Nyxis whistled. "That went well."

Xanthy glared at him before turning to the water. Her reflection was nothing but a dark silhouette of what should have been the state of her hair. She sighed. Gods, she's a mess. A realization sank in her mind. Did she just meet a monarch with this hair? Unbelievable.

Nyxis chuckled as he stalked closer, taking her gaze's direction into account. "You know," he sat next to her and raised his hands to her hair. "You would not see your reflection in that murky water even if you burn your eyes out."

Xanthy clenched her jaw but she let him run his hands through the length of her locks. Her heart twinged at the memory of June doing the exact same thing before all this went down. She was tempted to pull away but Nyxis finished early by tying her hair back with a piece of twine. He scooted a few inches away from her.

"So," he crossed his legs, sending the pad they're seated in bobbing. "We should talk."

Xanthy's mouth dried up. That was the last thing she wanted to do right now. Couldn't she just sleep and pretend everything that had happened ever since her house got ransacked by Civil Guards was just a bad, bad dream?

She raised her eyes to meet Nyxis's. She forgot how beautiful they were. Then again, looks were the last thing that mattered in this world Xanthy found herself in. Right now, Nyxis was the only solid wall keeping her steady and sane. For that, she was grateful.

She reached up to twine a lock of hair around her fingers but all she found was air. Oh, yeah. Nyxis tied it up for her. She sighed. This wasn't going to end well.

Nyxis played with his fingers; his lips were pursed. Xanthy understood the hesitation. There were a lot of things between them that needed addressing. She, too, wouldn't know where to start. There's a ton of questions she had been deferring to answer, and ones that she, herself, needed to ask.

"What is the plan?" Nyxis's voice echoed weakly inside the dim room enclosed by branches. Xanthy sighed, matching the fatigue laced in his tone.

She needed Nyxis's help for what she's about to do. She was asking Nyxis too much for this but not once did she hear a complaint from him. Nyxis was even willing to set aside his resentment towards June just for her. Why?

"I am going after the chalice," she gritted her teeth as she forced herself to meet Nyxis's eyes and hold his stare. "No matter the cost."

Nyxis's face crumpled into what looked like anger and confusion, like he couldn't bring himself to be angry but he still was and he couldn't stop it. "Xanthy, why?" his tone dropped into a harsh edge.

Xanthy didn't speak. Nyxis scoffed. "Why would you even consider doing that? Why are you wasting your energy for him?" his voice rose a few notches. "Why do you have to throw away your chance in helping in the war in exchange of being with this pathetic vegetable who betrayed you for his freedom? He almost got your legacy taken by the Heiress. He traded you to the High Queen like a bargaining chip. He lied to you, hurt you, and treated you in a way you do not deserve."

Nyxis inclined his head at her. "Why?"

That single word echoed in Xanthy's hollow heart. The amount of emotion in Nyxis's voice was enough to send her stomach churning and her heart wrenching. This was almost a replay of what happened after Rutoria left. Still, was that how much Nyxis cared for her all this time?

"Why are you here, Nyxis?" she asked quietly. If she could take everything she said and did back, she would. "Why are you helping me when all I have done is make bad decisions?"

Nyxis opened his mouth then closed it. He stared at her with wide eyes. "Because you are my friend," he said. "You helped me in my worst moments. You were there for me even when I denied that I needed it. You are the only one who treated me like I am not a burden," he tapped his chest. "You made me feel like I matter."

He cupped his hand against his mouth. His eyes shone. "You are my only friend, Xanthy," his voice was strained. Clipped. "I do not want to lose what little we have."

"This thing," he sniffed as he gestured at the space between them. "This is what threatens us right now."

"What would you rather hear me say?" Xanthy's own voice cracked as a lump of emotions accumulated in her throat. "What would you rather have me do?"

"Stay," Nyxis raised his head. Anguish and something far deeper flashed across his eyes. "Help us win this war."

Xanthy glanced in June's direction before turning back to Nyxis. "What about him?"

