I knocked on Ito's apartment door. I had sent her a message before getting in the car at the headquarters house to tell her the meeting was over, but the drive back into the city was about thirty minutes, and I had made a stop at my apartment to change into jeans and a t-shirt. I hadn't told her any of that.

The door opened just enough to reveal a sliver of Ito. She peered through the crack with one eye. "Hi." I said, leaning against the door frame with one forearm. I had a feeling I would be standing there for a while.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

I took a deep breath, not because I was exasperated or frustrated, but to steady myself, I thought. "Because I'm a man and I have certain impulses." I knew she wouldn't accept the answer, but she wasn't being straight with me either, and it wasn't solely my responsibility. "Why are you asking now? You had plenty of time to ask while we finished breakfast, and while we walked back here." She didn't answer me, and I knew she wouldn't. We would be standing there all day if I didn't continue to push her. "Did you like it?"

She didn't hesitate. "I kissed you back, didn't I?"

"Maybe you were just being polite." I didn't hesitate either. I was good at quick wit because it made people tell me the truth, and if people just told me the truth, it made my job a lot easier and less bloody.

She opened the door and stepped back to make room for me, as an invitation. "Come in. I'm just going to get my coat."

"It's about a hundred degrees outside, I don't think you need a coat." I crossed the threshold of the door, feeling as if I should have been looking for a wire trap at the same time. Ito was wearing a simple little summer dress that hugged her form, scooped low at the neckline, and was sleeveless. It was modest enough that she didn't need to cover up any more, but I wasn't about to give her an opinion on the matter. I found myself watching the way her form moved as she braced herself against the wall with one hand and leaned over to slip on her low-line white tennis shoes.

She stood upright and I took the cue to start moving toward the door again, but she planted herself. She had more to say. "Why did you agree to take me grocery shopping? I think you're a more important man than that." Every question she asked, she sounded angry about. She sounded angry about feeling the way she did, and she sounded angry that she even had to ask the questions in the first place.

"You're a friend and I'm helping you, because you were in a scary situation and you're feeling vulnerable right now." I had an answer for everything she was about to ask of me, whether my replies were based in truth or full of it.

"That's all?"

"For now."

I reminded myself of Oda-sama, and it scared me. If I wanted out, I would have to get out before he got any older, and time was ticking. It was a thought that I still didn't dare allow myself to fully acknowledge. The Yakuza, specifically the Oda-kai, was all I knew. Though I felt like getting tired of it as I grew older was part of the process, I also felt myself becoming more and more of a normal man, and that was part of the process as well. I stopped myself from daydreaming too much on it. I was good at that too. A trait that I had become extremely thankful for more recently, since Ito had come into my life, especially as I found myself following her through the grocery store pushing the shopping cart for her.

"Obata-san, let me make something for dinner as a thanks for helping me."

She was a half isle ahead of me, looking toward me. I pointed at her in jest. "Don't call me that." I said. "I'm taking you out to dinner." I saw her try to hide a smile as she looked away from me back to the food on the shelf.

I realized that being around Ito made life feel mundane, just for a second. Mundane in the way that made it feel normal, which was not a luxury I was afforded. Normal to me was the sound of gunshots, the stench of blood, the anxiety, the sensation of being ready to fight. I was always on edge, always looking for the next person who decided they didn't like me. Ito gave me a glimpse of what it was like to have a life that was centered on family and comfort. I wondered if I could ever end up in a situation where having both lives would be possible.

"So why are you taking me out to dinner, Obata-san?"

We had made our way to Mami-san's restaurant, a place I knew it was safe to let my guard down enough that I didn't feel the need to look over my shoulders every ten seconds. I traded the impending fear of being judged for being seen with a proper lady for the sense of relaxation. The restaurant wasn't crowded, but there were enough people lingering to blend in to.

"As an apology, I suppose." I answered Ito's question as sincerely as I could, though the only reason was in fact because I wanted an excuse to prolong our time together. "Why are you accepting my offer? And don't call me that."

"I suppose it's a fair question." She leaned both elbows on the table elegantly.

"Obata-san, I'm sorry it took me so long." Mami-san rushed into my field of view at the side of the table. She placed her hand on my shoulder in a motherly gesture. "What would you like to order?"

"I'll have my usual, Mami-san, thank you. No need to rush. I'm not here on business today."

"And who is this young lady, Obata-san?" Mami-san leaned in a little closer to me as if we were sharing a secret, but she trained her gaze on Ito across the table.

