{A/N}~ Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own anything but plot and I'm poor so if you sue me you get nothing so. 🖕👌😁💃

On his 7th cup of coffee, his knee understandably had a hard time staying still, making a very distracting noise while he needed to focus. But the noise is preferable to being exhausted. So he put the mug down and continued to nibble on the half eaten chocolate bar he's been binging on for the past hour, and pressed several more buttons on his brand new (possibly-maybe-definitely) illegally obtained laptop.

He was almost in. All the plans, the secrets, the lies, the truth. All his.

All he wanted was some better equipment, but of course they had give him outrageous prices.

And who's got 60,000 dollars on hand, I mean sure its basically almost a supercomputer. But still!

So he stole it. As you do, and certain... People. Didn't appreciate that, so now he's arming himself.

Blueprints of their HQ, contacts in some very shady circles, off the books projects, maybe a few wire transactions to buy some actual weaponry. Y'know the usual bits and bobs you acquire when going up against a million dollar company... Now that he thinks about it maybe it wasn't such a good idea. But running and hiding would only work for so long, mostly because Jonathan would mess up out of shear. Boredom.

So flight's out and that leaves fight. Haha. Ohhh this is not gonna end well. Nope not-at-all, no siree Bob...

'Ugh. I hate life.'

They just had to kill his dog.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<•>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So he was standing there waiting for The Guy to show up. Who knew buying a gun illegally was so much hassle, with all the buzz about gun control you'd think its be easier. 

As that thought ran through his mind he heard a car pulling up behind him.

The head lights making his breathe all the more visible, which reminded him how cold it was, which reminded him he needed better clothes, which reminded him that he had no money to pay for the guns he was about to 'purchase' - not to mention said clothes - as setting up the wire transfer took longer than expected. And while he could have put off getting the weapons, paranoia makes patience very... Difficult.

Slowly but surely freezing his ass off, Jonathan semi-tuned out The Guy as he explained all the different weapons on display in his trunk. Who knew TV was so, accurate.

So after examining all the weapons on display, eyeing the sniper rifle more than anything else. He still decided that having more than enough is better than having less.

So picking up a handgun apparently called a Glock ( Hehe Glock, sounds like - no we're not doing it... Cock) he spoke to The Guy for the first time.

"I doubt these are loaded."

" 'Course not." Oh he's Southern, he notices this as he fully paid attention to The Guy for the first time.

That's cliché.

"Thought so." Jonathan said with a sigh. So he flipped the gun and pistol-whipped The Guy, then grabbed a knife out of the trunk and shoved it through The Guy's neck before he could use the gun he pulled out. Dropping him to the floor he looked at his now blood stained coat.

"The problems not having money causes." Going back to his car and pulling out the plastic wrap he had in his trunk he placed it on the snowy ground and rolled The Guy, now The Corpse Guy, onto the sheet and tossed his bloodied coat over him. Then rolled him up and placed him in the back seat. Not before of course looting his body of any valuables, a new watch, phone, car keys and a wallet with a few hundred dollars, a credit card and drivers license. 'Maybe I'll wire the money into an account in this guys name... That could work'

"I suppose crime does pay. Crap I'm talking to myself, I'm still doing it. Stop." Maybe he's not a 100% mentally stable. But that's the paranoia and the dog-grief talking, or the coffee possibly the coffee. He wants chocolate. Jonathan may have a slight addiction...

Covering his 'old' car in gasoline and burning it as well as the corpse inside to hell. He then took his new car and weapons home. Now he has to learn how to use this crap.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<•>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Three months later

So he's been monitoring the movements of the tech company he stole from and apparently there close to finding him. That just won't do. So he bought two storage units both on opposite sides of the city one under his name. And the other, the one he's actually using as his new base of operations under the name of The Corpse Guy. Who he burnt, which actually made the news. Ahh the things you can do with someone else's credit card.

Apparently it was good timing cause no less than a week after he noticed their movements did he watch through screens at his new... Residence. As they stormed his old home, killing his roommates after a thorough interrogation which yielded no results as he was the loner to rule all loners.

Then they started burning his old place down with his old, now dead roommates inside... Jonathan just sipped at his hot chocolate as now is not a good time to be jittery so currently coffee was out and the withdrawal was irritating but bearable. Looking at the wall which housed all his current weapons which he spent three months training extensively with. Thankfully there was a bag full of ammo in the back seat of his 'new' car.

He guessed he had about 2 months before they found the storage locker under his name, a week or two to get through all the clues leading to dead ends he left their and another month till they find out about The Corpse Guy, cause why wouldn't they? Then a week before they find exactly where I am.

Let's boogie.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<•>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

As he was being arrested for the very successful murder - if he says so himself, which he does - of Matthew Clarke of Clarke Tech Industries.
No doubt heading for death row, he pondered what he would like for a last meal.

He ended up with chocolate fudge cake with chocolate icing and black coffee.
They roughly pushed him into the cop car, the handcuffs making movement mighty inconvenient. On the entire way to the prison he irritated the absolute shit out've the guard. Jonathan actually thought he was going to shoot him right there right then.

Few days later their was a pretty cut and dry trial he zoned out for most of it, thinking up an escape plan going over the maps and various blueprints he memorised for the prison he was going to. He did tune in for the part where they put him on the stand. They made him swear on the bible and as soon as he was finished wth the oath he asked a very simple question to judge.

"Hey uh, y'know that oath I took just then? Yeah does that count even if I don't believe in God?" She just looked at him. He looked at her. She didn't stop looking at him. He looked down finding his hands very interesting at this current moment in time.

Then the prosecutor starting asking his questions. Well questions was a strong word they were more like; 'Hey Lookie here there's point A and oh my! There's point C but oh my goodness where is point B. Oh there it is!' Point A being pictures of the security guards he may have shot and or stabbed. And B the picture of Clarke who he definitely shot and or stabbed. Several times. Now that he thinks of it he's pretty sure he and Clarke banged at one point... Huh, small world.

Almost every statement Jonathan made and every answer he gave was him admitting to doing it but not enough where it was pleading guilty.
If he was going to prison he might as well have fun with it. Maybe he'd get a prison husband. Then he'd kill him in his sleep and become a prison widow, are those a thing? I'm gonna make them a thing.

"Mr. Layhee, Mr. Layhee!" Oh shit right he's on the stand. Wait, he's sitting why do they call it a stand?

"Oh shit, sorry Mr. Prosecutor-guy-sir what was the pointless question of the minute?"

Mr. Prosecutor's face looked absolutely livid.

"What do you have to say, about these images, do they look for familiar to you?" He said through gritted teeth.

Jonathan turned to the judge again.
"Is he allowed to ask two question at the same time?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Do you just communicate with your eyes and eyebrows with everyone or is that just little ol' me?"

"Just answer the question."

"Okie dokie. Well those wounds do seem to be consistent with stab wounds. And that's definitely a bullet sized hole in his head. As for if they're familiar... Eh, I'm pretty sure I've seen it on CSI before." He heard a snicker somewhere in the court room and he wanted to give that person high-five.
'Or maybe it was me.' He thought as everyone was looking at him like he was a disgusting piece of filth that was worth less than the dirt on their boots. Jonathan felt particularly offended because if he was gonna be the dirt on anything it would be heels... Or a super awesome shirt like a Batman or Joker shirt.

The next day he was "found" guilty. He interrupted with a quick question.

"Uh sorry, hi. When did you lose me? Was it at some point in my internal monolog- Oh! Wait, you weren't there for that, you should have been it was pretty interesting."

As he looked around he saw many people were questioning his sanity. Mission accomplished. And he already had a breakout plan and it'll only take like a year to set up. More than enough time to become a prison wife and eventually widow.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<•>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When he slept that night he woke up in a very strange "bunkery" looking place.

His first thought?

'If I sit up ad there isn't a cake or coffee. I will murder someone. Again'

There wasn't cake but there was coffee, sadly someone else was drinking it.
'But it's still there so I guess I won't try to kill this guy. Probably. Maybe... Shit, I really want that coffee!'