Clouded Distance
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Clear as Day

A week passed, and no one heard anything from Haru. Hana couldn't stop the worry gnawing within her, and she kept thinking back to their last encounter. The more she did, the more reason she had to cringe.

She felt guilt. Looking back on their conversations, she realised just how forceful she'd been when talking to Haru. She was kicking herself for it now. She should have instead been encouraging and supportive, and gently guided him in the right direction instead of breaking down in the middle of that street and screaming. If she'd handled it better... Would Haru have needed to go to Australia? Would he be happier? Or would it have not made much difference at all?

But they didn't have too much time to worry. Nationals were just around the corner, and every spare moment the boys had was spent preparing for the event. Hana stayed at the writing club, both helping others and working on her piece for the short story collection they'd put forth at the end of the year. With nothing much else to do, she found she had ample time to work on her story. It was coming along much better than her last story had, as the inspiration had come to her instantly. 

Between school, working on her story and the writing club, Hana lost track of time and before she knew it, she had to pack her bags to head down to the Nationals venue. They'd arrive there two days before the tournament, so they had time to practice in the pool.

That day would also be the day Haru arrived back from Australia.

While Rei and Nagisa practiced their swimming, Makoto had gone to the airport to collect Haru. He had invited Hana to come, but she'd declined. She wanted to spend a bit more time collecting herself, and wasn't sure Haru wanted to see her, anyway. Just Makoto would be enough. 

She didn't stay in the pool. Instead, she remained outside in the area where Makoto said they'd all meet up. She sat back on the stairs and looked up at the sky, focusing on nothing in particular, just willing time to pass.

When Nagisa and Rei joined her outside, she knew that Makoto and Haru would be arriving soon. Sure enough, soon after they joined her, they heard Makoto call out to them. 

Hana sucked in a deep breath and looked up. She saw Makoto walked toward them, a slighter, darker-haired figure by his side.

Haru. 

Something inside her broke when she saw him. It was relief, overpowering relief that he was back here with them.

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa called, waving. He and Rei ran to meet Haru. Hana followed, slower than she would've thought, lost in a daze. 

Haru was there, greeting everyone with a small smile. "Nagisa, Rei." His eyes met hers, and for a moment time froze and all that mattered was that they were looking at each other. Hana caught a swirl of conflicting emotions in Haru's eyes - guilt? Gladness? Relief? She couldn't tell. "Hana." His voice so was soft, so gentle. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed it, missed him, until he was standing right in front of her. 

If the others had noticed the time where they'd been locked in each other's gazes, they didn't show it.

"Welcome back, Haru-chan!" Nagisa exclaimed brightly, a large smile on his face.

"I'm so glad you made it home safely!" Rei said, an equally large smile on his face.

"Jeez, Rei-chan was really worried about you, you know."

"N-Nagisa-kun!" Rei stammered, to laughter from the others.

Haru smiled, bowing his head apologetically. "I'm sorry that I made you worry."

Nagisa smiled and shook his head; Hana had known from the beginning that Nagisa would have been quick to move on from everything that had happened. "It's fine."

"More importantly, please rest up for our race in two days," Rei said. "After that, we only need to make our final adjustments to prepare for the tournament!"

Hana chuckled under her breath, her eyes never leaving Haru. There were a million things that she wanted to say, all at once, but couldn't bring the words past her lips. The words were personal, and she wanted only Haru to hear them. No, she didn't want just want Haru to be the only one to hear them; he had to be the only one. The words were for him, and him alone.

You'll get your chance, she told herself. Soon. You'll be able to tell him everything soon.

"Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, Hana," he said quietly. "There's something I'd like to tell you."

They exchanged confused looks, but nonetheless followed Haru into the gardens. The five of them came to a stop by the edge of the river, which was cast in the shadows of the many tall, green trees growing around them.

Haru crouched down by the edge of the water. He lowered one of his hands so it just touched the water. "Before now, I never cared about times and winning," he started, looking down at the water. "I only swan because I wanted to. If I worried about those things, my swimming would lose its meaning. That's what I thought." He looked up. "Rin has a dream of swimming on the world level. He's about to dive into the world of competitive swimming to fulfil that dream. So should I go into that world only because I want to swim? Go into that world of wins and losses? That's not right. I'm not like Rin. I don't have strong feeling toward swimming like he does. That's why I wasn't able to respond to the things you said to me." He sighed and started to straighten up. "I didn't believe that a dream was something you could find just by looking. But then, Rin took me with him and showed me all the different sights. I realised how big the world really is. And then, I found it." A smile on his face, he turned to them, and Hana felt a rush of emotion by seeing just how at peace he looked, how content, so different to how he'd looked those last few weeks. "I want to swim I'm that world. I want to keep on swimming. Do I'm going to start caring about times and winning. For the sake of my dream."

Hana could have cried, she was so relieved. H

"So this trip really did end up being a special one for you, Haru," Makoto said.

