Taehyung and I sit down on the floor in front of the Christmas tree to open our gifts. I have gifts from my parents, Emily, and Caleb, plus one from the whole Pohang gang. There are also two under the tree from Tae, one big and one small. He doesn't have any gifts from family, which makes me a bit sad, but I guess it's not a tradition for them. He has bagged gifts from Jin, Hobi, and Jimin, though. I also got him two, which makes me smile - we didn't discuss it, but both settled on two!

I can't stand the anticipation, so I insist that Tae open one of his presents from me first. It's a navy blue Ralph Lauren scarf with the heritage bear embroidered on it. He notices the love letter that I tucked into the box with the scarf and looks at me in shy surprise. He unfolds it and reads:

'My dearest Winter Bear, Kim Taehyung,

I know that I'm not always very good at telling you how much you mean to me. I hope you know that you are the only person I'm thinking of, when I write a love song. I also hope you know that I consider myself the luckiest person on Earth, because somehow you are in my life. How did this even happen? I don't understand it, and it seems like a dream to me much of the time.

Phew, this is difficult! Ha ha. OK. Here's my truth. My heart beats faster and I feel happy whenever you walk into a room. Even if you were only gone for a minute. The way you dance is mesmerizing, except when you're being silly, and then it's hilarious. 😂 Your voice is my favorite sound in the whole world, better than bellbirds singing, better than waterfalls thundering, better than Bulgarian close-harmony choral music. One smile from you makes my whole day 1000% better, and your laughter heals my soul.

You are sweet and thoughtful, brilliant and creative, sexy and goofy, always surprising but also my comfort zone. You are my home. I don't know what I've done to deserve you, to be honest. I feel like you're really too much, too good, too amazing, to be with someone like me. But I love you with my heart and soul, and I hope that this will be just the first of a lifetime of Christmases that we spend together.

I will try to be better about telling you these things, Tae. These thoughts are often on my mind, and I know I should share them with you. I want you to know that you are the only man in the world for me, and already I can't imagine my life without you. Merry Christmas, my love, and let's spend a Happy New Year together!

Forever yours,

Your Songbird'

Tae reads it twice, reverently refolds the letter, kisses it, and tucks it into the shirt pocket over his heart. Then he wraps the scarf around his neck. When he raises his eyes to look at me, they're brimming with tears. My eyes tear up as well, as he cups the back of my head in his hand and leans in to give me a kiss. I hear the camera shutter click as he takes a picture of us kissing. Laughing, I open my eyes, and then reach up to wipe the tear tracks off of his cheeks.

"I want to remember this moment forever," Tae says, smiling gently at me and pressing his hand to his shirt pocket. "Let's spend all the rest of our Christmases together, OK?"

"That sounds perfect, love," I say, smiling back at him.

"You know, I consider you to be too good for me, too. You're so sweet and smart and talented. You're cool and grounded, but really funny and sexy, too. I feel so calm and happy when you're around. I want to see the whole world together with you. You're my comfort zone, and I love you more than I can talk about."

I smile as he lapses into TaeTae speak at the end, and lean in to kiss him again.

"OK, Birdie, your turn! Open this big one from me!" Tae jumps up to bring me the gift, then sits down behind me and wraps me in a back-hug while I carefully ease open the wrapping paper.

I see beautiful polished walnut wood peeking out at me and turn with a surprised look to make eye contact with Tae. "What on Earth is it?" I ask, tearing the paper off with more gusto. "Oh, Taehyung! It's gorgeous!" I run my hands over the hand-carved guitar stand. "Oh, goodness... I love it so much!" I tear my eyes away from it to lean back and beam at him. I pull his head down for a quick, awkward kiss over my shoulder. "Thank you, lovie! It's perfect."

"An artist in Daegu made it for you!" he says, giving me a squeeze. Then he crawls over on his hands and knees to grab more gifts for both of us.

I rip into the packages from my family, while Tae opens the gifts from the members, including a black and gold silk brocade cravat from J-Hope that makes me laugh a lot. He puts it on over his white t-shirt.

I fake a plummy British accent. "Oh, topping, my dear. Spiffing, indeed!" We giggle, and I pull on the hand-knitted mittens that Caleb made for me, then reach up to straighten his cravat with my woolly hands. I laugh again when I see that Emily has sent me the dvd set of BTS's Fifth Muster. "Look, babe, Emily gave me you guys!" I say, grinning.

"Oh, nice! Magic Shop! Let's watch it after our feast today!" He twinkles his eyes at me.

"Deal!" I say.

Jin's gift of Wolverine-style meat-shredder claws includes a note: "Since I hear you're finally learning to cook..." Taehyung grins with delight as he tries them on.

"Jeez, those look dangerous!" I laugh.

"I'll use these to cut the turkey!" he announces, and I giggle.

"Shredded turkey is good," I say, nodding. "Oh, my parents are on the same wavelength as your Jin-hyung!" I add, showing him the Korean cookbook in English from Mom and Dad. "I guess they want me to learn to cook Korean food properly, instead of just making it up as I go!"

Jimin's gift is sugar cookies with snowflakes and polar bears frosted onto them. My friends from Pohang, meanwhile, sent me a couple pieces of very sexy lingerie. I laugh and facepalm. "Oh, lord, those ladies are so bad!" I say.

Tae picks up the strappy red and black lingerie. It's a complicated criss-cross fetishy looking thing with a built-in choker, which they obviously did not get from a Korean department store. "Ooh, this one is Christmas-y, Birdie!" He raises his eyebrow and bites his lip at me. I am surprised to find myself actually blushing. He looks at it again, then his eyes go huge and he shows me that the panties are crotchless.