"He can rot in the afterlife, for all I care," Nyxis crossed his arms.

Xanthy shook her head. "You do not mean that."

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Xanthy shook her head once more. She wouldn't argue with him about this more than she already did. He could rot in his hatred, for all she cared. She sighed. "You know," she started. She tapped a finger against the pad's smooth surface. Dread grew in her heart as if she had just swallowed one of the branches that made up the walls.

She didn't want to see Nyxis get angry ever again. When she says what's been bothering her, he would be. Nyxis knitted his eyebrows. "Do I know what?" he asked.

Xanthy cleared her throat, ridding it of the lump gradually growing again. "You know," she blinked back the tears that pricked at her eyes. Why was she going to cry again? Hadn't she cried enough? "I never wanted any of this."

Nyxis didn't speak. Xanthy scooted back and rested her head against the mattress propped atop this specific pad. It's amazing how Nyxis hadn't looked for a mirror since they got here. He seemed oblivious of the dirt smeared on his face or at the state of his clothes, too.

Xanthy blew a breath and gazed up at the ceiling made of criss-crossing branches. If she could just close her eyes and stay like this forever...

She clenched her jaw and forced her eyes to stay open. No. She would see this through. No matter anyone's opinion. She cocked her head in Nyxis's direction and found him studying her. "If I could redo everything all over again," she gave him a light smile. "I would choose not to go with June. I will run far away from that house the moment he falls on my roof."

A light chuckle shook her shoulders. "I mean, look at me," she said. "I got everything I wanted. I learned magic, I traveled far and wide, I met new people—fairies too! I even got away with finding a boyfriend," she swallowed against the bile rising to her mouth at the mention of that word. "But this—" she gestured to her form and shook her head against the soft mattress behind her head. "This would not happen if I am not chosen, if I am not whatever I am."

Nyxis's lips were pressed in a thin line. He was tracing vague figures at the pad's surface. Xanthy rubbed her face. "I lost a friend, more times than I can count. I lost half of my soul. I got betrayed, over and over again. I broke more promises I am sure Daexis will see my soul be damned in the Afterlife," a dry laugh escaped her lips. "I lost my love. I hurt a lot of people, not because I want to, but because I existed. People died because of me. Battles are being fought because I have to be retrieved, like a—a treasure."

She spat out that last word, never once liking the sound of it in her tongue. Nyxis remained still. His eyes searched hers. "Yet I loved," Xanthy continued, her voice cracking. Tears broke free and slid from her eyes before dropping into the mattress "I am still here, helping the one who betrayed me. I am willing to fight for the world even if it does nothing but make my life hell. I kept going despite everything."

She rose from the mattress and faced Nyxis. Scalding tears burned a trail down her cheeks when she didn't bother wiping them. "Despite everything, Nyxis," her lips quivered and sobs shook her chest. "I lived, helped, fought. I loved people despite everything. It is just...hard."

Sobs shook her shoulders as her head found its cradle in her hands. It shouldn't have ended this way with her breaking down in front of Nyxis. This...this wasn't her.

"I am so tired, Nyxis," she drawled, her voice no more than a croak. "I am so tired of everything. I am tired of seeing battles fought over me. I am tired of seeing people I care about get hurt. I am tired of running for my life. I am tired of witnessing lives get ruined, cities uprooted, people dead. I am tired of this war," she inhaled a deep breath. "I am so, so tired of everything."

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Her skin came away with a smear of dirt apparently from her cheeks. "That is why I am going to do this," she sniffed and swallowed against her scratchy throat. "If everyone is going to treat me like some kind of heirloom, I might as well become one."

"So you are going to run?" Nyxis's question was low.

Xanthy picked at the hem of her tunic. "Is that selfish?"

Nyxis scoffed. "Is that selfish?" he shook his head. "Of course it is! You—you are given the power to change the world, to save it. A-and you are going to waste it because, what? You get tired?" He spread his arms. "Well, guess what? I get tired too!" His face resembled an ajilte now as he faced her. "We get tired of the fighting. We get tired of the war. We get fed up with everything as well. Is that all of your reasons for not staying?"

