cw: reference to murder, implied domestic abuse

i'll construct a murder plan
maybe in another dimension
just so i can kill my father
before he kills me

in this life, i'll feel guilty
in this life, i'll be terrified
in this life, i'll be frozen
coping and surviving
coping and surviving
coping and surviving
until i'm too broken to live

in another hour i tell myself i'm a survivor
and i can get through this as i always have
but i can't stop feeling so fucking scared
and thinking that a confrontation of weakness won't save me again, so what will save me?
doing what i know best. of course it's unimportant whether i can still do it.

i really like this other dimension
i could work on that murder plan there

in another hour i tell myself i'm a fighter
in this hour i tremble and fear for my life