T H E      P A S T

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Seoul

Summer of 2012

It was a summer fit for a summer romance indeed.

The sweltering summer days passed by with the two being practically glued to each other to make up for lost time. The summer nights were spent with their bodies being as close to each other as possible, lazy evenings wherein the two cuddled and watched TV together or argued on irrelevant topics only for Jimin to shut her up by kissing her.

Early mornings were when they chased the sunlight together and greeted the dawn, wrapped up in each other and the euphoria soaring inside their chests.

Kissing Jimin until he made her toes curl was Kim Hyuna's new personal heaven, her happy place which she didn't want to leave forever.

The summer seemed like that. It held the tantalising promise of forever, yet we all know that even forever is bound to end sometime.

However, the fear of the unknown didn't faze the young lovers. It's often the case with passionate first loves. They get wrapped up in each other completely; the world around them and everything else but their love fading away.

They thus got lost in each other- Hyuna in his eye smiles and his scent which became a soothing solace for her soul and Jimin in the emotions she made him feel, the way his needed and wanted her as much as he needed and wanted air to breathe.

Hyuna and Jimin could be together without the added complications of girlfriends or unrequited crushes or even the scary act of revealing their relationship to her brother because the aforementioned brother was busy, especially now that his face popping up in many advertisements.

The decision of dropping out before the summer break seemed to be a wise for her brother because he could do the thing he loved full time and not just as a part-time job to pay off college tuition.

Hyuna was proud of her brother even if she never said it out loud. Jimin was proud of his best friend too.

Yet both were oblivious as to how to break the news of them being together to him. Fortunately, they didn't have to worry during the summer.

They didn't have to think about anyone, thus they simply acted on their feelings and desires.

***

"Jimin?"

He hummed back a response, nuzzling his face deeper into her neck and sighed, his breath fanning her skin and cooling it better than any air conditioner in the world.

A few streaks of red-gold sunlight emitting from the setting sun peeked in through the windows in Hyuna's room from the white billowy curtains, which was the only source of light for the unlit room. Some of the sunlight was reflected by the silver studs Jimin wore and a few rays illuminated his light pink hair.

She pushed him back a bit, making him rest his face on his elbow as his ebony eyes met hers. Hyuna brushed a few strands of his candy colored hair away, making him grin in approval.

The lovers wore nothing but Hyuna's white sheets which hid their previously sweaty bodies underneath the covers for the sweat had cooled off after they fell asleep in the afternoon.

"What are we doing?" Hyuna asked, her tone somber.

"I'm hoping you will agree for round two?" Mischief and sin; a heady combination which made Hyuna breathless shone in his eyes as he bumped his nose with hers playfully.

"You know what I meant, Jimin." She was still serious, refusing to be swayed by him.

The playful glint melted away in his eyes as he regarded her expression. It had only been a week since he had turned up at her door and kissed her breathless and they hadn't talked much about what this meant and how their relationship would change.

Both were a bit scared at the prospect yet they also couldn't stop falling.

Or maybe it was because they had already fallen for each other, long ago. Timing was always a bitch.

But that summer was full of possibilities. Hope, passion and love.

"I only know one thing, " he began and licked his lips as he gazed into her eyes, "what I feel for you surpasses everything I've remotely felt for anyone. I know that I want to be with you and hold you in my arms and kiss you and fall asleep next to you to wake up with you within my arm's reach."

Hyuna didn't know how to reply or what to reply to that. Her thoughts couldn't be heard in her mind because her heart was being too fast and too loud.

"Will you be mine if I promise to be yours?" He asked, eyes shining with the hope and possibilities and love which the summer night represented.

Hyuna didn't feel the need to reply, for her lips informed him her answer for her instead.

Forever, my love; those lips said.

***

Seoul

Winter of 2012

The summer was endless that year for Hyuna and Jimin.

It spanned for months even when the seasons changed. Even as the days became chilly and nights longer, even as the seasons bled into the end of the year, the lovers were still living in their bubble of a summer romance, which did have it's occasional bumps and pricks which threatened to burst it but never really did achieve the feat.

They fought a lot because old habits seldom die hard. Bickering was a second nature to the duo. The two were always on a perpetual seesaw of sorts; one which they didn't want to dismount, one which they couldn't because they were in too deep.

Hyuna and Jimin kept coming back to each other even if they argued. It was like their souls were bound to each other by the red string of fate.

