"Mommy!" a girl cried. "Why are you leaving me?

A hazy figure squatted down beside the girl and held her hand sadly. "Honey, it's not like that- you'll be safer here, away from harm and the Death Ea-...other who might hurt you. It's safer this way." 

"No!" the girl shouted, tugging away from her mother. "You're leaving me!" 

"No, honey, I love you- so, so much-" her mother was clearly fighting off tears. "I hate it but it's for the best-"

But the girl looked on coldly. "You're dead to me," she spat, then ran into the woods, leaving the broken figure of her mother behind. Peeking out from a tree branch, the girl looked to see where her mother was- was it safe to scamper into the house?- when, suddenly, there was a loud CRACK- then a burst of green light- 

-The girl rushes over, but as she runs her form turns hazier and hazier- 

I wake up. 

It's not real.

It's not real. 

I'm awake- I'm alive- it's not real.

A dream. Just a dream. 

I force my sleepy eyes open. Clover, it's not real- just a dream.  

I take a deep breath in. Everything will be okay. I shudder. That last time I told myself, that, things weren't okay- but then again, this nightmare hasn't haunted me like this for years. 

I thought it was gone. 

But I guess I was wrong. I glance out the window to distract myself. The day dawned bright and early, as days normally do, and the sun had just decided to poke its lazy head over Hogwarts. I've always liked the view from our window. I glance down. Scarlet sleeps under the window- she's on her back, hands folded over her chest, which in my opinion is the weirdest way to sleep. It's creepy, like a zombie king waiting to arise from the dead and kill people. (Ha! As if Scarlet could even think of violence.)  Across from her, Alura is sleeping at the wrong end of her bed. And across from her is Artemis. I look up just in time to see her drop a  glass on the floor.

Crash! 

I frowned. That didn't sound good. Reluctantly I stood up (what a pain that was) to see what was going on. 

"Hi," I whispered. As so as I said it, I felt self-conscious. What was I doing here? This wasn't any of my business. She was fully capable of being hurt without me screwing things up more.  

"Hi," she whispered back. "I appear to have broken a glass." 

"It would appear that way." 

"....Oops..." Wincing, she sets a foot on the floor- 

"Don't!" I whisper-yelped. "You'll get hurt!"

WAIT DID I JUST SAY THAT. Every instinct I have is telling me to go back to bed, fake a heart attack, and/or turn into a cat. Only one of those I think I can do without breaking social norms, I'll let you figure out which.  

She looks at me, surprised. "What? I have to clean up this mess!" 

"That's not the way to do it," I said impatiently. I stand up, and wake over to the glass, trying not to step on it but- "Oh!" I gasped as a shard drives into my foot. 

Artemis is beside herself. "Oh, no, Clover, I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry, it was so stupid of me to get water, I'm really, really, sorry- here let me get that!" 

"No," I said, wincing. I stretch out my hand, and my wand flies to it from my bedside table. "Scourgify!" The glass disappears.

Unfortunately, the glass in my foot does not.  

"Oh, I am so, so, so, sorry, Clover," Artemis looked like she's about to cry. "Sit here, I'll get it out." No way to bond like picking glass out of someone's foot, eh? 

I nodded and plopped on her bed. She has a green blanket on top of her bed that brings out her eyes so much I can't believe I didn't try to talk to her. Probably hates me for that, and is putting on a fake front. Oh, now I remember why I wouldn't talk to her.   

There's a hint a red, then something...furry? I squint. "Wait, is that a...." 

Artemis blushes so furiously it looks like she dunked her face in red paint. She shoves whatever it is under her pillow. "Uh, foot please..." 

Yeah, not letting her go that easily.  Besides,  it won't hurt if she's so embarrassed she doesn't think to ask why I'm up so early.  

I push my hand under her pillow, and it comes out with....

A  furry, glittery purple wolf stuffed animal. Whaat. 

I smirk. "So this is what you're been hiding." 

Artemis blushed more, if that's even possible. "I-I, umm, can't sleep without it..." she said in a small voice, ducking her head. "Go on, laugh. Tell people and mock me." I wonder if this is who she is without Alura to murder people with her eyes.

I snorted.  "Okay, one, I'm not telling anybody because that's plain mean, two, if I was going to I won't tell people I wouldn't do it now, then I'll have no time for teasing you." I stretched across her bed. If she didn't hate me before, I'm sure she does now. 

Artemis relaxed a bit. "Well," she said briskly, trying to change the subject, "you still have glass in your foot, so if you would let me pull it out now..." 

I grin. "Aww, she's all worried! Isn't it adorable?" and it kinda is. Like, not alot. But, like, kinda. A bit. I'm gonna stop talking now. 

Artemis frowned. I take that back, there's killing capacity in her eyes, too. "You don't get to call me adorable until you've apologized to my friends." 

