax.

"Miss Romanov is not yet finished with her appointment," the nurse said, stepping forward suddenly. James frowned. "If you would please wait outside until I call you in, we will finish the check-up."

"Natalia?" James turned to her, anticipating an argument.

"Go, James," Natalia said in English. She let go of his hand and nodded toward the door. "It will only be a minute."

Worry tightened his chest and questions flew to the tip of his tongue, but James didn't fight her. SHIELD may be safer than the Red Room, but they still did not talk explicitly about personal problems or concerns when in public spaces. He would ask his questions later in the safety of their room.

"Alright."

When he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her lips, Natalia flinched away from him. She stepped back, turning toward the nurse who was between them in the time it took James to blink in surprise. The nurse was saying something, pushing him toward the door, but James had connected the dots.

"Natalia, no," he breathed. His eyes landed on a dark purple mark on her neck, something he'd passed off as a bruise earlier.

"James, please go," Natalia insisted. "I swear to you I―" She switched to Russian in what James recognized as panic― "I will tell you but please go. Please, just go outside until she―until she's done."

Her eyes were wide and as she spoke, her hands shook. He'd come to ease her panic and only made it worse, he realized.

He took a step back. "I'll go, Nastasya. Wherever you want me to go, I'll go."

"Outside," she said, panic still lacing her voice. "The hallway."

James nodded, moving to follow her request without further question. When Natalia locked the room door behind him, James didn't take it personally.

When Natalia stepped out of the room almost an hour later, she moved to James's side without hesitation. She didn't reach for him and he didn't reach for her, but she was close enough that he could feel her body heat and know she was safe.

"Let's go," she murmured. Her fingers slipped into James's and although he said nothing, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Natalia nodded her thanks to the nurse and without a word, they left the medical ward.

* * * * *

The second the door was locked in their room, Natalia recited her mission to him in full detail. Her face and voice were devoid of any emotion and although it wasn't the first time she'd done so, it was the first time since they defected. She was stiff and her Russian was stilted as she recited a Red Room-perfect debrief of the mission.

Under Garrett's order, she'd been forced to sleep with the target to get the information they needed. She'd suggested a different solution; Garrett had refused. They got the information Garrett needed and Natalia had been extracted by morning, but they had left her there through the night and James had never been angrier with SHIELD than he was now.

"Barton swore to us," he muttered, scowling at the door. "He promised you'd be safe. That you wouldn't have to do that anymore."

"I was following orders," Natalia argued.

James was not mad at her and he made sure she knew so, repeated it over and over until she silenced him with a kiss on the cheek. Her hands didn't shake and she didn't step away, but the mission was still fresh in her mind and James could see it in the way she didn't tuck herself under his arm or lay her head on his shoulder.

In the morning, while Natalia slept late after a night full of nightmares, James hunted down Barton with a snarl.

"You said she'd be safe," he sneered, pinning the man to the nearest wall. "You said she'd be safe and she trusted you."

"I'd love to help you out, I would," Barton said, hands raised, "but I need to know what you're talking about first."

"You said she wouldn't be forced to sleep with her targets," James snarled. His arm pressed harder against Barton's chest. "You promised SHIELD didn't do that, but when she was sent out alone, they forced her into his bed and left her there overnight."

"Garrett," Barton said. James nodded once. "Look, I understand you're upset and I know Tasha must be angry, but I swear to god, I had nothing to do with this."

James's eyes narrowed, but Barton looked honest so he let him go.

"Great." Barton smoothed out his uniform and then scowled. "Let's go see Coulson."

* * * * *

The incident had not been reported by Natalia, but her nurse had filed a report on her behalf which, when used to explain the missing pieces in Garrett's mission report, was enough evidence to remove Garrett as Natalia's handler. Fury himself spoke with Natalia about the decision and when she stepped out of his office, it was with a look of relief. By that afternoon, Coulson was assigned as her handler and it was agreed that Natalia and James would work as partners from then on.

"You worry too much," Natalia hummed. Laying on their bed and half draped over James, she was content to rest her chin on his bare chest and watch him. "It was a one-time thing."

"You can't be sure," James argued. His arm wrapped around her back, drawing her closer still. "Coulson is a good man. Unlike Garrett, I trust him with your life."

"Well then," she mused, "it must be settled."

"It is," James said. It had been hours ago as it was now late in the night, but James was still on edge. There was no guarantee that he wouldn't put John Garrett's head through the nearest wall when he saw him next.

"Don't get us kicked out," Natalia said, almost as if she could read his thoughts. "I like it better here."

James pressed a firm kiss to the top of her head, reveling in the feeling of having her at his side even if it happened every night.

"Me too," he agreed softly.