January 4th, 2017 - Time.

Luke's fake girlfriend was drop dead gorgeous, not that I cared or anything.

Every so often, while grocery shopping late at night in the littered convenience store down the street, I'd pass by a picture of them on the front cover of a tabloid at the register. I'd say nothing, as though the cashier might know all of my secrets if I so much as batted an eye in the general direction of the magazine rack. Instead, I'd preoccupy my jittery hands with the flimsy plastic bags and plethora of unnecessary food that I knew I wouldn't eat, nodding subtly at the employees and insisting I didn't need help taking all the items to my car. Then my two heavy feet would drag along the rough cement outside, a suffocating feeling would consume my entire being and I'd find myself sitting in the passenger seat of my own car, crying to the simple sound of my heart beating.

I had to delete Twitter.

The minute my plane touched down in Canada on that fateful day in August, I erased the damned app from my phone and never turned back. Upon meeting my roommate, I told her never to let me use it, particularly if I was drunk, crying, or a pathetic mix of the two. Of course, she immediately labeled me as mentally unstable and started locking away her valuables in her drawers with large padlocks, which was fine. She also had a habit of spending nights, sometimes three or four in a row, at her boyfriend's apartment. This I also didn't mind. It allowed me to pour over the sporadic texts I'd received from him. 

Their intent was clear, but it was clearer that they were only further breaking my already tattered heart. I couldn't be hopelessly in love with a boy who had a girlfriend, real or fake, and I wouldn't be the girl who gets dragged back in to his shenanigans every time he leaves a shaky voicemail while I'm in class. Still, I couldn't bear to block his number, because a small part of me still gets butterflies when he texts and lays awake at night dreaming of everything working out for the best.

Perhaps, however, it had worked out for the best. Perhaps parting ways was the best scenario for the both of us, seeing as we lead drastically different lives. Perhaps a healthy dose of heartbreak was necessary for all of us; perhaps it was my reality call.

That's what I'd convinced myself, at least, until a note showed up in my rickety mailbox.

Resembling a mix of a ransom note and a love letter, the bleak Post-it note had been encased in a mismatched envelope and discovered by my bewildered father, who I was staying with for the holidays.

"Teni, I can't tell if you have a secret admirer or a stalker on your hands," he said as he gently dropped it on my lap while I read in the living room. It fluttered for a moment, like a butterfly struggling to stay afloat, before resting between my thighs.

I set down my book as my dad slowly sauntered out of the room. The neon note was visible through the sheer white paper that enclosed it. My fingers slid against it, feeling the crisp edges and taking in a sharp breath. My nail dipped beneath the flap, which hadn't been completely sealed, lifting it gently and retrieving the small message inside.

It was a set of coordinates written sloppily in dull pencil, and January 6th 4:00 pm scrawled along the bottom. I flipped it over and double checked that the envelope was empty before returning my attention to the tiny Post-it in my hands. 

"What is it?" my bewildered father asked, returning from the kitchen with a beer in his hands.

I shrugged, examining it. "I think it's a set-up for kidnapping."

"I've experienced a few of those."

We exchanged looks before laughing, dropping the topic entirely for the night. However, as evening crept upon us, my mind couldn't help but wander back to the note. It had to be from Luke, seeing as he couldn't reach me over the phone anymore. The idea of him chasing me like this made my heart skip a beat, but it also made it drop into my ass. I'd spent the past few months ignoring the fat that he'd ever been a part of my life. Did I really want to let him walk right back into it?

* * *

January 6th, 2017 - 4:00 pm.

The coordinates led to a rinky-dink light house on the shore of a small, secluded beach. I felt as gray as the overcast sky as I trekked through the sand, ignoring the wind biting at my cheeks. My father had taken the dog for a run in the opposite direction after I reassured him for the dozenth time that I wasn't, in fact, about to be kidnapped. I walked alone, headed towards the large building in front of me.

A figure stood with their back to me, both hands securely tucked away in the pockets of their black coat. They didn't move as I approached them, keeping their gaze fixed on the crashing waves before them.

"I didn't think you'd show up, if we're being honest here," a familiar voice said.