Xanthy could feel the tears rising again. She didn't mean to whine. Of course, people around her, people who had helped her get where she was, they get tired too. She coughed. "That is not the only reason," she glanced at June's unmoving form again. "He is an heir. He can help you fight in the war more than I can."

Hate roiled off Nyxis's narrowed eyes. "You think that traitor will fight against the Heiress when he sold you to her?"

"He will because he will owe it to me," Xanthy crossed her arms and ignored how thick her voice had become. "Why do we keep going back to that?"

Nyxis shoved his hand into his hair. Xanthy raised her eyebrows. He looked like he's ready to rip his hair off his scalp. "Because it is the issue that matters most," he said, each word hard and sharp. "Why are you still willing to help him?"

"I—" Xanthy opened her mouth but found nothing to say. Everything's already out there and all Nyxis had to do was to piece it together.

She wanted to heal June not because she loved him but because she needed to escape this world, to run, and to somehow find herself. She had to give him another chance at living without anyone telling him what to do or who to follow.

A life without the shadow of prophecies and destiny where he would be able to do the things she wasn't given the privilege to do—that's what she wanted. Just for him to write his own story, just like how he let her experience it all those times they stole a kiss under the moonslight, or when she let her heart be his even if she knew it was just for a brief moment.

She wanted him to live for himself. Just that. In this war-stricken world, it's the best thing she could offer to the person who showed her what living was like and what living could be.

Perhaps, Nyxis could already read it from her face when he sighed and pushed his hair off his forehead. "I am so angry I could punch whichever showed its face first," he rubbed his forehead as he propped an elbow against his knee. "I just do not get it. Nothing makes sense anymore."

"Nothing makes sense anymore," Xanthy echoed, nodding.

Nyxis's lips twitched as if he didn't know whether to laugh or frown. "I never knew you felt that way."

"Likewise," Xanthy wiped the stray tears that escaped. "I never knew you felt that way, too."

Nyxis scooted closer and held out his hand. "I still have questions about your decision and about its overall impact to our lives and to this war," he blew a breath. "But I understand."

Xanthy twined her fingers with his as he laid his forehead atop hers. She closed her eyes. "I can never stay angry at you," Nyxis whispered. His breath tickled her nose. "It sucks to be angry. I do not want to do that ever again."

"I am sorry, for everything," Xanthy whispered back.

A smile was evident in Nyxis's tone. "I am sorry, too," he said. "I just—I worry."

Xanthy opened her eyes to find Nyxis staring at her with their faces closer than they ever dared to. "Choices," she squeezed Nyxis's hand. "Those are all we have."

He nodded. "Choices are all we have."

A distant bell clanged and the wall of branches slowly peeled back in light creaks. Footsteps echoed from the corridor beyond the room.

They stayed huddled against each other, neither one breaking contact. Xanthy gazed up into Nyxis's eyes. "Promise me you will take care of him while I am gone," she said. "I know I am asking so much considering what you feel about him—"

Nyxis stopped her with a quick kiss on her cheek. There was nothing into it, not even affection. Before she could react, Nyxis rested his hand against the side of her neck. The warmth from his palm settled something inside Xanthy's heart. "I promise with my life that I am going to make him see the light of day again," he said gently. "For you."

Xanthy circled her arms around his shoulders, resting her head on the crook of his neck. "Thank you," she whispered. There were a thousand things she should be thanking him for but nothing came out but those two words. Was it enough?

Would they ever be enough?

Nyxis's chuckle was an answer to her unspoken question. He snaked his arm around her waist and held her tighter. "It is forever my pleasure."

"The Grand Royal expects you in the Hall," Eldan's silky voice rang from the room's arched entrance. When they broke apart, Xanthy caught a glimpse of the man's face to find his eyes glinting in the dim light. Were those tears? A blink later and they were gone before she could confirm.

Eldan smiled at them. "Follow me."