[ Don't Eat Weird Magical Mushrooms ]

[ Takes place before the attack on the Royal Capital ]

They really should have expected this happening at some point.

Then again, they never really thought of the consequences of Charmy's experimental dishes.

The Black Bulls were sprawled across the lounge in their own states of disarray as they groaned in dismay and stress of their situation. Their breath hitched as the sound of rattling reached their ears. Straightening, each mage surveyed the area warily for source of the sound.

Their attention soon snapped to Finral as he squealed, nearly falling off the couch as his eyes met with large doe-like ones.

"Eeek! H-How- W-Wha— When did you get there?!" He yelped, clutching his chest as he stared frozen in the most ridiculous pose as if protecting himself from the threat that was the tiny little thing sitting most innocently beside him.

The squad could only watch warily as cyan eyes stared up at them. They slumped when all they got was a beaming smile and a shake of a rattle from their now chibi-sized vice-captain.

How did this happen?

Well, let's take this back a few hours, shall we?

"Everyone! Breakfast is ready!" Charmy called in a sing-song quality as she and her sheep carried trays of food to the dining hall.

The Black Bulls gave their cheers of appreciation, seeing the various meals. Grasping their utensils, each grabbed portions of their favourite dishes and some they have yet to try. They knew it would all be delicious in the end anyway.

Having a rare day with not many papers to be done, Delphia stretched happily as she grabbed her own dishes. She blinked, raising a brow as she found a pasta dish she was unfamiliar with. Taking the plate, she sniffed it, brows furrowing at the ingredients' sweet and savoury scent.

"Charmy, what is this?" She wondered.

The shorter woman gulped down the food she had stuffed in her mouth and tilted her head. She brightened at the dish.

"Oh! It's a new pasta dish! I found a new ingredient and thought I'd make something! Try it, try it!" She cheered.

Delphia hummed in thought. It didn't look dangerous, rather appetizing, in fact. Plus, it was pasta~ her favourite! Since it was a rather small dish, the violet-haired woman thought her squad wouldn't mind if she ate this one plate for herself. With the buffet of food, they surely wouldn't miss it.

Taking a bite, her eyes widened minutely as the savoury flavour exploded across her tongue. She moaned in appreciation as she took another bite. Finral watched her, flushed from the rather... obscene audio Delphia was providing as she ate. But he couldn't help the fond affection from growing as he chuckled at how her eyes were practically sparkling as she devoured the pasta.

"Looks good, can I have some?" He asked teasingly.

Delphia frowned at him, staring between her friend and the dish. Seeing the reluctance, Finral chuckled, raising his hands in surrender.

"Nevermind. It's all yours," He grinned much to her relief and his amusement.

"Charmy, what did you put in this?" Delphia inquired as she finished up the plate.

"Heh heh~" Charmy smirked, "I found a new breed of mushrooms near one of the grand magic zones! Since they weren't poisonous, I thought I'd make them into a creamy pasta dish for you!"

Delphia's eyes softened as she patted the shorter woman's head in thanks at her thoughtfulness and enthusiasm to make her a new dish.

"It was delicious, Charmy," She complimented before taking a swig of her coffee.

Stretching once more, she picked herself up from the bench, pouring herself another cup of her lifeblood to take with her.

"Eh? Done already, Phia?" Vanessa wondered, pouting at the younger woman.

The vice-captain only shrugged, "I have work to do. But there isn't much so hopefully I'll be done soon. Maybe we could have a girl's day today."

The witch's eyes sparkled. It's been a while since they had one of those. Delphia always gave the best messages during their girl's appreciation days.

"Hurry back then~" Vanessa cooed as she left. Delphia chuckled, waving the busty witch away as she returned back to her office.

* * * * *

Since it was their day off, the squad had taken to playing games to pass the time.

Magna struggled with himself as he stared at Luck's ever-smiling face. Sweat trailed down from his temple as he stared at the two cards being offered to him. Noelle and Asta watched with bated breath as his hand travelled from one card to the other. Inhaling deeply, the fire user finally made his choice.

"NOT AGAIN!" He cried, the joker card seemingly laughing up at him from the table where it had fallen when he realized he had lost once more.