"What an excellent point." Something is caving inside me. I need to run, hide, die. No one taught me all these social things. What do I do now? Wake them up and apologize? Continue the conversation? I mean, why do I have to apologize anyway? It's not like we're friends. It's not like we're ever going to hang out again. I just needed a place to sit. And if we don't come into contact with each other (which we won't) then there's no need to set things right. 

After some thought, I decided the only way I'm getting out of this one is if I have a real heart attack. 

"Then I will," I say. I won't. But if she thinks I will, then I can be on my lonely way, and they won't want to talk to me, so I won't have to talk to them. Everything will be the way it was. 

"Good," Artemis actually believed me! Well, I do have natural charisma. "Now hobble back to your bed, I'm going to sleep again." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 "Before we start today's lesson," a snide voice drawled, " I think it fitting to remind you next June you will be taking a very important examination. I fully expect all of you to scrape at least an 'Acceptable', or suffer my....displeasure." Professor Snape's cold black eyes settled over the class. "For today's lesson," he said, walking to the blackboard and waving his wand; instructions appeared, "you will be making the Draught of Living Death in pairs with your shoulder partner. The instructions are on the board. Go." 

I look to Scarlet, who's sitting next to me. "Should I get the ingredients?" I offered, kinda proud of my voice of not shaking after yesterday's....fiasco. Hey, I'm smart, not brave. No, actually, that's yet to be seen, too. 

But Scarlet nodded. "Sure!" 

"'Kay," I go to the store cabinet for the rarer ingredients.  Powdered root of asphodel....infusion of wormwood....Got it. Heading back to the table, I see Scarlet's already on the fifth step, the potion a 'murky, muddy dark-green' as described by the textbook. 

"Nice job, Scarlet," I told her, impressed. 'You're really good at Potions."

"Thanks," there's only a little ice in her voice.  

I clear my throat. "I would also like to, uh, apologize for my...rude...behavior yesterday." 

Scarlet shrugs. "Yesterday is yesterday." She looks up. "Today is now." 

"Oh- uh- thanks?" I sit down beside her and dig through my bag for my potions kit. 

My incomplete potions kit. There is no longer a silver knife in the bag. I suppose it's expected we forgot something, considering how little time I had to prepare, but still. "Uh- Scarlet, you don't happen to have a sliver knife, do you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I.." It's okay, I try to reassure myself. People forget things. It's human. You are human. "I forgot mine," I force out. Voices in my head are screaming You don't deserve the knife, why should she give it to you, why did you ask, why are you here? 

"First of all, yes, and second, call me Scar." 

Some incredibly sad part of me is squeaking I have a friend! 

"Shut up," I mutter under my breath. "I've always had friends." It was a stupid nickname, anyway. 

"Sorry, didn't catch that," Scarlet said happily, stirring the potion clockwise three times, then counterclockwise seven times. 

I jump. "O-Oh! Sorry, just, uh, talking to myself." desperate of a topic change I added, "do you want me to cut the beans?"

"Sure," Scar beams, "I'll stir." 

"'Course," I squint to see the next set of instructions- the room is now hazy with fumes. 

Luckily for me, I had knowledge in potions to make up for my lack of social skills. Crushing the beans, instead of slicing them, releases more juice.  Scarlet will like me enough that I can get out of *shudder* group work!  I dropped the juice in the bubbling potion. Instantly it stopped frothing and turned a deep purple. 

Scarlet waved her hand in front of her nose. "Ick!" 

I looked at her mischievously.  "I know it smells like rotten eggs in a stinky locker, and we have like, five steps left, but..." instead of stirring for another fifteen minutes, I just add salamander blood, despite the instructions to stir...

"What are you doing?" Scarlet gasped. 

"Look," I say proudly. The potion is now a clear color, its texture looking similar to that of water. "Done."

Professor Snape peered at the cauldron. "Cheaters will not be tolerated in my class." Scarlet gulped. He looked up. "Neither will failing, class dismissed." 

"You were amazing!" Scarlet whispered, gathering up her stuff. "Where'd you learn that?"

"Thanks! You did okay!" I said, walking out the door with her. I stopped. "I mean, good job."  Yes, 'okay' is really the highest compliment I can pay. 

"Well done," Alura said, drifting over to us. "I love experiments with potions- that's why I always fail, see- but maybe we could work together sometime." 

"That'd be great!" I yelped. Clover, control yourself! I clear my throat. "I mean, uh, yeah, sure, I wouldn't mind. I guess.' 

"Cool," Alura beamed. 

"Uh, thanks," I look at the ground. I still don't know what to do.  "What class do you  guys have next?"

"Care of Magical Creatures, all of us," Artemis said. "We always check what classes we have together in the morning. You?"