"I'm really glad for you, Haru-chan!" Nagisa exclaimed.

Rei nodded. "If that the dream you've found for yourself, Haruka-senpai, we will certainly cheer you on as hard as we can!"

"Thank you, guys," Haru said, sounding truly grateful.

Hana realised she was the only one who hadn't spoken. Instead she looked at Haru, trying to communicate everything through her eyes - her happiness for him, her support, her encouragement. He looked right back at her, and he smiled slightly, showing that he'd at least understood part of what she was trying to communicate.

Makoto seemed to have notice, for there was a knowing glint to his eyes. "Nagisa, Rei, we should go back," he said, already beginning to walk off.

"What do you mean, Mako-chan - oh." Nagisa nodded. "I mean, of course! Rei-chan, we should practice our exchange again!"

"Right!" Rei said. 

The three walked off, and vanished from sight. Soon it was just Hana and Haru, alone by the river. It felt really personal and secluded; the gentle gurgle of the river masked any other noise coming from nearby, and the trees shut everyone else out. It would be hard for anyone to stumble across them accidentally.

The tension in the air thickened. Hana could almost hear the words they both wanted to say but were holding back, both of them afraid

Hana swallowed and was the first to muster her courage, even letting a small smile cross her face as she whispered, "Hey, Haru."

"Hana," he responded quietly

The air thickened again; Hana twitched, just wanting to blurt everything out and be done with it. The sooner you say it, the better you'll feel. She breathed in, ready to say everything.

"I'm sorry," they blurred at the same time.

Their eyes widened as they spoke in synch. Silence fell again, but it was definitely less heavy than it had been last time.

"I am sorry, Hana," Haru said, the first to break the silence. He looked down slightly. "I said some pretty terrible things to you..."

"Don't, Haru," she protested, raising her hands. "I'm sorry too. I should've told you what was going on from the start. I shouldn't have been as forceful as I was. I was just so worried about you. Y-You're really important to me, Haru." She blushed when she said it.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Haru," he argued. "You were only concerned for me. I made you worry, and for that I'm truly sorry."

Hana rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop it," she said lightly. "I forgave you a long time ago. You were really stressed, I should've been supportive instead of forceful."

"Please, Hana, stop apologising..."

"No, you need to stop apologising."

They force, realising what they'd both just said. And then it finally settled in Hana's brain; she and Haru were perfectly okay. There were no grudges being held and neither of them were holding the blame against the other.

"We're good?" she asked in a whisper, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Yes," he confirmed, smiling at her. "We are."

Hana felt her face split into a wide smile and she cried out, flinging her arms around his neck burying her face in Haru's shoulder. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. They stayed there, almost frozen in time, caring about nothing else but the presence of the other. From her position, face buried in Haru's shirt, Hana could breathe in his familiar scent, which calmed her and reassured her that yes, this was all real. Haru was there, and he was okay, and everything was good between them.

I never want this to end.

"I love you, Etsumi Hana," Haru murmured, his voice slightly muffled by her hair. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to show to you just how much you mean to me."

"Don't be silly," Hana scoffed, but she didn't have it in her to come across as harsh. Her voice was soft and gentle instead. "I understand. I love you, Nanase Haruka, I really do."

They stayed locked in their embrace for a long time. How long exactly, Hana couldn't tell. Time seemed to have just lost all meaning. It was just her and Haru, and that was all she cared about.

When they finally broke apart, Haru started to search through his bag. When he pulled out a small box, Hana felt her cheeks turn a violent shade of red as she realised just what it was. 

"Haru, you didn't need to get me anything..." She protested, but inwardly her heart started racing and her whole body felt warmer.

"I wanted to," he said. "Besides, it's just past our one-year anniversary, isn't it?"

Hana gasped. With all the craziness of the past few weeks she had forgotten; the day of Regionals last year, she and Haru had started dating. They hadn't yet celebrated it; both of them seemed to have forgotten in their stress. 

Haru smiled a little, which also lit up his eyes. "Turn around, Hana."

Hana obliged, and felt Haru's fingers brush across her neck as he moved her hair over one shoulder. Something cool settled on her neck, but she forced herself not to look down and see what it was until Haru was finished.

When his fingers retracted, Hana glanced down to see what was hanging around her neck. She gasped. It was a necklace on a simple silver chain. The pendant was silver too, on the edges at least. The middle was glass, and instead she could see a small seashell. 

It was gorgeous.

"It's beautiful," she breathed, staring down at it in awe. She turned around and looked him directly in the eye. "Thank you."

Even when he was in Australia, he was thinking about me, even just for a second when he saw that necklace. Hana felt dizzy. She couldn't believe Haru had been thinking about her in Australia, even after they'd fought and shouted words they weren't proud of.

But she knew they were over that now. They could move on, forget about the past, and focus on their futures. Together.

