Clouded Distance

Chapter Twenty-One

Precaution

Hana sighed as she exited her house. She rubbed her forehead tiredly. It's too early in the morning to deal with mum's lectures, she thought drowsily.

Even though it was the day after the prefectural tournament finished, Mae had decided not to congratulate her and her team for getting through to Regionals, but rather scold her for not attending the writing club frequently. After many words about futures and things Hana didn't even want to think about at this time of the morning, it had been a relief to finally escape the house.

Hana exhaled heavily. She'd applied for that scholarship. She'd written somethng for the newspaper. Surely that would be enough to sedate her mother.

Apparently not.

Her head still filled with the words her mother had thrown at her about the importance of her writing and how swimming was only a distraction, Hana looked up from the doorhandle and saw Haru was waiting for her. The moment they met the other's eyes Haru must have sensed that something was wrong, for he was by her side in an instantly. "Hana? Are you okay?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm fine," Hana said, a sigh mixed in with her words. "Mum just had a bit of a go at me for missing the writing club. It's too early in the morning for that sort of thing."

Haru quickly placed a kiss to her lips. Hana smiled and allowed herself to melt into it. "Don't worry about it," Haru said once they broke apart. "She's upset over nothing."

Hana shrugged. "Eh, I might just pop in today, to prevent World War Three breaking out in our house."

After mutally agreeing that probably would be the best course of action, the two of them headed down to Makoto's. Once they'd all joined up, they headed for school.

They were able to talk easier today, which made Hana feel a little more at ease. Maybe it was a one-off, she thought. Maybe things will be fine from hereon.

Classes that day were a drag, and it was a relief to finally be released. She, Makoto, and Haru had found Nagisa and Rei standing outside, their eyes fixated on something. Hana looked in their direction and found a banner, congratulating the swim club on advancing to regionals.

"They made a real banner for us this year," Nagisa said happily.

"Yeah, last year, they just reused the judo club's banner," Hana chuckled. She recalled the way the words "swim club" had been stuck over the top of "judo club." When the wind blew, they'd been able to see the words of the other club underneath.

Nagisa sighed. "But why do I still not feel right?"

"Obviously, it's because we lost to Samezuka!" Rei exclaimed. "Makoto-senpai, Nagisa-kun, don't you feel frustrated about it? I'm immensely frustrated! Even if we're moving on to regionals, we lost to Samezuka in the relay!"

Hana lowered her head. She couldn't exaclty say she felt the same way about the relay as the others - she hadn't swum in it. But she had felt the small tension in the team before the relay. I wish I could help them, but I have no idea how. "Let's go to practice," Makoto finally said. "We need to start training hard to advance through Regionals."

The other agreed and began to make their way to the pool, but Hana lingered behind. Makoto was the first to notice.

"Hana?" he asked, coming to a stop and looking back at her. The others did the same, concern in their eyes as they glanced at her.

Hana just smiled and waved an arm. "Just go to practice, and I'll catch up. I need to go to the writing club since I've been neglecting it."

For a moment, her eyes met Haru's, and he nodded. He understood, at least. He'd probably talk it all over with the others once they reached the pool.

"Okay," Makoto conceded eventually. "We'll see you soon, then?"

"Of course." Hana grinned. "I wouldn't miss practice for the world - not when we just made it to Regionals."

* * *

Hikaru was staring as her, as though he had no idea who she might be. "Hello there, stranger. What can I do for you?"

Hana rolled her eyes, but grinned nonetheless. "Hikaru-kun," she greeted brightly.

His look of faked confusion melted away and was replaced by a bright smile as he laughed. "Good to see you again, Hana. You got your application through alright?"

"Yeah. I just need to wait for results now."

"That's good to hear."

Hana nodded. She nervously tugged at the end of her hair. "Hey," she murmured after a small pause, "Is there any writing task I could pick up? I feel like I've been neglecting this club."

"Hey, don't worry about that. It's understandable, considering how busy you've been with the swim club." Hikaru clapped her on the shoulder. "You made it past prefecturals, didn't you? Congratulations."

Hana flushed. "Thanks," she murmured, looking down slightly so she didn't meet Hikaru in the eye.

"Anyways, about the writing..." Hikaru glanced briefly around the classroom before returning his focus to Hana. "Could you help Kimi edit her short story? She's doing the piece for the newspaper this month and she's freaking out over it a little."

Kimi. The name struck a chord in Hana's brain. She looked around at everyone as smelled, and her eyes came to rest on a figure in the corner with short red locks. "Of course. She's the red-haired one, right?"

"That's her."

"Okay. I'll see what I can do to help."

Hana wandered on over to the short-haired girl, who was biting the end of her pencil and staring blankly at the page, which actually had many words scribbled on it. She noticed Hana approach; she looked up at the older girl with widened blue eyes.

But Hana just smiled and knelt down by the other girl's desk. "Hi. Kimi-san, is it?" she asked in a soft voice. The other girl bobbed her head once. Hana grinned. "Nice to meet you, Kimi-san. I'm Etsumi Hana." Hana outstretched her hand slightly. "Do you mind if I read over your story?"

Kimi hesitated. Her eyes flicked down to the piece of paper in front of her and up at Hana's face. She's self-conscious about her story. Hana felt a rush of understanding. It had happened to her all the time when she was younger. Even when she had her story published in the newspaper, she'd felt incredibly nervous.

After a long period of thought, Kimi must have decided that Hana wouldn't fully criticise her work for she handed it over. Hana took it with a murmured thank you and began to read.

At once, she was blown away at the younger girl's talent. For being only a first year, Kimi had incredible story-telling talent. Her characters were realistic and her description was a pleasure to read.

Hana felt almost disappointed when she reached the end; she'd have liked to have read more, not just the three pages they were allocated for the newspaper. But she smiled and the red-haired girl and enthused, "This is really good! You've got such a creative mind." Hana beamed at Kimi, trying to get her excited about the story. The smile turned into a frown as Kimi just sat there, her expression unchanged.

Hana reached out and placed her hand over Kimi's. "What's the matter?" she inquired gently. "You look glum."

Kimi had been staring resolutely at a certain spot on the table for a while now, ever since Hana started to read her story. Now she was being addressed, Kimi shrank back in her chair and murmured in a barely audible voice, "Are you sure it's any good?"

Ah. Lack of self-confidence. That could be anyone's biggest downfall. Hana experienced it herself, now she thought of it. She was always doubting that her efforts would be enough, especially when it came to swimming and writing. But Kimi was so young and she shouldn't be doubting herself like that, especially when she had such potential and talent.

"Hey. Listen to me." Hana placed a hand on one of Kimi's shoulders. The younger girl looked up, meeting Hana's darker eyes. "I think this is brilliant," Hana said sincerely. "I'm sure everyone else will think so when they come to read it, too. Remember, you are your own harshest critic. Even I look back at my writing and hate it sometimes." She smiled gently and squeezed the girl's shoulder. "So don't worry. Trust the opinions of everyone around you. They know what is good writing and what isn't, they wouldn't lie to you."

The more Hana spoke, the more Kimi's eyes lit up and started to sparkle. "Really?"

Hana nodded. "Really. Now, do you want to go through this together?"

Kimi agreed, and the two of them spent time going through the story. Hana picked out all the good parts of Kairi's story and what parts could be improved on. By the time they finished, Kimi had a small smile on her face and she appeared to be more confident.

"Thanks, Hana," Hikaru said, after Hana had left Kimi to her own devices, after reassuring the young girl she'd be more than fine on her own. "You really helped her out there."

Hana shrugged, but she did cast a fond look back at the girl."It wasn't a problem. We all feel that way. She just needed some reassurance, that was all."

Hikaru nodded. He scratched the back of his head, looking as though he was debating something internally. Eventually he came to a decision for he looked Hana in the eyes and saidl, "Hey, Hana... If you wouldn't mind, could you be a mentor for the younger ones? The rest of us third-years have tried, but we can't seem to find the proper way to interact with the first years. You seem to have it down pat, though. I know I'm asking you to give up time at the swim club but it really would be appreciated, and -"

"Oh no, it's fine!" Hana exclaimed. Helping Kimi had made her feel a rush of affection and warmth she didn't experience everyday. It had been so pleasing and satisfying, working through the story together and encouraging the young girl. Seeing Kimi's confidence increase had definitely been rewarding. It was something she'd definitely like to do again, and she was sure the others in the swim club would understand. "I'd be happy to come in. How about I come in for half an hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday? I'm sure my friends won't miss me too much."

Hikaru nodded agreement. His facial features lost a bit of their tension - Hana guessed that he must've been really worried about how to handle the first year students. "Thanks, Hana," he said.

"Anytime." Hana checked her watch her eyes and her jaw dropped. "Now I really need to get to the swim club!" she exclaimed hastily. She had told her friends she'd only be a short while... if three quarters of an hour could be considered a short time!

Hana call hear Hikaru call goodbye as she quickly made a dash to the change rooms. There, she pulled on her swimsuits as fast as she could, grabbed her goggles and cap, and hurried outside.

Everyone else was in the pool by the time she arrived, except for Gou, who watched the practice with a critical eye.

"Hey, Gou," Hana greeted. "Sorry I'm late, there was more for me to do at the writing club than I first anticipated. I - what happened?"

For the usually cheery, upbeat expression that was on Gou's face was gone, and replaced with furrowed eyebrows and a small frown. Hana looked straight into Gou's eyes and knew at once something had happened, but nothing good had come out of it.

Sure enough, Gou sighed and said, "A scout called. They had noticed Haruka-senpai's one-hundred metre freestyle the other day."

Ah. I see. Hana glanced back out to the pool, where Haru was swimming his usual stroke, the others in neighbouring lanes. She already knew the answer as to whether he declined or said he was interested.

"He declined, didn't he?" she murmured. Her mind went back to two nights ago, where she, Haru, and Makoto had talked about that very event.

Gou nodded once. "Yeah."

Hana sighed and gazed out at Haru, where he performed his effortless freestyle stroke.

Why did you decline, Haru? I know you want to swim free, but... did you even consider this? Did you even think it over before you declined? Did it even remotely pick at your interest?

Have you even given a thought about your future?

Despite what you tell me, are you really, truly okay at all?

* * *

Days passed. Hana let everyone know about her plan to help out at the writing club. Despite Gou not being too happy that she'd miss practice, her teammates were supportive of her decision. Especially Haru, since he knew that the pressure was coming from her mother.

Haru also received many scouting calls over the week, but he showed no interest in any one of them. Hana didn't bring it up with Haru, since she knew that the topic would only end badly, but she was concerned. Everyone in their year was looking at college applications and Haru was acting like he wasn't about to leave high school in mere months time.

A week after Hana's return to the writing club, Hana turned up at the pool late. Kimi was making good progress, and her confidence in her writing was increasing. Hana had never felt such joy as she had when giving Kimi soft, encouraging words, and seeing Kimi's eyes brighten up each day.

Gou and Miss Amakata were on the side, everyone else in the pool and swimming hard. "Anything interesting happen while I was away?" Hana asked, approaching them.

Miss Amakata sighed. "Another scouting call came in today, but Nanase-kun wasn't interested as usual," she said.

"Well, a few came in for my brother, too," Gou said. As they spoke Makoto clambered out of the pool, and came to stand beside Hana. "So I'm sure Haruka-senpai will be okay! He'll find his drive soon enough."

Makoto lowered his head. "I wonder if that's what Haru really wants, though," he mused in a low voice.

"Huh?" Gou piped, looking over. Makoto has spoken quietly; Hana guessed she had been the only one to hear him.

"Oh, nothing!" Makoto said hurriedly.

"That reminds me," Gou said, "Have you decided what to do after graduation, Hana, Makoto-senpai?"

Hana and Makoto exchanged a quick glance. Makoto nodded at her, telling her he'd speak first. "I haven't decided completely," he said, "But I'll probably apply for the local university."

"And I've applied for a scholarship," Hana murmured, ignoring the look of surprise from Gou. "The results should come around the regional tournament and I'll find out if I've been accepted or not. I doubt it, though, so many other talented writers other than me will be applying for the position."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Hana," Gou said. "I've read your writing, and you're really good! They'd be crazy to refuse you."

Hana chuckled softly. "Thanks, Gou."

They talked for a short while longer but, not wanting to spend too much time dwelling on the future, Hana entered the pool and continued her regimen.

When training finished, the others decided to visit the nearby shrine before regionals. Hana declined going. She couldn't explain what it was, but she felt as though she needed a break, to sit down and have some time to herself for a while. Maybe it was because she still sensed some underlying tension, which came from Haru. And Hana hated it. She was his girlfriend, wasn't she? Shouldn't she be able to help him? She wasn't sure she could stand feeling like that tonight.

After bidding everyone farewell, she trekked up to her house. It was rather lonely, heading home on her own. Normally she had someone who walked with her, and the silence was instead filled with chatter. Not even the light crash of the waves against the beach shore was enough to make her feel more at ease.

It was a relief once she reached the comforts of her house again. She only called a greeting to her parents before she headed up to her room and proceeded to collapse on her bed, her eyes glued to the ceiling.

Hana sighed and rested her hand on her forehead. She knew she was probably getting worried over nothing.

But Haru meant so much to her, as did her friends. All she wanted was to make sure they were okay. It could be nothing she was dealing with, but if it wasn't, Hana wanted to be there for everyone.

Shee needed to talk to someone; someone who could offer an outside opinion, someone she could trust.

The answer came to her instantly.

Hana reached inside her blazer pocket and pulled out her phone, and entered the number she hadn't called very often. Even though they didn't get to speak too often, he was still a good friend of hers, and he might just have some advice for her.

It wasn't long before he answered.

"Hello?" the familiar voice spoke.

"Rin?" she murmured.

"Hana, is that you?" Rin sounded a little surprised. It was to be expected; Hana hadn't called him very many time.

She nodded. "Yeah."

A pause.

"Hana, are you okay?" Rin asked, concerned. Her tone was voice was enough to indicate that something was wrong.

Hana bit her lip. "Rin... Is it okay we were get together at some point? I just need to talk."