Whenever they fought, they would sulk for a few days, a week maximum after which they would make up.

She was convinced he was her forever, her soulmate and her one true love and so was he.

Because even after countless fights and disagreements, somehow the two always found themselves unable to resist each other.

They made up for lost time alright. Jimin was not a charmer for no reason after all- He took her out on the most romantic dates.

Be it stargazing together, or walks in their college campus with their hands clasped together and swinging between them; or late midnight drives in Jimin's car to a nearby ice cream café; or even the occasional ice skating which he used to love but she hated because of her clumsiness- Hyuna felt like she was living a dream she didn't want to wake up from.

She loved their pillow talk, snuggling under the covers with their bodies wrapped together; she loved it when Jimin grinned against her own cherry lips, she loved his habit of sleeping with one leg hooked over hers; and she loved how their hands fit together so well, as if it was the universe's way of telling them they belonged together.

She loved how she had to force him to sing to her in his sweeter and fluffier than cotton candy voice because he claimed he didn't really like singing to anyone else but his bathroom mirror but Hyuna knew that underneath it all, he loved it too.

She loved how she would bicker so much with him that he had no choice but to shut her up with his lips. She loved how he would let her play with his ringed fingers while the two lazed around with her head on his shoulder and the slight metallic coolness of the silver in his hands calming her.

She loved how they would argue over the fact that novels were better than motion pictures adaptations of books, with Jimin disagreeing and her siding with her trusty old novels. She loved how the heated argument would lead to Jimin watching the movie adaptation of a book she claimed she love, just to spite her of course, and her giving him spoilers.

She loved him.

She loved him so much that it should have scared her, the magnitude of her feelings but it didn't. It never scared her.

Because whenever she gazed into his eyes, she saw the feelings being reflected back in those orbs.

"Can I have this?" Hyuna asked him one day.

They were sitting beside each other in one of their usual spots in their college library, books spread out in front of them because they had their term end exams before the winter break just round the corner and no matter how much Jimin liked to joke around, he was always serious when it came to studies.

She was playing with the fingers of his left hand because his right was otherwise occupied. Hyuna loved one of his rings; her favourite which was a thin band in the form of twisted ropes forming the symbol of infinity.

He didn't look up from his textbook and the notebook he was furiously jotting down in, he simply hummed in approval yet she knew he hadn't even heard her question.

The only time Jimin was truly quiet was while watching a nail biting soccer match or while studying, with his spectacles propped up on the bridge of his nose and his eyes narrowed in concentration.

He had started wearing contacts in high school, but he claimed that they irritated him while studying and that wearing glasses while going through notes was much simpler and familiar; a habit from school he couldn't get rid of.

"Really?" She bit back her laughter as she removed the ring from his middle finger and slipped into her own. He just nodded and shushed her, eyes still downcast, lips mutely mumbling the points he was writing down as quick revision notes.

Unlike him, Hyuna wasn't too accomplished in the field of concentration. She always had had a hard time with stopping her mind from wandering off to lands unknown and that particular trait didn't leave her as she grew up and the years passed.

Moreover, one could hardly blame her for not concentrating on the essay she knew she had to revise for the exam when he was sitting right next to her, his left hand clasped in hers.

He wore a woolen cap hiding his light locks even inside the library. Jimin would often get cold more than Hyuna. While she had decided to hang the coat she had been wearing over her jeans and sweater behind her chair, he was still wearing his as he kept on bouncing his right knee- a habit which she often pointed out was quite irritating.

Hyuna stilled his knee with her hand which now had his ring, making him finally look up and meet her eyes. She grinned and thanked him for being so generous with his ring and he raised an eyebrow as he exhaled,

"Will you stop it?"

She shook her head and started drawing circles on his knee hidden by his woolen coat which he wore, making him sigh.

When she wiggled her fingers of the ring clad hand in front of his face, befuddled widening of his eyes confirmed her suspicions that he had not heard her at all just like she thought.

"Hey! That's my favorite!" He pouted as he reached for it, only for her to chuckle and retreat her hand behind her back.

"I thought I was your favorite?" She laughed, patting his cheeks.

"Trust me love, you are but-"

She cut him off by placing her finger on his lips, the lips she loved to kiss so much; lips which were more addicting that anything in the whole world.

"You agreed, now no takebacks. Besides, this looks better on me anyway." She teased him by wiggling her fingers again.