Hana smiled, and started to close the distance between their faces. He did the same, and soon their lips met.

It was like no kiss they'd shared before. Hana wrapped her arms around Haru's neck, pulling him closer to her. One of his hands was in her hair, the other wrapped around her waist. She closed her eyes in content, losing herself in the bliss of the kiss.

And Hana wanted to freeze that moment and stay trapped in the absolute bliss, which was nothing like she'd ever felt before.

But when they finally parted, it wasn't with much reluctance or sadness at all. Because, she realised, they had plentiful more moments like that to come in the future.

She wouldn't have had it any other way.

*     *      *

When they finally walked into the stadium, they remained hand-in-hand. Hana felt like she could grow wings and fly to the moon, she was so ecstatic. Everything was good between herself and Haru; if anything, the stress they'd been under the past week seemed to dissipate into thin air. It was like they'd blown past a few boundaries they hadn't realised were in place and now understood each other even better, which only drew them closer.

They soon spotted Makoto, who stood in the hands. He looked over at them, and smiled upon noticing their intertwined hands.

"This really is nationals," he sighed, turning back to the pool when they arrived. Even when they were next to Makoto, Hana kept hold of Haru's hand. "Everyone so fast!"

"Makoto..." Haru I said something really awful to you before. I'm sorry."

"Haru..." Makoto shook his head. "No, I'm the one who's sorry. For not being able to tell you about my plans." He looked away slightly, leaning back over the bannister as he spoke. "I felt like I wasn't suited for competitive swimming. The world of competition isn't for me. So I'd been thinking I'd just go to our local college or something, since there wasn't anything in particular I wanted to do."

He paused, and a small smile spread across his face. "But then, I ended up helping Coach Sasabe at the club. At first, I only thought of it as helping him out. But then, I started really having fun teaching kids how to swim. I met Hayato, and I really wanted to do something to help him swim." He chuckled and glanced back at them. "Remember how you gave me advice when I was at such a loss over him?"

Haru turned his head away. "I didn't really do anything..."

"And I was completely clueless, despite having been in Hayato's position myself," Hana recollected, chuckling as she spoke.

Makoto shook his head. "When I taught Hayato how to swim backstroke, he told me,'I'm not scared of swimming anymore! I had fun!'" He smiled, and looked better than Hana had seen him for a long time. "It made me happy. And that's why I wanted to show even more kids how fun it is to swim!" He gazed out to the pool, where so many people were still at work practicing for the tournament that was a mere two days away. "I want to join the teaching side of the swim world. And to learn how to do that, I'm going to college in Tokyo. That's the dream I found for myself."

"And it's perfect for you," Hana said with a light laugh. She could already picture Makoto in the role as a swimming teacher. He was a natural with other people and always wanted to help others. That was the perfect job for him. He's really found his calling, she reflected with a smile.

"You'll definitely make it happen," Haru agreed, leaning a little closer.

"Thanks. All that studying won't be easy, though."

"Don't I know," Hana said with an over dramatic sigh. "The place where I've got a scholarship will be making me work hard, I can tell that already." You couldn't exactly get in on a scholarship and not work hard; she still needed to be able to maintain it. She wouldn't be able to slack off for one minute during university.

But she didn't care. It would get her where she wanted to go. And she wouldn't be at it alone; she'd always have Haru and Makoto by her side in Tokyo to talk to about anything that was troubling her in the slightest.

"What about you, Hana?" Makoto asked.

"My dream?" Hana echoed. With nods from the other two, she smiled and started to speak. "Well, I want to write my own novel, if I ever get the full inspiration for one. That's the big dream. Until then... I'd love to be a literature teacher." She began to speak faster, more passionately, and in that instance she knew that she'd made the right decision for herself, and that this was what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. "I helped the kids all the time at the writing club, and to see them gain confidence in their abilities whenever I encouraged them... It really made me happy. That's going to be my path. And it doesn't mean I'll give up on swimming entirely, either! I've been thinking about helping out at a local swim club as a job while I'm at university. It'll be fun."

"You'll do it, Hana. I know you will."

Hana looked directly into his ocean blue eyes. A smile spread slowly across her face, her cheeks attaining a light dusting of delicate pink. "Thanks, Haru," she whispered, leaning a little into his side. For a moment her eyes flicked to Makoto and they exchanged a smile. 

It was funny to think that, weeks ago, they'd all been uncertain about their futures and what was going on. The way forth had been clouded for all of them; it had been like stumbling through the dark, neither of them having any idea where they'd end up.

But the distance of the future wasn't clouded anymore. For a brief moment, Hana thought she could see the future ahead of them all as clear as day, and as clear as all the open waters.

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yeah. i did it. i included both titles of this story and open waters.
we're so close to the end now... i hope that harhana scene wasn't too forced or that haru was too ooc! i just really wanted a fluffy harhana scene after the events of all the past chapters... i think they deserve a moment of happiness after everything that's happened :D

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