"They are so bad!" I protest. "I'm innocent and pure, but they're bad influences!"

Tae laughs.

The only things left under the tree now are the bigger gift from me to him, and the small one from him to me. We squabble about who will open theirs first, then do rock paper scissors to decide.

I lose in five rounds, so Taehyung hands me the little rectangular box. "This really is ridiculously expensive jewelry, isn't it?" I ask, smiling at him.

"Uh, maybe!" he responds in English, looking mysterious.

I give him a suspicious look and shake the box lightly, listening for clues, then carefully tear off the gorgeous wrapping paper. Inside is another small red leather box, much like the one my birthday gift came in. "Oh, Taehyung!" I say, shaking my head at him.

I pry the box open and come face to face with a white gold panther covered in diamonds. 'I don't even want to know how much this necklace cost!' I think. He is watching my face carefully.

"Babe, this is way too much! You could have bought both of us motorcycles for this much money! Or put a down payment on a yacht." I run my fingers over the cat's sparkling face.

"Here, let me put it on for you!" he says, beaming and pulling my hair aside. I look down at the necklace, incongruously nestled against my Christmas sweater, then over at Taehyung in his undershirt and silk cravat, and I start laughing.

"I'm not sure about our styling today, babe. We seem to have severely mixed levels of formality!" I pet the panther gently, and smile at him. "Thank you, Taehyung-ah. It really is gorgeous. We could have bought dinner for all the homeless people in Seoul instead, you know."

"We can do that, too. That's a good idea!" he says.

I nod. "Let's do it, then!" I wrap my arms around him and smile at him lovingly, studying his face. "I love you and your sweet heart, Kim Taehyung," I tell him.

"I love you, too, Eunen Sae. And I think that's the first time you've ever said it out loud first."

"Really?!" I ask, shocked. "I must have... haven't I?"

"I don't think so. I would have remembered." He smiles at me.

I feel a bit ashamed, but I tuck his hair behind his ear and lean forward to kiss him. "Well, it's always true, even if I'm too shy to say it, babe," I tell him. Then I start hyperventilating, and have to stand up and run in place.

"Birdie?"

"Sorry, love, just a little panic attack. I'll be with you in a moment." Tae watches silently while I run, counting to fifty in my head. I manage to calm myself down, and sit beside him again.

"Why does that keep happening?" he asks, his eyes huge and worried.

"I don't know why..." I huff out a huge sigh, and smile at him. "Probably because I love you madly? This is why I don't say it first very often, babe. It's easier for me to just say 'Me, too' when you say it. But I hope you know that I do love you, always." I will my heart to stop pounding as I run my fingers through his hair and gaze into his eyes.

He strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. "I know. You show me in a thousand ways, even when you don't say it. It is nice to hear, but don't freak yourself out." We smile at each other for a long moment.

"OK, well, now you need to open this present from me!" I say, breaking the reverie.

Taehyung carefully unwraps a canvas to reveal a vivid mixed media portrait of a woman done in a cubist style. "Is this...?" He glances down at the signature. "It is! It's by that boy in California, right?" I grin and nod.

"Namjoon-shi helped me get in touch with his people. Do you like it?" I smile.

Taehyung is staring at the painting, transfixed. "Oh, Birdie, I love it! But aren't these very expensive?"

"Oh, well, I explained my situation to Andres, and he gave me a good deal on it." I smile at him. "He's a nice kid, not conceited, even though he's so talented and famous. Just like some other people I know."

"It's so beautiful. Wow. Look how he uses colors! This is incredible. Where are we going to put it?"

"I don't know, Tae. The dining room? The hallway? Somewhere where we can see it often, anyway."

"Oh, I love it so much. Thank you!" He grins at me, gently sets the painting down, and wraps me up in his arms.

Taehyung cues up a playlist of classic Christmas carols, and we get back to work in the kitchen, forming rolls, boiling and mashing potatoes, making gravy... I ask him to put out the relish items, which for my family means stuffed celery, fancy olives, pickles, and fresh veggies. He calls it "megook banchan" - American side dishes - and arranges everything very artistically in an elaborate geometric pattern on a wooden charcuterie board.

I am a little stressed that the meal won't turn out well, since this is his first introduction to an American Christmas dinner, but I get lucky, and everything is delicious. I insist on properly carving half of the turkey breast, but Tae tries out his meat claws on the other half. The meat is tender enough to shred nicely. He likes the warm dinner rolls best, and suggests that we should always make our own bread instead of buying it, but I just raise my eyebrows and smile at the suggestion.

Bing Crosby is crooning "O Holy Night" as we cut very thin slices of apple pie. I'm already pleasantly full, but Christmas dinner has to include pie, so we each have a sliver. I am absent-mindedly singing "It is the night of the dear savior's birth" as I carry the dessert plates to the table.

https://youtu.be/Tnza3mo2yD8

Tae suddenly looks over at me and says, "I just realized that I don't know... Are you Christian?"

I smile at him. "No, I'm not."

He looks very surprised. "Oh, I didn't know that!"

"Are you Christian?"

"No." He takes a bite of pie. "Oh, this is good, too!"

I smile. "Mmm, it is. Thanks, Costco Bakery!"

"Birdie, if you're not Christian, why does your family celebrate Christmas?"

I shrug. "It's just tradition? The Christians stole the holiday from European pagans, anyway." Tae stares at me for a moment, processing this information, then grins.

"So when we're in bed, and you yell 'ohmygod'..." He bites his lip at me.

I blush. "Obviously, I'm talking about you, babe!" We both laugh.