"Fighting flames with fire,
Hang on the burning wires,
We don't care anymore.
Are we fading lovers?
We keep wasting colours,
Maybe we should let this go."

Veronica's letter to Andrew.

Hey Drew,

I hope you're reading this letter only after my flight has taken off. But I secretly wish you had read it earlier so that you could come to the airport and take me back with you. However, I'm glad you listened to me.

I had to leave and it was a choice that I've been considering for a while now. The excessive work pressure, the situation with my parents and then Callie, I just couldn't take it anymore. Initially, I thought you'll be a big role in making me escape to London. But as days passed, you became my reason to stay.

I don't remember when we got so close. Spending a day without you felt like someone was piercing a thousand needles through me. Not exactly a pretty example but you get my point, don't you?

I remember the time you had to leave for Sydney for a week. I was miserable to say the least. So I can only imagine how lonely you must be feeling right now. I did not leave for just a week, after all. I'll be gone for a year.

On the bright side, you have the entire apartment to yourself! You can do whatever you want to (just don't destroy my room). Maybe it won't be the same without me. Maybe you'll miss me a lot. Maybe you'll feel angry that I left you. But I'm certain you'll get over it.

That's the funniest thing about human emotions, isn't it? We cry over something close to our heart (that makes me wonder, am I even close to your heart?). But we move on as days pass by. That's how the world works. Just imagine what a sad earth it would've been if everyone had drowned themselves in the sorrows, in memory of their deceased loved ones?

Get over the sadness. Try, won't you? And it's not like I'll be staying in North Pole. You can still reach out to me via any social networking site or messaging apps. Even better, just call me. Okay?

It'll be good to hear your voice over the phone. Maybe your voice will sound raspy and hoarse. Maybe I'll cry hearing your voice and not being able to see you in person. But we can talk 'til the sun comes up.

And then there's Skype. I don't prefer it though. Partly because I don't want you to see me crying and partly because I don't want you to see how miserable I am.

I'm telling you it'll work! It's only a matter of one year. I'll be back in no time. And after I get back, we can complete all those adventures that we had planned, right?

So...

There's something that I want to tell you and I don't know how to say it. That explains why I'm writing you this letter instead of talking face to face.

I'm in love with you.

I've been in love with you for so many years now. At first I thought, it was my infatuation or a crush. But soon I was proved wrong. I can't pinpoint the exact day I fell for you. However, I can assure you, the day I realised my feelings for you, I considered myself the luckiest girl on this earth for having fallen for a boy like YOU.

Even the littlest of your actions made me fall harder and harder. I know I sound like a creep and borderline stalkerish but just deal with it.

I started observing you more than I thought I would and it was then that I realised, you were broken. Like me.

Your parents always considered Ashton as their golden boy and pushed you to the sidelines. You tried so hard to be like him, so that your parents could feel proud of you too. But nothing worked and you eventually gave up. And I'm glad you gave up. Why chase after something so vague, something that wasn't even yours in the first place? It would've damaged you further. It wouldn't have worked. Trying to be like someone else makes you forget who you really are. You forget all your virtues and ideals and become someone completely different. Someone who isn't you. And you lose your identity in this huge world.

In the end, you listened to your own heart. You didn't change yourself to be like Ashton. I'm so proud of you for that. You knew being like Ashton will hardly be a solution. And that's what makes you Drew. You didn't change your identity.

Ashton loves you a lot and doesn't give a damn about how your parents feel for you. I'm happy you're not like him. It would suck to have two Ashtons in the family. And if so, who would I have fallen in love with?

I fell in love with the Drew that you are and not the Ashton you were trying to become.

Although it broke me to see you sad every time your parents neglected you, a part of me felt happy that you had at least Ashton by your side.

But me? I had no one.

My family hated me and they still do. And that made me fall for you harder. I believed, dealing with a similar issue would make you understand my situation and save me from my misery. That didn't happen though. If anything, everyone thought me to be an attention seeker when in reality I just wanted someone (anyone) to help me.

In the end, I gave up hope and went on with my life.

Even though you didn't save me, I didn't know why I kept falling for you harder. And before I knew it, I was in too deep. Too deep to get out.

I know it sounds stupid but love does that to you. It makes you hope for things that can never happen. It makes you believe in happy endings. But after 25 years of life, I've come to realise that not every person gets a sweet ending. Not me, at least. Life is not some cheesy teen fiction book for me.

When I moved into this apartment with you, I considered myself lucky to live under the same roof as you. But as days passed, I got the message that you didn't want me around. It had hurt me a lot to see you behave rudely with me all the time. But I dealt with it. I had no other choice.

Then the incident with Amanda happened and your hatred for me grew ten times.

After that, came Callie. I think you remember everything that has happened centering her.

And like an icing on the cake, we slept together.

I really don't know why I continued to give you the access to hurt me. You just did and I endured it.

But something changed after you apologized to me through your letter. You started changing your behaviour towards me. Although you were still a major douchebag, I could see pieces of your hard ice cold exterior starting to break. You were changing for the better. I never meant for you to change. But sometimes, change is good. Especially the type of change that makes you smile wider. That same thing happened with you and it filled me with joy.

You were not the broken boy anymore. You let your past stop bothering you.

I wish I could do that. But I can't, and that's why I had to move away.

I love you so much that it hurts. Hurts to know that you can never be mine.

Once a lady had said to me, 'If you truly love someone, you've to let him go.'

I'm following her words.

I'm letting you go.

I wish I could fight for you. But I'm sorry, I don't think I'm capable of that. What's the point anyway? It's not like you love me.

Lately, things have changed between us. However, I don't know where we stand. Are we friends? Acquaintances? Or what? I'll leave you to answer that.

But really, it's good that you don't love me. Because you can do so much better than this 'damsel in distress'.

Writing this letter to you just a day before leaving is quite hard. Parts of this letter have ink stains. Not because my pen betrayed me. My tears did.

Man, I'm gonna miss you so much!

I wish these circumstances wouldn't make me leave in this way. But alas, my time has come to bid you goodbye.

We'll meet soon. Don't worry. I won't stop annoying you that easily.

I'll be back after a year.

Keep me in your memory if you can. Oh, I forgot to tell you one thing.

You had asked for my forgiveness.

I forgive you. For everything that went wrong. For everything that you did wrong.

The memories that we've made will stay with me forever. It's very difficult to forget them actually. They form the brighter parts of my life and I'd never dare to lose those parts.

You are my first love and I think that's quite an achievement for me. Because I fell for THE ANDREW WOODS. Just kidding, you're not that special. But did manage to make my life worth living.

Stay safe, stay cool. Don't lose the faith in yourself. Keep listening to music. Open a YouTube channel or something but don't let your inner musician die. Eat healthy. Don't gorge on too much Japanese food. You tend to fall sick when you eat too much sushi. I know, you're weird like that.

I've taken the string lights with me. So don't panic if you can't find them in my room. I'll put them in my new room. Whenever I'll look at them, they'll remind me of you. I've also taken all your letters with me. Perhaps I'll read them at night, so that I can sleep better.

This letter is pretty long. So congratulations if you've made it this far. I just couldn't sum up 25 years of life in a few sentences, you know.

It's time to say goodbye now.

Temporary goodbye.

Until then, wait for me to come Home.

Love,
Veronica.

-

Song: All We Know by The Chainsmokers feat. Phoebe Ryan.

Song reference towards the end of the letter: Photograph by Ed Sheeran.

Veronica writes this letter before she comes to know that Drew loves her. that explains why she says whatever she says through this letter.

only the epilogue left now!

you can celebrate.

bye.