"Ha ha! You really suck at this game, Magna!" Luck laughed.

"Why I oughta—" A vein throbbed in his temple as he rolled up his sleeve as if ready to pound the fight addict blond.

"Hey, have you guys seen Phia?" Finral wondered as he returned from the office with a tray still full of food. He was frowning as he looked around the lounge for the violet-haired mage. She might have come down when he was on his way to bring her lunch since she hasn't shown up. "I was waiting in her office, but she didn't come back."

"Hmph, probably in the kitchen, getting more coffee."

Vanessa was rather sulky, pushing an empty wine bottle back and forth on the floor as she laid across one of the sofas. The witch had been hoping Delphia would come out so they could spend time together. Usually, when the violet-haired woman said she didn't have much work, she'd get it done within the hour, but she had yet to see the tarot user even hours later. Of course, she could have been mailed more work from headquarters, but she would have given the witch a warning that they'd have to put their plans on hold.

"That's the thing..." Finral's face was somewhat disturbed as he held the tray in one arm to hold up a mug of coffee, "Her mug's still full. It's even cold. I think it's the same cup from this morning, but it looks like she only took a few sips from it."

The squad shared concerned looks. Delphia would never let her coffee cool or go to waste like that. Could it be... was she—

"KIDNAPPED!" Asta cried as waved his arms, running around the room in a panic, "PHIA-SENPAI'S BEEN KIDNAPPED! WE HAVE TO SAVE-"

Goo~

The squad froze, Asta blinking in confusion as he slowly dropped his arms back to his side. "What was that?" He wondered.

Giggle

"I'm not the only one hearing that, right?" Noelle paled. She recalled all the stories Solid would tell her as a child about moving dolls and creepy ghost children to scare her. Of course, they weren't true, but the older Silva would even sneak into her room to rearrange the placement of her dolls to frighten her more. What if some of the stories were true?

Hearing the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps, the squad twisted and turned in search of the source.

Noelle clutched her chest, paler than usual, as she looked around warily. A shiver ran down her spine as she felt something grip her leg. Turning her head down slowly, she shrieked at the toddler clutching onto her.

"Ohmy— I'm sorry unrestful spirit! Forgive me! Please don't hurt me!" The royal pleaded, falling to the floor and bowing to child.

"What are you talking about?" Asta asked as he made his way over. He grinned, wiggling his fingers at the toddler, causing her to giggle and lifted her into his arms. Propping her on his hip, he tilted his head at Noelle's still prostrating figure. "It's just a kid, Noelle."

The Silva blinked, quickly getting up onto her feet as she crossed her arms. Ignoring the burning on her cheeks, she closed her eyes. "I-I knew that!" She huffed, flipping her hair back. Opening an eye to peek at Asta and the baby, she frowned. "W-what's a baby doing here anyway?"

"O-oi... Don't you think the baby kind of looks like someone?" Magna laughed nervously.

The squad crowded around in front of the baby as they peered at the toddler.

Stare~

The baby giggled, cyan eyes sparkling as her hands opened and closed, reaching for several squad members.

Wait... cyan eyes?

A lightbulb practically exploded above their heads as they finally made the connection.

"I-It can't be..." Vanessa breathed.

"Y-Yeah, it can't be! T-That's impossible!" Magna laughed, though it was strained.

"It's Grey," Gauche commented firmly.

The group turned as one to stare at the heavy-set man with slicked black hair that stood staring down at them. Whoosh~

"PHIA?!" They cried, swinging back to the baby.

Their hearts practically stopped as the baby cheered at the nickname.

"H-How did this happen?" Finral cried, clutching his head. Oh god, if the news travelled, he didn't want to think about what would happen.

"Is it a curse?" Vanessa wondered as she poked the pudgy cheeks of her shrunken vice-captain. She couldn't help but coo at the giggle the action brought out.

Finral blinked as he remembered this morning's breakfast. His head whipped around to Charmy, who held up a bottle of milk. Asta thanked the short woman as he cradled Delphia carefully and fed her.

"C-Charmy... the pasta dish Phia ate this morning... what did you put in it?" He inquired.

The black-haired mage blinked, tilting her head back as she held her chin in thought. "Hmmm... just some new mushrooms I found."

