Time really passes by fast when you are happy.

Jungkook had this realization for the last couple of months. They passed in a blink of an eye. Seasons changed. Summer turned into rainy season and rainy season soon turned into beautiful fall. The leaves were tainted with beautiful orange color. It was short lived though as soon they fell, the sky started getting dark early and the winter announced its grand early arrival. The weather was getting pretty chilly. The last few months honestly amazing for Jungkook. Or anyone in their little group of five. Things were taking a turn for the better.

Soobin had become a prominent part of their darkness filled life and honestly filled it with warmth. He had made it his mission to hangout with his sister at least once every other week. Doesn't matter what they did. They could go to cafes, libraries, picnics, shopping, anything Lily approved. She was really really trying her best to not do anything with him, but seriously is there anyone in this world that can look into Soobin's eyes and tell him no? Lily also gave up and accepted that she can never win from him. Once every other week soon turned into once every week. Soobin would adorably tell Lily whatever happened to him during the past week and she would listen with all the fondness in the world. Jungkook would also definitely tag with them. He was Lily's partner after all.

He was the first one to notice Lily's changes. The big cracks in her cold demeanor, her enjoying every second of her time when she's doing new and normal, her picking up small interests in different hobbies like painting with Jungkook and so many more small things. The biggest change was though the fact that her missions are getting less frequent and way less brutal. It's amazing to see.

Doyoung and Gaeul are also doing well. Gaeul has been admitted to one of the most prestigious schools of Seoul. Doyoung is insanely proud of that. Gaeul seem to enjoy his school life. On the first day of his school all four of them came to drop him off. Soobin, Lily, Jungkook, Doyoung. Gaeul cried with happiness. He was a bit embarrassed because the elders saw his tears and it's embarrassing to cry because he's a 'big boy' now. But he again figured out that it's okay, they're his family after all.

At first Jungkook didn't know how having a family felt, how belonging to a family felt but now he thinks he understands. Being there when the other needs, being present in big life events, being able to lean on someone, in fact gathering together and being able to have dinner together brings him so much happiness. He loves it. He loves this feeling.

Lily hasn't officially told Jungkook how she feels about all of this. Where she stands mentally about this whole thing. Jungkook wishes she would tell him. But he doesn't want to be the first one to ask. He doesn't want to ruin this. He wishes things could go on as they are going on right now. Lily slowly getting better, healthier, happier and walking towards a normal life. The five of them being together. That's all he wants.

Lily and Jungkook are sitting at a skater park that Soobin had dragged them to. Doyoung and Gaeul are also here. So is the rest of Soobin's friends aka TxT. Soobin really wanted to show them how cool he's gotten with a skateboard after just a few weeks of practicing. He also wanted to teach Gaeul skateboarding a bit that's why he asked Doyoung to bring Gaeul. It wasn't the plan but Soobin was too afraid that if they are a few days late, the weather would keep getting chiller and the skateboard ramp would freeze with ice. So he brought them today.

All the TxT boys, including Soobin were amazing with the boards. It felt like they were flying with the board. Really cool. Lily clapped every time Soobin did a flip. But she was scared that he might lose balance and hurt himself. Soobin has assured her that she's really good and he wouldn't fall. After he was done showing his skills off he went on to teach Gaeul skateboarding.

"Boys these days are so cool, aren't they?"Jungkook asked, looking with amazement at all of them.

"Why are you just sitting here and not going to learn it?"Lily asked.

"I'm probably gonna look st.."

"Jungkook-ah, it'll literally take you half a second to learn this, stop trying to downplay yourself and go. I know you want to learn it too."

"Lily.."

"Just go,"Lily pushed Jungkook away from the bench they were sitting at,"And don't hurt yourself."

"But you might get bored,"Jungkook turned on his heels towards her.

"I find watching you the most entertaining thing in the world, I've told you that a million times,"Lily said.

Jungkook chuckled and walked towards her,"Fine. Imma be back soon." He then took his backpack from beside her and got his sketchbook that he these days carries around out along with a pen,"Incase..just incase you get bored, do some doodling or something."

"Okay,"Lily accepted the sketchbook and put it on her lap,"Now go."

As expected Jungkook got a hang of skating in less than ten minutes. There is really nothing he cannot do. Lily felt a sense of pride when the other people at the skatepark looked at Jungkook with awe and envy as he easily skated down the ramp gracefully.

The scenery in front of Lily was quite nice to her eyes. Soobin teaching Gaeul skateboarding while Doyoung making sure Gaeul doesn't fall off. Jungkook skating with the TxT boys. Everything was nice to see.

