Taehyung's parents seem completely shocked by the news that we are expecting a baby. The tension in the room is almost unbearable, and his father sounds like he is barely controlling his anger as he says, "Kim Taehyung, I am surprised by your carelessness. You, of all people, should have known better."

I see Tae's face flush and his chin is jutting out. "I'm not a poor young farmer, abeoji. I'm not a high school student. My situation is very different, as you surely know."

"You have the knowledge and means to solve this problem, which we did not have at the time." His father looks stern and angry.

"I told you, abeoji, this child is not a problem. We are going to be a proper family, and the baby will have all of our love. I would never regret having my child, or abandon him or her to be raised in another home!" 

"You have advantages! You have wealth and position! You should know better than to bring further disgrace on the memory of your grandparents by behaving in this fashion! A child conceived out of wedlock? And with a foreigner? All of your money and fame hasn't cleared you of misfortune, apparently!" Taehyung's father is shouting now. I glare at him, too angry to care that I'm probably making a bad impression even worse.

"Disgrace? How was any of that my fault? How can I be blamed for my own birth?! I didn't ask you to have sex as students, father! I didn't ask to be banished to my grandparents, and raised apart from my siblings! They still refuse to call me "hyung" or "oppa," did you know that?! They are ashamed to be related to me! I could bring home a hundred Grammys and be elected president of South Korea, and they would still be ashamed! And YOU TAUGHT THEM THAT!!"

I get up from the table, bow quickly, and flee the house, completely overwhelmed.

The shouting crescendos and decrescendos for about three more minutes, and then Taehyung comes slamming out of the front door, angry tears streaming down his face. I am leaning against the concrete wall, near the front gate of the compound, completely shaken. He walks over and hangs his head, tears dripping down onto the concrete pad under our feet.

"Oh, love..." I say, and wrap my arms around him. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. That was so unfair..."

He clings to me, his shoulders shaking as he silently weeps. After a minute, I gently lead him over to a garden bench and we sit down. He tips over and buries his face in my lap, and I cradle his head in my arms and rock him from side to side. "You are a wonderful person, Kim Taehyung. You are brilliant and talented. You are sweet and hilarious. You are so worthy of love and respect. Millions of people love and respect you. I love and respect you. You are an amazing man, Taehyung-ah. You are not defined by the circumstances of your birth. You have risen so far above that. Please know how wonderful you are, babe. Please know how much I love you..."

I hear the front door open, and look over to lock eyes with his mom. She takes in the scene, and retreats back into the house.

______________________________________

Taehyung has a strangely watchful look on his face as he asks if I want to come to the Expo concert. "I would love to, babe, but why are you making that face?"

"I, uh, I invited my parents, too. Surprisingly, they said that they would come. Is it OK if you sit next to them?"

I feel slightly sick to my stomach, suddenly. "Uh, do you think that's a good idea?"

His tongue darts out of his mouth, and he winces. "I'm not sure. But we have to try, right?"

I study his face. "Well, I'll try for your sake, love. Do you think there's any chance that they'll come around, though? Your dad in particular seemed completely dead set against the marriage and the baby, both. I'm not sure that sitting next to them for a couple of hours will change anything."

He sighs heavily, and wraps his arms around me. "You might be right, Birdie. I can't give up quite yet, though. And you're so wonderful, I think they would love you if they only gave you a chance!"

I laugh bitterly. "Maybe, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'll try my best, though, for you." I slide my hands around and put them into the back pockets of his loose jeans, and smile up at him.

He grins at me, and then looks serious again. "If they keep this attitude, then we'll just get married without them, and they won't get to see the baby. I don't want them to say terrible things in front of the baby."

It's my turn to wince. "It would be so sad if the baby couldn't have a relationship with one set of grandparents, but I don't ever want my child to hear the kind of things they say to you..." I lean back to look up at his face, which is a stoic mask.

"The concert is the final test." I've never heard him sound so stern. I silently pray that his parents will start to relent.

____________________________________

The guys are deep in pre-concert prep mode, so I go to my first ob/gyn appointment alone. The doctor seems competent and nice, and she assures me that the fetus is developing normally.

That evening I tell Tae about the doctor visit and his tired face lights up. "Oh, Birdie, that's so good! I've been worried that the baby might be gone, like half of them go."

I look at him quizzically. "Love, we would know if it was gone. They don't just evaporate into the air - there's a lot of pain and mess when pregnancies fail at this point..."

His eyes get really big. "Really? I didn't know that..."

I nod and give him a little smile. "Not as bad as actually having a baby, but yeah..."

He winces. Then he spaces out for a long moment, so I just sit and study his face. He looks up at me after about half a minute. "I have some news, too, but maybe not so good."

I raise my eyebrows. "Uh-oh. What's up, babe?"

"I thought that the company was reserving seats for you at the concert, but they gave passes for the standing area instead." He looks worried. "I don't know if that will be OK for you, Birdie. Or my parents. Will you be OK? Will it hurt the baby if you stand up for hours?"

"I don't think it will hurt the baby, love. It might hurt my feet!" I grin at him. "Are spaces assigned? Are we right at the barricade, or back a bit?"

"You will be just a row or two back. We will have some other staffs who will stand as place-keepers. But are you really sure it's OK? Maybe we should look for some resale stadium tickets. Everything is already sold, but there might be resellers."

"I'm sure it will be fine. For me, anyway. Are your parents going to be able to stand for a couple of hours?"

"I think so," he shrugs. "They're not that old."

I nod, doing some mental math. 'Probably early to mid-40s?' I think, but I don't say it aloud.

_______________________________________

Tae seems to get more and more concerned the closer we get to the concert. "Birdie, what if you get crushed against the barricade? What if people trample you? They could hurt you and hurt the baby, too. Are you sure you want to come?"