"My friend from the martial arts club, Ito-san."

Mami-san looked at me in a harsh manner, accusatory, and knowing. "Your friend?"

I nodded, only pretending to know what she was accusing me of. "Yes, my friend. You might be seeing her more often, she lives nearby." I placed my hand atop Mami-san's, still on my shoulder, and tightening her grip with every pass of the conversation. "She knows everything." It was a cue that it was safe to talk.

"I'll have his usual as well, thank you." Ito interjected. "He must know what the best dish in the house is." I watched Mami-san's expression change to a warm smile as her mind, I imagined, was running wild with scenarios. She simply nodded and left the table with a firm squeeze to my shoulder. "She gets to call you Obata-san."

"She is a client. You are a friend. This place is under my protection, and Mami-san is really like a mother to me. I help her as much as I can, and she takes good care of me while I'm around." I tried to explain the dynamic in a way that came across as normal as possible. She looked as if she had nothing to say about it. "Okay. You know all about me, so if I'm going to keep calling you my friend and introducing you to people, I should probably know a little more about you."

"Are you going to keep calling me your friend?" The expression on her face told me she wasn't exactly asking me a question. "Well, I turned twenty in April. I go to Tokyo University for general arts and business. I think I'm pretty smart, and I earn higher than average grades. I live in Kabuki-cho because it's cheaper than living in Ueno. I'm from Chiba, and my parents still live there, but we're not exactly speaking. I'm an only child." She nodded firmly to signal that she was finished with her introduction.

I decided to test how much she would tell me. It was a habit to extract information, and I recognized that work was interfering with getting personal, but I did nothing to stop it. It was a good sign, I thought, that maybe I wasn't getting too close. "What about things you like? Interests? Hobbies?"

"What do I like? I like plants, and stuffed animals. I wanted to learn martial arts as a hobby because I enjoy exercise, but I also know that Kabuki-cho isn't the safest place, so I wanted to learn how to protect myself." She paused a beat to look at me, and it seemed like she was deciding just how much to tell me. Deciding just how sincere I was about wanting to know. "I thought that if I was going to leave home and come out here, I needed to do it on my own."

I couldn't help but laugh a little. "Sorry. I guess everyone needs a little help sometimes in these kinds of situations." I said. "I'll let you get to back to doing it on your own."

"Thank you for all your help, Obata-san." She interrupted my train of thought. "I'm very glad to have met you. I was a little unprepared for everything life out here had to throw at me, and I don't think I could have navigated it without you. It was a relief to feel like I didn't have to be strong all by myself for a couple of days."

I was surprised by her comment, but it softened me. It softened me in a way that was out of my control, and I had never felt such a desire to protect someone before. I lived my life in a way that was focused entirely on my needs, my wants. But giving her what she needed and wanted satisfied me as well. We were both bringing each other into very different worlds.

"Don't mention it." Was all I said.

I walked her back to her apartment a little after six in the evening, the daylight much less harsh, but the dark of night not quite settling in. When we reached the door to her building, she faced me and bowed deeply.

"Thank you again, Obata-san, for your kindness and for your help."

She was laughing in the bow, and it made me laugh too. "Get up. Don't bow to me."

"Do you want to come in for tea?" Her gaze as she peered at me, tucking her hair behind one ear, was asking much more than that.

"No." I said, trying to sound definitive so there was no room to ask more questions.

"Just no?"

I reached a hand out, stepping in to cradle the back of her neck. I breathed her in as I kissed her, then let her go. "Don't make this awkward." I said. "I'm too old for you, and you don't belong in my world. Good night."

I didn't look back as I walked away. It was hard to keep my eyes in front of me, even as I turned the first corner, not knowing if she went inside or if she stood where she was until she couldn't see me anymore. I had a lot of rounds to make the next day, a lot of work to do related to the cleanup of the clubs, and a lot of new impressions to make. I needed to sleep, badly.

I had somehow dodged being in my apartment for a while, and I thought briefly about taking off to my house outside the city. Instead, I boiled water for tea, and washed my face. I folded the suit I would wear the next day, and picked up the discarded clothing that was still on the floor from the night of the raid. I took out the garbage, and checked the fridge to make sure nothing had expired, although I never kept much in it anyway. The apartment was quiet

At a little past midnight, I couldn't stop myself. I picked up the phone. Ito answered after a few rings, stating that she had just gone to bed. "Would you unlock the doors for me, and then go back to bed?" I asked her.