Lily was liking spending time here. She liked being here with them. She liked spending time with these people. She liked seeing them enjoy their time with big smiles on their face. Their smiles bring a smile on her face. Like it brought this time as well. She unknowingly smiled.

She quickly sighed and stopped smiling. She dislikes this. She has been smiling so much these days. She tries her best to not show other people the fact that she's smiling. A few times she got caught, mostly by Jungkook. That just makes her dislike the whole situation even more. It's obvious that there are drastic changes within her.

Lily was smiling more, liking spending time with other people more, all of the things she liked to do doesn't interest her anymore like they used to, she is finding more things that are conventionally normal starting to interest her, she is starting to feel a lot of feelings, hiding her expressions was now hard.

She hates to admit it but she is breaking every boundary that she had set for herself the day she murdered her mother. She won't feel anything, she won't smile or show any kind of emotions, never grow an attachment to anything or anyone, never ever fall in love, never aspire to have a 'normal' life. And last but the most important one is that she will never forget her ultimate goal. Killing her father. The worst way possible. The the only thing she will live and breathe for is to eventually find her father and kill him. That will be her only driving force. That  drive for revenge. That wish to see his face distraught in pain, hear his screams of agony.

All these years that had been the only thing that kept her going. If she didn't have this goal, there would be no reason for her to be alive. There would be really no point of her life. If she didn't have this goal, she would've ended her life that very night that she killed her mother.

But now the more she spends time with them the more, these rules and goals become hazy to her. She feels like living like this is not too bad. She feels like being normal isn't too bad. She absolutely hates that she feels this way.

She is weak now. Her drive was gone now. She is becoming everything she promised to never become. She is becoming a loser. A girl that wants normalcy. A girl that wants to throw away all that she ever wanted just for a few seconds of happiness, togetherness and warmth. A sore loser.

She took the pencil and wrote down 'Loser' in big bold letters in a page of the sketchbook.

She was so deep in her cloud of thoughts, she didn't notice Soobin come and sit beside her. She was pulled out her train of thoughts when he patted her shoulder,"Hi."

"Hey, why are you.."

"Tired. And now Taehyun is coaching Gaeul. Noona, Gaeul is a very fast learner. Jungkook hyung too. They might as well become professionals."

"You were amazing too, Soobin-ah. Those flips were really cool."

Soobin showed a big heartwarming smile,"Really?"

Lily nodded,"Really."

"Thank you! But noona?"

"Hmm?"

"What were you just thinking?"Soobin asked,"You seemed very deep in thought."

"Ah...just..stuff."

"Noona, are you okay?"Soobin asked,"You sound kinda sad."

Here it goes again. Her voice used to never give her away. But this has been happening more and more in front of Jungkook and Soobin.

"I'm fine, Soobin-ah,"She said collecting herself.

"Oh,"Soobin said, definitely not buying her answer,"Anyway. What were you drawing?" Soobin quickly glanced at her sketchbook before she could close it. His expression immediately fell when he saw 'loser' written there so aggressively. As if Lily's frustration and sadness was coming alive in that writing.

"Why did you write that, noona?"Soobin asked gently putting his hand on her shoulder,"What happened? Please tell me, noona. Are you okay?"

Lily chuckled hearing his worried voice and seeing his face full of concern,"It's n.."

Soobin narrowed his eyes,"Stop trying to fool me. I see right through your lies. Please tell me why you're sad or..or..."Soobin looked around trying to think of what he's gonna say. The best he could come up with is,"Or I'm going to be very angry. So you better tell me what's bothering you, young lady."

Lily couldn't hold back her smile. A small smile showed up on her face. He is just so damn adorable and pure. She once again sighed when she realized she was smiling,"This. Soobin. This is the problem."

"What?"

"Me. Changing. Me forgetting every rule I had set for myself."

"Such as?"

"Nothing. Forget I just said anything."

"No, you're going to tell me. Noona. I want to help you. Please. Do you not trust me?"

"Soobin-ah, it's not like that. You know what? You win,"Lily sighed,"Rules like....not having feelings, not get close to other people or attached, only think of my ultimate goal. All of it feels so hard to maintain now..I am unable to follow any of these rules. I..I feel like a loser now, Soobin-ah."

"That's probably the most negative and the worst way to put it, noona,"Soobin shook his head,"Why do you think, this makes you a loser? Why would you feel like one?"

"Soobin.."

