Stefan, Damon, Alaric and I were going to Portland, Oregon to track down the Gemini Coven.

Kai, the freak that Damon had been stuck with, the one from the prison world of 1994, was still over there with Bonnie, and Bonnie was alive, and we knew this because she sent her teddy bear over.

The only thing that we needed was the Ascendant, a key to the prison world.

Elena called Alaric. "You can't miss Friendsgiving. I mean, Matt and Jeremy are already cleaning up the whole Tripp mess, and Caroline's mom has to work. We're already low on friends as it is." 

"Well, if it's any consolation, our Thanksgiving was roadside chili."

Stefan, Damon and I were talking.

"Hey," Stefan told us. "Were you guys invited to Friendsgiving?" 

"Of course," I answered. "Caroline demanded I bring string beans."

"Huh," Stefan said.

"Why?" Damon asked. "Were you not invited?"

"Nope," Stefan answered.

"Ooh, boy," I told him. "You messed with the wrong girl's feelings."

I chuckled.

We went back to listening to Alaric and Elena's phone conversation.

"What do you mean, Bonnie's in the prison world? Damon said that she wasn't there, that she found peace with... why didn't he tell me this?" 

"Why wouldn't I consult you in a decision that might permanently change your life?" Damon asked sarcastically. "Hmm. I wonder." 

"He didn't want to get your hopes up," Alaric told her. "He honestly thought Bonnie died trying to free him. If she sent her teddy bear over, it could mean she's still..."

"Bonnie's still alive? Oh, my God!" 

"Yeah. So we're in Portland right now, trying to track down some Gemini thing."

"Ascendant," I corrected. 

"This is amazing." 

"Alaric, you might want to keep the news to yourself," Stefan told him. "I tracked this lead months ago. It was a dead end." 

"Yeah, because whenever Elena gets her hopes up, something always goes wrong," I told them.

"Stefan and Kaylin send their love," Alaric told her. 

"Wait. What?" 

Alaric hung up. 

******

We walked toward where the Gemini Coven was supposed to be. 

"Is that why the reason Caroline assigned me the turkey and the cranberries?" Alaric asked. "Stefan wasn't invited?" 

"See what you did?" I asked. "Now we're pulling your weight. I really hope you figure this out before Christmas." 

"Yeah," Stefan said. "Well, I'm glad you're all finding amusement in this."

"Why don't you just date her, put us all out of our misery?" Damon asked.

"Because I don't think about her that way," Stefan answered. "She's my friend."

"Who could make a great girlfriend," Damon told him. "Look. One, she's hot. Objectively."

"Two, she puts up with you," Alaric added.

"Big plus," I told them. "Three, very, very well organized."

Stefan looked at me skeptically. "Organizational skills?" 

"There are no drawbacks to this woman, Stefan," Damon told him.

Alaric looked at Damon. "Eh, she did sleep with you."

"See?" Damon asked. "Another plus." 

"Oh," Stefan said. "Look. We're here. Behold the Gemini Coven. Exactly how it looked four months ago."

We looked over what appeared to be a completely empty field.

******

"Like I said, uh, 3,000 miles ago, it's not here," Stefan told us. "Can we, uh, go home now, please?" 

"You know what?" Alaric asked. "Check the GPS again. Just because we don't see anything doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

"Not unlike Caroline's feelings for Stefan," Damon told us.

"Hilarious," Stefan told us sarcastically. "Keep them coming." 

I held the teddy bear named Ms. Cuddles next to my face, using a high-pitched voice, moving her arms around. "Oh, no! Is Stefan feeling sensitive about ruining his friendship with Caroline? She really liked him, and he broke her heart."

"See, Stefan?" Damon asked. "Even the bear knew." 

I was still using Ms. Cuddles' voice. "I saw that from a mile away, and my brain's made of cotton."

"Give me this," Stefan told me, taking the teddy bear away from me, kicking it straight into the field. 

