Summary: Natasha and Bucky get kidnapped and Yelena tries to run a rescue mission, only for each of them to interrupt the other's poorly well-thought-out plans.

The thing about saving the world is that, after a time or two, people start to recognize their faces. It makes intelligence work nigh impossible and stealth missions a failure before they even fly out, so instead, they decide to buy property up north and retire.

It's a brilliant plan, in Bucky's humble opinion. They're hours away from the city but they have everything they need with them. Natalia builds them a shooting range in the backyard, Bucky invests a little too much in a security system, and between the two of them, they manage to drive Yelena into a frenzy with a constant stream of missions for her to complete just because they're unable to. It's a good life, if not a bit domestic, and sometimes they get stir-crazy, but all in all, Bucky wouldn't trade it for the world.

"I think Liho left you a surprise under the dining room table."

He turns to see Natalia smirking, no longer in her pajamas, and stroking Liho's head as if she's the sweetest thing in this world. As soon as Bucky's eyes land on her, the cat mewls and curls closer to Natalia, coyly preventing him from getting his good morning kiss.

"No, I'm pretty certain it was for you," Bucky argues. He turns to the sink, letting the water run over the dishes, then says, "She's your cat."

"Our cat," Natalia corrects. She presses a series of kisses to the little demon's head and then sets her down, moving to clean up the hairball even as she continues to argue with him. "You're the one that said you wanted a pet."

He'd argued long and hard for a dog, but in the end, Natalia had befriended a stray cat and the thing had moved out of Brooklyn with them. It also hated James and anything else that could take away Natalia's attention, so the idea of a dog had been quickly set aside.

"Yeah, a pet that could defend us in an emergency."

From the dining room, Natalia snorts in amusement and he turns to face her. As soon as his eyes meet hers, though, there's an echo of shattering glass from the window behind her and her brow pinches together. James's gut twists as she reaches behind her neck with one hand, catching herself with the other when she stumbles into the table. Her fingers pull away a familiar red dart and when her eyes lock back on his, he sees them widen in fear moments before a dart embeds itself in his shoulder. Another burrows in his chest as he rushes frantically to Natalia's side and starts to sway as well.

"Natalia?"

He reaches for her, but she's already crumpled on the floor, unconscious next to the rag she'd been using to clean up Liho's hairball. His vision blurs, fingertips buzzing as he braces himself above her and attempts to pull her to him. There's the sound of more glass shattering, Liho yowling, and a mess of voices he can't quite decipher, but it's all he can do to curl his metal arm around Natalia's body, locking it in place so that they can't be separated. The last thing he sees before his vision goes dark is a masked face leaning over them and a tentacled skull.

* * * * *

Natasha wakes up with a banger of a headache and a panic in her chest that she can't quite place. Her head is too heavy to lift and her eyes are sore even though they aren't even open. Behind her, there's a soft, familiar huff of breath and a cool metal arm locked over her waist. When she cracks one eye open, everything falls into place.

James is still unconscious. Not even he could deceive her like that, which means that they must have shot him more than her. They have the same serum running through their blood, but James is a bigger threat in their eyes, she supposes. The metal arm is no longer their's and they had no control over it, making it and him a liability. She's a little surprised they hadn't cut it off in an attempt to separate them, but she's grateful the thought doesn't seem to have crossed their minds.

She takes a moment to glance around the room, cataloging everything she sees and wracking her memory for any sign of where they could be. Aside from the dart, red and too familiar, there's nothing in her memory that's helpful.

"James." She turns awkwardly in his arm, her side pressing into the cold floor as they lay sprawled out in the middle of it. "James, wake up."

She pats his cheek then presses her palm to his forehead. No fever, but his cheeks are flushed. He also isn't waking up.

"James," she hisses. She pinches his cheek this time and his brow tightens, encouraging her. A pinch to his neck is all that's needed for him to open his eyes and relief floods Natasha.

He groans something that sounds like her name and she nods, both hands reaching up to hold his face. There's still a tightening fear in her chest, but watching James's eyes open and feeling his flesh hand curl over her waist is reassuring. She's not alone.

"I'm okay, lyubov," James murmurs. He presses a kiss to her wrist only to frown at her racing pulse. "Natalia?"

She shakes her head. "It's normal. It happened in the past too. Just a bad reaction."

James's frown doesn't smooth as he sits them both up, never once moving his metal arm from where it's still locked around her.