Soobin took the sketchbook and pencil from her and wrote something while talking to her,"Noona, having feelings is a good thing. Sharing them is a good thing. All of this is good and healthy for you. That's what should be done. That's a good step towards a beautiful change. Honestly, I can't find anything negative about this change that you're talking about."

"Listen, Soobin-ah..."

"Try to change your way of thinking. Instead of loser, think yourself as a lover. Lovers never lose, noona,"Soobin looked at her and smiled,"Really. Because they love to their heart's content, live to their heart's content and aren't tied down by anything."

"Noona, you're not a loser,"Soobin said and held her hand,"You're a lover. Think about it that way. Okay?"

Lily chuckled,"Okay. Your friends are calling you. Join them."

Lily then pushed Soobin towards the ramp. Soobin turned around and said,"But remember what I said. Never think that you're a loser ever again."

"Fine. Soobin. Now go."

Soobin showed his bright smile and walked towards the ramp.

Lily looked at the sketchbook now. Soobin had overwritten on the 'V' on the 'S' of 'loser' and doodles flowers and hearts around it. It completely changed her self hatred that she portrayed on the sketchbook with a beautiful hopeful message. Lily surprisingly didn't feel that bad anymore. Soobin's words somehow changed her perspective a little bit. Maybe these changes aren't too bad. Maybe she can actually turn her life around and break away from this darkness. Maybe killing her father isn't the only reason behind her existence.

Lover, Huh?

That's a nice way to think about it.

"So, I've been thinking about something,"Lily said, breaking the comfortable silence between her and Jungkook.

It is nighttime now. Really chilly. But still they were on the roof enjoying a beer. Jungkook was standing by the railing of the roof of their building. Jungkook had his front against the railing while he looked over the scenery. Lily was sitting on the railing back facing the scenery. She was sitting right beside where his hand was resting on the railing. She was swinging her legs. Both of them were drinking their beer silently till now. But hearing her voice he turned his head towards her.

"What?"Jungkook asked.

"I had told Soobin that these days due to my changes I felt like a loser. But he put it in a very nice way and said there's no reason to feel that way and that I'm not a loser. I'm a lover."

Jungkook smiled, hiding the fact that he was feeling extremely saddened by her saying that she felt like a loser,"He's so smart."

"Yeah I'm aware. Anyway..so I've been thinking...a lot these few days. Since we went to that skatepark."

"And?"

"I've come to a conclusion."

"What?"

"That I am not gonna forcefully stop these changes. I'm gonna let it go with the flow. I'm gonna think that I'm a lover and not a loser."

Jungkook smiled, this time with real joy,"That's amazing. Don't hold yourself back. That is the best for you."

"Hmm,"Lily nodded while sipping her beer,"That means I'm not gonna start to share some of my feelings with you."

"Really? I would love that!"

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean? Of course, I'm one hundred percent sure."

Lily then suddenly kicked the side of his thigh and made him fall on the floor,"Ouch! What was that for?"Jungkook asked rubbing the side of his thigh.

"Sharing my feelings. I really didn't appreciate you flirting with the cashier of the grocery store today."

Jungkook frowned.

What?

"Lily, what the fuck do you mean? What cashier? And I just asked her how her day was. Is that flirting? That's called decency,"Jungkook said while standing up. Lily and Jungkook had gone to the grocery store in the morning to get some ramen. She had been awfully quiet after the little trip. Is that why?

"So you're gonna tell me you didn't notice her throwing herself all over you, sizing you up and biting her lip?"Lily asked gulping down her beer,"That totally gave her ideas."

"What? No. None got any ideas except for you. And I am not even interested in her. She's not even my type."

Lily narrowed her eyes,"So you have a type? Seems like I don't know a lot about you. What's your type?"

"Yo.."Jungkook abruptly stopped and controlled himself. He was so riled up by her sudden ridiculous accusations of him flirting with a cashier that he almost ruined their friendship. Who knows what Lily would act like after she gets to know what he feels about her.

Jungkook sighed and looked away at the scenery,"Why are we suddenly fighting about this, Lily? It's the most ridiculous topic to have a fight about."

"Why? Is this not the topic most lovers have fights about?"

Jungkook immediately whipped his head towards her hearing that sentence. Did she just say 'most lovers'? Did she actually mean that in that way? Or is he wishful thinking?

"What did you just say?"

Lily looked away,"Umm...after I've thought about the whole 'lover' thing, I think the first step I should take is being a literal lover and have one. And it's been long since I've had these weird feelings for you. I've never experienced them before. And I think they're.."

Jungkook could swear that everyone in this building could hear his heartbeat. His heart was beating in an ungodly speed, he did not know it was even possible for a heart to beat this fast,"They're what?"