"Ah..." He nodded slowly as he sweatdropped, "And these mushrooms... was there anything strange about them?"

"Well, now that I think about it... when I first tried them, I passed out!" She said brightly, "I don't remember anything that happened, but I fell asleep for a few hours! Since nothing happened and they tasted really good, I thought Phia would like them!"

Finral anime fell at her words. Charmy passed out, and she still thought they were okay to bring back! At least the effects only seem to last a few hours, he sighed heavily. The squad could last until the end of the day, right? Nothing they couldn't handle, right?

Famous last words, those thoughts were.

* * * * *

"Huh... didn't think you'd be good with brats, Asta," Magna commented as he watched how easily Asta took care of their vice-captain turned baby.

The ash-blond grinned, tickling the toddler's belly as he sat back with her on his lap. "Thanks! Yuno and I were the oldest in the church, so we took care of the younger ones whenever Sister Lily and the Old Man were too busy."

"We're back~" Vanessa called as she stepped through a spatial portal with Finral and Noelle.

Seeing as they weren't equipped with anything for a baby, the trio made a quick trip to the market for clothes and other necessities. The group shared a look as they sifted through the bags for some diapers and clothes.

"So... who's going to change her?"

Silence.

"Not it!" Luck grinned as he bounded back.

"What about Vanessa or Noelle since they're girls?" Asta asked.

"Sorry, boya~ But I've never changed a diaper in my life." Vanessa shrugged.

"Noelle?"

The Silva huffed, crossing her arms as she turned her head away, "I'm royalty! Why would I do that?"

Finral laughed nervously, "Well, out of the squad, I think only Asta and Gauche have any actual experience with kids."

They all turned to the sis-con with pleading eyes. The brunet's eye twitched as he growled. Pushing past the group, he grabbed the clothes and diaper.

"Thanks, Gauche!" They cheered.

"10,000 yuls! Each!" He called back, much to their dismay. The mirror user would have done it anyway, but he may as well get something out of it. He's running out of money for his Marie crafting hobby anyway.

The girls cooed, fawning over the adorableness that was their vice-captain. Gauche had dressed her up nicely in a charming, ruffled dress and had even done up her curly violet hair into a tiny ponytail with a bow on top to match her dress.

"How precious~" Vanessa smiled as Delphia reached out to tug on her own pink locks. "I never would have thought Phia would be such a happy baby."

"You know, this might not be so bad." Magna grinned as he stole their vice-captain, much to the girls' protest. "Though I wonder..."

The squad held their breaths as Magna dropped Delphia into Gordan's arms. They watched as the toddler stared up at his face, silent and still. Gordan felt himself sweat as he held Delphia away from him. As much as he wanted to cradle her, he could still remember all the reactions children had to him when they met him. He blinked in surprise when the toddler in his arms cooed, babbling at him happily as she reached out to him.

He gazed off in shock as he held her against his chest, Delphia reaching up to pat his cheek almost soothingly.

"Wow~" Magna whistled, grinning, "Did not see that coming."

"I guess we won't have any problems then!" Luck laughed.

"I guess not," Finral agreed. "Phia doesn't seem to be much of a problem, so we should be fine."

"How'd this happen, anyway?" Noelle pondered.

The spatial user sighed as he pointed a thumb over his shoulder at Charmy, who was now making some baby food for Delphia. "One of the dishes she made this morning had some weird mushrooms in it. Phia ate the whole plate, but from my understanding, it should only last until the end of the day."

The group sweatdropped. Of course, Charmy would be the one to end up accidentally poisoning and shrinking one of them with her experimental dishes. They really should have seen this coming.

"So, what should we do until then?" Noelle asked.

The group was silent. They didn't have much experience with entertaining babies. Even Gauche couldn't speak up as he spent most of his time stealing enough food for Marie to eat when they were kids, and when their parents were still alive, he had his mother around to help him.

"Do we have any paint?"

Magna and Luck tilted their head in confusion. "What?"

* * * * *

"I couldn't find paint, but I found some coloured ink jars in Phia's office!" Magna grinned as he and Luck brought an armful of jars and stacks of paper with him.

"A-Are you sure we're allowed to take those?" Noelle questioned worriedly.