"They couldn't override your arm." Her fingers brush against his shoulder, rough scars tangible through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. "Either that or they didn't try."

She hopes it's the former because if they'd been intentionally left together, it could only spell bad things. She may have dismantled the Red Room―brought it to the ground with Yelena and the rest of the girls―but her shared history with James wouldn't be easily wiped from their files. She'd experienced too many times just how cruel handlers could be when they found a single weakness to exploit.

"We can handle it, Natalia," James murmurs, pressing his nose to her neck. "It's just Hydra this time."

She doesn't know when it became "just Hydra", but she knows that it's reassuring in the only way it could be coming from James.

* * * * *

He's a liar and he hates himself for it. They don't handle it, not in the way that Bucky had hoped was possible and because of it, Natalia is sporting a cut across her cheek and ring bruises on her arms.

They'd been separated. Moments after he'd promised they could handle it, soldiers had poured into the room and he'd lunged for them. The second his arm was away, he'd been drugged; dragged across the floor, pinned down, and clamped into metal cuffs that wouldn't break despite his best efforts. Natalia had gone feral.

Now, sitting opposite of him and scowling fiercely, Natalia has matching chains over her arms and a fire in her eyes that Bucky knows will only lead to something worse.

She snarls a hundred insults in Russian, skipping right past the "act calm" part of Bucky's slowly developing plan and earning herself a slap to the face. It only fuels her anger and as her voice raises and she strains against the chains, the soldiers begin to retreat. Bucky isn't sure if it's a planned tactic or a panicked response.

Natalia doesn't calm down until their door latches shut and they're alone.

"Goddammit." She drops to the floor in a furious slump and presses her palms to her face.

"Natalia."

Her eyes find his from across the room and he notices the skin around her eye is darkening. Goddammit indeed, he thinks to himself.

"We'll get out of here," he promises. She raises a doubtful brow. "We've done this before."

"You can't even break that chain, James," she reminds him, nodding towards said chains. "In the past, that hasn't exactly been a hurdle."

It's a fair point, but Natalia has quick hands and he has a penchant for saying the wrong thing at the right time.

"It doesn't need to be," Bucky says. This time when she raises a brow, it's from intrigue rather than doubt.

"Have a plan then, Barnes?" she asks coyly.

"A semblance of one, yes."

* * * * *

She should never have expected it to go well, but she had and she's a fool for it now. Fortunately for both of them, it isn't until they're halfway through the compound that anything starts to go haywire.

She'd nicked the key to the chains when their jail master had returned. James caught his attention, she slipped forward, and when the man lashed out in response to James's probing, she'd snagged the key ring and slid back into place. When the man finally left and James had one more bruise, they unlocked their chains and stepped into the hallway.

Now, Natasha assumes they're within reach of the exit, but alarms are going off and something seems to have caught the guards' attention. When she goes skidding around a corner, James hot on her heels, she figures out what it is.

"Where the hell have you been?" she yells, dropping her gun at the sight of Yelena, covered in blood and furious.

"I am one day late!" Yelena shouts in defense. She crosses her arms in front of her, shooting a guy down the hall as she does so. "I had to take care of Fanny, okay? I couldn't just leave her unattended."

"You are so lucky you're not my biggest grievance right now," Natasha snaps. She picks up a gun from a dead guard and then gestures Yelena forward. "Lead us out."

With a roll of her eyes, Yelena does just that.

It takes several wrong turns, a series of vulgar shouts, and multiple stolen guns before they do find the exit, but it's just as well. They've both needed the practice and although Natasha's eye is almost swollen shut and James stumbles twice, they make it out of the complex without any gun-related wounds. Natasha would almost consider it a victory, but before she can, Yelena announces that their getaway car is her pickup.

Natasha almost cusses her out for it, but gunfire from a watch tower forces them to make a hasty escape, so she doesn't get the chance.

By the time they pull into the driveway of Natasha and James's house, Yelena is all but out of gas and James is dead asleep against the window. It's with a grumbled protest that James gets out, stumbling into the house just long enough to pack some essentials while Natasha takes care of the rest of it. An hour later, they're pulling out of the driveway and making their way to the Stark's cabin where they'll be safe for the night.

"I still can't believe you waited a day," Natasha grumbles, Liho tucked under one arm as she drags a suitcase with the other. Beside her, Yelena has three bags and a backpack stashed with all the Barnes' household weaponry.