Lily looked farther away,"You know what? It's really cold. Let's head back inside.."

Before Lily could run away he had grabbed her so she couldn't move. His hands were now on both sides of her, on the railing. He stood right in front of her. She was trapped. She could not jump down.

"Lily, finish your sentence. What're they? What're your feelings for me?"Jungkook looked up at her eyes with pure desperation. His whole world was spinning. He felt as if he could pass out any moment. This isn't because of the beer he drank. This is solely because of her and her existence. Only this girl could make him feel like that.

They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook doesn't know what Lily was thinking or what she would say next. But all he can do is hope and beg that she gives him the answer he wants.

Jungkook's heartbeat accelerated more when she slowly leaned down to him. Everything felt cloudy, hazy, blurring. All he could see was her face inching closer to his. Slowly. Painfully slowly.

Finally, their lips connected. Jungkook immediately closed his eyes to savor this experience. Her lips tasted like beer, longing and pure sin. This was so wrong but felt so right. So perfect. So passionate. Being so happy in this moment felt like sin. A perfect sin.

Jungkook finally opened his eyes when Lily pulled back. She didn't move too far away though. She was breathing heavier. She said in a raspy voice,"This is the best way I could express my feelings towards you. I hope they're clear now."

Jungkook gave a small smile and nodded. His mind was too clouded for him to say anything else.

"And also..Soobin isn't the one who started my change, Jungkook. It all started with you."

Jungkook this time smiled wider.

Lily's cheeks were heating up. They were turning a deep shade of red. This time not from the cold. She looked away when she realized that and jumped up on the railing and stood up there. That sudden action pulled Jungkook out of his trance and made him shout,"What the heck are you doing?"

" I don't know,"Lily said as she spread her arms to balance on the railing and walked on it slowly.

Jungkook was terrified. The railing wasn't well built, it's wasn't thick enough for her to walk comfortably. She might just slip and fall down. And that fall is a big fall. She would fall on hard ground ten stories down. It would be bad.

Jungkook also jumped up the railing and followed her,"You're gonna fall down, Lily. It's dangerous."

"But you're here to catch me if I fall."

She giggled after saying it as she continued walking,"Ah! I feel so fresh after letting it out!"

Jungkook was behind her so he doesn't know what expression she had on. But he was pleased to hear that.

Right then one of her feet slipped. She was about to fall down. But Jungkook's quick reflexes helped and he quickly grabbed her hand, preventing her from falling. One of her feet was on the railing and the rest of her body was suspending in air. His hand was holding her hand securely. He was so scared for the split second.

"You scared the fuck out of me, Lily!"Jungkook exclaimed.

"Ah! This is fun!"She said while waving her other hand and flapping it around mid air. Her hood had fallen down and now her hair was flying everywhere. Her cheeks were red as a strawberry and her eyes held glee inside. They were not a void of darkness anymore. Absolutely stunning.

Jungkook couldn't take it anymore. He was about to pull her up. But she said,"A few more seconds. This is fun."

"Okay I guess. I will hold on to you."

"I don't doubt that,"She said as she looked around in that position.

"How are you so peaceful? Suspended mid air?"Jungkook asked shaking his head,"Why else? Because you're the Lily of course."

Lily chuckled,"Also because I know you wouldn't let me fall. I trust you."

There was it again. His heart accelerated once again.

"Being with you makes me feel warm, Kook-ah. Even in this coldness, I feel warm. Being with you makes me feel so many things. Like right now. My heart feels like it is about to burst. Is this is the feeling people call...euphoric?"

Tears were building up in his eyes now. He couldn't handle it. He had to say it. Before he could even stop himself he blurted the words out.

"I love you, Lily."

Time slowed down again. As he saw Lily first look at him, processing his words and then slowly her lips curved up into the biggest smile he has ever seen on her. For the first time she wasn't trying to hide it, stop it or felt embarrassed that it came out. That smile showed nothing but contentment, delight and joy.

If people thought Lily was beautiful on the daily, they should see how she looks when she smiles like this. Would they be able to survive this beauty? Jungkook knows he is having a hard time surviving this, but this is something he would love to see everyday. Every hour. Every minute. He could do anything for her to smile like that again.

Lily then threw her head back and waved her hand around gracefully once more, enjoying the moment.

She didn't reply to him, he didn't say that so he could get a reply. He said that because he couldn't control his feelings anymore.

Jungkook kept looking at her fondly as she waved her hand around like an excited child. Who else could do that in this position.

Really Lily is just one of a kind.

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