The bear hit some kind of invisible barrier.

Suddenly, a large house appeared in front of us.

I looked around the guys in curiousity, walking up onto the porch, picking up Ms. Cuddles, turning to face them, raising the bear in the air. "Ms. Cuddles, one." I lowered my arm to my side, looking over my shoulder to look at the house behind me. "Invisible creepy mansion, zero."

I looked at the bear, smiling. 

******

The guys came up on the porch with me. Alaric was holding Ms. Cuddles.

I rang the doorbell. "Anybody want to take a stab at how Bonnie's teddy bear undid whatever was cloaking this place?" 

"She said without laughing," Damon told me. 

"Jo told me she got rid of her magic by putting it away for safekeeping," Alaric told us. "Maybe Bonnie put her magic away in this."

"Why would Bonnie put her magic in Ms. Cuddles?" Stefan asked.

"To keep Kai from using her to get out," Damon answered.

I opened the door but was unable to enter because I hadn't been invited in.

"Can't say I miss that," Alaric told us.

"It's all yours, brother," I told him.

Alaric handed Ms. Cuddles to Damon, walking into the house. He looked around cautiously, walking upstairs.

******

Alaric had brought out a bunch of photos, sifting through them. "Jo lived here. There's a drawer inside full of stuff, newspaper articles about Jo's medical clamp, pictures of her as a kid, pictures of her as a teenager." 

Damon looked at a photo of Jo and Kai standing together in red Christmas sweaters. "Hold, please. Rewind. That's Kai from Planet 1994."

"Wait," Stefan told us. "Jo is his sister?" 

"Either that, or they both have a thing for Cosby sweaters," I told him.

A man appeared from several feet away. "I didn't know I had guests." He looked at Damon. "You've met Kai?" 

"Met him?" Damon repeated. "Watched him die, watched him come back to life. Why? You know him?"

"Yeah," the man answered. "He's my son. I'm Joshua Parker." 

"Damon Salvatore," Damon told him, holding out his hand.

Joshua shook it. "Invisique."

Joshua and Damon disappeared from sight and sound, along with the house.

Stefan, Alaric and I looked around in confusion. 

"What the hell just happened?" I asked.

"I don't know," Alaric told us. 

We continued to look around but saw nothing.

******

Alaric was on the phone with Jo. "I think I met your dad." 

"Well, that's improbable, considering he lives in Portland." 

"Believe it or not, I'm actually in Portland." 

"Ric, you need to tell me what's going on right now." 

Meanwhile, Stefan was on the phone with Elena. 

"Damon's gone?" Elena asked. "As in into thin air?" 

"Oop. Careful. You just sounded genuinely concerned for my brother."

"I don't have feelings for him anymore. That doesn't mean I want him to blink out of existence." 

"He didn't. It's some sort of cloaking spell. Alaric's on the phone with Jo trying to figure out how to break it."

"And to think we could have all been sitting around stuffed, playing board games." 

"So, just to be clear, Jo was invited to Friendsgiving, but I wasn't?"

"Friend code states that in matters such as yours and Caroline's, I must, with no exception, take the side of my best friend." 

"Huh."

"Can you two just kiss and make up? It's getting weird." 

"You're just mad because no one knew how to carve the turkey."

Elena laughed. She hesitated for a long moment. "How did you know that you could trust me?" 

"Trust you with what?" 

"When you were honest with me about what you were. How did you know that you could trust me with such a big secret?" 

"That's easy. I was in love with you. I wanted you to know everything. You owe me dinner." 

Stefan hung up.

I went back to listening to Jo and Alaric.

"Ric, listen to me. If my dad knows that you want to open Kai's world, he'll think you're going to free him. He's going to retaliate." 

******

"And I hate to break it to you, Ric, but you traveled 3,000 miles for nothing. The Ascendant's with me." 

"You got to be kidding me, right?" I asked.

We heard the phone fall.