Magna waved her off, "It's fine. We'll just replace them later."

Asta grinned as he placed Delphia on the sofa, the table being pushed right up against it for her to reach. The violet-haired baby blinked as the stationary was placed in front of her. Taking a blank paper, Asta grabbed a brush, dipping it in ink and drew a smiley face. Delphia's eyes brightened, and she giggled, reaching out for the brush.

The ash-blond felt a sense of accomplishment as he handed her the brush and watched as she began to doodle using the various inks.

"Wow, Asta! It's a good thing you're here!" Finral gave him a thumbs up, "That should keep her entertained until this is over!"

"It's nothing," Asta grinned as he blushed.

With Delphia distracted, the squad split, returning to their own activities, though they kept an eye out for their chibi.

Taking his eye off of Delphia for a second to focus on their new card game, Magna's eyes widened, his sunglasses falling when he brought his head back up, only to find the baby missing.

"O-oi... where's Phia?" He croaked weakly.

Noelle and Asta blinked, twisting around only to see the table Delphia was drawing at empty. Their cards dropped, and eyes widened as they jumped to their feet.

"WHERE'D SHE GO?!"

"Look!" Vanessa waved, pointing towards the floor.

There, splattering across the floor, was a bright blue puddle of ink, beginning a trail of tiny footprints.

"If we just follow the trail, we should find her!" Finral brightened.

"Let's go!"

So focused on the trail, the group failed to notice where exactly they were going.

"Wait!" Vanessa called out as the boys raced ahead of them. "This is—"

The men cried out in pain as several trap spells were triggered by their presence. Noelle and Vanessa winced, staring apologetically at them.

"—the girl's hallway."

The boys groaned as they carefully crawled through a portal Finral provided for them to get to the end of the hall where the trail continued. Their eyes widened as they stood and found the footsteps going down both the left and right hallways. Magna scratched his head in confusion, his head snapping back and forth between the two corridors.

"Wha— how'd she manage this?!"

Finral groaned as he nearly smacked his forehead against the wall. At this point, no logic seemed to fit Delphia. "J-Just split up..." He sighed. "We should find her eventually."

Of course, they didn't expect the chaos following their vice-captain's trail would bring them.

"AHHH! HOW'D SHE EVEN GET DOWN HERE!" Asta cried as he was once more eaten by the magical beasts. Magna and Noelle yanked him out as they ran off.

"M-My Marie collection..." Gauche was practically dying as he slumped in his own cloud of depression, seeing the ink staining many of the Marie memorabilia he had made over the years.

"S-She actually went on the roof?!" Finral was crouched, curled up on himself as he ruffled his hair in confusion of how his vice-captain made a trail up onto the roof of all places.

"A TRAP ROOM?!" Magna yelled as he dodged pillar after pillar. Luck laughed as he used reinforcement magic to do the same, avoiding several spikes that sailed past him. Gordan was already knocked out behind them, having been the first to enter and unable to dodge the swinging rock that came at them upon their entrance.

Charmy stared around, horrified at the state of the kitchen. Food was thrown across the floor and walls, with some questionable sauces bubbling and dripping from the ceiling. "All this food... wasted." She whispered.

The squad trudged and fell on any available piece of furniture in the lounge, pained and tired from their search. They have spent hours searching and were dirty, wounded, yet still haven't found their vice-captain.

"Where did she go?" Vanessa moaned.

Bark!

They blinked, wincing as they picked themselves up only to find Grey in Delphia's favourite transformation of a wolf, sniffing at the trail. They barked once more, nodding their head towards the slightly opened entrance of their base, where the ink trail continued.

The group paled significantly at the implications.

"You don't think..." Magna laughed nervously.

"She couldn't have..." Vanessa sweated.

"We're so dead..." Finral whimpered.

"What's goin' on here?"

The squad paled at the voice. They turned, meeting the narrowed eyes of their captain.

"Captain Yami!"

We're so dead! They cried mentally.

"What happened to you guys?" He quirked a brow. "And what's this mess?"

The members exchanged looks, trying to get someone to explain before they unanimously pushed Finral forward. The spatial user gulped as he met Yami's glaring eyes.