I stopped a few feet away, folding my arms across my chest and huffing in confusion. Luke spun around slowly, his eyes falling onto my shivering body. He smiled slightly, though it faded as quick as it came. We stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Why are you here?" I asked, shocked at how aggressive I sounded.

Luke merely gestured to two beach chairs a couple yards below us. I wordlessly followed his lead, plopping into the white, wooden chair before redirecting my attention back to him. He sighed. "I needed to see you."

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth but he cut me off before I could argue with him.

"I fucked up," he confessed, nervously readjusting the beanie on his head. "I royally fucked up and I haven't been able to move past it. Jenna hates me so much that she insisted our contract end early, so we are officially separated with the start of the new year. Before we parted ways, though, she said my internal issues are too much for anyone to bear and I needed to work on them. So I thought about it and now I'm here."

A wave slammed onto the unsuspecting shore just as his words did the same to my heart. My muscles refused to move an inch, so I lay helplessly as everything sunk in.

"But Luke, what are you doing here?"

"You. You're my issue. I can't sleep knowing that I hurt you; I literally will lie awake for hours staring at the ceiling and counting the seconds that have passed since I last saw you. But the image of your broken face is seared into my memory and I can't get rid of it, it just keeps hurting me. And, the boys, oh my god, they keep telling me how I need to pull myself together. They keep saying that I don't need you. But I do. I need you, Teni. You were my best friend. No one understood me like you. And then I led you on and hid secrets from you and now everything is ruined and you have this life in Canada in this city--which is so nice by the way, really hospitable--and I just can't go back to Australia without fixing us." He stopped to take a long breath, rubbing his fists into his eyes. "Pizza parlor, beach, coffee shop, nightclub, lighthouse."

I sat up and looked at him. "What?"

"Pizza parlor, beach, coffee shop, nightclub, lighthouse. All the places I took you, all the dates we went on. Just like when we were little."

My shoes buried themselves into the crunchy sand as I stared into the empty eyes of the boy beside me. He gently blew a strand of hair off his forehead, turning to face me with the most hollow expression I'd ever seen. 

The words were stuck in my throat. I coughed, practically choking on the tension between us. "You based all of our dates off of Club Penguin?"

He swallowed. "Well the lighthouse date was supposed to be a real date back in Australia. I was gonna bring a picnic and tell you everything, but then I was gonna tell you none of it mattered because I was hopelessly in love with you, just like when we were kids. I never got to that part, obviously, because I fucked it all up."

A moment passed along with a cloud or two before I dared open my mouth. Luke was sniffling on my left, partially from the cold weather, partially from the tears welling in his eyes. I couldn't bear to see him cry so I stared at the vast ocean, navy and grand. It roared at the lighthouse, pulling closer with every minute.

"I don't hate you, Luke." 

"What?"

I cleared my throat. "I don't hate you, dumbass. I've just been trying to move on and I don't want this to set me back." My voice was soft, hesitant almost. Luke's eyes lit up when I looked into them, beaming with an intensity I couldn't have imagined possible.

He swung his legs over the chair, our knees brushing against each other as we sat up face-to-face. His fingers laced into mine, warming my smaller hands. "The contract ended, Teni. You don't have to move on. I'll move here for a few weeks, we can start new. As friends, at least, and we'll see where it goes. I don't want to ruin your life or anything and if you've found a new guy, I completely understand. But I'm here now, free, and I need to know that we're okay."

I crossed my legs, leaning back to catch my breath. A sigh escaped my chapped lips, floating off into the cool breeze that rushed between our bodies. He remained still. I felt oddly hot, sweating under the immense weight of the memories we shared. I knew I couldn't leave him now, not when he hadn't meant any harm in the first place. I couldn't abandon my best friend. "Do you need a place to stay tonight?"

Luke smiled. "Yes, I do."

* * *

haha ha it's been like uh four weeks? three weeks? too many weeks? happy new year i am the same piece of dirt i've always been.

guys do u understand how hard it was for me not to end their relationship? im such a sad endings kind of gal and this was physically painful and i feel like it wasn't my best work but i didn't want to be an ass so ur welcome merry holidays they stayed together

there's gonna be like one more chapter (this one was long af can i get a high five) and maybe an epilogue and an authors note and thats all folks

so thanks to those of you still here, see u in a bit!!!!! have a good new year:)))