"You didn't exactly give me a heads up," Yelena grumbles in reply. "Unlike Liho, Fanny needs love and attention. She can't just be ditched for a kidnapping emergency."

Natasha almost hits her. Almost, because she is way too tired to deal with Yelena's Fanny-is-better-than-Liho spiel, but she doesn't because her arms are full. By the time they make it to Stark's front door and Natasha sets down her suitcase to knock, she's lost the motivation.

Tony answers within a minute. "You look like shit."

"Thanks, Tony," Natasha mutters tiredly. "We're taking your guest room for the night."

He unlocks the door without question and Yelena leads the way to the back guestroom. Natasha follows, setting Liho down as soon as they're indoors much to Tony's chagrin. Behind her, James stumbles in after Yelena without so much as a muttered 'hello'.

"What the hell happened to you?" Tony asks, scowling as Liho bounds out of sight.

"We're going to need a new house," Natasha murmurs in response. "Hydra picked us up the other night."

He frowns, but no more questions are asked before he hands her a first aid kit and tells her to get cleaned up. She doesn't see him for the rest of the night, but it is near midnight so she assumes he goes to sleep. Shortly after showering and running a quick first aid check of both herself and James, she does the same.

* * * * *

Bucky wakes up squished in a king-size bed and with a killer of a headache. Beside him, Natalia is sleeping soundly and on her other side, Yelena has claimed half the bed. She, too, is dead asleep despite the sunlight streaming into the guest room.

With a groan, he pushes himself up and decides to take a shower before facing the music that is Tony Stark. He hopes that when he returns to the bedroom, Natalia will be awake, but she isn't. He's forced to go downstairs alone.

He hears Morgan before he reaches the living room, but the sound of her laughing makes him smile. When he hears Peter Parker's voice come from the same direction, his smile is immediately wiped away. Maybe he should wait for Natalia if he's going to have to deal with the Spider-Kid and the Wonder Child at once.

Stark notices him before he can make an escape, though.

"I heard Hydra found your secret hideaway," he says, glancing up at him.

Both Peter and Morgan whip their heads up to look at him.

"Yeah." Bucky nods, going straight for the coffee machine. "It was a real stellar vacation if I do say so myself."

"It sure looked like it," Stark murmurs, catching his eye.

With Morgan present, they won't go into further detail, but Bucky knows Stark was the one to greet them last night which means he definitely saw the state they had returned in. Fortunately, Morgan (and Peter) seem to have different priorities.

There's a thrilled shriek followed by an excited―but more composed―"Nat!" that alerts him to Natalia's presence. Before he can even turn around, Morgan has leapt out of her chair to hug Natalia and Peter is grinning widely.

"Well, I guess I know where I stand on their list of favorite people," Bucky mutters into his coffee mug.

Stark hears him judging by his snort and while Peter doesn't react, Bucky knows he's heard as well. Natalia is a much more valued guest than him, though, because Peter and Morgan devote their full attention to her for the duration of their stay.

* * * * *

It takes a while to find another property where they feel safe, but when they do, Tony is more than willing to equip it with Stark-tech security. Natasha doesn't even have to ask.

By the time they have a place, Yelena has a stack of missions awaiting her, and (somehow) Natasha has been tricked into watching Fanny while she's gone. Unfortunately, it means their beautiful new home is quickly child-proofed in order to protect their things from Liho, Fanny, and the myriad of children that sometimes visit. Between the pets, Morgan, and the Barton kids, the house sees a lot of damage in a very short amount of time. Luckily for them, it does not see any more of Hydra, so Natasha figures they got the better end of the deal.

With a backyard that stretches into a lake and a bubble of security measures, their home becomes a safe haven not only for them but also for Yelena, Antonia, and eventually the rest of the girls that the Red Room has trained. Somehow, the word never spreads outside of their little circle but Natasha isn't worried.

"I'm starting to think Yelena rents us out like one of those AirBnBs," James mutters, eyeing the girl now sleeping on their couch.

Natasha rolls her eyes. "They trust us, James. That goes far in this line of work."

"Maybe we should start charging."

She swats him, he laughs, and the girl on their couch stirs but doesn't wake. As long as the girls keep turning up on their couch and Yelena keeps completing the pile of missions they send her way, Natasha won't mind. Even if it does result in Hydra finding them again and Yelena does have to rescue them again, it's the thrill that she lives for. Besides, changing up their routine with a kidnapping every now and then will be good practice and keep them on their toes.