"W-well, y-you see..." Finral was sweating as he fidgeted in his place, "T-This morning, P-Phia... well she..."

"You gonna tell me or what?"

Finral closed his eyes as he practically yelled, "Phia turned into a baby, and we lost her!"

Hearing no response, he opened his eyes hesitantly, the rest of his squad hiding behind him and using him as a shield as they watched their captain warily.

"Oh, you mean this brat."

Yami leant down, grabbing something from behind him. They gaped as he held up an ink-stained Delphia by the collar of her dress, much like she was some unruly pup. Said toddler giggled as she cooed, making grabby hands at the foreigner.

Yami smirked as he tapped the baby's chin, cradling her with one arm as he gazed lazily at his squad.

"Found her wandering by the bathroom. Looked harmless, so I brought her to my room for a nap." The squad anime fell as Yami shrugged nonchalantly.

They went through all that only for her to be sleeping peacefully with their captain.

"How long she gonna stay this way?" He wondered, allowing his pint-sized vice-captain to crawl up onto his shoulder. He kept a hand steady on her back to keep her from falling.

"Umm... she ate a whole plate... so maybe a couple more hours?" Finral estimated.

Yami grunted, falling onto the couch. Delphia giggled as she was thrown in the air and caught by the burly man. Yami smirked. He can't deny, Delphia was a cute baby.

"Clean up this mess in the meantime. I'll watch the brat."

The squad groaned but followed their orders. Seeing how difficult it was to get the ink stains out, they grumbled. They should have given Phia crayons instead.

The Black Bulls later found themselves sprawled across the lounge once more, quiet as they took in the moment of peace from the rather eventful day. After cleaning, Delphia took to pulling another one of her disappearing acts, only to be found in her own room playing with her tarot cards. They placed the blame on the fact she was a Rotta. They were known for their wandering habits, after all.

Miles away a blond and cyan eyed man sneezed, triggering a trap spell in the dungeon he was now exploring.

Finral yawned as he laid back, Delphia napping across his chest as one of his hands, patted her back soothingly to keep her asleep.

The squad blinked in surprise, sitting up as a cloud of smoke suddenly engulfed the spatial user and baby. As the smoke faded, their eyes widened, cheeks red at what they were seeing.

Finral coughed, waving a hand in front of him to clear the smoke. Blinking, he frowned as the weight on his chest became heavier. His breath hitched, his purple eyes meeting with lidded cyan.

"P-Phia!" He squeaked.

Delphia blinked lazily, rubbing her eyes as she stared at the spatial user in confusion. "Finral?" She murmured.

Finral blushed, feeling her breath brush against his cheeks. His eyes trailed down, cheeks burning as he realized Delphia's bare chest was pressed against his own, her long violet hair covering all her important bits.

Blood exploded from his nose as Finral fell back, passing out from the suggestive scene presented to him.

Delphia blinked as she turned to the rest of her squad, unbothered by her bareness and position.

"What happened?"

[ Extra ]

"Hey... these papers, where'd you get them from?"

After realizing their vice-captain had no recollection of what happened, the squad explained everything. Delphia had only sighed, staring up at the ceiling as if she should have expected this.

After slipping on some clothes, the vice-captain had looked over the little doodles she had made in her baby form.

"Your office, why?" Magna answered distractedly. He grinned as he threw a pair onto the discard pile of cards on the table.

The group tensed, feeling an ominous atmosphere fill the room. They turned slowly and reluctantly, wincing at the dark aura surrounding their captain.

"You morons..." They paled as Delphia flipped the doodles around, revealing organized writing, ruined by the ink bleeding through the papers from the drawings.

The Black Bulls yelped as they quickly vacated the lounge much to the ire of their vice-captain.

"Oh, you better run..." 

- - - - - - - - - - -

Happy one-year anniversary to the publishing of Coddiwomple! That's right, it's been a whole year people. 

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. If you have any ideas for specials like this comment here! 

Thank you everyone for your support in this fanfic, and I hope you all continue on his journey with Delphia and enjoy the story! This is ISLE MAIA and expect an update soon! :D 

UPDATED: 21/08/20

PS. ARMY! HAVE YOU HEARD DYNAMITE?! BECAUSE I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN <3