Cloud Nine Reviews
Title of Story: The Celestials

Title: Marvel uses the same name for a heroic series, implying that it is not entirely the first in its line. Still, the title corresponds well to the storyline deeming it a fit title. Plus, since it is a fantasy-centered novel it has a good ring to it.

Cover: Looks like something I'd see on the paid stories shelf no doubt. The text is designed and not simply placed. It balances really well with the image and overall the cover speaks for itself. Subtitles are relevant and do not slap over the main title. Is it just really high quality or is it a professionally made cover? If not, kudos to you because it sure looks like one. Nicely done.

Blurb: I recommend that you merge two or remove one of the opening phrases. They are four in total, which
in my opinion can affect both the starting momentum and the reader's first impression.

dilagmakata tip #10: You may also want to place the excerpt of the story near the beginning rather than the second half of the blurb as it plays the bigger role in enticing the reader.

I believe it can be written a tad bit shorter and still make a good blurb. However, in essesence, it is enough to give off a sense of curiosity and make readers want to know more.

Grammar: Your grammar is nearly spotless as well. There are errors such as in spacing and capitalisation that only seem to be typos.

dilagmakata tip #11: Do not forget to use lowercase for dialogue tags unless they are proper nouns.

example:

Tom sighed in exasperation.

"It's a bit sad that we don't get to talk in this cartoon." he replied to Jerry the mouse.

I do think these are minor and only overlooked, even I still commit these mistakes as well.

Plot: Although the chapters are noticeably shorter than the average novel, the plot has its foundation and moves the story forward, following the story of a initially troubled yet kind hearted protagonist. This is a common hero-doesn't-know-he's-hero beginning, but that doesn't mean your story isn't unique from characters up to the rest of the elements. I also like how you alternate description and dialogue in a way that it is not too much of one than the other.

Additonally, for a fourteen-year-old (if this is still accurately the case) you have a very keen eye already. I am glad to say that you build plots and characters well than most who are at your age.

Continue writing as this is an undiscovered gem yet to be a killer story. Strengthen the plot if you can (meaning remove unnecessary scenes if any) and keep checking for errors, slowly revising as needed.

Well, that's it for my short, blissful, and honest review on The Celestials. Don't forget to follow rule #3. And once again, thank you so much for allowing me to review your work!

"Courage is grace under pressure."
-Ernest Hemmingway

love always,
dilagmakata