We heard Elena's voice. "Jo? Are you okay?" 

"Something's wrong," Jo told her.

"Jo?" Alaric asked.

"Jo, what's wrong?" Elena asked. 

"I think my dad..." Jo trailed off.

"Jo, what the hell is going on?" Elena asked.

"My dad's trying to kill me," Jo answered, screaming in pain.

******

We heard a different guy's voice. "What the hell is she talking about? Her dad's trying to kill her?" 

"Jo, Jo, answer the phone," Alaric told her.

"Ric?" Elena asked.

"Elena, what the hell's going on?" Alaric asked.

"Something's happening to Jo," Elena told him. "You have to find her dad and stop him from whatever he's doing to her." 

"Well, that's gonna be a problem, because even if we could see the house, we haven't been invited in," Stefan told her.

"Invite them in," Elena told her. 

"You can come in!" Jo told us.

"But we can't even see the damn house," I told them.

"They need magic!" Jo told us, coughing. "Crap." 

"Elena, we have to do something," the guy told her. "Definite signs of hemoptysis."

"Shut up, Liam," Jo told him. "Ask them if they see an old tree stump in the front yard." 

I looked around, seeing the cut down tree stump. "Yeah, I see it." 

"Go there now!" 

******

Stefan, Alaric and I shifted through the pile of leaves over the the tree stump, finding a knife.

Stefan picked up the knife. 

"What the hell are we gonna do with a knife?" I asked.

"Maybe it's Jo's version of Ms. Cuddles," Alaric told us.

I took the knife from Stefan, turning around, throwing it toward where the house should have been with vampire speed and strength. 

The house appeared, the knife stuck into one of the porch posts.

Stefan looked at me. "Nice shot."

I rushed up the yard, grabbing the knife, rushing inside. 

Damon was moaning in pain on the floor.

Joshua was at the fireplace, taking a wooden candlestick off the mantel, breaking it in half to make a make-shift stake, raising his hand above his head, about to stake Damon.

I rushed toward him, pushing him against the wall, the knife held against his throat. 

Joshua used magic to make me feel like my head was exploding.

I was forced to let him go, holding my head in pain, falling to my knees, groaning in pain.

"Invisique," Joshua said.

I looked up to see that Joshua had disappeared. 

Damon and I stood, recovered.

"Well, I guess the, uh, disappearing act's their shtick," I told him.

"Yeah," Damon agreed. "Hey. Anybody hear from Jo?" 

Elena saved her life with vampire blood. 

******

Damon, Alaric, Stefan and I walked back to the car.

"All right," Damon told us. "So let's just get this straight. We went to the airport, we took off all our clothes for security just so I can come out here, have my brain scrambled by Papa Kai, who by the way, can disappear into thin air... Poof... only to find Jo's rusty knife full of magic."

"And we learned that the Ascendant, i.e., the only reason we flew our asses out here in the first place, is actually with Jo at Whitmore, five minutes from where we started," I added. "Great." 

"Jo said she kept it with her to ensure that Kai would never be released," Stefan told us.

"Genius," I said. "Great. Then we go home. Shotgun. Come on."

"Guys, hey," Alaric told us. "We can't do this, okay? We need to find another way and one that doesn't end up with my girlfriend dead." 

"Girlfriend?" Damon repeated. "You've been on, like, three dates."

"Nice, Damon," Stefan told him sarcastically.

"What?" Damon asked. "I'm just saying he barely knows her, and her literal evil twin is over there with Bonnie right now."

"Guys, I will do what I can to help, but we're not letting her brother out, all right?" Alaric asked. "The Ascendant is off the table."

Damon walked toward him. "Okay." He compelled him. "Get the Ascendant from Jo. Do whatever you got to do to get it, you understand?" 

"I understand," Alaric answered.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked.

"What?" Damon asked. "You got a better idea?" 

Stefan and I didn't answer, getting into the car so we could go home after the epic fail of a mission like today.