"Sweetheart, it's ARMY. I don't think that it will turn into a mosh pit! ARMYs are mostly chill, right?"

"Maybe. Probably. But what if something goes wrong?"

"I will try to stay aware of what's happening in the crowd, babe. If it seems to be getting dangerous, I'll duck out under the barricade and get away. I promise!"

He nods, but he still looks worried.

The next afternoon, my phone notifications ping. Taehyung is posting on Weverse, asking ARMYs to be very careful and not push each other because it's a standing, festival-style concert. I smile and shake my head. "Sweet man. He's so concerned!" I tell Lulu, who doesn't care at all.

_________________________________________

Tae convinces me to take the train to Busan (insert your own zombie jokes here) a couple of days before the concert, and somehow finds me a hotel room in the city. I am worried about distracting him during the final rehearsals and prep, but he claims that he would be more distracted if he knew that I was far away.

I wander the city during the day, marveling at all of the "borafication," and walking on Haeundae Beach in the autumn sunshine. Taehyung is very busy, of course, both with rehearsals but also with dinners, either with the members or his family. I would have expected not to see him until concert day, but he dons his incognito celebrity disguise each evening and comes over to my hotel room.

"This is so risky!" I scold. "Everybody and their dog knows that BTS is in town. And ARMYs can recognize you by your ankle or your eyebrow. I'm terrified that you're going to get mobbed!"

"It would be worse if someone saw you come into my hotel room, though. I'm being really, really careful!"

We spend each night chatting about things we've seen and done that day, cuddled up together on the bed. I massage his tired legs and feet, and he pats my belly and talks to the baby, which makes me laugh, because I'm not even showing yet. Both of us are so exhausted from everything that's going on that we fall asleep by midnight, and he doesn't wake up until his alarm goes off at 8 am, warning him to go sneak back into his own hotel before the staff come around to rouse him.

The afternoon of concert day, he texts me with the directions to meet another BigHit staff member backstage so that I can be escorted to the area that is reserved for me. Taehyung requested the ticket with the excuse that I am an important part of the song-writing team, rather than telling the other staff that we're together, which I appreciate. At this point, I almost assume that the whole company knows, but I prefer to at least maintain the fiction that we're nothing more than song-writing partners.

As I flash my staff badge and make my way backstage, I wonder when his mother and father are going to arrive. The idea of standing next to them for a couple of hours makes my heart sink right through the floor, but I know I have to do it. Maybe they will come around? I'm sure they were really shocked when we met, but they've had some time to adjust to the idea of their son being with a foreigner...

They are already standing with the assistant stage manager when I get there; she passes us along to a junior staff member, who leads us out into the audience area and shows us to the spots reserved for us. Tae's parents both studiously avoid looking at me; I study their faces as best I can with my peripheral vision. It's an extremely long and awkward half hour, standing there, waiting for the gates to open and the other ARMYs to come in.

When the guys come out and start Mic Drop, all thought of our situation flies out of my mind. With the first chords of Run BTS, I begin screaming with joy and can't stop. Tae gave me a couple little teasers of the choreo, but I can't believe how amazing the whole thing is, and he looks like he's having an absolute blast as he dances his ass off on stage. By the end of the song, my face already hurts from beaming so hard.

During Butterfly, he looks over at the section we're standing in. I almost think that he spotted me, but I'm not sure since he has the stage lights in his eyes. But there is no doubt in my mind during Epilogue: Forever Young. His eyes meet mine during Hobi's rap and he nods and smiles, then nods at his parents, too. When it's his first turn to sing, he belts out "Foreveeeer," and then locks eyes with me for "We are young," his gaze lingering for an instant after his phrase is over. I smile at him, tears streaming down my cheeks unheeded. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his mother looking over at me, but I keep my eyes fixed on Taehyung's face.

The next song is For Youth. He glances over at me repeatedly as JK sings "You're the best friend for the rest of my life." After his ending angel moment, singing "I'll be with you for the rest of my life... ooooh-oh-oooh-oooh... Rest of my life," he looks straight at me and again gives me a little smile and nod. I smile back, and press my hand to my heart.

The guys do their usual tease of leaving as if the show is over, and letting ARMY chant at them for about ten minutes before coming out to do the encore. I glance over at Tae's mother, and she makes eye contact and gives me the faintest of smiles but looks away quickly. The crowd around us chants and roars, and we're all waving our ARMY bombs, waiting for BTS to come back.

This time, it's The Queen - Spring Day. They start out inside a train car, evoking the music video. As they file out before Yoongi's rap section, Tae locks eyes with me again and I blow him a kiss. He sings his next line looking around at all the fans, but turns to me again for the antiphonal "Will I see you/Will I meet you?" lines, and then he looks at me as if I'm the only person in the stadium as his soulful voice soars through "Morning will come again!" Suddenly I'm so overcome with all the emotion that I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm going to have a panic attack right there.

The other members make Tae do his ending 'ments last, which he tells everyone he hates to do. Again, he looks over at me several times as he speaks, and I start to feel like the whole stadium must know that we're together. But I reassure myself that everyone probably thinks he is just looking at his parents, if they even notice...

I start to worry again when they do the title song, Yet to Come, as their closing number. Taehyung sings, "I'm not playing now for sure," and lets his eyes drift across my face and his parents' faces, then gives a determined nod.

'Nobody else knows about our situation. Nobody is going to think anything of it!' I tell myself, praying that it's true. I almost wish he would stop looking over at me after every line he or anyone else sings, though. I momentarily imagine all the other ARMYs in the stadium figuring out that we're together and turning on me, and my heart tries to beat its way out of my chest.