Suddenly I feel ashamed and I don't know why,  but I do know one thing- I'm not part of their group. I never was. And I should know that. I clear my throat. "Uh, same." I thought they'd be kinda mad that I was hanging out with them so much, but Artemis beamed. I am suddenly reminded of our glass-foot situation this morning.  "Uh, guys, I, uh, want to say sorry, for being mean yesterday." I stare at the floor. This is really my cue to leave. Which might be why I have no friends.

"Okay. Are you going to?"Alura prompted. 

"Oh- yeah- um, sorry." 

"It's okay," Scarlet said. "That was yesterday-"

"Today is now," all three of them finished. I stare. 

"Scarlet says it at least once a day."

"That's not true!" 

The three friends laughed and giggled all the way to Hagrid's hut. 

We reached Hagrid's stone hut, the starting point of our Magical Creatures lessons.  Twice the width of a normal man, and three times as tall, Professor Hagrid had a tangled beard and beetle back eyes. He's terrifying at first, but I like to think of him as an elephant- overgrown, yes, but gentle and lovable. 

"Hello, Ravenclaws," he grunted. 

"Hello, Professor," Alura said, wrinkling her forehead. "What the hell is that?" 

"Ah," said Hagrid, gesturing to the object in question- a wooden crate shaking ominously. "That's-ah- a little project. Gather 'round!" 

The class pushed eagerly against each other, each wanting to be near this mysterious thing without being the one near it. People are stupid. I shove my way to the front. 

"These," Hagrid said proudly, "are Blast-Ended Skrewts!" he ripped off the lids to reveal the ugliest things I have ever seen. 

"Eurkk!!" Scarlet shrieked, jumping back. 'Eurkk' pretty much described them, in my not-so-humble option. They were about six or seven inches long, a slimy, grey color that looked like boogers, with a flimsy, weak-looking black shell. They didn't appear to have any front or back end, although several seemed to have stingers at the end. 

"Thought we'd make a little project out of it," Hagrid said happily, oblivious to his class's reactions. "Giving the forth years the same thing, but I think yer much more mature, ready to 'andle 'em, see." 

The class stared. 

Cho Chang finally broke the silence. "You want us to...raise them?"

"Yep," Hagrid beamed. "Not sure wha' they eat yet, so we'll just try these," he said, indicated with his hand a pile of assortments that included frog liver and maggots. "Get into team of four, please- two crates per group." 

"One two three four," Artemis beamed, gesturing to herself, Scarlet, Alura, and..me? "Perfect. Clover, you can work with me- let's see how the potion genius does with Blast Ended Skrewts."

"I'm not a genius," I say, wrinkling my nose at the pile of frog insides Hagrid plopped into my hands. It was wet and slimy- and oh the smell! I gagged. 

Artemis winked. "Yes, you are. Here let me take that....is that liver or intestines?" 

"I dunno," I said, peering at the mess. "Fu-frick! My hair!" I whined, as my hair started drifting towards the liver/intestines. 

But then a gentle hand pulled it back. 

"You really should wear braid more often," Artemis said, fingers weaving my hair out of my face. "It looks good on you." 

"Thanks. Forgive for not elaborating, but could you hurry up and take the liver already?" But I'm grateful. I'd much rather hold the liver than get my hair in it. 

"Why don't you feed it to....that thing already?" Artemis suggested. 

I wince. "..okay!" I drop the slimy frog liver into the crate, poking it towards the fleshy blobs. A Blast-Ended Skrewt inched towards it, then-

-"OWW!" I shrieked as heat spread through my hand. "It burnt me," I moaned to Hagrid. 

"Yeah- some of 'em can burn, and I reckon the others have a sucker- fer blood, yeh know," Hagrid sounded way too enthusiastic for my liking. 

Apparently Artemis was thinking the same thing, for she mumbled, "Whuppee." 

"Don't stick your hand in," I grumbled to Scarlet and Alura, making a jet of water to run over my burn. "It hurts." 

"Noted," Scarlet sighed. "And do keep in mind- they do stuck blood," she held up her left hand, which had a deep nick in it. "Aww, my robes are getting all bloody! These are my favorite!" she whined.  (Are the robes not the same? I looked down at my robes, searching for a difference between it and every other Hogwarts robe. I see none, but I am reminded I'm wearing red high tops instead of the school shoes. I'm surprised I haven't gotten detention for it yet.)

"Er- why don't yeh lot go up to the Hospital Wing, and let Madam Pomfrey sort yeh out," Hagrid said hastily, for those not injured were looking on us curiously. 

Alura smiled mischievously. "Piggy back race- hurt on top. First one there gets to choose the next kitchen order!"

I would be wondering what she meant by 'kitchen order', but I'm busy hoping on Alura's back, burnt hand forgotten, squealing 'Faster, faster!', protesting the 'no levitation allowed' rule, dripping blood over my robes but somehow laughing- glad, and feeling like, for the first time, I have a group. 

Somewhere I belong. 

Note: this picture above does not belong to me.