He was trying to scowl and glare at her but those rebellious lips of his weren't complying as they pulled up in a grin when he removed his glasses and kept them on the table as he leaned in, touching their foreheads.

"Come to think of it, " He whispered, his breath fanning her lips because they were just a few centimeters away, "my ring on your finger does look good. It's like this universal mark that you belong to me."

"Are you proposing to me, Park Jimin?" Hyuna giggled.

"Maybe." was all he said as he captured her lips with his. Hyuna tugged him closer, making the chair he was sitting on let out a loud creaking sound.

The pair jumped away at once, scared that the librarian would surely reprimand them but when their eyes fell on the knocked out old librarian, his head lolling on the back of his chair, they broke in laughter.

Most of the tables around them were filled but they thankfully sat in a corner where not many students chose to sit and even if they did, they were engrossed in their own world, focused on what they were studying unlike the lovestruck duo.

"I love you so much, love." Jimin said as he leaned in again, squeezing her hand the fingers of which were interlocked with his own; brushing his lips tenderly on hers.

Everytime he said the words, an exhilarating emotion made her heart swell.

"I love you too." She smiled against his lips, a smile which matched his own.

Forever; those lips said.

***

Seoul

Spring of 2013

The love and passion between the two was burning like an eternal flame Hyuna was convinced would never extinguish.

But then spring came, and their endless summer had to end sometime.

Spring is the season of new beginnings. Yet for them, it wasn't. It was the beginning of an end.

"I can't do this anymore."

No one said this but the fizzling out of the flames of their passion became evident when they didn't make up as often as they fought because in the beginning, they used to always come back to each other even after having major arguments yet now they started arguing on petty issues.

Somehow, the duo had been together for months without having been discovered by Hyuna's brother. It wasn't as if she thought her brother would overreact to the fact that she was his best friend's lover- No, it was more of the fact that the revelation would change the trio's relationship dynamics forever.

Keeping their love a secret from her brother was exhilarating at first.

But it started tiring Hyuna, unlike Jimin who wasn't bothered with it at all. In fact, whenever she tried to talk to him about it he brushed it off. It was as if he didn't want  to let her brother know. 

Still, Hyuna didn't mind it because she loved him more than anything in the world.

However, she was only human. A human who started being plagued by uncertainty and self doubt. She started questioning whether they truly belonged with each other or not, because for her the tiring seesaw of their love was becoming unbearable.

The frequency of their fights had started increasing; even though they were based on trivial matters and the ever widening communication gap between the two started making Hyuna feel stifled and tired.

She wanted to get off the tiring seesaw.

They say that your first love is a beautiful one, but they never warn about the scars one gets from their first love, and they don't mention about the heartache at all.

They don't mention that first love seldom lasts forever.

They only paint a rosy picture to the idea of love, the other half of which is purposefully folded and left hidden.

Jimin and Hyuna decided they were moving too fast to make up for lost time.

The couple needed a break away from each other.

They never had an actual conversation about it because it hurt, more so because the couple knew they could have been endgame; that they were somehow meant to be.

However, trying to salvage something which was going downhill would bring both more heartache. They decided to step away and let their raging hearts heal and calm down.

The two still couldn't avoid each other. But they had decided to put a brake on their love and their feelings before their love which had started turning tiresome extinguished completely.

Sometimes to save something, especially love; you have to learn to let go.

It wasn't easy. The two was so used to each other in their lives so the question of not parting on amicable terms was nonexistent. 

Fate helped them in a way. Or maybe their country because Jimin got his draft letter for his compulsory military service that spring. 

Even though they moved too fast, everything for the couple had been natural, as if it was predestined by the stars, as if fate and destiny had already written their stories; Hyuna used to think that.

 Park Jimin along with her brother thus left for their compulsory service in mid-Spring.

 It was ironic that Jimin had to get rid of his cotton candy hair which Hyuna adored so much when all over the country, pink hues of cherry blossoms were blooming.

 Hyuna's brother had to take a two year break from his modelling career just to support his friend because they had made a pact together in high school to go to sign up for the military service together, much to the apparent chagrin of his agency.

The couple had it hard. Out of sight, out of mind could never work with them, because their paths weren't parallel. 

Their paths always seemed to converge and try they may, they could not help it.

Even during his military service, Jimin and his best friend would visit Hyuna during their days off, which themselves were very rare. But when they did, she would grumble about them being stingy and not treating her to better food compared to the soju and snacks from a Pojangmacha.

