Hand in hand we leave Sebastian's room. Reluctantly on both our parts if I am completely honest with you.

I mean I love seeing Sebastian perform.  Him on a stage is honestly a huge turn on.  But I'm pretty sure this concert is going to be long.

Like torture.

Sweet, sweet torture.

We stop in the hallway outside of the Dalton Auditorium. I've been in this school so many times but this whole area is completely new to me. Sebastian reaches out to gently stroke my cheek, tilting my chin up so that I can look into his eyes. Such a clear sea green that I could drown in them.

"Love, I've got to go.  They need me in the rehearsal room.  But I'll see you from stage.  We've planned all these amazing things.  I hope you like it."

I can't help the smile on my face, he just looks so sweet right now. My arms tighten around his waist as I bury my face in the front of his blazer. My voice is slightly muffled when I speak. "Bastian, as much as love to hear you sing, I just don't think I can bear being away from you right now." He chuckles as he drops a kiss in my hair. "Princess, it will just be for a little while. Then you can have me, forever...."

Pulling away he ushers me over to these cushioned benches right outside of the auditorium. There is still a little over an hour left before the concert so the doors are not open yet. I'm not even sure if my friends are here yet, or where Blaine is. Where did he stay last night anyway??

"Shannon, mon bébé, you wait here okay? I'm sure your friends will be here soon. And I'll see you from the stage." I nod up at him as he takes my hand in his, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. And then he is off, a whisper of I love you Sebastian trailing after him in his wake.

I sigh. I'm alone now in a school full of people.

How beautifully ironic.

But now I'm bored. I check my phone to see if anyone has contacted me yet about coming to the concert. I know they're coming, well some of them. Mainly because Puck was on the phone with Sebastian this morning. I giggle to myself as I mull that little fact over.

Sebastian friends with Puck.

And I'm pretty sure Puck is also friends with Hunter as well.

What an odd little life I lead.

My phone pings while I have it still in my hand, lighting up with a new message on my screen.

Blaine.

Aladdin: Belle, stayed in Trent's room last night. His roommate was at a hotel with his parents. I should be there soon. Where are you exactly?

I shake my head as I read his message, I should have figured that is where he would be. Quickly I compose a response to him. Mainly so I don't have to sit here alone much longer.

To Aladdin: I'm right outside of the auditorium. Bas already left me to go warm up with the rest of the guys. Please come soon and entertain me. I'm lonely..... 😥

My screen lights up again almost instantaneously with his response, telling me he'll be here in 15 minutes tops. I sigh to myself as I slip my phone back into my purse. It is only then do I remember that I have my small notebook in my purse as well. The one I have been writing thoughts, poems, prospective song lyrics in.

I've already preregistered for my classes for fall semester at UCLA. And as part of my track I'm taking a few creative writing and songwriting classes. So why not use some of what I already have? Writing has never really been an issue for me, it is just putting your feelings down on paper. And a lot of what I have here could easily be added to music. It is something to really consider now that I think about it.

My fingers flip deftly through the pages. Some things from way back catching my eye.

Do you really have everything you want?
You could never give something you ain't got
You can't run away from yourself
Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face
Have I been erased
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

Wow.

That was something I wrote about Jason, most likely right after the whole situation with Becky came to light.

So angry.

It just seems like ages ago that I was in the type of mindset. That type of anger bubbling inside of me.

A lifetime ago.

I smile to myself as I flip through the notebook to a fresh, clean page. And I begin to write. Everything and nothing that comes to my mind. Not really aiming for something in particular, just hoping to get my stream of consciousness out of my head.

I think I would miss you even if we'd never met.

At night, when I close my eyes, I see you in my dreams. Your face, your smile. And it makes me happy. So endlessly happy.

Green eyes give me butterflies.

I laugh to myself. I'm absolutely hopeless here. None of this makes much sense to me at all. So I try again. Just writing what I feel.

I am lost. Am I wrong? Am I right? I swear all of this feels right. So very right. Yet wrong at the exact same time. In the end of it all, when the world falls away, I will wish I were with you. But I know that may not end up being the case. And it kills me inside a little every time. But I love the torture, the pain. The delicious pain.

I'm so wrapped up in my writing, doodling now in my notebook that I don't even fully register when someone drops down onto the bench beside me. That is until their voice filters through the haze in my mind.

"Belle, whatcha writing? This looks really interesting."

I turn to see Blaine sitting beside me now, his finger pointing to some words I wrote in my notebook.

Sometimes memories, feelings or people can have colors attached to them.
Jason = Blue: vibrant then dark, fading to light.  Much like my feeling for him.
Hunter = Green: duh. Cause hunter green is a color. But really, olive, moss. Mystical and entrancing.  Drawing me in, everything else be damned.
Blainey = White: Calming. Rational. Keeping me centered.  Whole.
Puck = Black: Dangerous, bad but in a good way. Confident and protective.
Rach = Gold: Striving for perfection, dramatic. She will be a great glittering star.

He laughs as he reads over my words, "Shann, you are so weird sometimes. But what about this one?" And he points to the last thing that I wrote on the page, circled multiple time after writing it. As if to emphasize my point.

Bastian = RED. Deep fiery red. Burning. Scorching. A shooting star. Passionate, fast, hungry, sexual and sensual. Hard yet soft at the same time. Loving him is red, definitely red. Seared deep in my mind, permanently.

My eyes raise from the page, finally taking in the words that my subconscious mind directed my hands to write. "I'm brainstorming a song for later..."