[a/n- Pojangmacha is form of commercial establishment based out of a small tent (sometimes on wheels) or street food stall found in South Korea. ]

However, surprisingly, it wasn't that awkward between the parted couple. Their hearts were recovering yet they still loved each other. Having known each other for so long, the duo couldn't imagine their lives without each other.

Hyuna was relieved that the possibility of them remaining friends hadn't gone up in the flames that she had let herself be consumed with the previous summer. 

Although her heart still yearned for him, she pushed the feelings away in the same corner of her heart which she used to use during her high school years. 

Spring was a season of new beginnings indeed. It was also a season of moving on.

Forever; it sometimes had a fixed time period.

***

Seoul

Autumn of 2014

"I think you both visit me on your holidays just to spite me." 

Hyuna grumbled at the two very irritating men, still dressed in their uniforms. They had claimed her apartments' living room; hijacked it even. She was regretting giving them her apartment's passcode.

Then again, the writer was usually holed up inside her room so she hadn't realised just how much of a mess the two had made in her living room; surpassing even her own messy self.

Cups of ramen and packets of chips and other snacks along with beer cans littered the coffee table in front of the living room sofa; on which the two men were sat, with their feet propped up on the aforementioned messy table and a tub of popcorn between them. 

Their eyes were fixed on the television screen in front of them, watching a soccer match on ESPN with bated breath, eyes scared of even blinking for the fear of missing out an important goal.

Hyuna was annoyed. Very much so. So much that she stalked towards them and decided to pull out the television plug, inciting a collective groan from the pair seated on the couch.

 Her brother glared and swore at his sister, and Jimin scowled unhappily, jumping to his feet.  He raised his hand to run into his mop of hair (a habit of his) but lowered it almost instantly. 

Jimin must've forgotten for a brief moment that the hair were now in a buzz cut, in their natural black color rather than the dyes he loved to use.

"Why—"

"Because," Hyuna placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes, "you both need to change and get your asses up my couch if we want to make it to our parents' place by nightfall. Do either of you fancy facing my mom's wrath if we don't reach home by tonight and miss  Chuseok? "

The two friends widened their eyes when they realised the time. They visibly gulped at the reminder. Hyuna had inherited her short temper from her mother; and this fact was well known.

"Will you drive?" Jimin teased her with a skeptically raised eyebrow when her brother went to the bathroom to change out of his uniform. 

"Do you think my dearest brother will let me touch his baby?" 

Hyuna retorted with an eye roll, referring to the fact that her one and only brother had refused to even lend her his car even when he was away during his military service, for he didn't trust her with his precious vehicle.

She didn't really argue with him about it though, which was quite a rare feat; mostly because a part of her knew her brother was right. 

Her clumsy self couldn't be trusted with cars, for the sake of world peace.

"He is a bit obsessed with his car, I won't deny." 

Jimin and Hyuna's eyes met as they burst into barely suppressed chuckles, his crescent eyes crinkling.

It was moments like these that those old feelings threatened to creep back in, but she had gotten pretty damn good at dispelling them away.

It was a bit hard at first, especially because the two had not decided any terms about the break they had decided to take. 

To meet his eyes and see the face she loved so much when her brother took his best friend on blind dates during their brief leave to commemorate them starting their military service, when Hyuna and Jimin had just broken up. 

However, her brother didn't know that and even though she knew it was no one's fault but the foolish couple's, she was only human. 

She had felt jealousy gnaw inside her when she heard her brother lightly tease Jimin the next day about the events that had supposedly transpired after their 'double date', events which she so didn't want to know about.

But Hyuna felt that she was on track of getting over Jimin; over the passage of the seasons. She had had practice since their adolescent days after all. 

And even though her heart wasn't patched up enough, she was immersed in her work, in what she loved to do- weaving stories through the intricate web of words inside her mind.

Nevertheless, there were brief moments when her heart wanted to sway. Moments when Jimin managed to creep back from his assigned place inside the abandoned corner of her heart.

Moments like when their hands brushed while eating together, shared laughter on jokes no one remembered, their mutual love for stargazing.

They still loved each other. How could they stop loving each other, when their souls recognized each other, when they were meant to be?

Like Catherine Earnshaw had once said, her infamous quote from the novel Wuthering Heights which became an iconic one and still is- 'Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.' 

Hyuna always got goosebumps whenever she read that particular line from her favorite novel.

Forever; the lips which once used to say were beginning to become content with the sweet cherished memories of their love.